Shades of Sydney (Sydney West #1)

by Brittney Coon

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, body blocking him from entering.

  “Is this our routine now?” He smiled, turning my legs to jelly.

  “What? We don’t have a routine.” My voice sounded annoyed and I was glad.

  His face had no emotion, but his eyes were bright. He wanted to play head games. “Well, so far, you always body block me when I come over and then finally let me in.”

  It was my turn to smile. “That’s because Amelia makes me surrender. She isn’t here.”

  “I think I could give you a good reason to let me in.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “How so?”

  “You’ll see.” He pushed by me. “First I have to see if you really want it.”

  Turning around with my arms at my sides, I did my best pissed off look. “So you burst in here? What is it?”

  “Just answer some questions.”

  I ran a hand over my face. “Why? Does it look like I have time to kill?”

  He looked around, taking in my bikini and wet, messy hair. “Yeah, it kinda does.”

  I tugged on a piece of hair. “Fine, you have ten minutes to make your case.”

  Jason sat at my kitchen table, making himself at home. He made a sweeping motion with his arm, inviting me to join him.

  I sat down across from him. “Just get it over with.”

  “Who is your favorite singer?”

  I looked at him for a long time. “Didn’t we already talk about this? It’s Emile Autumn.”

  He nodded. “But you never told me why. Explain to me why you like her.”

  “Umm…She seems like a down-to-earth person. All she wants is her fans to know it’s okay to be themselves and not a product of this ugly society we live in. She wants women to be empowered, equal. She believes the people placed in so-called asylums are not crazy, but misunderstood. Her book is raw and real. I could go on…”

  He smiled, touching my hand. “No need, you passed my little test.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “By passing the test, you may now see what I came to give you.”

  Part of me was excited, the other half suspicious. The second half spoke to Jason. “What if I don’t want whatever you’ve got?” I challenged.

  To my surprise, the sparkle in his eyes darkened. There was no response, at least in words. Instead he grabbed a white envelope from his back pocket and tossed it on the table, nodding for me to open it.

  Honestly, I was leery about seeing the contents inside. Taking the envelope in my hands, I opened it carefully. Jason sat there and watched me, waiting for some kind of reaction.

  Inside were two hard pieces of paper in the shape of a rectangle. I’ve seen enough shapes like that to know they were concert tickets. I took them out and read the artist’s name printed on their faces. When I saw the name, I dropped the tickets and sat in shock, frozen inside myself.

  “Well?” Jason asked, sounding pleased.

  It was hard to breathe. The room felt like it was spinning. “Y-you got me Emilie Autumn tickets?”

  He sat like a proud cat. “Yup.”

  “Wow, too bad Amelia doesn’t like EA.”

  He looked alarmed. “Wait, what? I’m going with you.”

  I bit my lip. “You are?”

  “Ahh, yeah. I don’t give girls two tickets. How would I…never mind.”

  I laughed. “Makes sense. Didn’t think you were into her.”

  “I like some of her songs.”

  “Just the ones you found online?”

  “Correct.”

  “I can fix that. After all, we have,” I looked down at the tickets, “three days to pump you full of EA.”

  He groaned. “Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?”

  I laughed, pulling him out of the kitchen. “This is going to be fun. You’ll know so much, it will hurt.”

  “I bet,” he replied, but managed to look satisfied.

  “You’re awesome.” I kissed him and blushed. “You wait down here while I put on some clothes and then Emilie Autumn 411 will begin.”

  “Can’t wait,” he said, sounding sincere.

  I raced into my room and tugged on a pair of jean shorts and a loose white blouse. “Come on up!” I shouted down to Jason.

  He came in, giving me a smile that made my heart turn to goo. I didn’t care that people weren’t supposed to be in my room. I was going to see Emilie Autumn live and it had to go perfectly. If that meant flooding Jason’s brain with her lyrics for the next three days, bring it on. I was so excited I could’ve died of an overdose of pure joy. If I was this happy with tickets, would I survive the show?

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  My joy escaped from every pore and bubbled out of me when I spoke. I was too damn happy. As we walked to the venue, I wanted to break out in a run past the people and cars and be in front of the stage, waiting.

  “Calm down, Syd. There’s no race. I won’t let anyone steal your seat.”

  I smiled, linking my arm with his. “I can’t believe how happy I am. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my entire life.”

  He chuckled. “I’m glad you’re happy, but we have an hour to kill before they let us into the place.”

  I felt my heart sink. “Why are we here so early?”

  He made a noise that sounded like a laugh. “You had to be here, rushing us through dinner and everything. We probably broke three traffic laws getting here.”

  My cheeks burned at the memory. “I know, couldn’t stand the thought of missing something. So what do you want to do?”

  “The radio stations are here. Let’s see what they are up to.”

  We went around to the different booths. Most radio stations were giving away keychains and having drawings for future concerts. Jason and I entered the ones that were for artists we enjoyed. We entered all the same contests except one.

  Finally, we were allowed inside. After being pat down by a female security officer, having my purse looked through, and my ticket scanned, I was in. Jason was right behind me.

  Jason started to say something to me when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the souvenir table. There wasn’t a huge crowd there yet, but it was building. I grabbed Jason and towed him with me. I pushed my way up front and bought Jason and me matching t-shirts. He wasn’t amused, but he did wear it. I bought a few little things and was onto the next mission—drinks.

  We stood front row with our warm, overpriced beers in hand. I was on such a high, I didn’t even care.

  ***

  Amps vibrated the floor and air around me. The room smelled a little like vanilla. I was in love with the show. The entire thing was perfect. Emilie was known for making her concert more of a theatre experience and she did not disappoint. Her burlesque dancers were dressed in striped stockings and short dresses. During one of my favorite songs, I grabbed Jason’s hand and squeezed. He squeezed back. There was a hint of a smile on his lips.

  Jason enjoyed it too. At one point, he stood behind me so he could wrap his arms around my torso. I stayed in his embrace during the slower songs, but when Emilie brought the heat, I had to jump up and down, screaming. Jason chuckled and went back to standing at my side.

  ***

  “That was incredible!” I screamed in Jason’s Jeep as we drove home.

  Jason tilted his head. “What? I can’t hear a damn thing.”

  I laughed. The ringing in my ears wouldn’t stop. “We’ve gone deaf!”

  It was the dead of night. The longer we were on the Pacific Highway, the fewer cars we passed. We were away from the city, and all the stars came out to play.

  “Look, there’s Leo,” I said, pointing out my window to the sky.

  “I’m driving, and who’s Leo?”

  I scanned the sky for more star patterns I knew. “He’s the lion constellation.”

  “Oh, right. I knew that.”

  “Mmm-hmm,” I said, still studying the sky.

  A moment of silence passed.

  “Th
at concert was the best thing ever!” I cheered, floating back to my memory.

  “You owe me big time for it then,” Jason said, giving me a wink.

  I turned to him and squeezed his knee. My face hurt from smiling. “Baby, I’m going to rock your world tonight. It’s going to be the wildest sex you’ve ever had.”

  He gave me a heated look, making my stomach clench. “Yeah?”

  I licked my lips. “Yeah.”

  Jason ran two red lights and a stop sign by the time he pulled into my driveway. As soon as we entered the house, we raced into the bedroom and shed our clothes before crawling into bed.

  He pinned me on my back and spread my legs with his knee.

  I looked up at him and wiggled out of his embrace. “No, I’m going to rock your world and I’m not going to do it on my back.”

  The look on his face was priceless, a mix of alarm, curiosity, and lust. Everything in the world felt right as I placed my hand on his chest and ran my fingers along the line of hair that led all the way down. He fell back against the pillows. I sat on top of him, each of my knees rested by one of his hips.

  His hands ran down my spine as I bent forward to seal our lips. Tingles of pleasure shot through me. My heart raced, breaking its icy cage. My nipples brushed the soft hairs on his chest, making them feel like live wires. I slid a condom onto his shaft and kissed my way up to his lips. I rode him like a ride at the fair and didn’t stop until we couldn’t take a breath.

  When my vision went hazy, I collapsed next to him. Jason folded me into his arms. His chest was damp with sweat. I closed my eyes. Jason kissed the crown of my head and wrapped a leg around my waist. I drifted to sleep, feeling satisfied.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Someone’s snoring forced me from sleep’s embrace. Blinking my eyes, I found myself in a pair of arms. They were toned, firm, and warm. I shot up like a bullet. They belonged to Jason.

  We broke the cardinal rule in my little book, having sex in my bed. My stomach twisted itself into a tight knot.

  Why didn’t he go? I couldn’t run away from my room, but he could, so why didn’t he disappear while I was sleeping?

  I pushed his shoulder hard, waking him up. “Why are you still here?”

  He squinted at me. “I’m sleeping…” Awareness crossed his face. He sat up and stretched his arms over his head. “So, this is what it’s like to wake up next to you. I get punched in the shoulder while sleeping. Good to know.”

  My heart fell, lost in the pretzel of my stomach. “Get out! Just get out!”

  Jason ran a hand through his sleep tossed hair. “No.”

  He was in my personal bubble…again. How did he keep finding ways into my most intimate places? It felt like he was slowly turning me inside out.

  I was going to fight, push him away, but something stopped me. The voice in my head told me to wait. There was more to the story. My gut warned me if I forced Jason out now, I’d regret it. I didn’t know how or why, but I knew that one day I would deplore it with all my being and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

  I sighed. “I need some coffee.” Jason watched me as I wrapped my silk robe around myself. “Are you just going to sit there?”

  He rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand. “I’m kind of in shock. I thought you were kicking me out of the house.”

  My heart clawed at my ribcage. Jason was the only guy who’d ever slept in my bed. He was breaking me. I had to keep it together and force myself to stand straighter. I had to pretend I was indifferent about him staying or going.

  “I was.”

  “Why the change of heart?” He looked down at my bed, then at me. The look on his face told me he remembered my rules. “Freaking out because of your ground rules?” He gave me a cocky smile.

  I wanted to hit him and kiss that stupid mouth. God, I needed help.

  A weight dropped inside me. All my organs felt like pudding. I shrugged, not wanting to get into it. I had to save face. He couldn’t see through me yet. I wasn’t glass. I was more like hazy ice.

  I bit my lip, thinking of a good comeback. Nothing came to mind. “Let’s say I’m experimenting, turning over a new leaf,” I finally said.

  He gave me a look, not buying my excuse, but knew not to dig further. “I can roll with that,” he said, pushing himself out of my bed.

  Not even a whole pot of coffee was going to erase the image of a sleeping Jason in my bed. And we had sex in that bed. I was going to have to wash those sheets. Why did I break my own rule? I racked my brain, but couldn’t think of anything, except I was insanely happy after that concert and felt like I needed to share the joy.

  As I drained one cup and poured another, Jason came down the stairs and sat at the island. He was dressed in wrinkled clothes from last night. There were fold lines imprinted on his cheek from the pillow. I walked over and planted my ass on the counter top.

  Jason got up and went to the coffee pot. “We should get to know each other better,” he said, getting a mug and filling it. He put two cubes of sugar and a ton of cream into his mug. To me, that meant he was either a sweet guy or couldn’t stomach strong coffee.

  As I sipped my rich, black coffee, I thought about his proposal. “Why?”

  He stirred his coffee with a spoon from the drawer. “Just thought we should know more. Seems like Amelia and Hunter know everything about each other and they talk about us too.”

  That’s because they’re a couple! I wanted to shout, but it wouldn’t have helped anything. The enigma of my summer was that my best friend entered a serious relationship and that meant Jason was going to hang around to be with his best friend.

  “You go first, since it was your idea.”

  Jason sat down at the island again. “I’ll go first, but you have to promise not to clam up when I’m finished.”

  I nodded, then took a sip of coffee, swallowing hard.

  His face was blank, but those eyes were intense. “I need to hear you say the words.”

  Sighing heavily, I said, “I’ll spill a part of my soul to you in exchange for some of yours.”

  He smiled, happy with my answer. “Let me think…I grew up in the City of Angels and moved to Malibu when I was ten. My two older cousins were both football players who liked to bang all the cheerleaders—all except my sister, of course. I’m more of a surfer dude who seeks out a girl who will be more than just a fling.”

  I took a long sip of coffee. Was that why he wasn’t giving up on me? He didn’t like the idea of having a fling, so he was going to make me more than that? Or could he possibly truly like me?

  Jason continued. “My parents liked to fight with each other every so often. When they did, I’d go out and surf. It was a great way to clear my head. It sucked when it was too cold or rough to ride, though.”

  “What would you do then?”

  “I’d go to the arcade and play the games. I loved beating all the high scores.”

  I could see him in an arcade surrounded by video games from the 80s teaching anyone who was nearby how to play. Just thinking of it made me smile.

  “I’ve had a few good friends. My motto has always been, ‘have close friends, not a herd of strangers.’ Had a few relationships too. Most ended mutually, but one ended with my heart being ripped out.”

  Jason’s face was smooth as he talked, but when he mentioned having his heart broken, he closed his eyes. The pain was still there, buried inside.

  He was being deep and real, telling me highlights of his life that made him who he was, both the light and dark sides. It was like getting a quick background check.

  “How’d she break your heart?” The words tumbled out. My sensors sucked.

  He looked down at his coffee. “She cheated on me with an old close friend of mine. Took a lot of time to get over their betrayal.”

  My heart pinged. “You can’t fully recover from that. Hence why I don’t believe in love.”

  He looked me dead in the eye. “Don’t believe in love? I think you just
say that because you’re afraid of being hurt.”

  I wasn’t replying to that. “Love is a myth, something the Greeks and Romans invented thousands of years ago. You know the saying, ‘after you repeat a lie long enough, it becomes the truth.’”

  His eyebrows stitched together. “Where are you getting your facts?”

  “I watch the History Channel, the ID channel, learned way too much in my sociology class, and I have many theories of my own.”

  He shook his head. “Right, your sociology class. That’s the problem.”

  I tilted my head, confused. “Why?”

  “It’s the study of people, but it can never be accurate. People come in many different flavors. Not one person is like another. Their facts are always off somehow.”

  I rolled my eyes. “From what I have learned, it hits the nail on the head.”

  “Share with the class then,” he said, sweeping his arm through the air as if acting like my kitchen was a classroom. “Prove your wisdom, oh Wise One.”

  I ignored his mocking tone. “American families truly press the gender roles and it creates violence against women, makes women seem lower than men. Men like to still make women feel they need to take care of the children and work in the home. In marriage, she takes his last name. That’s control right there. Another example is the priest saying ‘man and wife,’ yet another form of ownership. Sorry, but I’m not going to be owned by some selfish man who will most likely cheat because he can’t keep his pants on.”

  Jason looked taken aback. “Now that was some rant.”

  I focused on the black liquid in my mug. “It’s facts. Just the tip of the iceberg about what I’ve learned. That was all from one chapter, too.”

  He cupped his mug close to his chest. “Impressive, you memorized your textbook. Most people use it as a makeshift pillow.”

  My coffee burned my hands. I took a sip and said, “I like to know what’s going on in the world. It’s idiotic to walk around not knowing how the world works. I know how it functions.”