by Anna Antonia
Marriage. Trying but failing to play it cool, I nonchalantly said, “Okay then. What now?”
“What now? Hmm…want to get something to eat?”
Of course, it would be food. Gabriel loved to eat more than anybody I’d ever known. How he kept so damned trim had to be the result of spectacular genetics.
“Sure. What do you have in mind?”
“Hmm, how about Sonic? We can drive up, stay in, and engorge ourselves in greasy food and ice cream. It would be the best, don’t you think?”
Even though my appetite had yet to return, how could I deny him anything? “Anything you want, Gabriel.”
“Ooh, no take-backsies on that, Emma. I heard it!” I giggled and then coughed. Concern immediately replaced his humor. “Baby, you’re cold out here.”
“No, I’m fine. Really.”
“Fine. Fine. Fine. Absolutely unacceptable. You’re going to get sick, Emma, and I just won’t have that. Not when I’ve found you again.” Gabriel picked me up easily. “I shouldn’t have kept you out this long. Off we go.”
“Gabriel, I can walk.”
“And have you ruin my ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’ moment? Not a chance!” Humming the theme song from the movie, he climbed the steps easily, not even a ragged break in breathing to betray him. I envied his cardiovascular dominance. Less than a minute later and we were back in the parking lot and heading towards an unfamiliar sedan parked next to mine.
“Is that your rental?”
“Something like that.”
Although it wasn’t flashy enough for my lover, I couldn’t help but ask, “Gabriel, you didn’t buy another car, did you?”
“Nope. Not enough time. The delivery time for a Ferrari just wasn’t going to fit in my go-find-Emma schedule.” He set me on my feet and then kneeled down. His hands smoothed over my legs gently, working to banish the cold from my skin and warm me up. “Love the shorts, Emma. They show off your yummy legs so nicely.”
“Thank you.”
He flashed me a smirk. “So polite.”
“I try.”
Gabriel kissed the inside of my thigh. “I love that about you.”
My fingers danced along the golden strands on his head. “And I love everything about you.”
“I can’t deny that you do have impeccable taste, my dear. Tell me more, won’t you? No? All right. Save it for later.”
Ruffling his hair, I couldn’t contain my grin over his antics. “I meant to ask you earlier. How did you even know I was here?”
His answer was a bit slow in coming. “I had help.”
My hand fell away. Gabriel immediately stopped rubbing my legs. He looked up and waited for me to ask, “My security never left, did they?”
“No. Sorry, baby. You had to know that though, right?”
“I figured as much.” Looking around, I tried to spot them. “I just didn’t want to think too much about it.”
Gabriel smiled and stood up. “I sent them back to their hotel after I got here. I doubt anyone’s going to try to kidnap you in town so I gave them the night off.”
It was strange to think of my security just sitting around and watching me as I broke down my life into neat little boxes before running home to my mom. I guessed they were usually bored out of their mind so my actions of the last few days had probably provided a sliver of interest.
Unless they thought me a spoiled brat who was making their boss’s life unnecessarily harder, then they probably resented the extra work I created for them.
I’m really never going to get used to being watched like this. The break is nice for both of us.
“It’s just you and me then.”
“Yep. Just us, my girl.”
“That’s good. I’d hate for them to have seen me crying my eyes out like a deranged baby.”
He tugged me to him by the waistband of my shorts. “Me too. Only I can see you cry and I’m rather greedy about keeping it that way.”
This was deliciously familiar. “You have a fetish for my tears, don’t you?”
“Mmm, I have a fetish for anything related to you.”
Another shiver whisked right through me. “So your car or mine?”
“Mine. For sure.” Gabriel’s palm settled on my hip. “I don’t want to let you out of my sight for a long, long time beautiful girl.”
“Okay,” I whispered, still unable to believe that I’d gotten so far only to end up right back where I always wanted to be—by his side. “I’ll need to drop my car off back at my mom’s.”
“Later. It’ll be safe here.”
“How do you know it won’t get towed?”
“Because I know everything. Now let’s go and get stuffed.”
“Stuffed you say?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Not like that, dirty girl. That happens later.”
I couldn’t wait.
ELEVEN
“Here you go. Enjoy your meal.”
“Thanks.” Gabriel handed me my bag of food, making sure I had everything before seeing to his own cornucopia of fried goodies.
I looked into my bulging brown bag with eager anticipation. “Do you think we can really eat all of this?”
“We’re going to try,” he answered with a saucy wink. “I don’t know about you, but I haven’t eaten much of anything in the last couple of days. I’m starving, baby.”
“I know the feeling. My mom forced me to eat a little bit. Otherwise I’d be in the same boat as you.”
“Aren’t mothers wonderful, Emma?”
The radio was on an oldies station, perfectly matching the mood of the drive-in. Hunger smashed me, edging out my exhaustion in favor of crispy fries, a juicy burger, creamy ice cream, and throat-peeling soda. I spread several napkins across my lap to try to contain the eventual mess.
“Don’t worry about the crumbs, Emma, since it’s a rental.” Gabriel tossed a fry in the backseat to prove his point. I said his name in reproach. He did it again. “What? I’m just saying, baby. You don’t have to worry about being squeaky-clean tonight. Just eat.”
“But someone has to clean that, you know.”
He looked at me a second longer before sighing. Gabriel set his food on the dash and secured his drink and ice cream in the cup holder before getting out. The back door opened and then he was in the back picking up the fries.
“You’re my conscience. My living, breathing conscience. I shudder to think of the evil I’d commit without you around, my love.”
I felt a bit abashed for being overly serious and preachy as usual. “Sorry.” I threw a fry in the back. “I’m being way too uptight.”
“Emma! Someone has to clean that. And that someone is me.” Gabriel picked up my rogue fry and got out. I watched him toss it on the grass in front. “For the birds,” he explained when getting back into the car.
Was this man real? Or was he a figment of my imagination? Gabriel was so incredibly kind in everything. I couldn’t help but love him more and more each day.
He caught me staring at him. I was sure my sappiness melted into my goofy grin and love struck eyes. “You’re such a sweetie, Gabriel.”
“Like a bowl of chocolate.”
Our issues were on pause. We ate in companionable silence, sharing bites of food with the other before moving onto our ice cream.
“What happens now, Gabriel?” I eventually asked after licking my spoon clean.
He took a large bite of his treat, eyes half-closed in bliss. “Hmm?”
I wondered if I was about to ruin Gabriel’s joy. I felt more than a prickling of guilt because I’d rather ignore it all and pretend nothing mattered more than eating ice cream.
Here goes nothing.
“I’m supposed to be going to Paris.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“No. I mean, I bought airplane tickets the other day.”
Gabriel stopped eating. Shock shot across his face. “What? For when?”
“Tomorrow night actually.”
“But I thought that tr
ip was a month or so away.”
“It was. I moved it up.”
“I see.” He paused, frowning thoughtfully as he looked at me. “Tomorrow night?”
“Yes.”
Gabriel put his ice cream down and turned fully towards me. “I was that close to missing you then.”
I didn’t know what to say so I murmured, “I guess.”
He let out a long breath and leaned back in his seat. “Well, my Emma, it’s obvious what happens next.”
“What?” I expected him to ask me to stay. Perhaps demand it along with a proposition of being his personal muse again. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to resist it this time.
“You’re still going to go and have a lovely time.”
I didn’t expect that particular answer. “You don’t mind?”
Gabriel shot me a sour glare. “Hell yes I mind! But I’ll be joining you in a couple of days so I’ll just have to pout stateside.”
“You’re going there too?” I couldn’t contain my goofy grin.
“Don’t sound so surprised. Of course, I’m going. You can’t see the romance of Paris without the man who loves you most in the world, Emma. It’s against the rules, don’t you know?”
“But what about work? I’m sure you have a ton of tasks that need your attention. You can’t ditch work to go on a last-minute trip, can you?”
Now I sounded like my mother.
Gabriel waved my questions away like bothersome gnats. “It’ll still be there when we get back. I can work from the hotel if I need to.”
Instead of accepting my good fortune I was annoyingly full of questions. “And Rick? Will he be coming along to tour the Louvre too?”
Gabriel raised a brow and declared haughtily, “I can survive without my assistant, Emma. At least long enough to romance you in Paris. Besides, he can always hop on a plane if he needs to.”
I tossed my head back and laughed. “All right! Paris it is!” Impulsively, I reached out and hugged his arm. “This feels so good, Gabriel. I didn’t think I’d ever have this with you again.”
“Goody for you that I never lost faith.”
“Is that what it was? Faith?”
“I’ve always had faith, Emma. I had to have it in order to survive my life.”
My beautiful angel humbled me. “Gabriel…”
He put a hand up. “Don’t get weepy on me, Adams. Not over this.”
“Who says I’m getting weepy?”
Gabriel wiped the corner of my mouth with his thumb. “I can see it in your eyes, baby. You’re so softhearted when it comes to people like me. It’s the pain, you see. You know it. It’s the language you hear when interacting with the world. So you can’t help but hear me. Thank you for that, but it’s okay. I’m okay.”
Transfixed by his insight, it took a moment before I could speak. “You never fail to surprise me, Gabriel Gordon.”
“That goes for the two of us.”
I turned on my side to face him. “I love you, Gabriel. I really do.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“How much do you love me? Do you love me more than ice cream?”
“Definitely.”
“More than the food in your belly?”
“Way more.”
Gabriel’s smile dipped into something wonderfully fragile. “Do you love me more than your fear?”
I stilled, gaze wide and locked onto his. “I love you. I’ll only love you.”
“But…”
“No buts.” I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it. “I wish we could just stay here forever.”
“In town?”
“No, this car.”
“Why do you want to hide? Tell me, Emma.”
Our beautifully imperfect reunion came under threat as the reality of our situation came rushing back to the forefront again. Nothing really had changed. Lucas still hated me. Gabriel’s position was still under threat, more so now that I’d reunited with him. I was still the reason for him to lose everything that mattered to him.
“Moon River” played on the radio. Tears threatened to spill again and I knuckled them angrily. I didn’t know why I was so damned weepy lately, but maybe I was past due considering how many tears I refused to shed during my lifetime.
“Because I’m still afraid. I’m afraid of what your uncle will do, Gabriel.”
“He won’t be able to get close to you again. Not at your apartment, not anywhere.”
“You knew about that too, huh?”
Gabriel cut me a dark look. “Do you even have to ask?”
“That’s why you called while he was there. I should’ve known.”
“Yes, ma’am. You would’ve saved us so much time if you’d just picked up the phone. Next time—pick up the phone, my sweet Emma.”
A dry laugh tickled my throat. “I have something to confess.”
“Confess, huh? That sounds heavy.”
“I wasn’t very nice to Lucas. In fact, I threatened to kill your uncle.”
His eyebrows shot up and his mouth dropped open. “You didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.” I waited with bated breath to hear Gabriel’s reaction. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he got at least annoyed with me.
“Hmm. I should tell you that it was a bad thing you did…”
“But?”
“No buts. I’m shocked is all. Wow.” A devilish grin lit his face. “You have to tell me—what did Lucas do when you threatened him?”
“Not much. He wasn’t happy. He did say you didn’t know that side of me.”
“Shows what he knows,” Gabriel drawled. “I’ve known it from the first moment I saw you.”
I squinted, mind fuzzy as I tried to understand how he could’ve gotten that from our 10th grade classes. “I must’ve made a serious impression sitting there mute.”
Gabriel smirked and kissed my forehead. “One day I’ll tell you the story, Emma.”
“Why don’t you tell me now?”
“I’ll tell you in Paris. Promise.” He trailed his fingertips down my cheek and over my lips. “Now tell me more about your fear.”
Habit made me regret him circling back to that. But Gabriel was right—talking about things set me free. I didn’t want to keep being a slave to my fear. I wanted to only be Gabriel’s slave.
Don’t hold back. Be an open book.
“What do you want to know, Gabriel?” Although my tone was even and calm, my tummy tightened with discomfort.
“Are you afraid of me?”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“So you’re not afraid of what we do together?”
Mmm, if only he knew how much I craved to be naked with him whether we were being vanilla or not. Fear didn’t even come into it.
“No. Not even close.”
Gabriel’s sultry smile sizzled. “Naughty girl. If I pulled down your shorts I bet I’d find you’re wet right now.”
Absolutely. I parted my thighs and propped one foot on the dash. Touching the tip my tongue against my bottom lip, I murmured, “Sorry.” Of course, I wasn’t sorry except that we weren’t in a position to do any of the things that would make me naughty.
“As if I can’t read your mind, Emma…” He rubbed my thigh. “Later, yes?”
“Later definitely.”
His hand smacked my inner thigh. I moaned and arched my back. Gabriel sighed blissfully and did it again, obviously enjoying my reaction. “I’d rather we do more of this right now to be honest.”
“So why don’t we?” Gabriel was definitely making things warm from the waist down and not just on my thigh. “After all, this car counts as your space.”
“Yes, it does. Trying to distract me, Adams?”
“Is it succeeding, Gordon?”
“You know it is.” A mournful sigh drowned out the radio. “But…”
My mouth turned down in a pout when Gabriel let go of my thigh. “But?”
“But I want to know all about this pa
rticular fear, Emma, so I can help take it away. Talk to me.”
TWELVE
Confession was supposed to be good for the soul. I believed it in theory. Actually doing it was much harder.
“I’m not going to come off very well.”
“That’s okay. I rarely come off well when I share things with you. It’s called being human.”
I drew my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. “You know this is going to be hard for me. I don’t like being weak about anything. Ever.”
“But loving someone can make you feel weak sometimes, right?” Gabriel added softly.
“Yes, it does. And it makes me afraid.” My fingers curled into fists and my voice roughened. “I’m tired of always being afraid. It colors everything I see, Gabriel. It’s exhausting. I can’t see anything past it. And I want to.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
“I don’t know. I’m always afraid of what I’ll lose if I’m not careful.”
“And that’s why you did what you did. Again. You’re so afraid of losing me that you’d rather walk away first.”
“Yes, I was.”
“Was?” he asked with a teasing lilt.
“Okay. Maybe not was.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I still am.” I replayed my confession and cringed. “Do you still think I’m the bravest girl you know?”
“All the way, baby.”
I rested my forehead on my knees, hiding most of my face. “I don’t feel very brave right now. I feel like a chicken shit actually.”
“Emma?” Gabriel said my name in a gentle croon that instantly had me curling my toes in pleasure. “You do know why I like to play with you, don’t you?”
I peeked at him. “Because you’re a dirty, delicious man?”
“Well, of course, there is that…” Gabriel polished his nails on his lapel and then blew on them.
“Yes, there is.”
Our smiles faded together. “It’s not just that though, my love.” Gabriel reached out for my hand. Fingers entwined with mine, he said, “It’s another way of getting close to you, Emma. Every time I dominate you, every time I lay you across my lap, every time I spank you, every time I tie you up, all of it binds us closer.”
“I know. I always feel so close to you after our sessions.”
