Natalie takes in the joy on her daughter’s face. She can’t remember the last time she’s seen Chloe this happy, not even when she found out Peter was buying her a horse. It squeezes her heart. All she’s ever wanted was the one thing she didn’t have growing up—a happy and secure family. She wants that dream for Chloe, especially. But at what price?
She draws her hand away from Peter’s. “I don’t think—”
“We’re working on it, sweetie,” he tells Chloe. “We just have to give your mom a little more time.”
“You are so not getting back together with the ass clown!” Lindsay says with disgust after Natalie tells her what happened with Peter. “Have you lost your mind?”
Natalie sighs. “I probably have. But you didn’t see the expression on Chloe’s face.”
This gives Lindsay pause. Chloe is the one weak link in the chain of Lindsay’s eternal hatred of Peter.
The two of them are sitting in the living room, drinking the rest of the bottle Peter opened earlier. Chloe went over to a friend’s house. Before she left, though, she was so excited, hugging Natalie and telling her how happy it made her to see Daddy home again. Natalie wishes Peter hadn’t said anything at all to Chloe. It was inappropriate to get her involved, but Peter obviously didn’t see it that way. Natalie’s been thinking about his visit all day. It’s hard to put it out of her mind.
“What about Anthony?” Lindsay asks. “You just told me he’s in love with you. I’d take Anthony over Peter any day of the week.”
“He’s six years younger than me.”
“So what? That’s nothing.”
Natalie picks up her glass. “Peter says the whole older-woman-younger-man relationship is doomed to fail.”
“Peter says?” Lindsay is incredulous. “Who gives a damn what Peter says? He’ll say anything to get you back.”
“He has some insight because of Lena.”
Lindsay punches a couch pillow, then picks it up and throws it across the room where it lands in the corner. “I don’t think I can listen to any more of this without screaming!”
“It’s not that I want to get back with him, but he made some good points.”
“He wants you back because he misses his mommy. That’s all.”
Natalie shakes her head. Lindsay is not exactly the most objective person to talk to about this. Ironically, a weird part of her wishes she could talk to Anthony. He’s become her best friend. Plus, he’s so good at seeing all sides to a problem.
“So where were you last night?” Natalie asks, changing the subject. “I know you didn’t sleep here.”
Lindsay picks up her glass and brings it to her mouth. “I hooked up with Giovanni.” She takes a sip of wine.
Natalie closes her eyes and lets out a deep breath. She opens them and glares at her sister. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“Nope, I’m serious.”
“Where did this happen?”
Lindsay licks her lips. “We went to a hotel.”
“Are you going to see him again?”
“I doubt it.”
“So you had a one night stand with Anthony’s brother? I think it’s my turn to scream now, of all the men at that party? How could you?”
Lindsay shrugs. “What’s the big deal? So I slept with Giovanni. It was nothing. Trust me.”
Natalie’s eyes flash to her sister. There’s a strange note in Lindsay’s voice. One she hasn’t heard before. “What exactly happened?”
“Do you really want all the details?”
“No, but something unusual happened, I can tell.”
Lindsay finishes the rest of her wine, picks up the bottle, and pours more into her glass. “He disappeared—okay? I woke up alone in a hotel room this morning.”
Natalie takes this in. She’s never had a one night stand, but assumes that’s how they work. “Isn’t that normal for this kind of thing?”
There’s a snobbish expression on Lindsay’s face. “Not for me it isn’t. Nobody ever leaves me. I always leave first.”
“I see. How was the sex?”
Lindsay grows quiet. Leans back on the couch.
“Was it bad?” Natalie has to admit she’s not surprised. Giovanni seemed like an arrogant asshole.
Lindsay runs her finger around the rim of her glass. “The sex was . . .” She trails off. “I can’t quite put it into words.”
“Honestly, I thought he seemed like a jerk. Even though he is Anthony’s brother.”
Lindsay sighs with annoyance. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but it was probably the best I’ve ever had.”
“Really?” Natalie is astonished. She doesn’t know exactly how many men Lindsay has slept with, but she knows it’s more than a few.
“Yeah,” she says softly.
“I’m really surprised. He seemed so arrogant.”
“He is kind of arrogant, but he’s also got this other quality. He’s deep. Soulful.” Lindsay thinks about it some more. “I thought we connected.”
“Until he disappeared.”
“Yeah.” There’s a hard expression on Lindsay’s face. “Until that happened.”
“Maybe it’s best you just forget about him. Like you said, you’ll probably never see him again.”
“You’re right.” A slow smile pulls on her mouth. “Unless, of course, you marry Anthony.”
Natalie chuckles. “And wouldn’t that be awkward at family gatherings? You and Giovanni with your one night stand.” She takes another sip of wine, thinking back to her conversation with Peter again. “I don’t want to give up Anthony.”
“Then don’t.”
“But we’ve had our problems, too. He isn’t perfect.”
Though who am I kidding? Anthony is as close to perfection as I’ll ever get. Just the idea of giving up Anthony makes her feel ill.
“But there’s Chloe to think of,” Natalie says. “I want her to be happy, to have stability. That means more to me than anything.”
Natalie’s not sure how it happens exactly, but Peter starts coming to dinner almost every night. Chloe invites him and is so excited, Natalie doesn’t say no. How can she deprive Chloe of seeing her dad? And she loves seeing that smile on her daughter’s face. To his credit, Peter is a perfect gentleman and doesn’t try to pressure her about getting back together anymore. Instead, he brings her gifts. Flowers the first night, then chocolates, and then a pair of earrings shaped like cupcakes. She has to admit they’re whimsical and charming. Though she doesn’t wear them.
The most noticeable thing is that he eats.
A lot.
“It’s like you’re starved or something,” she tells him one night, watching him dig into a large slice of caramel cake. He’s already had two helpings of eggplant lasagna.
“I can’t believe I was married to a woman who can cook and bake like you do and I didn’t appreciate it more.”
Natalie blinks with surprise.
Peter swallows a mouthful of cake and his expression grows serious. “I took a lot of things for granted. Things I shouldn’t have.”
Chloe is on cloud nine. “Is it okay if Daddy stays and we have family game night? Please? Pretty please?”
Peter and Chloe both love complicated board games. It was one of the things the three of them always did together as a family. Natalie finds herself going along with it, as it’s difficult to say no.
Later, when Peter goes to the bathroom and she’s alone with Chloe, her daughter smiles and bounces in her chair. “Thank you so much for letting Daddy come over. It feels just like home again!”
And this simple comment knocks the wind out of Natalie.
She hasn’t mentioned Peter’s visits to Anthony. They haven’t been doing their usual texting because he hasn’t replaced her phone yet. When they talked yesterday, he kept apologizing and telling her he’ll do it soon. Anthony also asked if she got her period, and she told him no, but it wasn’t due. He still sounded amazingly calm about the whole thing.
In truth, between meeting Anthony’s parents, and Peter’s reappearance, she’s been keeping her distance a little. Anthony wanted her to come over tonight, but she told him she couldn’t. Understandably since winning the medal, he’s been busy and distracted with reporters and meetings. There’s even talk of him flying to London soon. Peter couldn’t have chosen a better time to infiltrate her life.
“You were right about the horse,” Peter tells her after their game night and after Chloe has gone to bed. They’re sitting on the couch together in the family room. “We should have waited until Chloe was older. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Natalie nods in agreement. “There’s not much to be done about it.”
“I’ve moved out of Lena’s.” His voice is quiet.
Her brows go up as she takes this in. “Where are you living?”
“A hotel, for now. I’ll start looking for a place soon.”
“Was Lena very upset?”
He shrugs. “She wasn’t happy, but I told her she could keep the ring and I think that helped. She knew things weren’t good between us anymore.”
“What happened? I thought you two were in love.”
Peter lets out a low sigh. “I thought we were, too, but you were right all along.” He gives her an embarrassed smile. “It was just a midlife crisis. There were all these things I thought I was missing out on—not realizing I already had the life most people dream of.”
Natalie decides to be honest. “Our problems weren’t all you. I was work-obsessed and didn’t want to look at myself too closely. I was afraid of what I might find. And I know I can be stubborn sometimes,” she admits.
Peter relaxes. “You’ve really changed. And I don’t just mean on the outside. I could tell right away after I saw you again. You were always a diamond in the rough, but now you are a diamond.”
Natalie doesn’t know what to say to this.
Peter moves closer to her on the couch.
She looks at him, thinks about what Chloe said earlier, and in so many ways Peter does feel like home. “You broke my heart.”
He’s watching her and his expression softens. “I know. And you have to believe me when I say I’m sorry.”
“How can I ever trust you again?”
His hand goes up and touches her hair. She stills. It’s strange to let any man but Anthony touch her. He brushes her hair back and his fingers caress her neck. She doesn’t stop him, though. A part of her is curious.
“It’s a leap of faith,” he says. “You have to choose to trust me again.”
She turns to him. Peter’s eyes meet hers and then he leans in and kisses her. It’s nothing like Anthony’s erotic kisses. But it’s Peter. His familiar scent and tender lips. And it isn’t fair to compare him to Anthony.
“I don’t want to rush you,” he says when he draws back. “But you should know I want you in every way.”
There it is again. Natalie sees it, the desire in his eyes.
“Okay,” she whispers. “Let me think about all this.”
After he leaves, Natalie sits and tries to make sense of things. It feels as if her life has been moving in uncharted waters for so long. Maybe this is her chance to find her way again, get back on course.
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. It’s late enough she figures it must be Peter, but when she opens it there’s a jolt of surprise.
Anthony is standing there.
“WHAT THE HELL is going on?” Anthony growls.
He’s wearing his motorcycle jacket, helmet at his side, looking just like he did when he came to her that first night. The big bad wolf at her door.
The sight of him makes her knees go weak and her heart flutter. She can’t stop the stupid smile on her face.
But Anthony isn’t smiling. He looks concerned and she should have known he’d guess something was wrong. He’s too perceptive for anything less.
After he comes inside, she turns so he can follow her into the next room, but his hand reaches out for her arm.
“Hey, where are you going? Come here.”
He pulls her into him and kisses her, surrounding her with his windblown scent. His mouth tastes so good. Like love and happiness, and the hottest sex she’s ever had. Natalie gives in to it. Kisses him with passion, hungry for more. But then she pulls back, because she knows this is going to be hard enough already.
“Miss Natalie, I’ve missed you,” he murmurs, his hand on her ass. “I was getting worried.”
She moves away from him, walks toward the kitchen as he follows.
“Are you still pissed about your phone?” He puts his helmet down on one of the chairs near the island. “I know I’ve been preoccupied lately. I swear, I’ll get you a new phone by next week.”
“That’s okay.”
He frowns. “Why didn’t you want to come over tonight?”
Natalie leans against the counter. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“No, I’m not thirsty.” He studies her. “You’ve been so distant. I’ve been racking my brain. Was it meeting my parents?” He lets out a deep breath. “I know that was awkward for you. In hindsight, I should have handled it better.”
“Peter’s been here.”
Anthony freezes.
“He’s been coming over for dinner.”
Anthony still doesn’t move. The tension in the room grows palpable. She waits for him to speak, and when he doesn’t, she continues.
“He wants me back.”
Anthony curses. Then suddenly he’s in front of her, hands on her sides. She gasps when he lifts her so she’s sitting on the kitchen counter. He stands between her thighs and places a hand on each side of her.
She stares at the white strip of leather that runs across the zipper on his motorcycle jacket.
“So I was right,” he says, an edge to his voice.
“You were,” she admits.
“Should I be worried here? You said you were mine.” She can feel him watching her. “Look at me, Natalie.”
She lifts her head. He searches her eyes. Judging by the hard expression on his face, he doesn’t like what he finds. But then his face grows thoughtful.
“What if you’re pregnant?”
“I’m not.”
“How do you know?”
“I got my period this morning.”
He turns his head. She thought he’d be relieved by the news, but he doesn’t look it. She wasn’t relieved either.
“Don’t do it,” he says, turning to her again. “Don’t go back to him.”
Natalie puts her hand to his jaw, scratchy the way she likes it. If only she could touch him forever.
“It’ll be a mistake,” he tells her. “So just don’t do it.”
“I think I have to.”
Anthony closes his eyes.
She watches his beautiful face and her heart hurts. The ache of it travels through her whole body. She tries to swallow, but it feels like there’s something blocking her throat.
Her breath gets shaky. She wishes things were different, but they’re not.
When Anthony opens his eyes, they are dark and intense. He shakes his head slowly. “No.”
His hand comes up and touches her cheek, his thumb rubs over her lips and then his fingers slide through her hair, holding her still for him. He claims her mouth. Kisses her roughly, at first. But then it changes to something erotic and deep. Both his hands move down and her arms wind around his neck, her breasts pressing into his hard chest. She feels his hands on her back, then under her shirt until he’s caressing bare skin.
Natalie knows what he’s doing. Seducing her. Using all his weapons. And for a little while, she lets herself enjoy it.
Her eyes fall shut. Inhaling him. His smell and taste. Trying to remember everything.
His palm moves over her breast. “Let’s go to your bedroom,” he whispers.
She’s tempted. The pull of her desire for Anthony is so strong. Chloe is home, but even if she wasn’t, she knows it wouldn’t be fa
ir to him.
So she draws back and unwinds her arms from his neck. “I can’t.”
He doesn’t give up though. Moving closer, he tries to kiss her again. “I want you.”
“You can’t keep me like this. It won’t work.”
“We’ll see about that,” he murmurs. His fingers slide down each side of her leg.
Natalie takes a deep breath. “I’m letting Peter move back in.” She’s only now just decided it. But realizes it’s what has to be done.
Anthony flinches.
It hurts her deeply to see it, but she continues. “Chloe is so happy when he’s around. I haven’t seen her like this in a long time. I have to give her the one thing I never had. A stable home.”
Natalie tries to take his hand in hers. This time Anthony pulls away, shakes her off. But she knows he understands because he has Serena and he’d do anything for her, too.
“A stable home has love in it,” Anthony says. “Are you telling me you still love Peter?”
Natalie sees the calculated expression on his face. And then she knows what she has to do. The one thing that will set Anthony free. She has to lie. “Yes,” she says. “Yes, I do.”
To her surprise, he smirks, though it’s humorless. “I don’t believe you. You’re going to have to be more convincing than that.”
“It’s true.”
He shakes his head. “No, it isn’t.”
“I still love him. I really do.”
His intelligent eyes meet hers. “Is this really how you want to play it?”
“It’s the truth. I want Peter back.”
He lets out a deep breath. “I love you, Natalie. But if you want me out of your life so bad that you’ll lie right to my face, then I’ll step aside and give you exactly what you want.”
“You will?”
“Yes.”
Natalie tries to speak again, but can’t. Wants to tell him this isn’t what she wants, but it has to be this way. Can’t he see? It’s like she’s suffocating, though.
Anthony doesn’t make a move at first. Just considers her for a long moment. Finally, he steps in close and kisses her on the cheek. “Be happy,” he whispers.
Year of Living Blonde (Sweet Life in Seattle, Book 1) Page 39
