Burn So Bad

by J. H. Croix

  We stared at each other in the cool evening air, the sounds from the bar drifting out over the lake. After a beat, she opened her mouth and then snapped it shut. She crossed her arms across her chest, her cheeks flushing slightly.

  “Oh my God. That was dumb,” she announced, almost as if she were talking to herself. She took a ragged breath and looked away. “I can’t believe this.” Her eyes swung back to me. “I hate this,” she muttered.

  “Hate what?”

  “This… this thing with us. I hate that I want you. It’s annoying and stupid and you make me crazy. The good kind of crazy and the bad kind.”

  Ah, so we were back to how much she hated the fact we had some serious chemistry. I knew there was no great way to resolve that, so I elected to address the part I could.

  “It’s no big deal. You have the perfect excuse. You can say you were drunk and joking. If you want, I’ll tell Amelia there’s no way in hell we had sex. Just tell me what to do.”

  As she stared at me, I saw the barest hint of vulnerability flickering in her gaze. I wanted her. Badly. I couldn’t say how it had come to this point so swiftly, but everything just felt right with her.

  My father had always told me I would know when it was the right woman. Back when I was a teenager and didn’t give a damn, all I wanted was sex. My father made a point of letting me know that having fun was perfectly fine, but to always treat women with respect. Yet, he’d insisted someday I’d come across the right woman, and I would know. Back then, I’d dismissed him as a silly romantic.

  My father adored my mother and insisted their marriage was one for the ages—his words, not mine. He doted on her to the point I’d thought he was ridiculous when I was younger. My mother was a strong willed, independent woman, but she adored him too.

  As I stared back at Lucy, for the first time, I considered that perhaps my father wasn’t crazy. There was just something about her. Hell if I knew why. I could easily explain my attraction to her. She took my breath away. Yet, she was guarded, prickly and a challenge the likes I’d never considered worth it. With her though, I didn’t even think twice about the effort.

  Between my initial chasing after her and getting shot down and then last night, I knew there was something there, something I hadn’t felt with anyone. I wanted to wall away the world and tell her not to worry. Because she always seemed worried, as if she was ready to fight the world, whether the fight was necessary or not. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and tell her to let go, to simply forget the rest of the world with me. Yet, I didn’t dare. Not now. I knew if I pushed too far, too fast, she’d shut me out.

  In that vein, I would happily lie for her about the fact we were burning the sheets up. I would wait until she was comfortable before staking my claim publicly. She surprised me though.

  After studying me for a moment, she shook her head sharply. “No, that’s stupid. Amelia knows me too well. I don’t know why I went and said that, but I can face the music.” She sighed, her shoulders curling in. “I guess you have to give me a ride now.”

  “I was already giving you a ride, Lucy,” I said, softening my tone. “Not because I’m bossing you around and telling you what to do, but because I’d give any friend who might’ve had a few too many beers a ride home. Well, that and Amelia would kick my ass if I didn’t.”

  A soft smile claimed her lips as she nodded. “We can’t have that. She could take you too.”

  I chuckled, pushing off the back of her truck. Lucy turned and started walking across the parking lot.

  I called out, “Need anything from your truck?”

  “Nope!”

  Her voice lilted with the word, carrying to me and winding its way around my heart. Fuck. She’d barreled straight into my heart. I needed to play this hand just right, or she’d run so far and so fast, I’d never catch her.

  I jogged to catch up and reached my truck first, opening the passenger door for her. She climbed in quickly and leaned her head back with a sigh. She was quiet on the drive home through the darkness. When I pulled up at my house, I glanced over to see she was sound asleep.

  Her face was relaxed in sleep, the moonlight limning her features. One hand was curled against her chin, while the other—still in its brace—rested on her lap. My heart clenched. I climbed out quietly, hoping I didn’t wake her when I shut the door gently. Rounding the truck, I found her still sound asleep when I opened the passenger door. Bundling her against me, I carried her inside.

  She was warm and relaxed in my arms as I carefully closed the door with my boot. Walking upstairs, Ham came scurrying over, sniffing at my feet and looking up at Lucy.

  “Hey Ham, how ya been?” I whispered.

  After another sniff, Ham meandered away and leapt on a shelf by the window where I kept one of the wheels he liked to run on. He climbed into a little nest of fabric there and settled in to look out into the darkness.

  I paused, considering whether I should take Lucy to the guest bedroom or mine. To be honest, I didn’t ponder this long and quickly carried her into my bedroom, if only because I wanted to fall sleep beside her again.

  I took off her boots and jeans and somehow even managed to get her bra off. After tucking her under the covers in her t-shirt and underwear, I quickly stripped down to my briefs and climbed in beside her. She was still asleep, her breathing steady and even. On the heels of a soft exhalation, she draped herself against me, hooking one of her knees over my legs and burrowing her head against my shoulder.

  With her warm, lush body curled against mine, I drifted into sleep, contemplating it would be perfectly fine, hell it would be far better than fine, to fall sleep like this with her every night.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lucy

  I came awake slowly. Levi’s bedroom was dark, save the soft glow from the night light beside the bed. He was curled up behind me. I was so warm and relaxed, I couldn’t help but savor how protected I felt wrapped tight in his embrace.

  I could feel his arousal pressing against my bottom and the slick heat between my thighs. It didn’t seem to matter whether I was awake or asleep, my body responded to him. I wanted him. Badly.

  As if to illustrate the point, without my brain even forming a thought, I shifted my hips, pressing back into the hard, hot length of his cock. I almost moaned aloud.

  There were fuzzy fragments of the sleepy memory of him carrying me inside, but I didn’t remember him undressing me.

  My thoughts were hazy, sleepy, and soaked with desire. Too many nights of waking up yearning for him without having him near me were only exacerbated by his willing body curled up behind me.

  When I wiggled my hips again, I felt his body come awake with a subtle hum of tension. His palm was resting on my belly, warm against my skin. His touch slid up to cup one of my breasts, his thumb teasing my nipple.

  I shifted my legs restlessly, the need contained in my core building. It was as if we’d already had hours of foreplay when we’d simply been sleeping.

  Levi murmured something into my hair and then shifted, removing his hand from my breast and out from under my shirt. Brushing my tangled hair away from my neck, he dusted kisses there. I didn’t know what was worse, the fact that I moaned instantly and my skin prickled in the wake of his touch. Or the fact that I was almost bereft with disappointment to have his touch abandon my breast.

  Another moan escaped as his teeth closed softly on the sensitive skin just behind my ear. His hand got busy again pushing my shirt up to tease my nipples, all the while his hips rocked, his cock pressing into the cleft of my bottom.

  I reached between us with my good hand, curling my palm over his cock through the thin cotton of his briefs. He growled my name into my neck, sending a wash of goose bumps over my entire body. Heat spun wildly in my belly, radiating outward as pleasure scored through me. I was torn. I wanted everything all at once. I didn’t want him to stop touching me anywhere. His touch, sure and stealthy, slid down over my belly and into my panties, his fingers dipping
into the slick heat there. I was drenched, so wet his fingers slid in easily as my hips bucked into his touch.

  He drove his fingers into me deeply, first one and then another, stretching my channel and making me nearly frantic for more. His name fell from my lips with a gasp and a cry. Need coiled so tightly inside, I didn’t want to wait. Then he was shoving my panties down my legs, and I kicked them loose under the covers.

  I felt him roll away from me. My body was like a seeking missile, instantly following his.

  “Where are you going?” I asked, my voice breathy and demanding at once.

  Perhaps a second passed before he was rolling back to me, and I heard the sound of foil tearing. I felt the hot velvety skin of his cock pressing against my bare bottom as he shimmied out of his briefs.

  He rolled a condom on and reached between us, the calloused surface of his palm caressing my bottom. He murmured my name as he slid his cock between my thighs. He teased me, dragging the thick head of his cock back and forth between my slick folds, coasting over my clit.

  All the while, he made me wild with need. I was so wet, juices from my desire were coating the insides of my thighs. I didn’t care that I was murmuring, gasping, crying out and calling his name.

  “Stop torturing me,” I choked out.

  With a soft chuckle, he finally sank inside of me in one slow slide. He held still for a beat, rocking his hips and seating himself deeply. My channel throbbed around him. It felt so good to have him filling me, I sighed in relief and pleasure.

  Levi brushed my hair back again, tracing my brows. As he trailed his fingertip down my cheek, his touch feather light, his teeth closed down on the side of my neck, just sharp enough to make me cry out. When his finger traced my lips, I caught it in my teeth, drawing it in, swirling my tongue around it and mimicking his motion as he drew back and sank into my pussy again.

  There was spooning, and then there was this—Levi curled up tight behind me, his cock buried deeply inside as we slowly rocked together. He drew his finger free of my mouth, his wet touch trailing down to tease my nipples and pinching them lightly. I was so close to the edge, my pussy soaking wet as he drew back and sank inside with nothing more than a subtle adjustment of his hips. Pleasure tightened inside of me. His touch, strong and knowing, slid down over my belly, into my curls and pressed over my clit.

  Pleasure unspooled in slow motion inside of me, rolling through me in wave after wave, rocking me to my very bones. I was crying out, incoherent as I gasped his name and my pussy clamped down on his cock. I felt his release as his cock pulsed inside of me.

  We stilled together. His hand slid up to rest on my belly as our breath slowed. I relaxed in his embrace, feeling better than I could remember ever feeling in the middle of the night—utterly and completely satiated. Warm, safe, and protected. It distantly occurred to me I should be worried, but I felt too good to care.

  In the darkness, I could feel his heart pounding against my back, its beat strong and sure. He drew away, just long enough to dispose of his condom before returning.

  “Lucy?” he asked, his voice husky.

  “Mmm, hmm?”

  “I didn’t expect this,” he said gruffly.

  I didn’t know how to respond to that. I held still and then surprised myself with my own words.

  “I know. Me neither.”

  I fell asleep with him curled up behind me, holding me close.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Lucy

  I sat at a small round table in Firehouse Café, nibbling on one of Janet’s delicious wild blueberry scones. I tried and failed to keep my mind occupied by staring out the window. With Firehouse Café situated smack in the middle of downtown Willow Brook on Main Street, there were plenty of people to watch. At the moment, two teenage siblings were arguing over who was riding in the front seat while their mother ignored them as she loaded up luggage into the back of the hatchback.

  Despite this potential distraction, my thoughts were churning and had been all morning. Amelia was meeting me here, and I was mortified in anticipation of seeing her. I still couldn’t quite believe I’d announced Levi and I had sex to her and Cade last night. Just thinking about it now, my cheeks heated.

  Janet slipped into the chair across from me at the table, handing me my coffee.

  “Morning dear. You look, I dunno, a little off this morning. You doing okay?” she asked.

  Janet’s warm brown eyes held a hint of concern. With flour dusted on her apron, her silver hair pulled atop her head with a pencil, she evinced an air of warmth. Not to mention, she always smelled good simply because she was a phenomenal baker and carried the scent of sugar and cinnamon with her.

  I shrugged. “I was out late last night, that’s all.”

  I sure as hell wasn’t about to announce to her what was really going on, namely I was screwing Levi and couldn’t seem to keep my hands off of him. I could barely even think about last night. It wasn’t the getting tipsy and blurting out that I had sex with him to Amelia and Cade on speakerphone, it wasn’t that Levi carried me to his bed, and I didn’t remember getting there. None of these things were weighing on me beyond minor embarrassment.

  Rather, what was weighing on me was all about how I felt when I was with Levi. My mind spun back to last night—to waking up with him curled around me, his arousal pressing against my bottom with me already soaked with need. Our encounter had been this sleepy, hot, dreamy sex. It had been so slow, deep, and intense, I blushed even thinking about it now. My orgasm had started at my toes and rolled through me, shattering me at my core. I could still feel myself falling back to sleep with him curled up tight against me and his lips on my neck.

  I didn’t know how long we slept after that because I had no idea what time it was. I came awake when I heard his on-call pager beeping on the nightstand by the bed. He’d dropped a kiss on my neck and reluctantly drawn away. I’d instantly ached for his presence and climbed out of bed to make him coffee. With Ham following me curiously down the stairs, I’d fed him first with some lettuce and carrots before starting a pot of coffee.

  When Levi walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, the smile that claimed his lips gave my heart a swift kick.

  Janet cleared her throat, rather audibly, effectively nudging me out of my reverie. I was all kinds of out of sorts this morning. I took a gulp of my coffee, lifting my mug in gratitude. “Delicious, as always.”

  Janet merely nodded. “Seen your mom lately?”

  “Couple of weeks ago,” I offered. I wasn’t sure how much Janet really knew about what had gone down with my family before my mom and I moved here. I was glad Janet was friends with my mom, but I wasn’t sure what she expected of us.

  I surprised myself with my question. “What do you ask about my mom for? You see her more than me probably.”

  It was hard to surprise Janet, but this did the trick. Her eyes widened slightly, yet she didn’t miss a beat. She cocked her head to the side. “I love you hon, and I love your mom. I hope maybe you two could get past everything that happened before you moved here.”

  Ah, so perhaps my mother had given a few clues. “Look, we’re at peace. I’m not walking around holding a grudge. We’re just not that close. Things were really, well, shitty with my dad. I don’t know how much she’s told you about that.”

  “Hon, I think she’s told me everything. Let me give you the short version. Your dad beat the shit out of her sometimes, he was emotionally abusive, and he ignored you. She shoulda left when you were a little girl, and she didn’t. He finally beat the shit out of you one day, and she lost you because she couldn’t make the right decision at the time. The way she tells it, she didn’t have the strength. I’m not saying that’s right, but it is what it is. By the time she found the strength to leave, she was afraid it was too late.”

  I stared at Janet, my heart feeling funny in my chest. She wasn’t saying anything I didn’t already know. Yet, hearing it spelled out so succinctly and knowing my mother had spoken thi
s directly about it made me sad. I was okay. I really was. I had moved on and scabbed over the scrapes and bumps my childhood had left on me.

  Honestly, my childhood wasn’t something I dwelled on, probably because it always hurt a little. I had enough sense to know I couldn’t change the past, so I simply tried to accept it. Not certain what to say to Janet, I simply nodded and took another swallow of my coffee.

  “I’m glad she has a friend like you,” I finally said.

  Janet reached across the table to squeeze my hand before standing and adjusting her apron. “I wasn’t trying to pry. Just letting you know she doesn’t expect anything from you. Maybe it will help you to know she understands where you’re coming from.”

  With a warm smile, she changed the subject. “Amelia meeting you here soon?”

  “Yep, I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.”

  As if conjured by name, the bell jingled over the café door, and I glanced over to see Amelia entering. She gave a wave and strode up to the counter. Janet squeezed my shoulder and hurried over. I returned to nibbling on my scone.

  Within moments, Amelia walked over, shrugging her jacket off as she slipped into the chair across from me. I took a fortifying gulp of coffee, figuring I’d best cut to the chase.

  “So I was a little tipsy last night when I said that, but it’s true,” I said flatly.

  Amelia’s eyes narrowed, and I saw a hint of mirth in them. “It doesn’t surprise me.”

  My cheeks got hot. I was embarrassed, but it would pass. Amelia might tease me, but I knew that would be all it was. I rolled my eyes. “Why doesn’t it surprise you?”

  “Because he’s had a thing for you forever, and it’s obvious you like him too.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What?! How is that obvious?”

  Amelia grinned. “You two are like kids. He teases you, and you get all bitchy. It’s not like other guys haven’t tried to get you to go out with them, but only Levi gets under your skin. Let’s face it, he’s handsome as hell. He’s not for me, but you can’t deny it,” she said with a laugh.