The Competitive Nephew

by Montague Glass

  CHAPTER TWO

  OPPORTUNITY

  "What is brokers?" Mr. Marcus Shimko asked. "A broker is no good,otherwise he wouldn't be a broker. Brokers is fellers which theycouldn't make a success of their own affairs, Mr. Zamp, so they buttinto everybody else's. Particularly business brokers, Mr. Zamp.Real-estate brokers is bad enough, and insurings brokers is a lot ofsharks also; but for a cutthroat, a low-life bum, understand me, theworst is a business broker!"

  "That's all right, too, Mr. Shimko," Harry Zamp said timidly; "but if Iwould get a partner with say, for example, five hundred dollars, Icould make a go of this here business."

  Mr. Shimko nodded skeptically.

  "I ain't saying you couldn't," he agreed, "but where would you findsuch a partner? Nowadays a feller with five hundred dollars don't thinkof going into retail business no more. The least he expects is heshould go right away into manufacturing. Jobbing and retailing is nixfor such a feller, understand me--especially clothing, Mr. Zamp, whichnowadays even drug stores carries retail clothing as a side line, socut up the business is."

  Harry Zamp nodded gloomily.

  "And, furthermore," Shimko added, "business brokers could no more getyou a partner with money as they could do miracles, Mr. Zamp. Them daysis past, Mr. Zamp, and all a business broker could do nowadays is tobring you a feller with experience, and you don't need a businessbroker for _that_, Mr. Zamp. Experience in the retail clothing businessis like the measles. Everybody has had it."

  "Then what should I do, Mr. Shimko?" Zamp asked helplessly. "I must gotto get a partner with money somewhere, ain't it? And if I wouldn't goto a business broker, who then would I go to? A bartender?"

  "Never mind!" Mr. Shimko exclaimed. "Some people got an idee allbartenders is bums, but wunst in a while a feller could get from abartender an advice also. I got working for me wunst in my place downon Park Row a feller by the name Klinkowitz, which he is now manager ofthe Olympic Gardens on Rivington Street; and if I would have took thatfeller's advice, Mr. Zamp, instead I am worth now my tens of thousandsI would got hundreds of thousands already. 'When you see a feller isgoing down and out, Mr. Shimko,' he always says to me, 'don't show himno mercy at all. If you set 'em up for a live one, Mr. Shimko,' hesays, 'he would anyhow buy a couple of rounds; but a dead one, Mr.Shimko,' he says, 'if you show him the least little encouragement,understand me, the least that happens you is he gets away with thewhole lunch-counter.' Am I right or wrong?"

  Mr. Zamp nodded. He resented the imputation that he was a dead one, buthe felt bound to agree with Mr. Shimko, in view of the circumstancethat on the following day he would owe a month's rent with smallprospect of being able to pay it. Indeed, he wondered at Mr. Shimko'samiability, for as owner of the Canal Street premises Shimko had thereputation of being a harsh landlord. Had Zamp but known it, however,store property on Canal Street was not in active demand of late, byreason of the new bridge improvements, and Shimko's amiabilityproceeded from a desire to retain Zamp as a tenant if the latter'ssolvency could be preserved.

  "But I couldn't help myself, Mr. Zamp," Shimko went on. "I got nobusiness keeping a restaurant at all."

  As a matter of fact, Mr. Shimko's late restaurant was of the varietypopularly designated as a "barrel-house," and he had only retired fromthe business after his license had been revoked.

  "Yes, Mr. Zamp," Shimko continued; "in a business like that a fellershouldn't got a heart at all. But I am very funny that way. I couldn'tbear to see nobody suffer, understand me, and everybody takes advantageof me on account of it. So I tell you what I would do. My wife got asort of a relation by the name Miss Babette Schick, which she works foryears by a big cloak and suit concern as a designer. She ain't so youngno longer, but she got put away in savings bank a couple of thousanddollars, and she is engaged to be married to a young feller by the nameIsaac Meiselson, which nobody could tell what he does for a living atall. One thing is certain--with the money this Meiselson gets with MissSchick he could go as partners together with you, and pull you out ofthe hole, ain't it?"

  Mr. Zamp nodded again, without enthusiasm.

  "Sure, I know, Mr. Shimko," he said; "but if a young feller would gottwo thousand dollars to invest in a business, y'understand, why shouldhe come to me? If he would only got five hundred dollars, Mr. Shimko,that would be something else again. But with so much as two thousanddollars a feller could get lots of clothing businesses which they run abig store with a couple of cutters, a half a dozen salesmen, and abookkeeper. What have I got to offer him for two thousand dollars? Me,I am salesman, cutter, bookkeeper, and everything; and if this fellercomes in here and sees me alone in the place, with no customers nornothing, he gets an idee it's a dead proposition. Ain't it?"

  Shimko pulled out a full cigar-case, whereat Zamp's eye kindled, and helicked his lips in anticipation; but after Shimko had selected a darkperfecto, he closed the case deliberately and replaced it in hisbreast-pocket.

  "A business man must got to got gumption," he said to the disappointedZamp; "and if you think you could got a partner just by bringing himinto the store here, and showing him the stock and fixtures which yougot it, you are making a big mistake."

  "Well, of course I am expecting I should blow him to dinner maybe,"Zamp protested, "with a theayter also."

  Shimko evidenced his disgust by puffing vigorously at his cigar.

  "You are just like a whole lot of other people, Zamp," he said. "Youare always willing to spend money before you make it. Meiselson comesin here and sees you only got a small stock of piece goods, understandme, and you couldn't afford to keep no help, and then, on the top ofthat yet, you would take him out and blow him. Naturally he right awaygets the idee you are spending your money foolishly, instead of puttingit into your business, and the whole thing is off."

  Zamp shrugged impotently.

  "What could I do, Mr. Shimko?" he asked. "I got here a small stock ofgoods, I know, but that's just the reason why I want a partner."

  "And that's just the reason why you wouldn't get one," Shimko declared."A small stock of piece goods you couldn't help, Zamp; but if you letthat feller come into your store and find you ain't got no cutters orcustomers, that's your own fault."

  "What d'ye mean, Mr. Shimko?" Zamp demanded.

  "I mean this," Shimko explained. "If I would got a store like you gotit here, Zamp, and a friend offers to bring me a feller with a couplethousand dollars for a partner, understand me, I would go to work,y'understand, and get a couple cutters and engage 'em for theafternoon. Then I would turn around, y'understand, and go up and seesuch a feller like Klinkowitz, which he is manager of that theayter onRivington Street, and I would get him to fix up for me a half a dozenyoung fellers from his theayter, which they would come down to my storefor the day, and some of 'em acts like customers, and others acts likeclerks. Then, when my friend brings in the feller with two thousanddollars, understand me, what do they see? The place is full ofcustomers and salesmen, and in the rear is a couple of cutters chalkinglines on pattern papers and cutting it up with shears. You yourself areso busy, understand me, you could hardly talk a word to us. You don'twant to know anything about getting a partner at all. What is a partnerwith two thousand dollars in a rushing business like you are doing it?I beg of you you should take the matter under consideration, but youpretty near throw me out of the store, on account you got so much todo. At last you say you would take a cup coffee with me at six o'clock,and I go away with the two-thousand dollar feller, and when we meetagain at six o'clock, he's pretty near crazy to invest his money withyou. Do you get the idee?"

  "Might you could even get the feller to pay for the coffee, maybe,"Zamp suggested, completely carried away by Shimko's enthusiasm.

  "If the deal goes through," Shimko declared, in a burst of generosity,"I would even pay for the coffee myself!"

  "And when would you bring the feller here?" Zamp asked.

  "I would see him this afternoon yet," Shimko replied, as he opened thestore door, "and I would telephone you sure,
by Dachtel's place, atfour o'clock."

  Zamp, full of gratitude, shook hands with his landlord.

  "If I would got such a head like you got it to think out schemes, Mr.Shimko," he said fervently, "I would be a millionaire, I bet yer!"

  "The thinking out part is nothing," Shimko said, as he turned to leave."Any blame fool could think out a scheme, y'understand, but it takes apretty bright feller to make it work!"

  * * * * *

  "If a feller wouldn't be in business for himself," Shimko said to IsaacMeiselson, as they sat in Wasserbauer's Cafe that afternoon, "he mightjust as well never come over from Russland at all."

  "I told you before, Mr. Shimko," Meiselson retorted, "I am from Lemberg_geborn_."

  "_Oestreich oder Russland_, what is the difference?" Shimko asked. "Ifa feller is working for somebody else, nobody cares who he is or whathe is; while if he's got a business of his own, understand me, everybodywould respect him, even if he would be born in, we would say for example,China."

  "Sure, I know, Mr. Shimko," Meiselson rejoined; "but there isbusinesses and businesses, and what for a business is a small retailclothing store on Canal Street?"

  "Small the store may be, I ain't denying it," Shimko said; "but ain'tit better a feller does a big business in a small store as a smallbusiness in a big store?"

  "_If_ he does a big business, yes," Meiselson admitted; "but if afeller does a big business, why should he want to got a partner?"

  "Ain't I just telling you he _don't_ want no partner?" Shimko interrupted."And as for doing a big business, I bet yer we could drop in on thefeller any time, and we would find the store full of people."

  "_Gewiss_," Meiselson commented, "three people playing auction pinochlein a small store is a big crowd!"

  "No auction pinochle gets played in that store, Meiselson. The fellerhas working by him two cutters and three salesmen, and he makes 'emearn their money. Only yesterday I am in the store, and if you wouldbelieve me, Meiselson, his own landlord he wouldn't talk to at all, sobusy he is."

  "In that case, what for should he need me for a partner I couldn'tunderstand at all," Meiselson declared.

  "Neither could I," Shimko replied, "but a feller like you, which hewould soon got two thousand dollars to invest, needs _him_ for apartner. A feller like Zamp would keep you straight, Meiselson. Whatyou want is somebody which he is going to make you work."

  "What d'ye mean, going to make me work?" Meiselson asked indignantly."I am working just as hard as you are, Mr. Shimko. When a feller isselling toilet soaps and perfumeries, Mr. Shimko, he couldn't see histrade only at certain hours of the day."

  "I ain't kicking you are not working, Meiselson," Shimko said hastily."All I am telling you is, what for a job is selling toilet soaps andperfumery? You got a limited trade there, Meiselson; because when itcomes to toilet soaps, understand me, how many people takes it soparticular? I bet yer with a hundred people, Meiselson, eighty useslaundry soap, fifteen _ganvers_ soap from hotels and saloons, andthe rest buys wunst in six months a five-cent cake of soap. As forperfumery, Meiselson, for a dollar bill you could get enough perfumeryto make a thousand people smell like an Italiener barber-shop; whereasclothing, Meiselson, everybody must got to wear it. If you are comingto compare clothing with toilet soap for a business, Meiselson, thereain't no more comparison as gold and putty."

  Meiselson remained silent.

  "Furthermore," Shimko continued, "if Zamp sees a young feller like you,which even your worst enemy must got to admit it, Meiselson, you are aswell dresser, and make a fine, up-to-date appearance, understand me,he would maybe reconsider his decision not to take a partner."

  "Did he say he wouldn't take a partner?" Meiselson asked hopefully.

  "He says to me so sure as you are sitting there: 'Mr. Shimko, my dearfriend, if it would be for your sake, I would willingly go as partnerstogether with some young feller,' he says; 'but when a business man ismaking money,' he says, 'why should he got to got a partner?' he says.So I says to him: 'Zamp,' I says, 'here is a young feller which he isgoing to get married to a young lady by the name Miss Babette Schick.'"

  "She ain't so young no longer," Meiselson broke in ungallantly.

  "'By the name Miss Babette Schick,'" Shimko continued, recognizing theinterruption with a malevolent glare, "'which she got, anyhow, a couplethousand dollars,' I says; 'and for her sake and for my sake,' I says,'if I would bring the young feller around here, would you consent tolook him over?' And he says for my sake he would consent to do it, butwe shouldn't go around there till next week."

  "All right," Meiselson said; "if you are so dead anxious I should doso, I would go around next week."

  "Say, lookyhere, Meiselson," Shimko burst out angrily, "don't do me nofavours! Do you or do you not want to go into a good business? Because,if you don't, say so, and I wouldn't bother my head further."

  "Sure I do," Meiselson said.

  "Then I want to tell you something," Shimko continued. "We wouldn'twait till next week at all. With the business that feller does, delaysis dangerous. If we would wait till next week, some one offers him agood price and buys him out, maybe. To-morrow afternoon, two o'clock,you and me goes over to his store, understand me, and we catches himunawares. Then you could see for yourself what a business that felleris doing."

  Meiselson shrugged.

  "I am agreeable," he said.

  "Because," Shimko went on, thoroughly aroused by Meiselson's apathy,"if you're such a fool that you don't know it, Meiselson, I must got totell you. Wunst in a while, if a business man is going to get a fellerfor partner, when he knows the feller is coming around to look thebusiness over, he plants phony customers round the store, and makes itshow up like it was a fine business, when in reality he is going tobust up right away."

  "So?" Meiselson commented, and Shimko glared at him ferociously.

  "You don't appreciate what I am doing for you at all," Shimko cried. "Iwouldn't telephone the feller or nothing that we are coming, understandme? We'll take him by surprise."

  Meiselson shrugged.

  "Go ahead and take him by surprise if you want to," he said wearily. "Iam willing."

  In point of fact, Isaac Meiselson was quite content to remain in thesoap and perfumery trade, and it was only by dint of much persuasion onMiss Babette Schick's part that he was prevailed upon to embark in amore lucrative business. It seemed a distinct step downward when hecompared the well-nigh tender methods employed by him in disposing ofsoap and perfumery to the proprietresses of beauty parlours, with themore robust salesmanship in vogue in the retail clothing business; andhe sighed heavily as he contemplated the immaculate ends of hisfinger-nails, so soon to be sullied by contact with the fast-black,all-wool garments in Zamp's clothing store.

  "Also, I would meet you right here," Shimko concluded, "at half-pastone sharp to-morrow."

  * * * * *

  After the conclusion of his interview with Isaac Meiselson, Shimkorepaired immediately to Zamp's tailoring establishment, and togetherthey proceeded to the office of Mr. Boris Klinkowitz, manager of theOlympic Gardens, on Rivington Street. Shimko explained the object oftheir business, and in less than half an hour the resourcefulKlinkowitz had engaged a force of cutters, salesmen, and customerssufficient to throng Harry Zamp's store for the entire day.

  "You would see how smooth the whole thing goes," Klinkowitz declared,after he had concluded his arrangements. "The cutters is genu-inecutters, members from a union already, and the salesmen works for yearsby a couple concerns on Park Row."

  "And the customers?" Zamp asked.

  "That depends on yourself," Klinkowitz replied. "If you got a couplereal bargains in sample garments, I wouldn't be surprised if thecustomers could be genu-ine customers also. Two of 'em works here aswaiters, evenings, and the other three ain't no bums, neither. I calleda dress-rehearsal at your store to-morrow morning ten o'clock."

  On the following day, when Mr. Shim
ko visited his tenant's store, herubbed his eyes.

  "Ain't it wonderful?" he exclaimed. "Natural like life!"

  "S-s-sh!" Zamp exclaimed.

  "What's the matter, Zamp?" Shimko whispered.

  Zamp winked.

  "Only the cutters and the salesmen showed up," he replied.

  "Well, who are them other fellows there?" Shimko asked.

  "How should I know?" Zamp said hoarsely. "A couple of suckers comes infrom the street, and we sold 'em the same like anybody else."

  Here the door opened to admit a third stranger. As the two "property"salesmen were busy, Zamp turned to greet him.

  "Could you make me up maybe a dress suit _mit_ a silk lining?" thenewcomer asked.

  "What are you so late for?" Zamp retorted. "Klinkowitz was here_schon_ an hour ago already."

  The stranger looked at Zamp in a puzzled fashion.

  "What are you talking about--Klinkowitz?" he said. "I don't know thefeller at all."

  Zamp gazed hard at his visitor, and then his face broke into a broad,welcoming smile.

  "Excuse me," he said. "I am making a mistake. Do you want a Frenchdrape, _oder_ an unfinished worsted?"

  For the next thirty minutes a succession of customers filled the store,and when at intervals during that period Klinkowitz's supernumerariesarrived, Zamp turned them all away.

  "What are you doing, Zamp?" Shimko exclaimed. "At two o'clock the storewould be empty!"

  "Would it?" Zamp retorted, as he eyed a well-dressed youth who pausedin front of the show-window. "Well, maybe it would and maybe itwouldn't; and, anyhow, Mr. Shimko, if there wouldn't be no customershere, we would anyhow got plenty of cutting to do. Besides, Shimko,customers is like sheep. If you get a run of 'em, one follows theother."

  For the remainder of the forenoon the two salesmen had all thecustomers they could manage; and as Shimko watched them work, his facegrew increasingly gloomy.

  "Say, lookyhere, Zamp," he said; "you are doing here such a bigbusiness, where do I come in?"

  "What d'ye mean, where do _you_ come in?" Zamp asked.

  "Why the idee is mine you should get in a couple salesmen and cutters,"Shimko began, "and----"

  "What d'ye mean, the _idee_ is yours?" Zamp rejoined. "Ain't I gota right to hire a couple salesmen and cutters if I want to?"

  "Yes, but you never would have done so if I ain't told it you," Shimkosaid. "I ought to get a rake-off here."

  "You should get a rake-off because my business is increasing so I gotto hire a couple salesmen and cutters!" Zamp exclaimed. "What an idee!"

  Shimko paused. After all, he reflected, why should he quarrel withZamp? At two o'clock, when he expected to return with Meiselson, if thecopartnership were consummated, he would collect 10 per cent. of thecopartnership funds as the regular commission. Moreover, he had decidedto refuse to consent to the transfer of the store lease from Zampindividually to the copartnership of Zamp & Meiselson, save at anincrease in rental of ten dollars a month.

  "Very well, Zamp," he said. "Maybe the idee ain't mine; but just thesame, I would be back here at two o'clock, and Meiselson comes along."

  With this ultimatum Shimko started off for Wasserbauer's Cafe, and atten minutes to two he accompanied Meiselson down to Canal Street.

  "Yes, Meiselson," Shimko began, as they approached Zamp's store."There's a feller which he ain't got no more sense as you have, and yethe is doing a big business anyhow."

  "What d'ye mean, no more sense as I got it?" Meiselson demanded."Always up to now I got sense enough to make a living, and I ain'tkilled myself doing it, neither!"

  For the remainder of their journey to Zamp's store Shimko sulked insilence; but when at length they reached their destination he exclaimedaloud:

  "Did you ever see the like?" he cried. "The place is actually full upwith customers!"

  Zamp's prediction had more than justified itself. When Shimko andMeiselson entered, he looked up absently as he handled the rolls ofpiece goods which he had purchased, for cash, only one hour previously.Moreover, his pockets overflowed with money, for every customer hadpaid a deposit of at least 25 per cent.

  "Good afternoon, Mr. Zamp," Shimko cried. "This is Mr. Meiselson, thegentleman which I am speaking to you about. He wants to go as partnerstogether with you."

  Zamp ran his hand through his dishevelled hair. He was more thanconfused by his sudden accession of trade.

  "You got to excuse me, Mr. Shimko," he said, "I am very, very busy justnow."

  Shimko winked furtively at Zamp.

  "Sure, I know," he said, "but when could we see you later to-day?"

  "You _couldn't_ see me later to-day," Zamp replied. "I am going towork to-night getting out orders."

  "_Natuerlich_," Shimko rejoined, "but couldn't you take a cupcoffee with us a little later?"

  Zamp jumped nervously as the door opened to admit another customer. Thetwo clerks, supplemented by a third salesman, who had been hired bytelephone, were extolling the virtues of Zamp's wares in stentoriantones, and the atmosphere of the little store was fairly suffocating.

  "I couldn't think of it," Zamp answered, and turned to the newlyarrived customer. "Well, sir," he cried, "what could I do for _you_?"

  "Say, lookyhere, Zamp," Shimko exploded angrily, "what is the matterwith you? I am bringing you here a feller which he wants to go aspartners together with you, and----"

  At this juncture Meiselson raised his right hand like a trafficpoliceman at a busy crossing.

  "One moment, Mr. Shimko," he interrupted. "You are saying that I am thefeller which wants to go as partners together with Mr. Zamp?"

  "Sure!" Shimko said.

  "Well, all I got to say is this," Meiselson replied. "I ain't no horse.Some people which they got a couple thousand dollars to invest wouldlike it they should go into a business like this, and kill themselvesto death, Mr. Shimko, but _me_ not!"

  He opened the store door and started for the street.

  "But, lookyhere, Meiselson!" Shimko cried in anguished tones.

  "_Koosh_, Mr. Shimko!" Meiselson said. "I am in the soap and perfumerybusiness, Mr. Shimko, and I would stay in it, too!"

  * * * * *

  Six months later Harry Zamp sat in Dachtel's Coffee House on CanalStreet, and smoked a post-prandial cigar. A diamond pin sparkled in hisneck-tie, and his well-cut clothing testified to his complete solvency.

  Indeed, a replica of the coat and vest hung in the window of hisenlarged business premises on Canal Street, labelled "The Latest fromthe London Pickadillies," and he had sold, strictly for cash, more thana dozen of the same style during the last twenty-four hours. For therush of trade which began on the day when he hired the "property"salesmen and cutters had not only continued but had actually increased;and it was therefore with the most pleasurable sensations that herecognized, at the next table, Isaac Meiselson, the unconscious causeof all his prosperity.

  "Excuse me," he began, "ain't your name Meiselson?"

  "My name is Mr. Meiselson," Isaac admitted. "This is Mr. Zamp, ain'tit?"

  Zamp nodded.

  "You look pretty well, considering the way you are working in thatclothing business of yours," Meiselson remarked.

  "Hard work never hurted me none," Zamp answered. "Are you still in thesoap and perfumery business, Mr. Meiselson?"

  Meiselson shook his head.

  "No," he said, "I went out of the soap business when I got married lastmonth."

  "Is that so?" Zamp commented. "And did you go into another business?"

  "Not yet," Meiselson replied, and then he smiled. "The fact is," headded in a burst of confidence, "my wife is a dressmaker."