Back to You

by Hunter J. Keane

  “The place looks good,” Evan said, glancing around.

  “It’s perfect for now. I need to start looking for a more permanent home, though.” I frowned as I thought about the logistics of moving again.

  Evan eyed me carefully. “If I say something now that is way too forward, promise not to run away screaming?”

  “With a lead-in like that, how can I say no?” I said with a laugh.

  “My parents left me their house. It’s way too big for just me, but I didn’t have the heart to sell it so I’m just living there with all these empty rooms.” He saw the panic on my face and hurried to continue. “I’m not asking you to move in right now, Elle. I’m not that crazy. But maybe you could just stay here for a while until we see how things work out for us. Then, if in a few months, or years, we decide that it’s working,” he paused to smile and continued, “then maybe you’ll take me up on my offer and you and the kids could move in with me.”

  “Ev, that’s a really generous offer.” I reached over and put my hand on top of his. “And I’m not saying no, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?”

  He nodded. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

  “I have a lot of good memories of that house,” I said.

  Evan threaded his fingers through mine. “I have a lot of good memories of you and I together in that house.”

  “It would be a beautiful place to raise the kids.” I had immediately discounted Evan’s offer, but now I was picturing what it might be like to accept. “Tommy would love the big backyard.”

  “You haven’t even seen the house in fifteen years. I’ve made a lot of updates.” He seemed pleased that I hadn’t found his offer to be completely crazy. “I’d love to take you there and show you.”

  “The kids start school on Monday. Maybe we can head over there some morning when you can get away from the farm for a bit.” I knew that I was breaking my own rule by agreeing to go with him, but I could tell it was important to Evan for me to say yes.

  “The farm is closed on Mondays.” He gave me a hopeful look.

  “Monday, huh?” I hadn’t expected him to pick a day so soon. “Yeah, okay. I could swing by after I drop the kids off at school.”

  He squeezed my hand. “I used to imagine living in that house with you.”

  “You did?” My heart started beating a little faster and it had nothing to do with the caffeine hitting my system.

  “Mom and Dad always planned to retire in the city. They told me since I was a kid that they would give me the house when I was old enough to start a family.” He smiled sadly. “I’m sure they expected to see their grandkids raised in that house.”

  “Do you still want kids?” I asked hesitantly. That question wasn’t exactly taking it slow, but it felt like an important conversation for us to have.

  “With you?” He looked right into my eyes. “Yes.”

  “How many?”

  He shrugged. “However many you want to give me.”

  “What if I don’t want any?” I asked in a whisper.

  “I’d still want to be with you. I only want kids if they are with you. If us not having kids is deal breaker for you, I’d be okay with just helping you raise the two upstairs.” He studied me closely. “Too honest?”

  “No. Refreshingly honest,” I said with a smile. “For what it’s worth, I think I do want kids. Just maybe not for a couple years. The two upstairs exhaust me right now.”

  Evan’s smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. “Like I told you earlier, Noelle, I’m willing to wait.”

  We talked for another hour and then Evan left, hopefully early enough that Madison wasn’t watching. The kids and I ate breakfast together and I asked if they wanted to go skating. Tommy was so excited he raced upstairs to get his things without even answering my question.

  “Is Evan going to be there?” Madison asked with a sly look.

  “Maybe,” I said with a shrug. The look she gave me said that she knew I was lying. Madison was too smart for her own good.

  We got to the skating rink and Evan was already there. He moved so easily over the ice and I was reminded of the nights I’d spent in the stands watching him play hockey. He had been so incredibly talented.

  “Look! Evan is here!” Tommy’s face lit up and he waved happily.

  Evan grinned and headed in our direction. “Finally, some real competition has arrived.”

  “Evan, can you help me lace up my skates? Aunt Noelle doesn’t know what she’s doing,” Tommy said, giving me a look that was pure sass.

  “These kids are onto me,” I said.

  As Evan stepped off the ice, he grinned at Tommy. “Your aunt is a little helpless when it comes to ice skates, but go easy on her. She tries her best.”

  “Thanks, Gray.” I rolled my eyes and then sucked in a sharp breath when Evan’s hand skimmed over my hip as he squeezed past me.

  Evan had both kids laces up quickly and this time I stayed on the bench while the three of them headed onto the ice. My body was still sore from all the painting and moving over the last few days. Besides, watching Evan skate was vastly more fun than having him watch me fall down.

  Once the kids were warmed up, they took off around the rink. Evan sailed over to me and I got up from the bench, meeting him at the railing. “I think Madison is onto us,” I said, putting my hands on the railing. “She knew you were going to be here this morning.”

  “Is that a bad thing?” Evan asked, resting his hands on top of mine. His fingers were surprisingly warm.

  “It just means I’m terrible at hiding how I feel about you.” I dared to look him in the eye and instantly regretted it. I couldn’t look into those eyes and not lean closer. “I really want to kiss you right now, Evan Gray.”

  “In public?” Evan gasped. “How scandalous!”

  “The kids are right there,” I said.

  He was unconcerned. “I don’t think seeing us kiss is going to scar them for life.”

  “No, but I’m the one that will have to listen to Mad’s endless questioning all the way home,” I grumbled. When Evan smirked, the last of my resolve faded and I grabbed the front of his coat and pulled him closer. I kissed him quickly, far quicker than I wanted, and checked to make sure neither of the kids had seen anything.

  “That was just a tease,” Evan complained, reaching for me. The railing between us was a good reminder that we were supposed to be keeping our distance physically.

  “Your smile is a tease,” I replied, pulling away.

  “This smile?” he feigned innocence as he grinned at me.

  I sighed and grabbed him again, this time kissing him much longer and much harder. A teenager skated by and grumbled for us to get a room.

  “I’ve got lots of rooms at my house,” Evan said, pulling away.

  “I thought we agreed to take it slow,” I replied.

  “It’s been a week. That feels slow enough to me.” His grin was so damn sexy.

  I gave him the most serious look I could muster. “I’m only coming over on Monday to see the house, not your naked body.”

  “That’s your loss,” he said, slowly backing away. “It’s quite the masterpiece.”

  “I remember,” I grumbled, slowly shaking my head. Evan was just as hard to resist as he’d always been and my will power was a lot weaker these days.

  Evan caught up with Tommy and they moved to the far end of the rink where Evan grabbed two hockey sticks. As they passed a puck back and forth, I let my mind wander. Raising the kids would be so much easier with someone like Evan by my side. The kids already loved him and he seemed to equally adore them. Perhaps most importantly, he had known their parents and would impart the right values and beliefs. David and Stephanie would approve of having Evan in their kids’ lives.

  “I knew he would be here,” Madison said, flopping next to me on the bench. “You two are so obvious.”

  “Do you like Evan?” I asked abruptly.

&
nbsp; “Yeah, of course.” Madison gave me a curious look. “Is that why you’re acting like you don’t? Are you afraid that Tommy and I won’t approve?”

  “No,” I answered honestly. “I’m afraid that I’ll screw it up again, only this time I won’t be the only one stuck getting over Evan Gray. Trust me when I say that he is very hard to get over. Like, impossible.”

  Madison groaned. “You are so pathetic. You two clearly loooove each other. Just go for it. Stop using me and Tommy as an excuse to not be happy.”

  “How do you know that being with Evan will make me happy?” I said.

  “Duh. I have eyes.” Madison rolled those eyes just to prove it. “I saw you kissing him, like, ten minutes ago. You looked all swoony and pathetic.” She gave me a crooked smile. “I just hope someone makes me feel so happy someday that I don’t even care when I look like an idiot in public.”

  “You weren’t supposed to see that,” I grumbled.

  “You’re terrible at hiding things,” Madison said. “I bet you Grandma knew every time you lied about staying with your friend Emily and went off with Evan instead.”

  I had a feeling she might be right. “Mad, I need you to promise me something.”

  “Okay…”

  “Don’t ever lie to me like that,” I said urgently. “I know that you are going to meet a guy someday and want to spend all your time with him. I promise not to be too overbearing when that happens, but I need you to promise me that you’ll always be upfront about it. I don’t want you to keep secrets like that from me.”

  “Aunt Noelle, I don’t even like boys right now,” Madison protested.

  “I know. But someday…well that will probably change. I just want you to know that you can talk to me. About anything, even if it feels awkward. Every girl should have a person they can rely on to talk about their life.” I gave her a hesitant look. “Your mom was that person for me. I think she’d want me to be that person for you.”

  Madison nodded. “Okay. If I ever find a boy that isn’t totally gross, I’ll tell you about him. But not every detail.”

  “Not every detail,” I agreed. “Do you have anything now that you’d like to talk about?”

  “Like what?” She gave me a blank look. “Like sex?”

  “Oh.” I flinched. “I mean, I guess. Did you have questions about that?”

  Madison giggled. “No. Mom already had that talk with me, like, three years ago. I just wanted to see your face get all red.”

  “You are an evil child,” I said, ruffling her hair.

  “You adore me,” Madison said confidently.

  I put my arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “You are absolutely right about that, kiddo. I’m your biggest fan.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  W e spent the rest of the weekend running last-minute errands to get the kids ready for school. Tommy had somehow lost his book bag during the move and Madison couldn’t find a single one of her favorite pens. Tommy needed a haircut and Madison needed a new coat. It felt like I drove a hundred miles just bouncing around town.

  Evan and I had coffee Sunday morning, but he had to start work early so we only spent a brief amount of time together. By Sunday night, I missed him terribly. The kids went to bed early and I decided to give him a call.

  “You’re breaking the rules,” Evan said when he answered.

  “Since when have you ever cared about rules.” I was smiling just hearing his voice. “What are you up to?”

  “I’m at Norma’s actually. Just fixed a leak in her sink and getting ready to head home.” He paused. “Unless you have something else in mind.”

  “The kids are in bed,” I said. “Would you want to come over? We could watch a movie or something.”

  Evan gave a long pause. “One of the kids could wake up and come downstairs.”

  “They could,” I agreed. “I’m willing to risk it.”

  “Alright. I’ll be right there.”

  I smiled again. “The front door is unlocked.”

  It took him less than five minutes to sneak into the house. He stripped out of his boots and coat before coming over to me on the couch. I’d already turned on some holiday movie with a terrible plot.

  “Thanks for coming,” I said, patting the space next to me.

  Evan hesitated before sitting nearly a foot away. He seemed nervous. “I was afraid you were going to change your mind by the time I got here.”

  “Why are you sitting so far away?” I said with a pout. “Get over here, Gray.”

  “What if one of the kids comes down?” he said.

  I scoot over to him, putting my hand on his leg. “They will see you sitting next to me on the couch,” I said. “Chill out.”

  “Chill out?” Evan smiled, his body relaxing next to mine. “What has happened to you?”

  “Madison sat me down and gave me a stern lecture,” I explained. “She said I was being an idiot and she’s probably right.”

  “You’re taking dating advice from your 12-year-old niece now?” Evan cocked an eyebrow. “That’s kind of pathetic, Sutton.”

  “I was going to make out with you tonight,” I said. “But if I’m so pathetic, I guess you wouldn’t be interested in that.”

  Evan’s arm went around me. “Make out? Are we twelve?”

  “If I remember correctly, 13-year-old Evan Gray was a pretty good kisser.” I moved my face closer to his until our lips were almost touching. “But if you don’t want to make out, we can always watch this lame movie.”

  His lips covered mine before the last word had left my mouth. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d just made out with a guy. After a certain age, making out was replaced with foreplay and every session always ended in sex. Knowing that our night wasn’t going to end that way made me appreciate every kiss and touch so much more.

  When the first foot fell on the stairs, Evan heard it first. “Someone’s coming,” he said, pulling away. His hand was under my shirt and my hand was in his pants. We both jerked our hands away and I smoothed down my hair. Evan grabbed a pillow and placed it strategically on his lap.

  “Evan?” Tommy asked when he came into the room, rubbing at his eyes.

  “Hey, bud,” Evan said, sounding far calmer than I knew he was.

  “Trouble sleeping?” I asked.

  Tommy nodded. “I need some water.”

  “Water. Right. I can handle that.” I checked to make sure my jeans were still buttoned before standing. “Be right back, Ev. Don’t go anywhere.”

  “I couldn’t even if I wanted to,” he muttered and I snickered.

  “Why is Evan here?” Tommy asked as I led him to the kitchen.

  “Because he’s my friend. We wanted to watch a movie together.” I poured water into a glass and handed it to Tommy.

  He seemed to accept that answer. “Could I stay down here and watch some of the movie with you? I’m not tired.”

  “You have a big day tomorrow, kiddo. You should try to get some sleep.”

  “Just a few minutes?” he begged.

  I couldn’t say no to his adorable face. “Alright. Just a few minutes.”

  He happily took a big gulp of water and slammed the glass down before bouncing back to the living room. Evan had recovered and the pillow had been returned to its rightful spot. He gave me a smile when I squeezed his shoulder.

  “Tommy is having a little trouble sleeping,” I explained. “He’s going to chill with us for a bit.”

  “Excellent.” Evan grinned at Tommy. “Your aunt has picked the most boring movie possible. You’ll be asleep in no time.”

  I returned to my seat next to Evan. “You want to sit with me?” I asked Tommy.

  “Could I sit with Evan?” he asked.

  “You’re picking him over me?” I feigned hurt. “I’ll remember this Thomas David.”

  “Don’t worry about her,” Evan advised, pulling Tommy into the small spot next to him on the couch. “You chose wisely, kid.”

  Tommy laughed and
threw his legs over Evan’s lap. He looked almost as comfortable with Evan as I felt. It made my heart happy to see them smiling at each other.

  “No talking, you two. Tommy is supposed to be getting tired,” I reminded him.

  Instead, I fell asleep first with my head on Evan’s shoulder. The movie really was boring and it had been a long day. Evan’s warm body and masculine scent soothed me to the deepest recesses of my soul. When he shook me awake almost an hour later, it took a moment to remember where I was.

  “He’s finally asleep,” Evan said, nodding toward Tommy. “I’ll carry him to bed, but you have to give me back my other arm.”

  “You’re so demanding,” I teased, yawning. “Are you sure you can carry him? He’s getting so big.”

  “He’s half the size of most of the trees I haul all day long,” Evan reminded me. “I’m pretty sure I can handle it.”

  Evan hoisted Tommy easily in his arms and I led the way upstairs. Tommy’s room was the second one on the right, just past Madison’s room. I pulled the sheets back and Evan set Tommy down gently before brushing his hand over his forehead and pushing back his hair. It was a gesture I’d seen from David dozens of times with his kids and it made my heart ache. I tucked the sheets around Tommy and kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, kiddo.”

  When we were back in the hallway, Evan nodded toward the door across the hall. “Your bedroom?” he whispered, waggling an eyebrow.

  “Shh.” I put a finger to my lips and shook my head. He pressed his hands together in a pleading gesture.

  Evan grinned as I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the room, shutting the door firmly behind us before flipping on the light.

  “Don’t get any ideas,” I hissed.

  “Oh, I’ve got lots of ideas, Sutton.” Evan’s hand was still in mine and he pulled me toward the bed. “It’s only fair for you to finish what you started downstairs.”

  “Evan, no.” I dug my feet into the carpet. “Not with the kids in the house.”

  “Get your mind out of the gutter, Sutton.” He pulled me again, this time past the bed and to the window. “You told me that you could find the Big Dipper in the night sky. Now you have to prove it.”