Inspired by Night: - a sexy new age romance

by L E May

‘What? Ols, what’s going on?’

  I pushed the still ringing phone into his chest and pushed him towards the door, ‘just get away from me.’

  Steven took hold of his phone and looked at the screen. The colour drained from his face when he saw the caller ID message.

  ‘Liv.’

  ‘Don’t you call me Liv. I mean it, Steven, get out.’ I scowled at him as he took a step towards me, ‘Now!’ I screamed.

  He held his hands up and grabbed his coat.

  ‘I’m really sorry, Ols, I can explain.’

  I turned my back on him and waited for him to leave. I heard the door click shut and then flung myself on the sofa and burst into tears.

  The following morning I heard the phone ringing in the kitchen, and reluctantly dragged myself out of bed.

  ‘What happened?’ Ruth said as soon as I picked up the phone.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Your text message last night just said ‘I hate him.’ Who? Steven?’

  ‘We came home from Callum’s last night and Steven left to go to the corner shop to buy a bottle of wine and I decided to FaceTime Chris.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I don’t know, it’s not important. The important thing is that Steven left his phone behind and when I tried to call Chris the call went to Steven’s phone.’

  ‘No! Steven is your cyber vampire?’ Her voice registered the same shock I’d felt last night.

  ‘It would seem so. He came back and I kicked him out. I haven’t spoken to him since. Although I’ve had about ten text messages from him and several missed calls.’

  ‘Well that explains the unidentifiable photos. Wow. I can’t believe it.’

  ‘I can’t believe he did that to me. So much for trying to prove I could trust him.’ I sighed miserably.

  ‘Did he explain why he did it?’

  ‘I didn’t give him the chance.’

  ‘He might have a good explanation.’

  ‘I’ve thought about this all night and I can’t think of a single reason that he could give me that would be acceptable.’

  ‘Give it a few days and see how you feel. You’ll have to face him sooner or later.’

  I sniffed sadly, ‘I just can’t believe it. I lost both of them in one instant.’

  ‘Or looking at it another way, you get to keep both of them.’ Ruth pointed out. She was right as always; I had felt conflicted at times, frustrated that I couldn’t be with Chris but wanting Steven too, I’d felt guilty and ashamed about Chris because of how Steven might feel if he found out. Turns out he knew all along. All the things I loved about each of them I could have because they were both the same person.

  I shook my head, ‘I just feel so stupid.’ I whispered.

  ‘You shouldn’t feel stupid, Olly,’ she reassured me, ‘but until you speak to him, you can’t know what his intention was and you’ll drive yourself insane making assumptions.’

  She knew me too well. I would wallow in self-pity, imagining he’d planned it all from the start, with some hidden agenda that would ruin me. I ended the call and put the kettle on. Tea – the nation’s healer. I glanced over at my laptop and decided to shut it down, unplug it, and put it away on the bookshelf. I turned off my mobile and put it with the laptop, Ruth would call my landline if she wanted to get in touch and I didn’t want to hear from anyone else. Finally I settled on the sofa, turned on the TV and PlayStation, and loaded up Lego Batman. A big part of me wanted to punch Steven in the face, but I would settle for bashing Lego bricks instead. I destroyed every Lego building I could see and when there was nothing left to break, I punched Robin. Part of me liked making my character punch his assistant: it was as close as I was going to get to doing it in real life.

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  It was four days before I felt human again. I woke up that morning and realised I needed to shower. My armpits smelled like curry and my hair was so greasy my head slid down the headboard every time I propped myself up against it. I felt disgusting. Pull yourself together, for goodness sake! I ordered myself. I was behaving like I had been dumped; heartbroken and alone. I hadn’t been dumped – I’d been duped.

  I had spent three very cathartic days pummelling the hell out of a variety of video game characters, watched some TV box sets, and ordered takeaway each night. Chris would have been horrified at my diet, if he existed that is. But now I’d exhausted all my hibernation options and felt like I needed to get out. I was ready to face the world again.

  I felt almost happy as I rounded the corner towards the old school. I was pleased to see cars in the car park, as much as I loved the place there’s nothing creepier than an old, empty primary school. I wasn’t planning to stay long, I’d started sketching some ideas for a game and I wanted to collect the ideas so I could do some planning before we started back in the new year.

  As I made my way along the corridor I heard a chorus of voices floating out from the choir room and smiled to myself. Hearing the choir always gave me goosebumps, something about the harmonies and the collection of voices all working together felt magical. I’d always wished I could sing. Can’t be good at everything, unlike some people. I shook the thought from my head, I didn’t want to think about how perfect Steven was right now.

  I unlocked my office door and slipped into my room. I loved my office. The checkerboard floor, the prints on the wall. I sat down on the sofa and closed my eyes. I’d always loved coming here to work, but over the last few months it had become my favourite place to be and I knew that was partly down to Steven. The first few weeks had been difficult, so distracting but when Melissa came along and Chris was taking care of my sudden sexual urges, something more important developed between Steven and I. We grew to understand each other, trust and respect one another.

  I was distracted from my thoughts by the phone ringing. I frowned, we’re closed! As I reached over to answer it the ringing stopped. The connection light was lit up under line number two. Someone had answered the call. Someone else is here. My heart started thumping and a prickle of discomfort ran up the back of my neck. Steven. It could only be Steven, no one else had a key to the main room. I crept over to the door and crouched down to peek through the keyhole. Sure enough there was Steven sat at his desk. His hair had that wilted look he had when he was anxious and worried; flopped lifelessly to one side covering half of his face. He hadn’t shaved and his face had a pretty impressive beard forming. It had never occurred to me that he might shave every day, no wonder I didn’t recognise him on camera. He was wearing his glasses too, I’d never seen him wearing glasses before, except on the webcam. Well it worked for Superman I suppose.

  I listened carefully to his conversation:

  ‘No we are closed for the holidays, but I wanted to get some work done.’ Steven was explaining to someone, ‘No not at all, she doesn’t know I’m here, I came of my own free will.’ He paused, listening to the caller, then his eyebrows shot up and his eyes narrowed before he frowned. ‘Wow, gosh – that’s, well, I’m really flattered, Celine.’

  Celine O’Hara? A rep from Ignition Games, one of the largest developers in the UK.

  ‘I’d have to give it some thought; I certainly haven’t had any desire to leave Inspired.’ He paused. ‘Wow, that’s a very generous offer. I don’t really know what to say.’

  She’d offered him a job? I could feel panic rising. We had come so far in such a short time but that was all down to Steven, how would we manage without him?

  ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he said suddenly, I could see him frowning. ‘Callum’s? Yes why?’ He paused again. ‘Boxing Night?’ He closed his eyes as the penny dropped. Someone had seen us together. But so what? ‘I go in most nights, Callum is my best friend and I often join him for a closing drink.’ He shrugged. ‘Drowning my sorrows? Wow, you’ve gone to great lengths to get something on me, I’m flattered.’ He laughed, then his face grew serious. ‘I suppose it could get awkward, you may be right, and it is a very generous package. I ne
ed time to think it over, though.’

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He was going to leave us. I felt sick and so confused, the thought of Steven leaving was horrible. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he might leave Inspired because of all this. He’d probably take all my clients too, I thought bitterly. I could feel tears threatening and I wanted to get as far away as possible. I gathered up my sketches as quickly as I could, trying to stuff them into my bag as I made my way to the door, I slipped out of the door and into the corridor and quietly pulled the door shut behind me.

  ‘Liv?’ Shit! Steven was opening the door to the main office as I was turning the key in my lock. I didn’t know if he had heard me or if this was a coincidence. I didn’t really want to speak to him to find out. ‘Will you let me explain, please?’

  ‘So you can make some more stuff up? Tell me more things that I want to hear?’ I pulled the keys out of my door and popped them into my bag, straightening the strap on my shoulder as I walked away. He grabbed my arm and I stared at his hand at my elbow.

  ‘Are you ever going to speak to me again, Liv?’

  I stared at his hand. I really didn’t have an answer for his question. Part of me pictured a time in the future when all this was behind us, but I couldn’t see the scenario where I forgave him. I shrugged, ‘Perhaps Celine O’Hara can cheer you up. When are you leaving us?’

  His mouth fell open and he loosened his grip on my arm. I took my chance and hurried away.

  Chapter Forty

  ‘So which is it then? You never want to see him again or you don’t want to lose him?’ Ruth asked, confused. She was waving a hot curling tong around like she was conducting an orchestra just inches from my ear. It was New Year’s Eve. I hated New Year’s Eve. But Ruth was insistent that I join her and Andrew at a local party being thrown by someone Andrew worked with. ‘It’ll be fun,’ she’d wheedled, ‘and it’s walking distance from home.’ I really wasn’t in the mood for a party.

  ‘Personally I don’t want to see him, but professionally, he’s had a significant impact on Inspired, if I lose him I lose my charming spokesperson who brings us all our work in.’

  ‘Not all your work, Olly, you were managing just fine on your own.’ She reminded me.

  ‘Yes but now I have six members of staff, I don’t bring in that much work alone to pay them all.’

  ‘But your output is significantly bigger than it was which means you’ll be more noticeable, customers will come looking for you.’ She shrugged, ‘and don’t forget that there are other charming men in the world, hire a schmoozy sales guy to go to all your conferences.’

  The thought of sending someone else out in my name horrified me, especially if he didn’t know anything about programming. Steven was the perfect poster boy for Inspired, he could really sell us because he was passionate about our products and heavily involved in making them. A rare thing, someone who spent his days plugged in to a computer who could also engage effortlessly with the public. He was irreplaceable. I slumped in my seat and yelped as the section of hair being coiled around the curling tong left a dull ache in my scalp.

  ‘Keep still and stop slouching,’ she laughed, ‘so how do you reconcile these two major parts of your life?’

  ‘I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter anyway, he’ll go off to Ignition, I won’t have him distracting me in the office any more and in time I can just forget he ever existed.’

  ‘And what will you do about the gaping hole in your heart?’ I glanced up at her stern face in the mirror and shrugged. ‘You’re behaving as though he cheated on you or dumped you, Olly. But the way you described him in the office yesterday he looked miserable, he’s obviously hurting as much as you, worse probably because this is his fault, he had everything he wanted, he’s been pursuing you by any means necessary since he joined Inspired and finally he had you. And just like that it’s gone because you discovered the path he’d been taking to win you and you didn’t like it.’

  I frowned. It was as though Ruth wanted me to forgive him. ‘Why are you suddenly on his side?’

  ‘I’m not, I just don’t want you to lose him out of stubbornness. You haven’t even given him a chance to explain yet. All I’m saying is that you’re acting like you lost him, both of them, but he’s right there, pining away because he wants you and you won’t speak to him.’

  ‘So why’s he running away to Ignition if he’s so innocent?’

  ‘You don’t know for sure that he’s leaving, you heard one side of a conversation. Maybe he’s thinking about it because he needs an escape plan if you won’t forgive him.’

  ‘Do you think I should forgive him?’

  ‘I think you have to remember that he’s a good-looking boy, and you know the pretty ones are stupid. You made it clear you’re really pissed off about it, now let him make it up to you and then go fuck his brains out and forget it ever happened.’ She smirked, ‘At least until his next trip away and you decide to get the webcam out for old times’ sake!’

  I laughed then, ‘I couldn’t do it, when I saw him that one time, felt him looking at me, I felt so self-conscious. Knowing it’s Steven …’ I trailed off.

  ‘The guy you love? The guy you just spent a passionate Christmas night and Boxing Day with?’

  ‘Yes, knowing it’s Steven, I don’t think I could do that now. I think I enjoyed the naughtiness of it, the anonymity of this strange, almost non-existent man. I think Steven represented something more innocent, real, and pure. I can’t bear to think of Steven seeing me in that way.’

  ‘Why can’t he be both? You want your man to think you’re sexy, surely? As well as loving you and sharing your interests, he’s your best friend but also a hot-blooded male who looks at you and gets a raging hard on,’ she grinned, ‘when Andrew goes away, I want to know he’s thinking about me and not checking out anyone else while I’m out of sight. Make him want to go back to his hotel room to call you instead of propping up the bar and flirting with loose women.’

  I was silent while I digested this suggestion, Ruth finished my hair and started rummaging through my wardrobe for something suitable for me to wear.

  The party was in full swing when we arrived, lots of people were milling around, music was coming from one room, the noise of lots of people all talking at once was drifting in from another room. I just wanted to find a quiet corner to sit down and nurse a drink. Preferably near the buffet table.

  I spotted the food in the kitchen and made a bee line towards it.

  ‘Hey, Olivia,’ I heard the surprise in his voice and turned around, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew at this party. It was Callum.

  ‘Oh hey, what are you doing here? I’d have thought your place would be rammed tonight?’

  ‘It is, but we also agreed to cater this party so I volunteered to come here. I didn’t want to spend my New Year’s Eve working, this job will finish as soon as I pull this last piece of cling film off, and then I can help myself to a drink and go party!’ He grinned at me as the cling film peeled away from the tray of chicken signalling the end of his shift. ‘So, Olivia, I know it’s none of my business but what happened?’

  I raised my eyebrows questioningly, ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, he’s been drowning his sorrows the last three nights, you promised me romantic meals.’ He smiled kindly. ‘You don’t have to tell me of course, but you seemed so happy the other night.’

  I frowned despite myself, I didn’t really like being asked about it, I certainly couldn’t tell Callum what had happened, I was relieved that he didn’t know though, at least Steven hadn’t told him what he’d done – or what I’d done.

  ‘You can tell when he’s happy because his hair is all big and hard but right now it’s all limp and floppy.’ He grinned, I laughed at his description and realised he was right. ‘I mean look at it,’ he continued, nodding his head. I felt my blood rushing to my head as I turned to follow his gaze, I could hear my heart pounding. There he was, through the cl
earing of people I spotted him, sat in the corner idly tearing the label off his bottle of beer. I was looking for a quiet corner and he’d beaten me to it. He had shaved and swapped his glasses for lenses but his hair was flopped over to one side, covering half his face, like the Phantom of the Opera. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the neck and untucked. His sleeves were rolled up revealing his strong arms. His jeans were scuffed around the edges. He looked strangely normal, but not like Steven. He’d forgotten to put his costume on. I felt my heart break, am I the cause of his misery? I fought against my desire to go and comfort him, surely he deserved to feel bad, he’d done a bad thing, he’d hurt me, tricked me. I looked at Callum sadly. ‘He told me that he’s the one who did wrong, so I can’t imagine how miserable you feel if you’re the one who’s been hurt.’

  I reached for a couple of beers and nodding I made my way over to Steven. Between Ruth’s calm reasoning and Callum’s comments I was beginning to see this whole situation differently. I realised one thing for sure, I didn’t want to lose this man from my life. I loved him, even if I did want to smash his face in at the moment.

  I flopped down on the sofa next to him. He didn’t look at me. I watched him for a little while but he didn’t seem to notice, he just stared into space and picked at the label on the bottle. ‘Here,’ I said holding out a bottle to him. He looked at the bottle and frowned, is eyes flicked up to my face and away again as he took the beer. Then he lifted his head as he realised who I was.

  ‘Liv?’

  ‘I got your messages,’ I said.

  ‘Can we talk about it?’ He asked, uncertainly.

  ‘You mean about the revelation that you’ve been lying to me all this time?’

  He sighed.

  ‘You’re right, I have been lying to you, and I’m sorry. At first I just wanted to get to know you better, learn some things that might help me to woo you.’

  I suppressed the urge to giggle at the word woo and waited for him to continue. He turned to face me, his knee moving up onto the sofa between us and his arm resting across the back of the sofa.