Dying To Tell

by Beevis, Keri

  ‘I overreacted. I didn’t mean what I said.’

  ‘You didn’t mean it?’ she repeated, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

  ‘That’s what I said.’

  ‘Oh, right. So now you’ve changed your mind and you didn’t mean to be rude to me, and I’m supposed to be okay with that?’

  ‘I had just put my sister in the ground. Jesus, give me a break!’ The words came out harsher than he’d intended, but he saw the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes as she wavered, her scowl softening as she considered his words. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, I… can we please talk somewhere private? Five minutes, that’s all I ask, then you can tell me to go to hell if you want.’

  ‘Is everything okay out here?’ A dark-haired woman came through from the kitchen. She was wearing the same yellow uniform as Lila, her look wary as she eyed Jack.

  ‘I’m fine, Natalie.’ Lila hesitated. ‘Actually, do you mind if I take my break?’

  ‘Of course.’ Natalie’s eyes were still on Jack, full of questions, though she didn’t ask them. ‘I’ll get Beth to cover.’

  ‘Thanks, Nat.’ Lila turned to Jack. ‘There’s a park area across the road.’

  ‘Okay.’

  He waited for her to get her crutches, stepped ahead to hold the door open for her then followed her over to the park. Not so much a park than an area of grass flanked on three sides by houses, with a boating lake that looked like it hadn’t been used in a while, and a handful of benches and tables. There were a few people milling about, but it was quieter than on the esplanade. Lila picked an empty bench, propped her crutches against a nearby table and sat down. They hadn’t spoken since leaving the café and the air between them was tense. Jack guessed he couldn’t blame her for her hostility. He wasn’t proud of how he had treated her on their last encounter.

  ‘Stephanie used to like coming here. She loved the beach, loved all of this coastline.’

  When Lila simply stared at him, fingers laced, waiting for him to continue, Jack slipped into the seat facing her.

  ‘There’s a whole brood of us, Foleys, Whitmans. When my parents split up, I didn’t think Tom and I would be getting any more siblings, but then Mum married Henry and had Alyssa, Oliver and Stephanie. I was seventeen when Steph was born, already finished with school and studying for my A levels. She was the baby of the bunch and I guess I felt more protective towards her. She didn’t always see eye to eye with Henry; she could be headstrong and he’s a tough old bastard at the best of times. They would fight and she would come to me. I always had her back. Except this time I didn’t. She was only seventeen. Her whole life was still ahead of her.’

  When Jack paused, needing a moment, the image of his bright, bold, vivacious sister clear in his head, Lila spoke.

  ‘It was an accident, an awful accident. I know you’re angry, I know you’re grieving, but two people lost their lives that night and no-one is to blame. It was nobody’s fault.’

  Jack snapped back to the present, looked at her. Her tone had been firm, but her dark eyes were filled with compassion.

  ‘I know that. I know what I said at the funeral, but it was a tough day and I wasn’t thinking clearly. Yes it was an accident, but it shocked me when you showed up. What I just told you, I said it because I wanted you to know Stephanie, to understand what she meant to me, so maybe you will realise why I overreacted. I’m not trying to condone my actions. The way I treated you was wrong and I’m sorry.’

  Lila was silent for a moment. ‘I understand. It hasn’t been a breeze for me either. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m lucky, I survived and I will recover from my injuries. It’s going to take time. Every day though I ask myself, why me? Why was I the lucky one? I feel guilty as hell knowing that a seventeen-year-old girl died, while I got to live. I’m grateful to be here, but I still feel guilty.’

  ‘Do you remember much about the accident?’

  ‘I don’t remember anything.’ When Jack arched a brow, she continued. ‘I’d been out on a date with Mark. You called him my boyfriend. He wasn’t. I’d never met him before that night. A friend had fixed us up and I remember being nervous.’

  ‘About meeting him?’

  ‘I don’t do that kind of thing.’

  ‘Date?’

  ‘Not in a while.’ She looked uncomfortable, a little embarrassed even. ‘I’m too busy with work. Besides, this was a blind date. I definitely don’t do that kind of thing.’

  ‘So why did you go?’

  ‘My friend bullied me into it. I agreed to shut her up. Then it was too late to back out. I knew within ten seconds of meeting Mark that we weren’t going to get along.’

  ‘How so?’

  ‘Because he was arrogant and condescending, and it was obvious he thought he was better than me. I wanted to stay local, go to a pub in Norwich, but he insisted on driving out to the coast. I don’t remember much of the evening, but I know I hadn’t enjoyed it, that I couldn’t wait to get home.’ She shrugged. ‘And that’s pretty much it. Then I woke in hospital.’

  ‘You don’t remember anything about the ride home?’

  ‘I’ve had a couple of flashbacks since coming out of a coma, but they’ve been brief. We were parked in the woods and I was in the car alone. Mark had disappeared, but I didn’t know where.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘And then we were in the car. Something was wrong, but he wouldn’t tell me.’

  ‘Was that after you were parked in the woods?’

  ‘I don’t know. I keep trying to remember, to get it clear in my head, but I can’t.’

  ‘Have you told your doctor?’

  ‘Yes, apparently it’s common. The memories will probably come back, but there’s no timescale. I know it was an accident, but I feel there’s something I should be remembering about that night. Something important.’

  Lila huffed out a sigh, the frustration clear on her face as she ran her fingers up through her fringe, pushing it away from her forehead, and Jack spotted the bruising where she must have hit her head in the accident.

  Noticing he was staring at her, she self-consciously pulled her fringe back into place, sat up straighter. ‘Filby is a distance from Cley. How come your sister was out that way?’

  ‘We’re not sure. She’d been fighting with Henry a lot the last few weeks. My mum and sister say she had been moody and withdrawn. I didn’t see her in those last couple of weeks. I’d been away. She texted a few times, asked if she could come stay for a bit when I got back. It never happened. I was on my way home when I heard about the accident.’

  Lila’s eyes met his. ‘I can’t even begin to imagine how it felt hearing that news.’

  It had been hell: shock, disbelief, numbness followed by waves of anger, despair and grief. The numbness had been the worst, that and having to watch everyone going about their lives as if this terrible thing hadn’t happened. He didn’t say it though.

  ‘She liked to drive. She only passed her test six months ago. Henry bought her a car and she loved it. Whenever she needed to get away, blow off some steam, she would go for a drive. We think that’s probably what she was doing the night it happened.’

  For another moment, he was lost in thoughts of his sister, thinking of the paths of fate that had led her to the wrong place at the wrong time. A warm hand on top of his, gently squeezing in comfort, had him pulling sharply back to the present. He must have stared at Lila in shock, because she looked mortified, quickly withdrawing her hand as colour crept into her cheeks.

  ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It was inappropriate.’

  She wrung her hands together, sat straight backed when he continued to stare at her.

  Lila Amberson was certainly nothing like he had imagined when he had read about her after the accident. For starters the picture they had used in the press did her few favours, but it was more than that; she radiated warmth. He barely knew her, had met her just twice, but she had reached out to him when he hadn’t deserved it,
and his instincts told him she was both kind and genuine.

  ‘I… I should get back to work.’ She pulled her hands off the table, shoved them in her pockets, and her expression changed to one of recollection. ‘The locket.’ She pulled a silver chain from her pocket, dangled it in front of him.

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘It was with my belongings when I came home from the hospital, but it’s not mine. I believe it belongs to your sister.’

  Jack frowned, opening it, not recognising either the locket or the picture of the woman inside. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘It has the initial S on it.’ Lila held it in her palm so he could see. ‘It has to be Stephanie’s. They brought us in together and must have got our things muddled up. I was going to post it, but you’re here, so…’

  ‘Okay, thanks.’ Jack took the locket, slipped it in his jeans pocket. So he didn’t recognise it. He didn’t know every piece of jewellery Stephanie had owned. Maybe it was something Henry had given to her and the photo was of one of his relatives.

  He got to his feet, picked up Lila’s crutches in one hand, held out the other to help her up from the bench. She hesitated, looked a little embarrassed again before taking it.

  ‘I appreciate you giving me five minutes,’ he told her as they walked back to the road. ‘And I’m sorry again for everything.’

  Her smile was fleeting, though her eyes remained warm. ‘It’s okay. I understand why you reacted how you did. I should have stayed away from the funeral. I’m sorry about your sister though. Please know that.’

  ‘I know.’ There was a moment of awkward silence. They had cleared the air and it was unlikely their paths would cross again. ‘Okay, well, my car’s back this way.’ Jack hooked his thumb over his shoulder in the opposite direction to the café. ‘Take care of yourself, Lila Amberson.’

  He offered his hand and she briefly shook it. ‘You too, Jack Foley.’

  And then she was stumbling away on her crutches and out of his life. Jack watched her for a second, saw her disappear into a crowd of tourists, and he turned to walk back to his car.

  He had barely gone ten yards when he heard the slam of brakes and the screaming, and his head shot round in time to see Lila lying in the road in front of a bus before the sea of people gathering around her blocked his view.

  7

  Lila stared up at the group of people surrounding her, blinked a couple of times. She must have blacked out, though for the briefest of seconds.

  She was aware of the noise, the chatter around her, people asking if she was okay, the sound of a baby crying, someone barking out instructions to call an ambulance. She tried to find her voice, to tell them she was fine, that she didn’t need one. She had just stumbled, lost her footing while crossing the road.

  But that made no sense. She hadn’t been crossing the road. She had said goodbye to Jack, was making her way through a crowd of people, someone had knocked into her.

  Not knocked into her, they had pushed her into the path of the bus.

  Jeans, dark hoodie, walking closely beside her: she recalled him because she’d thought it odd he had his hood up on a warm day. He had started to pass her, but turned into her at the last moment, elbowing her hard in the ribs, making her lose her footing.

  She tried to sit up, was aware of hands pushing her back down.

  ‘You mustn’t move, love. You need to stay still until the ambulance gets here.’

  ‘She stepped in front of me!’ An angry male voice, the bus driver, Lila presumed. ‘It was her fault. There was nothing I could have done.’

  Lila glanced up at the bus looming over her. It had hit her, but he must’ve braked sharply. One of her crutches had caught beneath the front wheel, the metal pole grotesquely twisted. She stared at it numbly; aware it could have been her.

  ‘Let me through.’ Another raised voice, but this one she recognised.

  Jack Foley.

  And then he was in front of her, crouching down, concern on his face.

  ‘Lila, what the hell happened? Are you okay?’

  She found her voice. ‘I was pushed.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Someone pushed me.’ This time she spoke louder, more urgently, heard a few murmurs in the crowd. ‘He was wearing a dark hoodie. I remember him. I wondered why he had his hood up on a hot day. He didn’t want me to see his face.’

  Jack’s eyes narrowed as he took in her words then he was on his feet, scanning the crowd. ‘I see him. Hey?’

  ‘Jack!’

  It was too late. He had already gone.

  ‘Get them to send the police as well.’ A blonde woman was barking orders at a man wearing a Norwich City shirt, who had a phone to his ear.

  The paramedics arrived first, checking her over and wanting to take her to hospital. Lila insisted she was fine, knew it was likely the adrenaline making her feel that way, but really not wanting to go back to hospital. They made her promise to visit her doctor the following day.

  By the time the police car arrived, she was back in Nat’s Hideaway, sitting in a booth drinking tea and being fussed over by Beth and Natalie as a baby-faced constable took her statement. Lila had just signed it when Jack burst through the door, looking a little out of breath.

  ‘Ooh, hello.’ Beth winked at Lila, earning herself a scowl.

  ‘Did you get him?’ Lila demanded.

  Jack shook his head, dropped into the seat opposite them. ‘I lost him down one of the side roads.’

  PC Wallace pulled his pocket book and pen out, paying attention. ‘Sir, I’m going to need to ask you a few questions.’

  Jack shrugged, sat back as Natalie brought over a glass of Coke, setting it down in front of him. He thanked her before she returned to the counter to serve a waiting customer and he turned his attention back to the constable. ‘Okay, go for it.’

  ‘Can I take your name?’

  ‘Jack Foley.’

  ‘As in the author?’ That was from Beth, whose eyes had widened in anticipation.

  Jack glanced at her, snapped out an impatient ‘yes’ before looking pointedly at Wallace.

  The young constable also looked impressed. ‘I’ve read all of your books,’ he told Jack excitedly, as Beth nudged Lila, seeming annoyed because Lila hadn’t disclosed this titbit of information to her.

  Which was of course because she hadn’t known.

  Not that it mattered. So Jack was some hotshot author. It made no difference to her.

  Beth and PC Wallace were viewing him through new eyes though, positively gushing while Jack looked a little bored, as though he had gone through this scenario a hundred times before.

  ‘You said you had some questions,’ he reminded Wallace.

  ‘Err, yes. I did.’ Wallace studied the page in his notebook as though seeking inspiration. ‘Yes, Mr Foley…’

  ‘Jack.’

  ‘Okay, Mr Foley… Jack. You pursued the suspect. Did you see him push Miss Amberson?’

  ‘No. I was walking back to my car and I heard the bus slam on its brakes and people screaming. When I turned back, Lila was lying in the road. She saw who pushed her.’

  Lila hugged her arms around her, recalling the moment. She sipped at her tea, annoyed when her hand shook, rattling the cup against the saucer as she set it down.

  ‘Yes.’ PC Wallace glanced over the statement Lila had signed. ‘Dark hoodie, jeans, and he was wearing the hood up.’

  ‘Correct,’ Jack confirmed.

  ‘And you saw him running away?’

  ‘No, I saw him standing on the edge of the crowd, watching. I guessed it was him because of the hood then he must have seen me looking at him because he bolted.’

  ‘Did you see his face?’

  ‘Nope. He kept the hood up, face down. He didn’t want anyone recognising him.’

  ‘How about his height and build?’

  Jack shrugged. ‘Maybe a couple of inches shorter than me, five-nine, five-ten perhaps, slim build… I guess that doesn’t help much.’r />
  ‘Everything helps, Mr Foley… Jack.’

  ‘He was a runner.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘He was fast. I’m not exactly out of shape, but I chased after him for at least five minutes, maybe longer, and he didn’t flag. He picked up pace when he needed to, was able to lose me.’

  PC Wallace nodded, jotted that down, before going through a few more questions, asking them to contact the station if they remembered anything else.

  Jack got up to shake the constable’s hand, see him out, and Lila took another sip of her drink, sloshing tea over the side of the cup.

  Beth’s eyes narrowed. ‘You’re shaking.’

  ‘So would you be if a bus hit you,’ Natalie pointed out dryly, returning to the table for the constable’s empty glass.

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘She needs something sugary,’ Jack told them, coming back to the booth. ‘It’s the adrenaline rush.’ He pushed his glass of Coke in front of her. ‘Here, drink this.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Lila repeated, embarrassed at all the fuss. ‘Honestly, it’s all a bit of a shock, but I’m okay.’

  ‘You want me to call Elliot?’ Beth asked.

  ‘No, he’s at work. Give me another fifteen minutes and I’ll be fine to go back behind the counter.’

  Natalie was horrified. ‘You’re kidding, right? I’m sending you home.’

  Lila sipped at the Coke, willing the shaking to stop. ‘But I’m fine.’

  ‘No “buts”, Lila. This isn’t up for negotiation. Beth can drive you home. I can cope by myself until she gets back.’

  ‘I’ll take her.’

  Jack’s offer had all three women looking at him.

  ‘You will? I mean…’ Lila stammered. ‘You don’t have to do that.’

  ‘It’s fine.’

  ‘But I live in Norwich. It’s over twenty miles away.’

  ‘I know how far it is. I’ve been there plenty of times before.’ He smiled at Lila, looking amused, and she was suddenly reminded of the Facebook photo with him and his sister. He had looked happy then. This was the first time she had seen him smile since she’d met him. Guilt gnawed at her, remembering that she had snooped on a private memory.