Dying To Tell

by Beevis, Keri

‘I will do, now I know it wasn’t Stephanie’s.’ Lila was quiet for a moment, her mind replaying the lead up to the crash. ‘I had another flashback.’

  ‘You did?’

  ‘I saw it happen.’

  ‘The accident?’ For a brief moment, those blue eyes hardened and Lila wondered if he was mad at her because she hadn’t told him sooner, but then his look softened. ‘You’re shaking.’

  ‘Am I?’ Lila hadn’t noticed, but now Jack had pointed it out she made a conscious effort to still her hands, thrusting them together and placing them in her lap.

  ‘Can you tell me what happened?’

  ‘I was in the car park in the woods by Filby Broad; there’s a little one just past the bridge. Mark was supposed to take me home, but he had stopped there, thought he’d try his luck.’ Lila rolled her eyes, tried to make a joke of it. ‘We argued and I remember he was sulky, got out of the car, saying he had to pee, and he went off into the woods. I waited and I waited, but he didn’t come back.’ She shuddered, the memory of being alone, bored and a little anxious in that dark car park, unsure what to do, clear in her mind.

  Jack didn’t push her, listening patiently as she recounted what had happened, how Mark had eventually returned to the car, out of breath and panicky, telling Lila they needed to leave, how he had been so agitated he had driven the wrong way, losing control of the car before heading back to the bridge.

  As she spoke, she was right back there in the car, filled with panic and confusion as she tried to reason with Mark, her heart thumping hard, the absolute fear that cloaked her when she spotted the approaching headlights. ‘He was going too fast. I begged him to slow down. I saw her coming, but it was too…’

  Lila struggled with the last sentence, couldn’t quite finish it, the shock fresh in her mind all over again. For a moment, she was alone in the room, emotions of grief, fear, guilt and utter despair threatening to pull her under and she fought to keep control. Slowly, Jack swam back into focus and she saw he was battling his own demons, knew her words would have only brought fresh hurt, that she had twisted the knife that little bit deeper. His mouth was set in a grim line, the pain in his eyes a stark reminder of what he had lost, and she swallowed hard, ordered herself to get her shit together.

  ‘I’m sorry, Jack.’

  He didn’t react until she took hold of his hand again. Like Lila, he had been lost for a moment, probably hadn’t heard her words, but the physical contact brought him back, had him staring at her.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’

  He gave the slightest nod, his fingers tightening around hers. ‘I know.’

  * * *

  ‘In here?’

  ‘Yes, just on the left before the bridge.’

  Jack indicated, slowing as they approached the entrance to the car park and pulled into the wooded clearing, and Lila wondered what thoughts were going through his mind.

  She had been reluctant about returning to the scene of the accident, but Jack had been insistent, suddenly having an overwhelming urge to see the place where his sister had died. Lila had tried to talk him out of it, but his mind was set and she knew he was going with or without her. She couldn’t let him go alone.

  It was already dusk, the car park shrouded in darkness when Jack killed the headlights. He sat in silence for a while before pulling the keys from the ignition and turning to Lila. ‘You can wait here if you want.’

  ‘No thanks.’ Lila shook her head. ‘I’m not being left alone in this car park again.’

  The faintest hint of a smile touched Jack’s lips. ‘Fair enough.’

  Lila followed after him along the path that led to the bridge, trying her best to negotiate her crutches in the low light while keeping up pace with him.

  Jack reached the bridge several seconds ahead of her and she paused beside him on the path, following his line of vision, knew he was looking at the spot where the accident had happened. The flowers that had been left were still there, though most now looked dead. It would probably only be a matter of days before they would be removed, along with the memories of Mark and Stephanie, and life would return to normal for the residents of Filby.

  There was nothing Lila could say to comfort Jack, so she stood in silence beside him on the bridge, the night of the accident replaying in her mind with every car that passed.

  For a long time, he was lost in his own thoughts and Lila was again questioning whether this had been a good idea, but then he turned to look at her. His face was partially hidden in the shadows, but the strain of the grief he had been carrying seemed to have eased, the light blue of his eyes more vivid in the darkness, his look intense as he stared right into her as if seeing her for the first time that day, and Lila’s belly gave an involuntary flip. She mentally kicked herself; annoyed at her reaction and how inappropriate it was in the moment.

  ‘Thank you for coming with me. I know this wasn’t easy for you either.’

  ‘It’s okay.’ It hadn’t been easy, but Jack had needed this, so it was okay with her.

  He kept pace with her on the return walk back into the woods, though neither of them spoke until they reached the car park. Lila waited for him to unlock the car, but instead he glanced in the direction of the footpath that led further into the woods.

  ‘What do you think happened to Mark?’

  ‘I don’t know. Look around you, we’re in the middle of nowhere. If anything had happened I would have heard it.’

  ‘You said he was sulking when he went into the woods, but he was agitated when he returned. That he seemed scared.’

  ‘He was.’

  ‘How long was he gone for?’

  ‘Ten, maybe fifteen minutes.’

  ‘It takes thirty seconds to pee. Even if he purposely took longer to piss you off, we’re talking five minutes at most. Something happened while he was gone. Something spooked him.’

  ‘But what?’

  Lila had considered this. Mark had been hell bent on getting out of Filby the moment he’d returned to the car. If someone or something had been chasing him though, she would have heard them, would have seen them.

  ‘He took this path, right?’

  ‘Yes.’ Lila leant on her crutches, wishing she had brought a jacket. The air was turning cooler as night fell. She let out a sigh of relief when Jack finally strode back towards her and clicked his key at the car. She’d had enough of traipsing around in the woods for one night.

  Before she could get to the car, he had the passenger door open and was reaching in the glovebox. Her heart sank again when he produced a torch, flashed it towards the pathway. ‘We’re not going home yet, are we.’

  12

  ‘You okay?’

  Jack glanced back at Lila, shone the torch on her, checking she was keeping up. He knew that dragging her on a night-time expedition through the woods while on crutches wasn’t wise, but he could hardly leave her in the car, knew she wouldn’t agree to it after what had happened with Mark, and Jack would never do that to her anyway. But equally he couldn’t leave without first seeing where the path led. He needed to do this.

  Something had happened that night in the woods before the crash and he was fairly certain it wasn’t just his writer’s brain going into overdrive.

  ‘I’m fine,’ Lila assured him, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself. She was out of breath and he knew she hadn’t wanted to do this, even though she had gamely tried to keep up and hadn’t complained once.

  That was who she was he was coming to realise. She was humble and honest and kind, and she always put others first, and he didn’t want to be someone who took advantage of her good nature.

  He would make this up to her, he promised himself.

  They had been walking for about five minutes, albeit slowly so Lila could keep up, and the woods were dark, leaving them reliant on the torch to guide them along the path.

  Had Mark Sutherland ventured this far into the woods? He would have only had the benefit of his phone to light the way. Jack t
ried to put himself into Mark’s shoes. What would he have done?

  It was a difficult question to answer because he wouldn’t have been the shithead who had taken his blind date to the woods in the hope of copping a feel in the first place.

  RIP to the bloke and everything, but he sounded like he had been a bit of a dick.

  Jack tried to visualise him as a character he was writing. The arrogant player who thought a few drinks bought him sex in a backwoods car park. That guy would be annoyed with Lila. He had invested time and money in the date, had even driven. He would expect a return for that investment. Mark had sulked, he had left her in the car alone, and wandered off into the woods. If he had genuinely only wanted to pee, he could have just disappeared behind a tree. No, Mark had wanted to get her back for rejecting his advances and he probably thought it would be fun to watch her panicking about where he was and whether he was coming back.

  That was all good and well, but the scenario suggested that he would have stayed close. That he would have wanted to see Lila’s reaction. And if he had been that close and something had happened to spook him, Lila would have heard. No, something lured him further into the woods, but what? He’d been out of breath when he returned to the car, so he had to have ventured along the path. What had spooked him?

  Caught up in his thoughts, Jack had momentarily forgotten about Lila and he turned to check on her again, saw the grimace on her face as she grappled with her crutches, and in that moment he felt like a prize arsehole.

  He shouldn’t have dragged her out in the woods. ‘You’re struggling. We’re going back.’

  Lila put up her hand to protest, to tell him she was fine, and took a wobbly step forward. As she lost her footing, Jack dropped the torch, lurching forward to catch her as her chin bashed his chest.

  Although she was breathless, sweating from the exertion of trying to keep up with him, she was freezing, and he noticed for the first time that she had no jacket on.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she managed between breaths.

  And now she’s the one apologising. Nice going, Jack, you dickhead.

  ‘We’ll go back,’ he told her. ‘I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have made you come out here.’

  ‘This was important to you.’

  With the torch on the ground, he couldn’t see her face, but he heard her sigh, heard the frustration in her voice, and realised she was annoyed with herself for not being able to keep up. Steadying her back on her feet, he rubbed his palms up and down her arms, trying to warm her up.

  ‘Not so important it can’t wait a couple of days. You’re freezing.’

  He took off his jacket, helped Lila slip her arms into it then zipped it up for her.

  ‘Thank you.’

  The torch was still working, casting an eerie glow along the floor of the wooded path, and he retrieved it, held it up so he could see her face. She blinked at the light, looking slightly ridiculous in the oversized jacket.

  ‘Are you going to be okay to walk back to the car park?’

  ‘I’ll be fine.’

  That’s what she had said coming out here, yet she wasn’t.

  Fuck it.

  ‘Can you hold on to your crutches if I give you a piggyback?’

  ‘You don’t need to do that.’

  ‘Lila, you can barely walk.’

  ‘I’ll be okay. I just need to take it slow.’

  Jack considered her argument, dismissed it. It was his fault she was out there in the first place and it was his responsibility to get her safely back to the car.

  ‘You’ll need to hold the torch too,’ he told her, pushing it in her hand and turning round, leaning down so she could climb on his back.

  ‘You really don’t need to carry me to the car. I can walk.’ She sounded mortified at the idea and he knew it was because she hated having to rely on someone else.

  ‘Damn it, Lila, will you stop being so stubborn and let me help you.’

  She hesitated and he heard her huff loudly before she did as she was told, nearly punching him in the face with the crutches as he caught hold of her under the thighs and hoisted her up.

  ‘Jesus, be careful with those things.’

  ‘Sorry.’ She didn’t sound sorry.

  ‘Point the torch ahead, okay? I need to see where I’m going,’ he grumbled, slowly making his way back along the path, keeping his pace steady. Although Lila had her arms around his neck, she was trying to hold on to both the crutches and the torch and didn’t have a tight grip. He couldn’t risk dropping her.

  The crutches didn’t make things easy and he was tempted to tell her to leave them, either jog back for them once they reached the car or say to hell with them and get her another pair. He grunted as one bashed against his right knee for the third time, part of him wondering if she was doing it on purpose.

  ‘It would have been quicker if I’d walked,’ she remarked dryly in his ear. ‘Probably safer too.’

  Jack ignored the comment, as he was trying to ignore that her breasts were mashed up against his shoulders. He could smell her scent; a light spicy fragrance tinged with something fruity, was aware of her warm breath on his neck.

  He glanced around the dark woods, trying to get his bearings and figure out how much further they had to go to get back to the car park. In the distance he spotted a flash of light, a sliver of yellow through the trees.

  ‘Hey, you see that?’

  ‘See what?’

  ‘There’s a house out here. I can see the light on in the window.’ Jack turned so Lila was facing the property. ‘Look straight ahead.’

  ‘I see it. I think the Grugers have the only place out here.’

  ‘That’s what I thought,’ Jack muttered, mostly to himself, as he stepped off the path towards the house.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Lila demanded, her tone slightly alarmed. When he ignored her, she bashed her elbow against his shoulder. ‘Jack! Where are you going?’

  ‘For a closer look.’

  ‘You said we were going back to the car.’

  ‘We are. This will only take a couple of minutes.’

  ‘Jack, I don’t want to go back there. Richard Gruger’s wife told me she didn’t want to see me again.’

  ‘You won’t have to see her. They don’t have to know we’re there.’

  ‘I don’t care. I don’t want to go back.’

  ‘You’ll be fine.’

  Jack picked up pace as she continued to argue and when it was clear he wasn’t going to back down, she settled into a sulky silence.

  As they neared the house the trees became sparse. There was no border between the woods and the sprawling lawn that led up to the wide patio that ran the length of the back of the house. The light he had spotted was still on and he could see that it was the kitchen. A figure flittered back and forth in front of the window; a woman, and it looked like she was clearing away dishes. Judith Gruger, he guessed.

  Jack knew little about the family, only what he had read in the news. Lila had told him about her visit to thank Richard Gruger though and the hostile reaction from his wife, which had piqued Jack’s interest. Perhaps they were a private family who didn’t welcome the press intrusion, but theirs was the only property near the woods. Maybe they would have answers to what Mark Sutherland had been running from on the night of his death.

  ‘Can you put me down, please.’

  When Jack ignored her, Lila kicked him with her good foot. ‘Jack, put me down!’

  ‘You can barely walk.’

  ‘I don’t care. Just put me down.’

  ‘Suit yourself.’ He lowered her to the ground, waited until she had steadied herself on her crutches; avoiding the glare she gave him.

  ‘I told you I didn’t want to come back here. You’ve seen the house, now can we go please before she sees us?’

  A rustling noise in the brush behind them had Lila jumping. Jack turned to see a small terrier charging out of the woods and onto the lawn. It circled back, yipping at them
.

  ‘Lila? Is that you?’

  A male voice, sounding surprised, pleased even.

  Jack gave the kid who paused to join them on the edge of the lawn a glance over. Maybe late teens, wearing jeans and a dark hoodie: he had to be the Gruger kid. Aaron, he recalled Lila saying. The one she said had been messaging her on Facebook.

  ‘Hi.’ Lila looked mortified to see him, like she would rather be anywhere else.

  ‘It’s Aaron, right?’ Jack said.

  ‘Yes, yes it is. What are you doing here?’

  Lila glanced at Jack for help. Aaron also looked at him, as though noticing him for the first time, his expression curious.

  ‘Umm, this is Jack. He’s…’ She tapered off, seeming unsure how to explain exactly who he was.

  ‘Jack Foley. I’m a friend of Lila’s.’ Jack kept it simple, offering his hand.

  Aaron shook it warily, his gaze flittering between them, looking like he had a dozen questions he wanted to ask. He opened his mouth, but before any words came out, a light flooded on, illuminating the whole back garden, and a patio door opened.

  ‘Aaron, who are you talking to?’

  The dog yapped again and made a beeline for the door and the woman holding it open.

  ‘You’ll never guess who I ran into in the woods, Mum.’ Aaron stepped forward, the dog lead swinging from his hand.

  Jack caught Lila’s eye, didn’t miss her warning scowl.

  ‘Don’t even think about it,’ she hissed.

  He gave her a challenging look, as he took a step after Aaron. They both knew she needed him to get back to the car.

  ‘Jack, please.’

  ‘Five minutes,’ he promised. ‘Come on.’

  Judith Gruger had looked curious, but her expression tightened when she spotted Jack, darkening further when Lila appeared.

  ‘You. I already told you to stay away. You’re not welcome here.’

  ‘Judith? What the bloody hell’s going on?’ A male voice, sharp and irritated.

  ‘Richard?’ Suddenly she sounded concerned, looking worriedly over her shoulder. ‘You’re home.’