The Cowboy’s Return

by Aarsen, Carolyne

  “You saying you might not stick around Rockyview?”

  Trust Elliot to get past the doublespeak and catch the subtext. No baloney, that was his brother.

  Lucas avoided the question by grabbing the next bale, shivering as another burst of cold wind whistled through the door. Snow was coating the bales as they worked, drifting down, reminding him of time marching on.

  “In other words, no,” Elliot said with a heavy sigh, stopping to catch his breath.

  “In other words, I’m still thinking. I’ve made a serious commitment, however.”

  Elliot’s head spun around so quick Lucas was surprised his hat didn’t fly off his head. “Spill. Now.”

  Lucas almost laughed at the intensity of his brother’s stare.

  “I bucked up and stacked a whack of firewood.”

  Elliot rolled his eyes, laughing without humor. “Of course. That is a major move.”

  “So doesn’t that show I’m sticking around for a while?”

  “That house has two fireplaces doesn’t it?

  “One fireplace and one wood stove,” groaned Lucas, thinking of how tired his arms were after packing around enough wood to last both of them at least a month.

  “That’ll be cozy,” Elliot said. “Maybe you can help us out here. I know Tricia has been nagging at us all to build up our firewood stash. She has visions of roasting marshmallows over an open fire in the house.” Elliot rolled his neck, then focused in on Lucas. “Another thing she’ll be campaigning for is you to stay around at Christmas. She’s been busy making extra stockings for the current and future in-laws to join the ones that Mom made. Visions of sugarplums and huge amounts of people around the table are not only dancing in her head, she’s pushing them into ours. There will be no living with the girl if you don’t stick around,” Elliot warned.

  Lucas chuckled at his brother’s rant, but the thought of spending Christmas here brought mixed feelings.

  Christmas was when Summer would have her baby. The baby she was giving up for adoption. He would like to ask Elliot more about Summer’s situation, but his brother had just returned to the ranch himself, and Lucas doubted he would be much help. Tricia barely knew what was going on, and if his sister didn’t know, then few other people would.

  “Not sure what I’m doing with the ranch,” Lucas said. “So we’ll have to see.”

  “What do you mean you’re not sure what to do with the ranch?” Elliot asked, grabbing another bale. “What’s to do? A ranch is a ranch. You ranch on a ranch.”

  Lucas laughed once again at his brother’s blunt comment. “I know that, I’m just not so sure of what I want my next step to be.”

  “I guess I understand that,” Elliot said, brushing the snow off the next bale. “All you ever talked about was being in the army like your dad. And now you’re discharged. That’s gotta be disorienting.”

  “It is. I feel like I’ve lost a part of my identity.”

  “I know the military is important to you, but there’s other ways to live, other things to do. Though I never quite understood why you were so stuck on that career choice.” Elliot picked up a straw bale by the strings and tossed it toward Lucas.

  “I guess it was a way of being close to my biological father.” Lucas grabbed the bale Elliot had tossed his way, heaving it up and setting it on the growing pile inside the barn. Bits of straw showered down on his hat and drifted into his shirt. He was hot and sweaty and the straw was itchy, but it felt so good to be working hard, side-by-side with Elliot. Felt good to be doing physical work. “I always admired my father, he was a good dad. And every time he put on his uniform and walked out the door, I felt so proud of him.”

  “Did you ever feel that way about Zach?”

  Lucas caught the defensive tone in Elliot’s voice. “Of course I did,” he said, catching the next bale Elliot tossed him. “But it was a different kind of pride. Zach was so tied to the land, so tied to this place, it was all part of his identity. It was like he’d grown up out of the soil and become his own person.”

  “You do realize that he had parents,” Elliot teased.

  “Of course,” Lucas said. “I remember visiting Grandpa Tye. You know what I always thought was so cool about him, he was as interested in us and the stories we had to tell as he was in Tricia, who was his biological grandchild. He never played favorites. He treated us all the same no matter when we came into the family.”

  “Grandpa Tye was a great old man,” Elliot grunted, tossing Lucas another bale.

  “He was the only grandparent I had,” Lucas said.

  “What about your grandmother?” Elliot asked, sounding puzzled.

  Lucas paused, realizing his mistake. He shrugged. “I guess I’ve never thought of her as a real grandmother, especially not after she moved away, after my parents died.”

  “But she lived with you from time to time when you were growing up, didn’t she?” Elliot paused to pull a handkerchief out of his pocket and wipe his forehead.

  Misty, who had been sitting in her usual spot by the door, trotted over to lick Lucas’s hand.

  “Are you getting bored with all this chitchat and bale tossing?” Lucas asked, crouching down to stroke her head, scratch under her chin. He smiled as she yawned then licked his face. He was getting way too attached to this dog.

  You'll have to take her when you go.

  The thought was automatic, but Lucas couldn’t get behind the thought as quickly as he usually did. His nebulous plans were becoming even more vague with each day he stayed in Rockyview. But the one constant woven through all his future plans was Summer.

  And the questions surrounding her and her pregnancy.

  Lucas grabbed a water bottle lying on the dirt floor of the barn, popped the top open, took a swig, and tossed the bottle to Elliot.

  Elliot took a drink then wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. He set the bottle aside and paused a moment, looking at Lucas with puzzlement.

  “I remember you talking about Glenda,” Elliot said. “You always seemed angry with her.”

  “I was,” Lucas agreed, leaning back against the straw bales, brushing the bits of straw off his sleeves. “I don’t think she ever approved of my father’s choice of being a soldier. I guess that’s what happens when it’s your daughter who’s marrying into the military. I know my mom would complain to her from time to time about Dad’s deployments and how she worried about him. So maybe Glenda took that and ran with it. I didn’t like how she talked about my dad.”

  “Your parents weren’t dead very long when she dropped you off here, were they?” Elliot asked.

  Lucas shook his head, thinking back to that time. The bitterness that usually accompanied the memory had been tempered by time and by their conversation on Sunday, but it could still cut. “I think she brought me here the day after the funeral,” Lucas said. “I’m sure I cried for the first three weeks I was here.”

  “I understand completely,” Elliot said. “I did the same.”

  Lucas bit his lip, trying to phrase his next question.

  “You look like you want to ask me something,” Elliot said, pushing himself away from the doorframe and grabbing another bale.

  “You always were perceptive,” Lucas returned. “I wanted to ask about your biological father. Do you ever see him?”

  “As little as I want,” Elliot said. “Though with Kinsley’s help I’ve made my peace with him and his legacy.”

  “What you mean by that?”

  “You know how you said you always wanted to be like your father?” Elliot asked as he tossed another bale inside. “Well, so did I. But for the wrong reasons. I wanted to beat my dad. I wanted to be better than him. Like it was some kind of twisted competition. Of course it didn’t help that he was always telling me I never could do what he did. Turned out, I never did.”

  “Get to the Canadian Finals Rodeo.” Lucas finished for him.

  “I realized it wasn’t important. I realized the only father I have to please i
s my heavenly Father and Zach, my true earthly father.”

  Lucas pondered that thought a moment, trying to make it jive with his own thoughts of his biological father and Zach. “I guess maybe that’s where things are little bit different for me. I respected my father, and he was a good man. I think being a soldier like him was a way of getting close to someone I missed so terribly. And maybe, subliminally, it was a way of getting back at my grandmother for her disapproval of my father. But Glenda and I talked on Sunday, and I found out more about how my parents’ death, especially my mother’s, had affected her. I’m sure it’ll still take time to get through it all, but it’s helped to see her perspective on things. Losing my mom hurt her more than I ever realized.”

  “That’s true, but it was still kinda selfish of her to leave you in the lurch.”

  “Kinda,” Lucas agreed. “But I’ll have to find a way to work through that as well,” he said, tossing another bale on the stack. “After all, her actions brought me here, and here is a good place.”

  “True that,’ Elliot returned. He picked up the last bale and instead of giving it to Lucas, dropped it on the ground, closed the door against the chilly wind circling the barn, and sat down.

  “Good thing working so hard helps keep a guy warm,” he said, tugging off his gloves and rubbing his hands together.

  “I’m guessing you have other wisdom to impart,” Lucas said.

  “What about you and Summer?” Elliot asked.

  “Ah, now you’re getting to the main point.” Lucas tried to keep his tone light, but felt as if he was drawn inexorably down a path he couldn’t quickly backtrack from.

  “It always was the main point,” Elliot agreed. “I just was trying to find a decent roundabout way to get there. I know what she meant to you, and I get the feeling that emotion has never left.”

  Lucas dropped onto the ground, leaning back against the bales, his legs stretched out in front of him. Misty trotted over and lay down beside him, her head resting on his legs. He absently fondled her ears, his mind drifting back over the last couple days. Over his conversation with Summer on Saturday. How they had kissed and how that had felt for him.

  “So has she said anything about that baby she’s carrying?” Elliot asked.

  Lucas bristled at his brother’s choice of words. That baby. But that was just Elliot, he realized, relaxing. He didn’t mean anything unkind by it.

  “I know she was dating some guy, so I’m guessing it’s his. And I’m guessing he’s out of the picture.”

  “That should be a good thing for you,” Elliot said.

  Lucas shrugged, fiddling with Misty’s silky ears, trying to gather his thoughts. “I know that, but there’s something kinda off about it all,” he said.

  “You’re losing me real fast here.”

  Lucas hesitated, weighing what to tell his brother.

  “She’s giving the baby up for adoption." Even as he spoke the words and saw the look of surprise on Elliot’s face, he caught himself wanting to defend Summer. “She told me it was because she didn’t want the baby to be the child of a single mother like she and her brother were. I don’t think she had a terrible childhood, but I sure think it was difficult. I know money was always tight for them and her mom was gone a lot.”

  “Yeah, but she’s a trained nurse,” Elliot said, sounding puzzled. “She’d have a decent income. She could give that kid a way better life than she had.”

  “I know,” Lucas said. “But I feel like there’s more to the story than she’s telling me.”

  “Why don’t you just ask her?”

  “You do realize you are talking about my ex-girlfriend,” Lucas said. “The girl who dumped me. It’s not that easy to sit down and have a heart-to-heart. You know, like good friends would.”

  “I suppose not,” Elliot agreed, “but I know you still care a lot about her, and I think you could come at it from that angle.”

  “Is it that obvious?” Lucas asked with a shaky laugh.

  “It is,” Elliot said. “And I think if you were to pay close attention, you’d realize that she probably still feels the same.”

  “How would you know?”

  “I saw how she looked at you in church,” Elliot said. “I may not be Mensa material, but I’m not dumb.”

  “The fact that you even used Mensa in the proper context gives me hope for your intelligence,” Lucas joked, hardly daring to believe what Elliot was saying.

  “I can Google with the best of them, and I don’t need no computer to tell me that Summer still cares about you.”

  Elliot’s words ignited a flicker of hope. There were so many uncertainties between him and Summer yet, but as Elliot said, he knew the old feelings they had for each other were still there

  “You’re thinking again,” Elliot said. “You know I’ve repeatedly told you how dangerous that can be.”

  This netted Lucas another quick laugh. “Okay, let’s talk this through. I give in to my feelings, I declare my affection for her, and she says she cares for me like you claim she does, and then what?”

  “Then you stay on the ranch, you guys get married, and she keeps that baby she’s carrying.”

  “You make it sound so simple,” Lucas said. “Like I said, there’s a bunch of other things simmering beneath the surface she’s holding back. And if that’s the case, I don’t think we’ll be able to see our way clear to finding a happily ever after until she tells me those things. The uncertainties will always be there, waiting.”

  Elliot was quiet a moment. “Maybe I’m just a basic kinda guy,” he finally said. “I never was the kind of bronc rider that had a lot of finesse or particular style. I didn’t make a plan. I just got on and rode it out, hoping I could hang on for eight seconds. I had a basic cowboy philosophy, and I’m wondering if that’s the one you want to adopt right now.”

  Lucas nodded slowly, letting Elliot’s word sink in. Even though he was a soldier and had seen combat, he had never been one to take risks. He planned, he thought, he anticipated, then executed.

  “You might be right,” he said, slowly getting to his feet. “Maybe it’s time to try something different and more direct.”

  “Sounds like you have more to gain than you have to lose,” Elliot said, also getting up.

  Elliot grabbed his fleece-lined jacket and slipped it on, snapping it up. Then he dropped his hat on his head and pulled his gloves out of his pocket. He slid open the door and shivered as he looked out at the darkening clouds and the snow now falling from the sky.

  “You know I could get all metaphorical and stuff,” Elliot said, his hands on his hips as he looked outside. Then he glanced back over his shoulder, grinning at Lucas. “I’m guessing there’s a storm rolling in. So I’m thinking you should get home before midnight, Cinderella.”

  Lucas frowned, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t get the metaphor.”

  “Storm? Rolling in? You talking to Summer like we were just talking about?” Elliot lifted his hands. “You know, for a smart guy, sometimes you can be pretty dumb.”

  Lucas slapped him on the back with a laugh then whistled for Misty, and together they walked out into the gathering snow.

  “You staying for supper again?” Elliot asked.

  Yesterday Lucas had come to the ranch and Tricia invited him to join them.

  He had no reason to say no. Summer hadn’t said anything to him that morning about dinner, and he wasn’t asking. This morning she hadn’t come out for a walk, and when he returned to the house, her car was gone and no one was at home. She most likely had to take Glenda to an appointment.

  He knew he had no right to ask what was going on, but he felt as if he was being brushed off.

  “Yeah, I think I will,” Lucas said. If he went to the house he'd be sitting there, petting Misty and overthinking. He needed to be around his practical and loving family.

  Supper turned out to be another noisy affair. Everyone was there, and the conversation threaded through itself as everyone
talked about their day, about the weather, the goings-on in town.

  Carmen was selling her café to Kerry from Mug Shots and there was talk that Tanner Bond might come back to sell his ranch. The Tyes weren’t interested. They had enough land right now and weren’t looking to expand.

  Lucas had thought about his ranch and the land connected to it. Zach and the boys rented it for now.

  Would they buy it from him if it was for sale?

  Did he want to sell it?

  He had been quiet over supper, but thankfully, no one mentioned it or tried to draw him out.

  And all the way home that evening he kept thinking of what Elliot had said.

  Kept thinking about the connection he and Summer shared each time they kissed. Even though he hadn’t seen her for the past few days, he still felt they had already moved into a situation where things needed to be addressed.

  He couldn’t keep hovering, waiting, wondering what the next day would bring. It wasn’t fair to him, and it wasn’t fair to Summer.

  And it certainly wasn’t fair to that baby she carried.

  * * *

  Summer ended the call, chewing her lip as she set her phone on the table.

  “You look concerned,” Glenda said as she came back from the short walk she had been making up and down the hall.

  On Sunday after church Glenda said she was ready to do more exercises. So Monday and yesterday, Summer had laid out a program for her that she’d actually been following.

  Summer was seeing definite improvement in Glenda’s walking and range of motion the past few days. However, every day she gained strength meant Summer’s job was coming closer to the end.

  She didn’t want to think beyond that.

  “I just got a call from someone about Misty,” Summer said, addressing Glenda’s comment. “The dog Lucas is taking care of.”

  “What did they say?” Glenda walked around the kitchen table, her back straight, her step sure.

  “These people said they lost a dog that looks similar to Misty. They want to come this weekend and have a look at her.”