Hunger Awakened (The Feral Book 1)

by Charlene Hartnady

  Vicky knew something was wrong the second his body tensed. His breathing hitched. Talon made this anguished sound as he pulled out of her. He lifted slightly, meeting her eyes.

  She was momentarily floored at the pain reflected there. “Talon?” she whispered.

  He shook his head once, twice, like he was in shock. “Vicky.” He cupped her cheeks and for a second she was sure she saw more than just pain and hurt. She saw emotion, directed at her. Maybe love … maybe. Then it was gone and the hurt was back. His gaze softened to one she had seen before. “I’m so—”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear those words.” Hearing him apologize for what just happened would break her. It would tear her to pieces.

  Talon splayed his hand on her belly. “I creamed inside you,” he whispered.

  “Yeah, we should have used a condom,” she blurted. It was something she had thought about briefly, for like two seconds and had decided against in favor of having him inside her without any barriers. After Jeff, and all the tests she’d had to take, it was a big step. “It’s okay,” she reassured him. “I’m on the pill. I take medication so that I can’t become pregnant,” she added. “We’re okay.”

  He pushed out a heavy breath, looking relieved. Would having a child with her be such a terrible thing?

  “That should not have happened.” Here we go. She knew this was coming. That had been the most intense sex she had ever had.

  Ever.

  And it wasn’t because he had made her come twice. Twice, dammit. It was for so many other reasons. Reasons that counted far more than the physical experience. By the look on Talon’s face, she could tell that he had felt them too. That this had been more for him too. That was why he was running scared. She had a good idea. It was her turn to cup his face in her hands. To feel his stubble catch against her fingers. “There was nothing wrong with what just happened.”

  His eyes clouded even more and he pulled away. “There is everything wrong. I am mated to another female. Lark is my mate.”

  “Lark is gone Talon,” she whispered the words. Wanting so much to be the other woman right now. Wanting to be enough for Talon. Wanting somehow to get through to him but knowing it wasn’t going to happen.

  “I should never have touched you.” He heaved a sigh. “We should never …” His voice was thick and deep. “I’m sorry …”

  His words tore into her. “I told you not to apologize to me. Don’t apologize for something that was beautiful and real and wonderful.” At least to her. Maybe it was just fucking for him. Driven by loneliness.

  “I will take you back now.”

  “Like this?” She looked down at her ruined dress.

  “I will find something for you to wear,” he murmured. “I will fix this.”

  “There is nothing to fix. Nothing to apologize for. Nothing you can do to take back what we just did.”

  His expression told her that he wanted to do just that. He regretted this. That hurt the most.

  “Why did you bring me out here? It wasn’t for sex.”

  “I don’t know. I was crazy angry. I wanted to hurt that male. You drove me insane the whole of today, putting distance between us. The feel of your lips this morning …” He looked away. “I thought maybe if I shifted, if I flew, that it would stop the need. This hunger I feel for you, but it didn’t. If anything, being in my animal form only made it worse. It made my desire for you more honed and acute. I should not have shifted. I should have controlled myself better.”

  His words were both beautiful and barbed. “I think you should just take me back. I can’t help you anymore. I’ll give back the money.”

  “I don’t want the money.” His eyes blazed. “You keep it.”

  There was a part of her that had hoped he would fight against breaking this off. Whatever it was that they had. It didn’t happen. She could see that their relationship, in all aspects, was over. He was leaving. “I don’t want it.” She tried one last time, her voice filled with emotion.

  Talon didn’t respond. Instead, Vicky watched as he shifted. Watched as each of his muscles lengthened, thickened and roped. Watched as fur sprouted on his hind limbs and feathers and scales on his front. She watched in rapt, almost morbid fascination as his jaw elongated and a razor-sharp beak grew. His eyes. Those stayed the same. Just as haunted. So much sadness there. She felt it too.

  Talon finally stood before her, his transformation complete. Big, majestic, so beautiful he almost stole her breath. Her chest tightened. “I thought that being the scorned wife, having my husband cheat on me with another woman, was the worst thing that could happen to me. Jeff made me feel worthless. Like I had no value. Worth so little that he had to go out and find something better, but I was wrong. I was so wrong.” She shook her head. She could see that he was listening. Processing her words. “Being the other woman is just as bad, maybe even worse. You’ve made me feel like the other woman. The cheater. The imposter. The one society shuns. Worth nothing more than a quick fuck.” She knew she was hurting him. Could see it in his eyes. It only made her feel worse.

  Talon lifted his great head and screeched. The sound filled with pain and anguish. Then he picked her up and took to the sky.

  Chapter 22

  Three days later …

  There was a knock at the door and her heart raced. Her palms felt instantly sweaty and those same words rushed through her mind, like they did every time the phone rang, or if she caught sight of a big man in a crowd.

  Talon.

  Was it him?

  Was he trying to make contact? He'd dropped her back at the boathouse and had vanished. His stuff had been packed and was gone by the time she got back to her apartment. Gone. Like he'd never been there. It was the ache inside her ‒ as corny as that sounded ‒ that was left behind. A part of her that was missing. She missed him. He hadn't been in her life for very long, and yet she missed him a ton.

  The knock sounded again.

  Could it be? She hated this desperate part of her that wanted to see him again. That would take what little he offered. Thing was, she didn’t think he was coming back. She didn’t think she would ever see him again. Talon was gone for good.

  Vicky opened the door. She gasped when she saw who was there.

  Kerry burst into tears as soon as their eyes locked. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have come. It was wrong of me.” She looked away, began to turn. Her cheeks turning pink.

  “No, wait!” Vicky half-yelled. “Come in, please.”

  Vicky turned back to the door. Tears streaked down Kerry’s cheeks and her nose was running. Her left eye was almost sealed shut. It was swollen, with angry black and purple bruises. Her top lip was cut and puffy.

  “Come in and sit down,” Vicky repeated.

  Kerry nodded once, she gripped the handle of a wheely bag and pulled. “I left him,” her voice shook. “I thought he was going to kill me.” She made a whimpering noise.

  Oh shit! “Sit.” Vicky gestured to the sofa. “I’m going to get you some Kleenex.” She went and fetched the box in the bathroom, placing it in front of Kerry.

  “Thank you,” she said, taking a tissue and dabbing it around her good eye. She winced as she tried to blow her nose. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have come.” She made to stand.

  “No, stay. Let’s talk.”

  Kerry held her gaze for a second and then nodded, looking down at her lap.

  “Can I get you some tea or a coffee?”

  Kerry looked up again. “Do you have herbal tea?” She put a hand on her belly. “I have been avoiding caffeine.” This brought on a fresh wave of tears.

  “I’m sure I have chamomile somewhere in my cupboard?” She raised her brows.

  Kerry nodded. “That would be nice, thank you.”

  “Give me a few minutes.

  Kerry nodded once. “Sit tight, I’ll be right back.”

  Vicky put the kettle on and set about preparing a tray. Her
mind raced. Had Jeff done that to Kerry? She knew her ex had a bad temper. He’d shoved her once, but he’d never gotten physical, not like that.

  The kettle boiled and she filled the mugs, leaving the tea bags in to steep. Vicky took the tray out to Kerry, placing it on the coffee table in front of them. “Here you are.”

  “Thank you.” Kerry’s bottom lip quivered and she bit down to stop it. “You are kind to let me into your house, after …” Her eyes filled with tears but she blinked them away. “I came to apologize and to thank you for sending me that email.”

  “No need, don’t—”

  “No, I do.” She sat forward in her chair, her words firm. “I didn’t know. I swear to you that I didn’t know that he was married, at least, it was my understanding that you guys were separated when we first met. That it was as good as over between you.”

  “We weren’t separated though. We were still very much together. Did Jeff tell you that we were trying for a baby?”

  “No.” Fresh tears streaked down her cheeks. She shook her head, sounding distraught. “He was such a liar and a bastard. He told me that you guys were separated. That the divorce was pending. I wouldn’t let him sleep with me until you guys were officially divorced, only to find out now that the divorce wasn’t finalized until months after we moved in together and now …” Kerry grabbed a couple of Kleenex, using them to dab at her face. “He sent you a message online. He told me that you had cheated on him. That he couldn’t forgive you, even though he had tried. You’d been to a ton of therapy but he couldn’t move past it.”

  Vicky nodded. “I’m sorry, Kerry. None of it is true and yes, he did send me a message through that online dating site.” She pointed to her computer on the table. “I can show it to you, if you like.”

  Kerry shook her head. “No, I believe you. He’s been acting strangely lately. Working late. Hiding his phone. I was starting to suspect something was up.”

  “Not with me.” Vicky put up her hands. “I completely ignored him.”

  “I know, I think he’s probably messaging other women as well. In fact, I’m sure of it.”

  “We were still married when he had the affair with you. I found an email and then messages between the two of you. I always thought you had known he was married. It never occurred to me that he was lying to us both.”

  “I would never …” She shook her head vehemently. “I swear. Thank you for warning me.”

  “I almost didn’t. My friend, Maggie talked me into it. So, it’s she who you should probably be thanking.” The message from Jeff had left a bad taste in her mouth. He’d told her how much he missed her, how good she was looking. He made it clear that he was unhappy in his relationship with Kerry. “Did he hit you?” It needed to be asked.

  Kerry nodded. “He got so angry when I said I was leaving. Up until then he’d apologized and asked for forgiveness. He told me it was my fault he was looking elsewhere.” She sniffed. Vicky could see that she was trying hard not to cry. “He isn’t attracted to me now that I’ve started to show. My libido hasn’t been the same either.” She shrugged. “He said he has needs as a man, needs I wasn’t meeting.”

  Typical Jeff. “What a dick! You know that isn’t true, right?”

  “Yes,” she nodded, “of course, I know. That’s why I stuck to my guns and packed my bag. That’s when he started getting angry. He told me I’d have nothing if I left. That my baby and I would have to live on the street. I gave up my job when I became pregnant. I’m such an idiot for believing all his lies.” Kerry squared her shoulders. “I’ll be alright though. We’ll be just fine without him.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I’ll move in with my sister for a short while. She has three kids and her husband is out of work, but she’s offered to let me sleep on the couch until I get back on my feet. I will reapply for my old job.” She shrugged. “You never know, maybe I will get lucky. Otherwise, I’ll try to find work. I doubt anyone will employ a pregnant lady though ‒ I’m already four months along. I don’t care. I’ll live on baked beans. I’ll do what it takes.”

  “He needs to help out.”

  “Jeff told me he doesn’t believe the baby is his.” Another tear streaked down her cheek. “He told me if I walk out the door it’s over … that he wants nothing to do with me … nothing to do with us. It’s definitely his baby. I don’t sleep around. I had one serious boyfriend before Jeff, I … I can’t believe I was so stupid. I’m pissed at myself.”

  “You can have the baby tested once he or she is born. Don’t let him get away with it.”

  “I won’t.” Kerry shook her head.

  “You should report him for that.” Vicky pointed at her face. “He should never have put his hands on you.”

  “No.” Kerry’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t want to have to deal with him.” She shook her head.

  “No, you should report it. At the very least, get a restraining order against him. You can decide later if you want to press charges but at least you’ll have something on record. He beat you, Kerry. What if he had hurt the baby? You could have lost your child.”

  Kerry’s lip quivered and she sucked in a deep breath, trying hard to compose herself. When she picked up her mug of tea, Vicky could see that her hand was shaking. She took a sip, holding onto the mug so hard her knuckles were white. “You’re right.” She held the mug in her hands. “I will. Thank you again for everything.”

  “No pr—” there was a knock at the door. Talon. Her heart beat faster. Maybe it was him. Maybe. Another knock, louder this time.

  Kerry’s eyes were wide, she continued to clutch the mug like her life depended on it.

  Vicky realized that she was worried it might be Jeff. “You stay here,” she instructed the other woman. “Don’t worry, he wouldn’t dare come here. I’ll make sure before I open, and I’ll call the cops if it is him.”

  Kerry visibly relaxed. She nodded once.

  “Who is it?” Vicky asked through the door.

  “It’s Cadon.” A deep voice. One she didn’t recognize. “I’m a friend of Talon’s.”

  Vicky remembered that name, Talon had mentioned it once or twice. It was the guy he contacted every morning. Vicky opened the door just a crack and yup, sure as nuts, the guy in the hallway was at least as big as Talon, only his hair was longer and more of a sandy blond. His eyes were the same color, only more golden. Definitely a griffin shifter. He wore jeans, sneakers and a T-shirt that read ‘I wish you were beer’. Yup, he was a friend of Talon alright.

  “Hi, I’m Vicky. I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

  “Please can I come in. Talon asked me to check on you.”

  Her heart beat like mad. She nodded once, feeling like an idiot for wanting to hold on to any part of him. “Come in.” She stood to the side.

  He nodded.

  “Can I offer you some tea?” Vicky asked as he brushed past her.

  Cadon shook his head, his eyes were on Kerry.

  Kerry put a hand to her chest when she caught sight of Cadon. The guy was huge and intense looking. Must be a shifter thing. “Cadon this is Kerry, Kerry meet Cadon. He’s a friend of a friend.”

  “Talon asked me to check in on you,” Cadon repeated, eyes still on Kerry. He finally managed to wrestle his gaze away. “Is everything okay here?” He looked back at Kerry. “Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine,” Kerry replied, her cheeks suffused with pink. Her one hand rubbed her tiny swell.

  “Are you sure you won’t have tea?” Vicky asked.

  “Quite sure.”

  “I’d better get going.” Kerry put down her still half-full mug. “I’m going to call a cab and head to the police station.”

  “Are you doing okay, Vicky?” Cadon asked, his gaze moving back to hers.

  “Perfectly fine.” Talon had sent his friend to check in on her. He did still care. Of course he did. That wasn’t the problem. “You can tell Talon I don’t need checking in on.” She licked her lips. �
�How is he doing?” Weak, she was so weak. “Has he gone back … home?”

  “Yes,” Cadon nodded, “he is well and yes, he is back home.”

  Kerry stood up. “Thank you for the tea and the help … all of it.”

  “It’s a pleasure. Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will.” Kerry grabbed the handle of her wheely bag and began to pull it towards the door.

  “Allow me,” Cadon said, picking up the bag.

  “No, it’s fine. I’m fine,” Kerry protested. “I can manage.” Her hand still clutched the handle even though Cadon was carrying the bag.

  “I will help you,” Cadon said in a no-nonsense tone.

  “Okay,” Kerry said, letting go. “Thank you.”

  Cadon was looking at Kerry strangely. “Let’s go,” he said before turning back to Vicky. “I will tell Talon you send your regards.”

  “Is he coming back?” Vicky asked. Weak. So very damned weak. She shouldn’t care. Shouldn’t be trying, but the problem was that she did care.

  Cadon shook his head. “No. Goodbye, Vicky.”

  A fresh wave of pain seared through her. “All the best, Kerry.” The other woman nodded once and then followed Cadon.

  It was for the best anyway. Talon was still in love with his dead wife. There was no competing with that. It was something she admired about him. Both hated and admired. It probably made her a bad person. The part where she hated his love for his wife. Dead or not, she couldn’t help it. Just like she couldn’t help missing him. It was Vicky’s turn to bite down on her lip, to blink rapidly so that she wouldn’t cry.

  Chapter 23

  Three weeks later …

  He was doing well. Really well. His little ‒ okay, not so little ‒ problem had all but disappeared since coming back home. Talon felt great. Better than great. Life was back to normal. He flew as often as he wanted. He sparred daily. He felt stronger than ever. Happier than ever. As long as he didn’t think of her.

  Vicky.