Guardian Girl (The Chronicles of Staffordshire)

by Simmons, NC

“Holy shit! Holy shit! What did you just do to me? Did you just… Did you seduce me, you freaky supermodel? Is that what you just did?” Lena laughed and wrestled atop Lenore, who lay giggling beneath. They rolled back and forth, laughing and hugging for a time.

  As their play settled, Lenore rolled over and the girls laid on their sides. They instinctively snuggled close, pressing knee to knee but no closer. Lena unconsciously laid her hand against Lenore’s thigh and rubbed. Lenore consciously draped her arm around Lena’s shoulder and massaged the nape of Lena’s neck. They lay there, staring into each other’s eyes, neither one wanting to make the next move.

  Lenore didn’t want to move too fast, fearing scaring off the tennis pro.

  Lena didn’t want to move at all, fearing becoming yet another female tennis pro branded with the “L” word.

  But their lips were desperate for the kiss of a lover, just one person in the world who would never leave them, never betray them, and always protect their heart. Secret, anguished loneliness crushed down on the girls day in and day out and neither want to wear a false smile for another second.

  Lenore made a tentative overture. “Lena Sardi… Please… Kiss me.”

  “Are you sure Lenore? I mean, are you really sure about this?”

  “Lena... My beautiful, amazing Wild Child... Please… Kiss me.”

  “God, Lenore… This feels so… So wrong…”

  “Please, Lena. Just one kiss. That is all. Just one kiss.”

  At Lenore’s urging, Lena cautiously pressed her trembling lips to Lenore’s. Lenore’s lips pressed back, tenderly, uncertain. The softness of Lena’s lips soothed Lenore’s heart. Heat welled up in Lena’s breasts. She felt her nipples tingle. They parted. Lena stared in amazement at Lenore. Lenore laid her head back on the pillow, closed her eyes, and sighed.

  “Hoh-ly shit!” Lena whispered.

  Lenore smiled and whispered in reply. “Hoh-ly shit indeed.”

  “What just happened here, Lenore? What did we just do? Did we really do that? Am I crazy or did we really just do that?”

  Lifting her head, Lenore stared at Lena for a second and then kissed her with fire. Lena stared back through the flames, eyes wide with arousal. Shoving Lenore back, Lena established clear roles in their relationship.

  “Now WAIT a minute, sister! You’re not the bad girl here, I AM!”

  Lena slammed her lips into Lenore, slipping her tongue into Lenore’s mouth. Lenore gasped, then giggled, and returned the favor, sucking gently on Lena’s tongue as their flesh danced.

  In mid-suck, Lena felt a ghostly slap to the side of her head and heard a wee, small whisper.

  “Uhhh… Hey… Dipshit… You’re kissing your roommate. And in case ya hadn’t noticed, shit-fer-brains, your roommate is a FRIGGING GIRL!”

  Lena’s eyes flew open, staring in horror at Lenore’s closed eyelids.

  “OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! SHIT! What the Hell are we doing? I’M KISSING MY ROOMMATE! I’M KISSING LENORE!”

  Lena bolted from Lenore's bed and scrambled to her side of the room, tripping and stumbling all the way. She threw her hands up as a shield in front of her kissable face.

  "WAIT! WAIT! Lenore, something… Shit! Something is going on here! We better slow down and think about this! I mean, we’re girls! And we're roommates for Christ's sake! We can't do this! We shouldn’t do this! I mean… We have to live together! What if we screw this up and wind up hating each other? What do we do then? How do we get through the rest of the year? And what if someone finds out that we just kissed each other? We’re frigging girls! OUR LIVES ARE OVER!”

  "LENA!”

  "WHAT?!"

  “SHUT — UP!!!”

  Lenore’s outburst stopped Lena cold.

  “But Lenore…!”

  Lenore raised her hand, confidence building in her voice. "Lena! Stop! Be quiet! Just be quiet and listen. All we did was kiss! We did nothing more. And… Speaking only for myself…” Lenore drew a long, slow, cleansing breath and exhaled, holding Lena’s eyes throughout. “…What just happened was wonderful!"

  "But, Lenore! We can’t do this! This isn’t… It isn’t right!”

  Lenore found her footing with each new step on a long-overdue journey of self discovery. Lenore’s brokenness unexpectedly made sense. It took another gifted girl to untie the transit-damaged package of Lenore’s life, extract a fractured, jumbled mess, and reassemble the pieces as a living work of art. A soothing, peaceful note resonated in the supermodel’s words.

  "Lena… Calm down. Relax. I am just sitting here on my bed. You are sitting on your bed. We are not touching each other. It is over. We are just talking."

  “Just talking? Just frigging talking? I just made out with the most beautiful girl in the whole frigging world! And I liked it!”

  "Look, Lenore… I… I just said, 'I love you'. I mean… I can't take that back! It's out there. It's in the open. I feel REALLY weird right now! This is really… Weird, Lenore. Really, really weird…" Lena wrestled with herself, wrapping her arms tightly against her chest, rocking back and forth on her bed.

  "Lena, I do not want you to take back what you said. I am not taking back what I said. I never will. I cannot. I am… I am in love with you.”

  "But we can't be in love, Lenore! We're girls, for Christ’s sake! We’re not a girl and a boy! We’re two frigging girls!”

  "Lena… Slow down! Breathe! I am not trying to have sex with you. I think I still want a man someday."

  “She THINKS she still wants a man someday! SHIT!”

  Lenore paused. Such vulnerability came along once in a lifetime and then only with great risk. If Lena was “The One,” she deserved to know the truth. “I must tell you something, Lena. Please do not laugh when I tell you this. It is… Embarrassing.” Struggling with her admission, Lenore stared into her lap. “Lena… I am… I am still a virgin. I have never dated a boy. I know what I felt when we kissed, but… I… I do not know what it means."

  Lena exhaled with a huff. “Well, Sardi… If the most famous girl in the world can do it…”

  "Look… Lenore… God… I can’t believe I’m about to say this… But… I’m not what you think, either.”

  "I do not understand. What do you think I think, Lena?"

  Lena cracked her knuckles. "Well, Lenore, here we go. I'm still a virgin, too. I only ever really kissed a boy once, and that was at a wedding reception after he caught the garter. He was 13 and he tried to French me. Horny little bastard."

  Lenore laughed, Lena's intent. "But Lena… I thought…"

  "What? Because I don't wear a bra? Sis, I just can't stand the way they feel. I hate 'em. The only time I wear a bra is when I'm on the court or working out. When you have a double-dutch chest bras get uncomfortable after a while. I mean… I know my boobs’ll be hitting the floor by the time I’m 40…”

  Lenore giggled at the image.

  “Once I stopped wearing bras, people just assumed I was sleeping around. Boys either tried to bed me or they were so afraid of me they left me alone. And if they tried to bed me I just hit 'em with my racket.”

  The image of Lena whacking a young man’s genitals with a mid-oversized racket gave Lenore another giggle.

  “Lenore… Look… I’m so sorry… I never wanted to lead you on or anything. And I really… God, I can’t believe I’m saying this… I really do… I mean… I feel like I love you. I mean… I feel like I’m in love with you. You’re like the only girl in the world who I… Who knows that about me. And I really don’t want sex before I get married. And I really didn’t want to have sex with… With my female roommate, for Christ’s sake!”

  “But Lena… We were not having sex. We were just kissing…”

  “But kissing is bad enough, Lenore! Kissing always leads to… You know… To sex!”

  Scanning Lenore, Lena figured it was time to share her dream, the kind of dream little girls are told to dream, of fairy tale kingdoms and a handsome Prince riding in on a gleaming, white horse to save the
ir beautiful Princesses from a life of spinsterhood.

  “Look… Lenore… I have this dream. And it’s a pretty boring dream, actually. I just want a man someday. Just one man. For life. I want to meet a man who’s going to love me for me and not for my money and not for my fame and not for my body.”

  Lena tapped her chin pensively. “Well… Actually, I wouldn’t mind it too much if he really liked my body.”

  Lena’s joy for life and easy humor fanned Lenore’s love. Every time Lena wise-cracked Lenore fell deeper under her spell. Lenore could tell Lena was afraid. Her hands were shaking in her lap. It was Lenore’s turn to help Lena avoid a world class freak out.

  "Lena, I cannot lie to you. I really enjoyed kissing you…” Lenore smiled a, “Please, I hope you enjoyed it, too,” smile. “…I also meant it when I said that I love you. I really love you, Lena. I… I am in love with you.”

  Lenore saw hints of a breakdown gathering on Lena’s face and pressed onward, struggling to find exactly the right words, words to put flesh around the girls’ newly-forming, blended soul.

  “Lena… I… I feel like I love you more than life itself. There is something about you that makes me feel safe and loved in a way I have never felt. When I look at you… When I look at you I feel your strong heart wrapping up my weak heart… I feel… safe. I feel wanted.”

  Lena’s hands shook, tears welled.

  "When you speak to me, Lena, you do not speak to me like you are just a friend. You speak to me like you feel what I feel. You speak to me like a person who understands the pain of being alone in the midst of so many friends. So, yes, Lena Sardi. I love you. Right here, right now, and for the rest of my life… I choose to love you more than life itself. Please do not fear loving me. I do not fear loving you. I pray you will cherish the way I feel about you.”

  Torrential confusion rained down upon Lena’s heart. She could not deny that what she felt for Lenore was more than just friendship between roommates. She could not deny that looking at Lenore, thinking about the inseparable bond they birthed in so few months together, made her come alive with feelings she had denied herself for years.

  Lena sat silently, measuring Lenore’s eyes, assessing the swirling joy and terror she felt just being in the presence of the girl who spoke without a filter and meant what she said with each word. Was it… Love? Or was it just two under-sexed, over-horny girls locked up in an all-girls dorm with no boys to pop their virgin cherries?

  Turning inward, Lena retreated to the icy-cold place where watching each twitch on an opponent's face meant the difference between a baseline shift or rushing the net. "Look… Can we talk about this a little bit, Lenore? I mean, before we start planning a wedding date and all, can we talk about this a little bit?"

  Lenore laughed loudly at Lena's quip. "Yes, Lena! Whatever you want! And I do not want to marry you!”

  "Well, that’s a load off my mind. But what do you mean when you say, 'I love you'? If it doesn’t mean… You know… Marriage - which is kinda illegal in this state anyway - then what does that mean to you?”

  "Well, I suppose it means that… The way I feel at this moment… I never want to be apart from you. I feel like I am more complete with you than without you, I feel like you understand me in a way nobody else does. It means that when I am around you I feel something special that nobody else makes me feel."

  Lenore stopped, shot her eyes heavenward, closed them, and finished her thought. "I think it means that I would give my life for your happiness."

  Lena cried. Lenore assaulted her with a barrage of honesty. Years of solitary confinement melted away in the voice and words of her roommate, a girl who just a few months earlier was nothing more than a smiling face on a poster or magazine cover. Watching Lenore through her tears, wiping them as quickly as they came, Lena flashed back to the tingling sensation she felt when Lenore first kissed her.

  "Lenore, I need to know. This is really important to me. Do you really want to find a man and get married some day?"

  "Of course I do! In case you had not noticed, Lena, I do have a vagina. I would very much like to fill it with a man and his child someday.”

  “Uh… Lenore De La Fuente… Did you just say, ‘Vagina’?”

  For a second, Lenore sucked in on her lips in embarrassment. The girls burst, howling at the ultra-dignified model’s use of the “V” word. Calming, Lenore continued her answer through giggles and sniffs.

  "Lena, saying ‘I love you…’ That does not mean that I think we are supposed to live together forever. It just means that I absolutely know, without a doubt, that right here, right now… Forever more… ‘I love you’.”

  “Uhhh… Lenore… That word ‘forever’ kind of sounds like ‘forever’.”

  Lenore flamenco danced around the question long enough. "What I mean, Lena, is that when you kissed me it felt right, and beautiful, and natural. I want to do it again, and again, and again for as long as we are together. I do not think I want to have sex with you, but I certainly would not mind making out with you again. It was… FUN!"

  Lena could not wrap her pea brain around everything Lenore shared. It felt contradictory and confirming and caring and…

  "That was a pretty hot kiss, wasn't it…?”

  "Lena, if you reached under my dress you would have felt how hot."

  It was Lena’s turn to laugh. "So, Lenore… Where do we go from here? Are we really, really in love? And if we are… Does that make us lesbians? And if we’re lesbians, are we ever going to get married? Or are we just having fun until we find men and figure out we’re not really lesbians? And what happens to the other one of us if one of us falls in love with a man? I’m totally confused. I’m just… Totally confused, Lenore.”

  Lenore patted the bed next to her. "Come here, Lena. Do not be afraid of me. Do not be afraid of yourself. Come and sit with me."

  With less exuberance than her usual hop from bed to bed, Lena stood and cautiously tiptoed to Lenore's bed. As Lena sat, Lenore kept her hands folded in her lap. They sat silently, looking straight ahead at the wall over Lena’s bed for several minutes, fearing looking into each other’s eyes.

  Lena looked to Shawn Cassidy’s poster for advice. He just stared at her with that doughy come-hither smile of his. No help at all.

  "Lenore… May I… Can I kiss you again."

  Lenore turned toward Lena, nodded, and closed her eyes.

  Lena brought her lips to Lenore's, pressing them together lightly. Lena felt heat welling again inside her chest and face. They could each feel the other’s cheeks blushing. The girls lingered inside a paper-thin kiss, no explosive passion or tongue, just a delicate kiss.

  As they parted, Lena licked her lips. "Okay… I definitely don't know what to do with that feeling, Lenore.”

  Lenore’s eyes remained closed, basking in the afterglow of Lena's awakening love. "I know exactly what to do with that feeling, roomie."

  Lenore pressed her lips confidently to Lena's and returned the kiss, actively filling Lena's mouth with her tongue. Lena gasped, her heart pounding at Lenore's penetration of her virgin body. She felt her pulse race and felt Lenore's heart pounding as their chests pressed together. Lenore’s nipples stiffened, pushing through the thin fabric of her bra. Lena shivered. A trickle escaped her vulva, dampening her panties.

  After several minutes of gentle kissing, Lenore pulled back and smiled. Lena's eyes remained closed, her mind floating atop Lenore's lighter-than-air love. An impassioned blush lit Lena’s dimpled cheeks.

  Lena opened her eyes. The roommates scanned each other’s face, considering the myriad, possible scenarios under which everything could come crashing down around them. They stayed locked on each other's eyes, trying to read the writing on the walls of their roommate’s soul. Was it really, "love," or was it little more than just pent up "lust" awaiting its first chance mess up two tightly-regulated lives?

  "Lenore?"

  "Yes, Lena?"

  A barely audible whisper escaped Lena’s li
ps. “Oh my God… I really liked that."

  "Yes, dear, so did I."

  "Lenore?"

  "Yes, my beautiful Wild Child?"

  The athlete’s lips quivered. She fought the urge to cry. “Lenore De La Fuente… Did you just give me… A nickname?”

  Smiling sweetly, Lenore thought for a second and affirmed her transformation. “Yes, my amazing, beautiful Wild Child. I think I just did.”

  Lenore waited patiently as Lena’s lips formed words that never left her mouth. When The Wild Child spoke, conflict was woven with her words. "Lenore… Do you really think it's possible for us to… To get through four years just kissing and not going to… Well… Not going to the next level? Do you think we can just make out here in our dorm room and still save ourselves for… You know… For boyfriends or husbands?”

  Lenore pondered the question in silence, leaving Lena dangling nervously for an agonizing 64.5 seconds. "Wild Child, you and I will never be apart for the rest of our lives. Whoever our future husbands are they must simply accept that their wives will be a very close pair of women."

  "Care to elaborate, Lenore? Do you see something I don't see?"

  Lenore closed her eyes, allowing her mind to wander through dreams and wondrous places beyond the glamour of modeling and pro tennis and Paulson College. She drew a deep breath and let heavenly visions guide her story.

  "We will follow identical tracks through college. We will room together all four years, perhaps three if we fast track our studies. Then we will go to the same law school, probably Harvard. We will graduate in the top three or four of our class. We will live within a few hours of each other so we can lift each other up when our lives become difficult. We will work in the same city, probably right here in New York. One day we will leave our firms, join forces, and open our own practice."

  Lenore paused, opened her eyes, and smiled at Lena. "One of us will get married… To a wonderful man she will love with all the love a woman can offer. Then the other of us will get married and it will be like something out of a storybook. We will be at each other's houses all the time, with dozens of children running throughout our homes.”