Burn So Bad

by J. H. Croix

  While I cooked, Lucy sat at the kitchen table watching me. She was wound so tight, she was practically vibrating. The desire between us was heavy in the room. I sensed she was pissed about the existence of that desire. To keep my body in check, I busied myself cooking. I whipped up a simple dinner of chicken quesadillas. She’d done the funniest batch of shopping I’d ever seen. Her choice of groceries informed me she likely didn’t cook. She got this hodgepodge of things, none of which really went together.

  Thank goodness she’d gotten some chicken breasts, tons of cheese and tortillas. When I served her a plate and sat down across from her, her eyes flicked to me, widening. Her sky blue eyes caught mine and reeled me in. I found myself lost in her gaze on a fairly regular basis over the last few days.

  “Oh wow. You can really cook.”

  She looked down at her plate and then back to me.

  “You haven’t even tasted it yet,” I said, unable to resist a grin and a wink.

  Her cheeks flushed. Damn. I loved it when she blushed.

  “Well, I will now,” she said quickly.

  Inside of a second, she was moaning, which did not help matters with my body.

  “Oh my God,” she mumbled between bites. “You really can cook.”

  I chuckled. I’d seasoned the chicken with chipotle peppers and a blend of spices. I’d sprinkled fresh cilantro and topped them with a dollop of sour cream and cheese, and it was delicious. For a late summer evening, it was the perfect meal.

  Lucy devoured everything on her plate. For her small size, she could put away some food. She insisted on cleaning up, all but swatting my hands away when I tried to help. I decided it wasn’t worth arguing the point. After putting everything away in the dishwasher, she spun around, her hands on her hips. Her hair had dried in curly waves while I cooked. Not a lick of make-up on, and she was gorgeous. I loved seeing her with her hair down.

  Of course, even her comfortable clothes swallowed her up. Yet, her generous breasts were impossible to hide. I figured she’d die on the spot if I let on I could see her tight little nipples pressing against the soft cotton of her sweatshirt. It was a damn good thing I was sitting down, otherwise she’d see exactly how hard I was for her.

  She stared at me for a moment, her gaze considering. “Levi…” she began, her words trailing off.

  “Yes Lucy?” I countered when she didn’t say anything else.

  She stepped closer to me where I sat at the table. I was trying to be a gentleman. Hell, I’d called on all of my gentlemanly impulses over the last few days. Trying to give her space, trying not to tease. I knew in passing from Cade she hadn’t had a lick of luck finding a place to stay yet. Which was quite all right with me. Except for the fact that she was driving me slightly crazy. Not because I minded having her around. Rather, the problem was I wanted her. Badly.

  The more she was around, the more of a mystery she became to me. She was wound so tight and so guarded. Initially, I’d been drawn to her because of the challenge she represented. Oh and the plain fact that her mere existence near me was like throwing a lit match into the need burning inside of me.

  I still wanted her, but now I wanted to understand her. The more time I spent around her, the more I sensed her underlying vulnerability. I watched as she stepped closer yet again, her tongue swiping across her bottom lip.

  Oh fuck. She needed to not do things like that. She was only about a foot away from me with her eyes locked to mine. The flush on her cheeks deepened, and she worried the hem of her sweatshirt between her thumb and forefinger. Without thinking, I reached over and curled my hand over hers, wanting to ease her restless energy. Her breath drew in sharply when I touched her. Hot damn. That point of contact was like a bolt of lightning.

  “What are you so anxious about?” I asked, the question slipping out unbidden.

  “I’m not anxious,” she said quickly.

  I wasn’t so sure about that, but I wasn’t inclined to press the point.

  Lucy’s eyes held mine, the blue flashing dark, and the air around us fairly snapping. I expected her to tug away when I’d unconsciously reached for her. After all, this was Lucy, the woman who had dismissed all of my flirting and teasing as if I was nothing more than a gnat to swat away. Hell, if I hadn’t had more confidence, she’d have easily made me feel like an idiot. That was all before I got to know her better.

  It wasn’t as if she’d chatted much with me over the last few days. Simply being around her and realizing her prickly exterior was a defense, I could see the softness underneath. Underneath was also a fiery, passionate woman. That’s what had drawn me to her before. My proximity to her had only heightened my sense of her. My body‘s response to her was raw and primal.

  I’d forced myself to take a step back and not engage in my usual teasing manner. If only because I had to keep myself on a very tight leash. My grip on that leash slipped just now, my reflex to ease her restlessness overpowering everything else. Yet now that I’d actually touched her again, the contact was a jolt to my body, striking me at my core and electrifying the air around us.

  Lucy stared at me, her lips parting and her breath hitching again. Fuck me. She was the sexiest woman I’d ever known. I tried to order my hand to release hers. Yet, my hand wasn’t listening. The sky blue of her eyes darkened almost to navy. I could see her pulse fluttering along the fair skin of her neck. Her nipples were tight, and it was all I could do not to tug her to me and tear that sweatshirt off of her, so I could feel her curves against me.

  Surprisingly, her hand relaxed in mine. Moving solely on instinct, I reeled her to me. I wasn’t thinking. At all. She was so small, a petite bundle of curves. Inside of a hot second, she was standing between my knees, her face just above mine where I was sitting. I almost laughed. Because I loved that about her, the contradiction of her petite size, her delectable curves, her fiery personality, and the sheer power of her presence.

  Since I wasn’t thinking, I sure as hell didn’t expect her to reach out and trace her fingertips along one of my brows and then down along my cheek to my jaw. The trail of her touch was a line of fire on my skin.

  “I hate that I want you,” Lucy said, her eyes flashing.

  “I don’t.” I countered. “In fact, I love it.”

  Chapter Ten

  Lucy

  I stared at Levi, watching as his mouth curled into a grin, my belly executing a slow flip at the sight of it. Inside, I was a storm of emotions and need. I hadn’t been able to resist touching him. He was a beautiful man. In a rugged, elemental way. My fingertips had come to rest along the stubble at his jawline. His lips were beckoning me. If I’d thought I could get a grip on myself and the need roaring through me, I was so very, very wrong.

  At the sight of his dangerous grin, my belly tightened and need spun tightly inside. I was hot all over, so hot I could barely stand. I felt like melted wax near him, the fire between us softening me, while also making me want him more than I’d ever wanted anyone in my life.

  I tried to be angry, but his grin was irresistible. Before I knew it, I was grinning in return. His hand had been holding mine right beside my hip. He eased his grip, his palm sliding around my hip and cupping my bottom.

  “There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone Lucy,” he said.

  I knew that of course. There absolutely wasn’t anything wrong with wanting someone. I just hated how out of control I felt when I was near him.

  I wished my brain had a fire alarm. I needed one, one just for Levi. The alarm could go off and let me know I needed to run. But I couldn’t hold the heat back. The need inside built with such intensity, I couldn’t turn away. So when he pulled me a little closer as he sat there—still bare chested, mind you—all of my defenses were useless.

  I stood there, my body humming and my sex clenching. I could barely breathe as my pulse pounded so hard and fast, I was certain he could hear it.

  Somehow, the act of him cooking me dinner—such a domestic, mundane event—had struck me at my
core and wiped away the last of my resistance. My hand slid into his hair, and I dipped my head. If I was going to be stupid, I might as well go all in. The moment my lips met his, I went from hot to burning. I hesitated at the point of contact. In all honesty, I hadn’t had a ton of experience with kissing. It was too intimate, so I avoided it as much as I could. It was fair to say no man had blown me away with kissing. But Levi. Oh. My. Fucking. God.

  Levi’s hand cupped my bottom more firmly, pulling me flush against him. With him seated in the chair and me standing between his knees, every inch of his muscled chest was against me. It was glorious. I could feel his cock hard and hot just below the apex of my thighs. I’d wanted to touch him for forever it seemed. My burning, raw, aching desire could no longer be held back. One hand slid down over his muscled shoulder while the other coasted across the sculpted planes of his chest. I ignored my bulky brace. If Levi even noticed it, he didn’t give any indication.

  It felt as if he were waiting a beat to see what I was going to do. When I moaned at the feel of him under my touch, a low growl escaped from his throat, and his grip tightened as he pulled me closer. His tongue swept into my mouth, eliciting another moan from me. Sweet hell. I felt like I’d been waiting forever for this kiss. His lips were soft and mobile, his command of our kiss complete. By no means was I passive. My body was moving on its own as my tongue tangled with his. I couldn’t get close enough fast enough. Suddenly, he tore his lips free and leaned back.

  “Lucy,” he said, his gravelly voice sending shivers through me.

  I managed to open my eyes, so stunned I’d kissed Levi, I almost couldn’t speak. My heartbeat was thundering in my ears. I could feel the moisture between my thighs. I was so aroused, I could barely think past it.

  His gaze was locked to mine, the rich blue darkened to navy. Simply looking at him made my sex clench. We stared at each other, our breathing ragged in the quiet kitchen, the hum of the dishwasher the only other sound in the room.

  “Do you want this?” Levi asked.

  I swallowed, my mind a jumble, my internal state a tornado of need, sensation, and confusion. I wanted to say I didn’t want this, but I wanted it so fiercely I couldn’t bring myself to say otherwise.

  I struggled to catch my breath, all the while I couldn’t force myself to move away from him. Being close to him felt too delicious. Hot and hard, so much better than my dreams. And let me tell you, those had been some amazing dreams.

  When I didn’t say anything, he leaned back, his hand loosening in my hair.

  “I’m only asking because you did tell me to fuck off before,” he said bluntly, his gaze holding mine.

  His words felt like a dare. I swallowed and gathered myself. “I know,” I finally managed to say, my voice coming out in a breathy whisper.

  “So you don’t want to tell me to fuck off now?”

  I stared at him, trying to jumpstart my brain. But thought was hard to come by. I felt my head shaking back and forth before I realized that’s what I was doing. Still, he simply looked at me.

  “In your court,” he said softly.

  My heart was pounding so hard, it felt as if it was going to fly out of my chest. The need for Levi was coiled so tightly inside of me, it was a force beyond reckoning. I told myself to step back, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to move away from him.

  Rather than words, I slid my hand back up to his hair, tangling my fingers in his silky locks and dipping my head. It was strange, as small as I was, to have him seated and me standing almost level with him. It felt as if he was trying to make sure I consciously did this. That was both empowering and annoying as hell. Because I wanted to forget myself, to lose myself in this and in him. Then his lips were on mine again and his hands were pulling me close. His fingers traced along the curve of my bottom, so close to that sweet spot between my thighs, I almost cried out.

  He slipped a hand under my sweatshirt, the calloused surface of his palm sending sparks skittering along my skin as a low moan escaped. I barely recognized myself. I was frantic, anything to meld myself with him—with Levi, a man I’d desperately tried to persuade myself I didn’t want.

  In the far reaches of my mind, a voice whispered, reminding me I’d wanted him from the start and that’s why I’d hated when he flirted with me. Something about my first sexual experience had messed with my head. It wasn’t as if it was awful, but something about that event colliding with my father hitting me had fucked me up inside. I wasn’t afraid of sex. I’d even had it more than a few times since then, yet every encounter was rather ho-hum. The electricity I felt with Levi, that subtle hum in my body with him—as if I was a tuning fork for him and him alone—was something I’d never felt before.

  Aside from the whacked part of me when it came to sex, I was determined not to depend on any man. Ever.

  I’d seen firsthand how that went for my mother. It was a disaster. But the fire flashing into flames between Levi and me was stronger than my determination to stay away. I couldn’t think rationally. My defenses were burning to ash. All I could think of was the feel of Levi’s hard body under my touch, of the hot need knotted at the apex of my thighs, and a few too many dreams where he’d been buried deep inside me.

  I dimly came into awareness, straddling his lap. His cock was hard and hot against my pussy through the thin fabric of my sweatpants and the denim of his jeans, so insistent, so present, and so hard and thick.

  Levi murmured my name as his mouth closed over one of my nipples, sending pleasure in a jolt through me. I felt crazy. Something about him saying my name nudged me out of the wild place inside. For a flicker, awareness sliced through. I realized what I’d been about to do. I dragged my eyes open to see my sweatshirt on the floor. My nipples were damp from his wicked tongue. I ached for him, every inch of him.

  Startled, I scrambled off of his lap and snatched my sweatshirt off the floor, tugging it over my head, swearing when the sleeve caught on my brace. I knew I looked like a wild woman. My hair was a mess, my clothes were barely together, and I was flushed all over.

  I looked toward Levi. He hadn’t moved from where he sat on the chair. His golden hair was a tousled mess, his eyes dark, and his lips damp. My willful eyes trailed over his chest, landing on his lap where his arousal was blatant. I hadn’t even realized I’d torn his jeans open. His cock was outlined against his black briefs. He was the sexiest man I’d ever seen.

  I needed to get the hell out of here.

  “This wasn’t a good idea,” I said abruptly.

  Oh. My. God. I sounded like a crazy idiot. Levi simply nodded. For a beat, I thought he was about to say something. I didn’t wait. I spun away and dashed up the stairs.

  I actually ran away from him. Slamming the bedroom door shut behind me, I tried to catch my breath.

  Oh my God, I can’t believe I just did that.

  What the hell was I thinking?

  I scrubbed my hands over my face and pushed away from the door quickly, locking it and crossing my arms across my chest. I began pacing in a semi circle around the bed. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  I was mortified, so embarrassed I could hardly calm down. It suddenly occurred to me that Levi could probably hear my frantic pacing. I plunked down on the end of the bed, curled my knees up against my chest and hugged them, staring at myself in the mirror across from the bed. I didn’t know how I calmed myself down, but I managed. Mostly because I had no other choice. The worse option was to try to face Levi. I convinced myself a night of sleep might help me forget that I’d come within a hairsbreadth of fucking him. He’d been right there with me, every step of the way.

  Chapter Eleven

  Lucy

  I fell into a restless sleep, my body still reverberating from the echoes of desire. I came awake later, rolling my head sideways to look at the clock. It was just past one in the morning and blessedly dark. Even in late summer, the days were still long in Alaska. The sun didn’t set until close to ten at night.

  I woke from another heated drea
m about the one and only star of my dreams the last few nights—Levi. My panties were drenched, simply moving my legs sent a streak of pleasure through me as I lay there trying to catch my breath. I wondered if it was actually possible to have an orgasm while you were asleep. It was that bad. My body felt as if it were on the precipice of one. This was the fourth time that I’d woken from a crazy hot sex dream and wanted to bury my fingers in my pussy.

  My good hand had a mind of its own, and in seconds, my fingers were teasing between my thighs. I gasped at the slick wetness, my hips arching into my own touch. But it wasn’t enough. And I knew it. I didn’t want to be a coward. More than that, I wanted Levi with such ferocity, I couldn’t deny it.

  I kicked the sheets back and stood. My mind was fuzzy from sleep and nearly delirious with need. I wore nothing other than a thin cotton t-shirt and panties. I dashed out of my bedroom and around to the other side of the loft.

  Levi slept with his door partially open. Slipping into his bedroom, a shadow scurried past my feet, and I realized it was Ham. He was a rather adventurous little hamster. Not even his presence nudged me out of my state. I was going to see this through and excise Levi from my thoughts.

  I walked to the side of Levi’s bed, looking down. He was on his back, one of his arms thrown over his head. The sheets were bunched at his waist. I wondered fleetingly if he had dreams anything like the dreams I had.

  Crawling onto the bed beside him, I trailed my fingers over his chest. I didn’t wait, my body was too restless. Straddling him, I almost groaned aloud to discover that his cock was already hard. My drenched panties and the thin sheet covering him were the only thing between us. My pussy throbbed knowing how close I was to finally finding release.