Back to You

by Hunter J. Keane

  “Oh, so you were telling them lies?” Evan bent down to take off his boots. When he straightened, he flashed me an irresistible smile and a wink. “Any chance you’ve got some coffee over there?”

  “Pull up a chair.” I turned around to get a mug. After filling it, I took it over to him. “Careful, it’s strong.”

  “I remember,” he said with an intimate smile.

  Madison was watching us closely and it was making me nervous. “Kids, please go put your clothes on. I’ve already told you three times. Evan doesn’t have all day to wait for us.”

  “Fine,” Madison grumbled. She grabbed Tommy’s hand and pulled him out of his chair. “Let’s go, Tommy. Aunt Noelle wants to be alone with Evan.”

  “So they can kiss?” he asked.

  “Duh,” Madison replied.

  I could feel myself blushing as Evan laughed. When they had disappeared upstairs, Evan pulled me into his lap. “Smart kids,” he said before planting his lips on mine.

  “They live to embarrass me,” I replied, tangling my fingers in the hair at the back of his neck before kissing him again.

  “You taste good,” Evan said. “Sweet.”

  “That would be the syrup,” I replied. “If you’d shown up a little earlier, I could’ve impressed you with my cooking skills.”

  “You learned how to cook?” Evan gasped. “Has anyone checked to see if hell froze over?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You weren’t exactly a master chef either, Gray.”

  “I’m still not,” he said with a laugh. “I prefer to be the master of other skills.”

  “Watch it,” I hissed, pointing up. “Madison is like a Russian spy. She’s always listening.”

  Evan’s eyes narrowed. “I guess we should stick to doing something that doesn’t require us to talk.” His lips had just touched mine when footsteps thudded down the stairs.

  I sprang to my feet and wiped my lips as if that would eliminate any traces that Evan and I had been kissing. Tommy jumped the last two steps and grinned. “I’m ready.”

  “That is a fantastic outfit choice,” I said, noting the mismatched socks, and clashing pants and sweater. “That looks like something your dad would’ve worn.”

  “Really?” Tommy’s face lit up.

  “Definitely.” I smoothed down his messy hair which he hadn’t bothered to comb. He’d be wearing a hat anyway, so it wasn’t a battle worth fighting. “Get your coat and boots on.”

  Tommy skipped away with far more energy than I’d ever had. Madison came down a few minutes later, looking like a fashion model. I was sure she’d planned her outfit the moment that Evan had offered to take us skating.

  It only took a few minutes for all of us to add our outdoor layers and then we were headed outside. We had to take my car since the four of us wouldn’t fit in Evan’s truck. I tossed him the keys. “Your idea, you drive,” I said.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asked nervously. The kids were already scrambling into the backseat and he followed me to the passenger door.

  “I know that you know how to drive, Evan.” I stepped back as he reached across me to open the door.

  “Those are children in the back,” he whispered. “You trust me to drive children?”

  “Yes.” I laughed and brushed a hand over his side. “I trust you completely.”

  He sighed and nodded. “Alright.”

  It wasn’t until he pulled the car onto the main road that I saw just how nervous he really was. He was driving at least five miles below the speed limit and his knuckles were white on the steering wheel.

  “Why are we going so slow?” Tommy asked loudly.

  “Evan isn’t used to driving a car this cool,” I replied.

  He shot me a grateful look and it slowly occurred to me that I’d put him in an unfair position. Evan knew that my parents had died in a car accident and that I’d been with them when it happened. He remembered clearly how much I had hated riding in cars for a long time after that. Evan also knew that the kids had lost their parents in a car accident, but he didn’t know that the kids hadn’t been with their parents at the time. He didn’t know that they weren’t traumatized being in a car.

  “Hey,” I whispered, getting his attention. “You’re doing fine.”

  He offered me a small smile and it looked like his shoulders relaxed after that. Tommy launched into a running play-by-play of everything he could see out his window. By the time we reached the community center, Evan was back to his normal self.

  “I’m sorry,” I told him as we followed the kids to the rink. He was carrying the bag that held their skates over his shoulder with his own skates dangling in his hand. “I should’ve told you that the kids weren’t with David and Stephanie when it happened.”

  “That’s good,” Evan said. “I know how hard that was for you for a long time.”

  “Still is sometimes,” I admitted. “You know, as nervous as I was after the accident, I always felt safe with you.”

  Evan took my hand. “We’ll see if you still say that after today. When was the last time you tried to skate?”

  “Probably the last time you made me,” I admitted with a groan. “I’m going to break something, aren’t I?”

  “Are you kidding? I’d never let you fall.” Evan squeezed my hand and then let go just as Madison turned around.

  “Stop flirting with each other and come on!” she said.

  I sighed and Evan laughed. “She’s impossible,” I said.

  “She’s just like her aunt,” Evan corrected me. “She even looks like you did at that age.”

  “I know.” It was a fact that was hard to deny. While Tommy was a perfect copy of his father, my niece had inherited my hair color and complexion. Her eyes were even the same shade as mine. “She’s going to be prettier though. And she’s a lot smarter than I ever was.”

  “Stop fishing for a compliment, Sutton.” Evan put a hand on my lower back and guided me toward a bench. He dipped his head and lowered his voice so that only I could hear him. “You already know I think you are perfect.”

  “I need my skates,” Tommy said, tugging at my arm.

  I gave Evan an apologetic smile. It seemed unfair to let such a sweet comment linger without a response, but Tommy wasn’t concerned with my budding romance. “I think you are missing an important word there, Thomas David.”

  “Please?” Tommy sang out.

  “That’s better.” I pointed to the bench. “Take a seat and let Evan help you lace them up. He’s the expert.”

  “Did you play hockey in school?” Madison asked, taking a seat next to Tommy.

  Evan knelt in front of them and pulled out the skates while I helped Tommy out of his boots. “I did.”

  “Evan got a full scholarship to play hockey in college,” I informed them proudly. “He was a fantastic player.”

  “Why didn’t you play professionally?” Madison said.

  Evan glanced at me before turning his focus to lacing the skates. “I got injured my sophomore year. I took a bad hit and tore everything in my knee. By the time I recovered, I’d missed my chance.”

  “That stinks,” Tommy said, wrinkling his nose.

  “Yeah, it did.” Evan smiled at him. “But it turned out okay. I went to law school instead and got a good job.

  “When did you guys break up?” Madison asked me.

  I balked at the question. She was too young to know all the details. “When we were still in college.”

  “Why?” she pressed.

  “I don’t know. It just didn’t work out.” I handed her the skates I’d bought her. “I’m going to head over the rental shop to grab some skates. Don’t give Evan a hard time while I’m gone. Especially you, Mad.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me, a move I was sure she had learned from me. Rather than scold her, I headed inside to get my skates. We had arrived right when the rink opened, so it wasn’t very crowded but there were a few people in line ahead of me. I was grateful for the time away fro
m Madison’s interrogation. Evan and I had never really talked about his injury and what that had done to our relationship.

  Once I had my skates, I sat on a bench near the shop and put them on. Evan already had both kids on the ice and they all looked to be having a great time. Madison had skated a few times in her life and didn’t need the same attention that Tommy required. Evan was skating backward, holding Tommy’s tiny hands in his much larger hands.

  “He’s a natural,” a woman said from behind me.

  I turned. “He really is,” I said, smiling at Emily. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “My oldest has lessons in about an hour. We come early so the other kids can burn off some energy.” Emily pointed to a gaggle of kids on the ice. “Are you and Evan back together?”

  “Kind of,” I said. “We’re spending time together, seeing what happens.”

  “We all thought you would be the first ones to get married and have kids,” Emily said. “But that was a lot of pressure to put on two people who got together when they were thirteen.”

  Evan glanced up and caught me staring. “Quit stalling, Sutton! Get your cute butt out here and show us your moves.”

  “Ugh.” I blushed to the roots of my hair and Emily laughed. “He’s still just as annoying as ever.”

  “You love it,” Emily said correctly. “Get out there. We’ll catch up later.”

  “See ya around, Em.” I put one skate onto the ice and pushed off tentatively. When I didn’t fall on my butt immediately, I pushed again. I was feeling good about my progress until I got close to Evan and it was time to stop. My brain completely froze and I looked at Evan in panic.

  He understood immediately what was happening and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me to a stop. “You forgot the most important part,” he said with a laugh, holding me in his arms.

  “I don’t know, I think it worked out okay for me,” I replied.

  “For both of us,” he agreed, brushing my hair away from my face.

  “Where are the kids?” I looked around cautiously, afraid of making any sudden movements. I spotted Madison at the other end of the rink, talking to a group of girls her age.

  “Madison thinks adults are ‘lame,’ so she went off to find people her own age and Tommy is an incredibly fast learner. He’s already on his second lap.” Evan pointed to a blur of skates headed away from us. “He’s clearly a better skater than his aunt.”

  I waited until he turned back to me and pressed my lips firmly over his. “You never dated me for my skating prowess anyway,” I reminded him.

  “Truer words have never been spoken.” He returned my kiss and then pulled away slightly. “Come on. Let’s try to get you to a point where you at least aren’t embarrassing the kids.”

  “Good luck with that,” I said.

  Evan spent the next thirty minutes patiently teaching me the basics of not looking like an idiot on the ice. He spent a lot of that time catching me as I tripped over my own feet and the rest of the time laughing at me. It felt good to see him laugh so much, even if it was at my expense. When I made it three laps without falling, I decided to quit while I was ahead.

  Evan stayed on the ice with Tommy, teaching him some new skills and Madison joined me on the sidelines.

  “I see you already made some new friends,” I said as I untied my skates.

  “Maybe. Kara and Logan are super cool. They invited me to go to the movies with them later. Is that okay?” Madison looked nervous.

  “Did you happen to get their last names?” I asked. “I can’t let you go off with strangers, even if they are super cool.”

  Emily was standing nearby watching her kids and she said, “Kara is Taylor Green’s daughter.”

  “Taylor?” I groaned. “What are the odds?”

  “Who’s Taylor?” Madison asked.

  Emily came over and sat on the bench behind us. “Taylor was Evan Gray’s first girlfriend.”

  “Is she the girl from the Snow Ball?” Madison said quite loudly.

  “The one and only,” I replied grimly. “She was almost the reason Evan and I didn’t get together.”

  “You aren’t going to hold that against Kara, are you?” Madison looked annoyed.

  “No, of course not. Taylor and I ended up being friends years later.” I looked at Emily. “What about the other girl?”

  “You wouldn’t know her parents, but they are both good girls. They don’t shoplift or murder cats or anything.” Emily grinned. “Isn’t being a parent just the best? You get to tell your kids not to do all the same things that you did as a kid.”

  “I never shoplifted or murdered cats,” I said.

  “No, but you kissed boys,” Emily said with a wink. “And you lied about staying over at my place more than once.”

  Madison grinned, enjoying every minute of my public shaming. “Really? What were you actually doing, Aunt Noelle?”

  “Thanks, Em.” I glared at her. “I was with Evan.”

  “You were?” Madison’s eyes doubled in size. “Doing what?”

  “Nothing.” Madison gave me a doubtful look. I cleared my throat. “Your grandma didn’t like that Evan and I were so serious, so sometimes I lied and told her I was with Emily instead.”

  Evan was headed in our direction with Tommy right behind him. He was smiling and his cheeks were pink from the cold air. My heart did its usual flutter when he directed his smile at me. “Did I hear my name?”

  “Did you know that Aunt Noelle used to lie to her parents when she went out with you?” Madison asked.

  “I vaguely recall that,” Evan said, looking confused. “Why were you talking about that?”

  “Haven’t you heard? Evan Gray is our new favorite subject.” I gave him an extra sweet smile. “Probably because you’re so darn cute.”

  Tommy stomped over to me on his skates, ignoring the affectionate exchange that he was interrupting. “Aunt Noelle, I like Evan a lot better than Chris.”

  “Me too, kiddo,” I said.

  “He’s way more fun and he doesn’t act like I’m annoying,” Tommy continued. “I think you should marry him and then he can kind of be like my new dad. Or something.”

  The surge of emotion came on so suddenly that it took me by surprise. I swallowed hard and grabbed my skates. “I’ll be right back,” I said. “Stay with Evan, kids.”

  I took the skates inside and returned them at the counter. Then I went to the bench in the corner and dropped my head into my hands, letting the tears fall. My whole body was shaking when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

  “Elle.” Evan dropped to his knees in front of me. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know.” I sniffled and rubbed angrily at the tears.

  “It wasn’t something I did, was it?” He looked worried.

  I shook my head. “No, of course not. You’ve been perfect, Ev. Even the kids love you.” The emotions rolled inside me again. “I can’t do this to them.”

  “Do what?”

  “Bring someone else into their life without knowing for sure that it’s going to work out.” I took a deep breath before I lifted my eyes to meet his. “You heard what Tommy said. He’s already thinking about a future where you’re the one taking him to Boy Scouts and hockey practice.”

  Evan looked hurt. “You think I’m not good enough to be that guy?”

  “No, Evan. You’d be the perfect guy to fill that role, but I can’t ask you to do that. We’ve only been back in each other’s lives for a couple days.” I took a shuddering breath. “This is too much, too fast. For both of us, and for the kids.”

  “What are you saying, Noelle? Are you ending this before it even really started?” He searched my eyes for an answer.

  “I’m not ending it, I just think we need to slow down. I think I need to spend some time getting the kids settled in before I focus on anything else.” I touched a hand to his cheek. “Please tell me you understand. I’m not trying to hurt you, but the kids have to come first.”

&n
bsp; “Elle, of course I can understand wanting to make sure the kids are okay. I would never do anything that might hurt them. I just need to know that you understand how I feel. When I said I wanted us to try, I didn’t just mean you and me. I get that you and the kids are a packaged deal.” Evan took my hand, the one that was still wearing the ring he’d given me so many years ago. He kissed the back of that hand and said, “I waited twelve years for you. I can wait a little longer. Just…don’t take off the ring this time.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Fifteen Years Ago

  I looked up at the sky and frowned. The snow was falling heavier now than it had earlier and we already had six inches of snow on the ground. I had just finished my shift at the library and still needed to walk the six blocks home. For probably the first time, I wished that I lived in one of the dorms on campus.

  When Evan and I had decided to go to the same college, it had only made sense for us to get an apartment together. It had been strange, at first, living with someone that I had only dated long-distance for the last five years. But after five months, we’d both settled in and things were going well. We were about to spend our first Christmas together at our place rather than going back to Starlight. I just had to make it there without getting buried in a snowbank.

  I walked slowly to avoid slipping and only breathed a sigh of relief once I’d unlocked the door to our lobby. After checking the mail, I skipped up the stairs to the third floor. I let myself into the apartment and was surprised to find the lights off.

  “Ev? You home?” I called out, but it was pretty clear that he wasn’t home.

  Evan had been away at a hockey tournament, but he was supposed to return a couple hours ago. They had probably been delayed because of the weather. I was sure the bus had to slow down on the slippery roads.

  I decided to get dinner started while I waited for him. I’d tried calling his cell phone, but I had gotten his voicemail. It didn’t take long to cook dinner and then I worried that it would get cold. Eventually, I gave up waiting and ate alone before putting a plate for Evan in the fridge. I tried calling him two more times, but he still wasn’t answering.