The Evil Pumpkin Pie Fight!

by Jaden Kent

  The witch fell over backward from his weight. Owen landed on top of her. “OOF,” she oofed.

  “You’re not really zombies!” the witch said.

  5

  WARTY WART HAG FACE

  “Aw, dragon scales! How’d you know that we weren’t zombies?” Ella asked, shocked. “Did you cast some powerful magic spell?”

  “Didn’t need to. Even the worst zombie knows the difference between a turnip and a brain. And the last time I checked, zombies don’t have tails.” The witch pointed to Ella’s and Owen’s tails sticking out from under their disguises.

  “Oops,” Ella said. Her green cheeks turned red with embarrassment. “I’m Ella and this is my brother, Owen.”

  “My name is Rainbow Sparkles,” the witch said. “Why did you come to my cottage?”

  “I thought witches were named stuff like Warty Wart Hag Face and Hairy Wart Hag Face and Warty Hairy Warty Wart . . . Hag Face,” Owen said.

  “You read too many books, kid,” Rainbow Sparkles replied. “Now tell me why you’re here or I’ll turn you into puppies!”

  “NOOOOOOO! Not that! Wait . . . puppies?” Owen said.

  “Yeah. All the other witches turn people into toads and newts. BOR-ING! It is so hard to find a witch with any imagination!” Rainbow Sparkles complained, then proudly added, “I’m the only one doing cute puppies.”

  “Tell her why we’re here,” Owen whispered to Ella.

  “And get turned into a puppy? No way!” Ella whispered back.

  “Okay, I’ll do it,” Owen said. “But just think about how mad Mom and Dad will be when they find out you let some witch named Raincloud Popsicle or whatever turn me into a little dog.”

  “Dragon drool! I’d rather be a puppy!” Ella said and faced Rainbow Sparkles. “The Pumpkin King sent us here to get his body back. He said you, um, kinda . . . uh . . . sorta . . . stole it?”

  Ella closed her eyes, folded her wings into her back, and got ready to be turned into a puppy.

  “Don’t worry, Sis. I promise to take you for a walk every day once you’re a puppy,” Owen whispered to Ella.

  “Or probably every other day.”

  “That’s a lie!” Rainbow Sparkles huffed. “I never stole anybody . . . or any body! The Pumpkin King’s body came to live with me because its pumpkin head was grumpy and mean! The pumpkin head was always forcing his body to make pies. Pies, pies, and pies! Nothing but pies!”

  “What’s wrong with pies?” Ella asked, slowly opening her eyes.

  “Nothing. But it’d be nice if he was allowed to bake a cake now and then! You know, just to mix things up,” Rainbow Sparkles said.

  “I have a question,” Owen said.

  “Yes?” Rainbow Sparkles replied.

  “Are you gonna turn my sister into a puppy or what?” Owen asked. “’Cause I wanna name her Ruff-Ruff Doggy-Doggy Bark Face!”

  Before Rainbow Sparkles could reply, the Pumpkin King’s headless body, which was stuffed with straw like a scarecrow, stumbled into the room. Without its pumpkin head, the body couldn’t see where it was walking and it bonked into the table, then a wall, then it walked into a closet before finding its way over to Rainbow Sparkles.

  “The Pumpkin King’s body wants to live with me because . . .” Rainbow Sparkles giggled and hugged the headless straw body. “We’re in love!”

  “You know what, Owen? This just got really weird,” Ella said.

  6

  PUMPKIN PIE PANDEMONIUM

  “We’ve got good news and bad news, o’ King,” Ella said to the Pumpkin King after they returned to his shack. Her tail nervously wagged behind her. “The bad news is . . . your body’s not coming back. But the good news is . . . you’re invited to a wedding!”

  The Pumpkin King’s orange head turned red with anger! “NOT COMING BACK?!” he shouted. Pumpkin seeds shot from his mouth. “Grab all the pumpkin pies you can carry and follow me!”

  The Pumpkin King hopped out to his garden and commanded, “Pumpkin army! Time to battle the witch!”

  “But we’re not fully grown yet, your royal orangeness,” one of the softball-sized pumpkins said in a squeaky voice. “But we are cuuuuuute.”

  “Um, like, maybe if you could come back in a month or so, we’d be, like, totally big?” a second pumpkin squeaked.

  “I can’t wait a month! If you’re big enough to carry a pie, you’re big enough to fight a witch!” the Pumpkin King responded as he bounced away from the swamp shack.

  “Can’t argue with that logic,” Owen said to Ella.

  Dozens of small pumpkins broke from their vines. Some were round and some were oblong. Some had lumps while others had bumps. They hopped along after the Pumpkin King like a mess of orange bouncing balls.

  Ella and Owen fluttered along after the pumpkins, doing their best to carry the teetering towers of pumpkin pies they held in their clawed hands.

  “Why are we helping him?” Owen asked. “He’s kinda nuts.”

  “He’s not kinda nuts. He’s completely nuts,” Ella replied. “But we’ve gotta get the Pumpkin King’s map so we can get out of Terror Swamp. Just play along until we think of a plan.”

  Once they reached Rainbow Sparkles’s cottage, the Pumpkin King ordered Owen and Ella to place a pie atop each of his pumpkin soldiers’ heads.

  “Are you gonna invite the witch to a picnic?” Owen asked.

  “Yes. A picnic of dooooooom!” The Pumpkin King laughed.

  “Maybe it’d be better if you just made her a sandwich?” Ella said.

  “I’m in charge of the picnic—I mean battle—not you!” the Pumpkin King answered. “Launch the sandwiches—I mean pies—my pumpkin army!”

  The pumpkins hopped off the ground and launched the pumpkin pies from their heads.

  The pies hit Rainbow Sparkles’s cottage and splattered ooey, gooey pumpkin pie filling everywhere, covering the entire building.

  “I’ll get you for that, you grumpy ol’ pumpkin head!” Rainbow Sparkles shouted as she ran from her cottage with the Pumpkin King’s body beside her. She waved her wand and conjured up her own swarm of floating apple pies, which she then sent flying toward the Pumpkin King and his army.

  Ella dove to her left to avoid being hit, but Owen wasn’t fast enough and an apple pie hit him square in the snout.

  “This is the tastiest battle I’ve ever seen!” he said merrily, licking the pie from his face. “I hope someone starts throwing some creamy worm pies, too!”

  Each side threw pie after pie at the other as chaos broke out. Rainbow Sparkles conjured up more pies out of thin air and threw them at the pumpkin army. Even the Pumpkin King’s body was throwing pies but, as it didn’t have eyes, only managed to throw them into some bushes.

  “I know how we can stop this pie fight!” Ella said, dodging an apple pie.

  “With an army of annoyed bananas?” Owen said.

  “No! With a spider!” Ella replied and grabbed two pies. “Follow me!”

  “Snails and tails! I’d rather try our luck with a whole mess of annoyed bananas.” Owen sighed but followed his sister anyway.

  7

  STICKY BUSINESS

  “Last chance to go find some annoyed bananas,” Owen said as they ran back to the spiderweb that had held them earlier. “Or how about a grumpy papaya?”

  “Nope. We stick with the plan,” Ella replied.

  “Is part of the plan getting eaten by a giant spider?” a nervous Owen asked.

  “Of course not,” Ella said.

  “Then we better start flying!” Owen shouted.

  “HiSSSSS!” the Vampire Tree Spider hissed as it spied the approaching dragons.

  The huge spider jumped up and tried to pluck Owen and Ella out of the air and into its slobbery mandibles.

  “Dragon wings, don’t fail me now!” Owen said and quickly zoomed away.

  Ella followed him, crushing up the pies in her hands and leaving a trail of pie crumbs behind her.

  The spider happily gob
bled up the bits of pie as it chased the two dragons.

  Ella and Owen flapped their wings as quickly as they could and barely stayed ahead of the scampering spider just below them.

  When they got back to Rainbow Sparkles’s cottage, both sides were still throwing pies at each other, but now Rainbow Sparkles was conjuring up doughnuts as well. The Pumpkin King’s pumpkin army was covered in pie filling, frosting, and doughnut sprinkles.

  “This battle is worse than getting ice beetles stuck in your scales!” Ella said.

  “I know! And it’s a total waste of dessert, too!” Owen added gloomily.

  But the appearance of the giant spider put an instant end to the battle. The spider spun a huge web, trapping Ella, Owen, the Pumpkin King, the pumpkin army, Rainbow Sparkles, and the Pumpkin King’s body within it like flies.

  “Hey! One of your crazy plans worked again, Sis!” Owen said. “But now how’re we gonna stop the giant spider from eating us?”

  “I kinda, sorta, didn’t think about that part,” Ella confessed.

  The spider crept closer to Ella and Owen. Spider drool dripped onto Ella’s wings.

  “Wing warts! I hate spider drool!” Ella said.

  “You’d better hope spiders like chocolate doughnuts or we’re gonna be dragon-shaped spider snacks!” Owen flapped his wings as hard as he could and, despite being stuck in the web, managed to create a small breeze that blew a pile of doughnuts toward the spider. The spider sniffed them once, twice, then happily gobbled them up.

  But the Pumpkin King was even angrier than before. “Get me out of this web!” he shouted.

  “Don’t worry. I saved a jelly-filled one for you,” Owen assured him.

  “I don’t want a doughnut!” the Pumpkin King snarled, spitting pumpkin seeds from his mouth. “I. Want. My. BODY!”

  “Your body wants to stay with Rainbow Sparkles,” Ella explained.

  “That’s impossible!” the Pumpkin King huffed. “That witch cast a spell on my body. That’s the only way it would want to stay with her.”

  “I did no such thing!” Rainbow Sparkles protested.

  Despite the webbing that held them like glue, Rainbow Sparkles and the Pumpkin King’s body managed to reach out and hug each other.

  “We’re in love!” Rainbow Sparkles giggled.

  “Okay. This just got really weird,” the Pumpkin King said.

  8

  DING DONG, THE WITCH IS WED

  Even a grouchy old thing like the Pumpkin King knew no pumpkin army could ever defeat the power of love, so he agreed that his body could marry Rainbow Sparkles. Luckily the spider liked chocolate doughnuts more than dragons, pumpkins, and witches, so it freed everyone from its web . . . as long as they kept feeding it doughnuts.

  All the ghouls, banshees, ghosts, and goblins in Terror Swamp were invited to the wedding of Rainbow Sparkles and the Pumpkin King’s body. Some zombies even lumbered over all the way from Zombie Town to join in the festivities.

  Ella and Owen sat in the front row next to the now-less-grumpy-but-still-a-little-grumpy Pumpkin King, who wore a fancy top hat. The pumpkin army, dressed in matching tuxedoes, sang songs as Rainbow Sparkles, dressed in a wedding gown made of cobwebs, walked down the aisle with dead, black flowers hanging from a broomstick.

  “Braaaaains . . .” a zombie in a ripped and dirty dress sitting next to Owen said.

  “Sorry. Dinner’s not until after the ceremony,” Owen replied.

  The ghostly specter from the graveyard floated over to the front of the gathering. “Dearly beloved . . . and dearly deceased, cursed, headless, haunted, and undead,” he groaned loudly. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Rainbow Sparkles the witch and the Pumpkin King’s body, who wishes to be called Headless Joe.”

  “Bwaaaaaaaa!” the Pumpkin King blubbered. “I always cry at weddings. Especially when it’s my body getting married.”

  Ella gently wiped away the Pumpkin King’s tears. “We don’t want you getting all moldy before they cut the wedding cake,” she said.

  Rainbow Sparkles and Headless Joe exchanged their rings, although Headless Joe, being unable to see because he had no head, stuck Rainbow Sparkles’s ring on the end of her pointed nose.

  “I now pronounce you witch and headless-body-stuffed-with-straw!” the ghostly specter announced with a groan.

  Rainbow Sparkles and Headless Joe walked back down the aisle as their guests threw handfuls of beetles at them.

  “This is easily the strangest wedding I’ve ever been to,” Ella whispered to her brother.

  “I know!” Owen agreed. “I can’t wait to see how they celebrate birthdays!”

  9

  THE PARTY’S OVER

  The wedding was over and the guests had all floated or lumbered home . . . or crawled back into the nearest grave.

  “I can’t thank you enough!” Rainbow Sparkles said to Ella and Owen. “None of this would’ve happened without your help.”

  “You know, if a kooky witch and a dude named Headless Joe can’t find love in the nightmarish Terror Swamp, what hope do the rest of us have?” Owen said.

  “You dragons kept your part of our deal,” the Pumpkin King said. “It’s not your fault my body wants someone else.” He handed Owen a map that would lead them out of Terror Swamp.

  “Thanks, Pumpkin King!” Owen replied.

  “So, no more pie fights for you?” Ella asked.

  “No. I never knew my pumpkin army was so talented until I heard them sing at the ceremony,” the Pumpkin King explained. “So we’re starting a singing group!”

  “LAAAAAAAAAAA!” the former pumpkin army sang in unison.

  “We call ourselves the Smashing Pumpkins Pie,” the Pumpkin King said proudly.

  “Before we go, Owen and I want to give you guys some gifts, too,” Ella said.

  Ella put her fingers to her mouth, gave a loud whistle, and the giant Vampire Tree Spider drifted down from overhead, still eating chocolate doughnuts.

  “We had the spider make you a new body!” Owen said to the Pumpkin King.

  The spider held out a fancy new body woven from spider silk. Ella gently lifted the Pumpkin King and placed him atop the silky body.

  “Thank you! It is so nice to have hands again!” The Pumpkin King scratched an itchy spot on the back of his lumpy head.

  Owen handed Rainbow Sparkles a book. “And here’s something for you and Headless Joe.”

  “A cake cookbook! I love it!” Rainbow Sparkles said. “Dear! Look what Ella and Owen got us!”

  Rainbow Sparkles showed the cookbook to Headless Joe . . . who promptly walked into a tree.

  “I’ll just show it to him later,” Rainbow Sparkles said.

  With everyone happy, Owen and Ella said their final goodbyes and set off toward home. But little did they know that the two trolls, Dumberdoor and Dumbdalf, had not given up on their search for Ella and Owen and were in fact hiding behind some trees just down the trail from where the dragons were.

  “Get the stew pot ready! Here come them two now!” Dumberdoor said.

  “Us is gonna have a yummy dragon dinner tonight!” Dumbdalf replied as Ella and Owen made their way ever closer to the two hidden trolls. . . .

  Read on for a sneak peek from the fifth book in the Ella and Owen series!

  1

  STUCK ON YOU

  Ella and Owen ran through the forest. Their clawed feet crackled on the dried leaves scattered on the ground.

  The Pumpkin King had kept his word. In return for Ella’s and Owen’s help in ending his feud with the witch Rainbow Sparkles, the Pumpkin King gave them a map that would take them out of Terror Swamp and back home to Dragon Patch.

  “I think I should look at the map because I read a lot more than you do,” Owen explained and grabbed the map from his sister with his claws.

  “But I’m holding it!” Ella said. She pulled it away from Owen.

  RiP! The map tore in half.

  “Now you’ve done it,” Ella
accused.

  “I should be the one to put it back together,” Owen said. “I’m good at puzzles.”

  “No, I should put it back together because you ripped it apart,” Ella replied. She grabbed for the two halves of the map with her claws.

  RiP!

  The halves of the map tore in half. The map was now in four pieces.

  Ella and Owen looked at the pieces. “This is all YOUR fault!” they said to each other.

  “I think we should stop,” Owen suggested. “My dragon math powers aren’t strong enough to figure out what half of a half of a half of a map is if we tear it again. I’ll put it back together.” Owen reached for a sticky, slicky slug from the leaf of a nearby prickly stickly tree.

  “Gross! Tell me you’re not going to eat that,” Ella said.

  “Not this time. Watch.” Owen slid the slug along the edges of the map fragments. Its pasty slime was sticky like glue and Owen got to work connecting the map pieces together.

  “This piece goes here and that one goes there and—argh! Oops,” Owen said. “I think I glued a piece of the map to myself.”

  A square of the map was stuck to Owen’s scaly belly. Ella grabbed it and pulled.

  “OWWW!” Owen yelped. “It’s really stuck! That slug slime is really sticky!”

  Ella pulled harder. Owen stumbled forward into his sister and their bellies smacked together and got stuck.

  Together, they rolled down the path, crashed into a tree stump, and flew into the air.

  Map pieces scattered as the dragons plopped to the ground and split apart, landing right at the feet of Dumbdalf the troll.