‘Why do you cry, Alice?’ Rodney continued. ‘Were you tried in this courtroom? Were you found guilty? Or was it someone you love? Were they condemned to death, Alice? Can you talk to us? Or just knock, that’s OK too.’
Still there was nothing.
‘She’s gone,’ said Oscar.
‘Yeah, she’s gone,’ said Rodney. ‘Right, shall we go down to the cells, then, and do some calling there? Try and get some EVPs. Have we got anything yet, Si?’
Si was listening on large blue headphones to the recording he had just made.
‘We could well do, yeah. I’ll try and isolate them.’
‘Sorry, what are EVPs?’ asked Max.
‘Electronic Voice Phenomena,’ said Si.
‘They’re the voices of spirits,’ said Annabel. ‘They turn up on tape. They are absolute proof that this is all real.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Max, wondering why Si was laughing to himself.
He felt a hand on his shoulder guide him to one side.
‘So,’ said Rodney, softly, drawing Max close in a way he felt somehow comforting and yet also unnerving. ‘What do you think?’
‘Well, it’s, ah, interesting.’
‘Yes, but what do you think about what happened? The knocking, I mean.’
‘Well, I suppose… It sounded quite faraway. And the caretaker’s just out the front. So, it could have been him, moving about. Maybe.’
‘Yes! This is excellent. You must keep up this level of scrutiny the whole evening.’
‘Professor…’ Max found himself saying. ‘I mean, Rodney?’
‘Yes, Max?’
‘If you don’t mind me asking… I guess the thing I’m really wondering is this. Why are you a part of this? It’s just, in your books, you are always advocating critical thinking, and here, you’re, um…’
Rodney looked deep into Max’s eyes. Max wanted to shut them.
‘Yes, that is the question, isn’t it? That is the riddle. Pull away the layers, Max. What lies at the heart of the onion?’
With that, Rodney pulled away.
‘Do talk to Si, Max. He has some interesting ideas about the true nature of the phenomena.’
Max looked around. All the others were ahead now, going out of the door in search of the caretaker, save for Si, who was pressing his headphones deep against his ears. Thinking it best to do as he was told for the time being, he sidled up beside him. Si smiled and pulled off his headphones.
‘Alright?’ he said.
‘Um. Rodney says you have interesting ideas.’
Si gave a half-smile.
‘Well, let’s just say I don’t hold with all this running around screaming nonsense. Because there aren’t any ghosts.’
‘Oh. So what are you doing here then?’
‘All I said was that there aren’t any ghosts. There’s still phenomena, loads of it. But what that phenomena is not is evidence of the survival of the human soul, floating about in the air somewhere. It’s not something that can hurt you, or even talk to you, like in a conversation, anyway.’
‘So what is it?’
‘What it is is the past, being replayed like a video tape. Just little moments in time, caught on a loop, happening over and over again, but getting fainter, like a dying echo. I mean those bangs we heard, they obviously weren’t the ghost of poor Alice. That’s just stupid baby talk. What they were was something that could have happened in the Civil Wars, like a gunpowder explosion or a gunshot, because there were battles right near here, and now that’s all that’s left of them, a little thud.’
‘Do you think they maybe could have been just the caretaker moving about, or the central heating?’
Si gave a withering look in answer. He pulled out an electronic device from his rucksack and put it down on the ground.
‘What’s that?’ asked Max.
‘It’s an EMF meter. Measures the Electromagnetic Field. Phenomena disrupts it, setting it off. So that lot hear it beeping, think there’s a ghosty about, and run around screaming their heads off. What it actually means is that there’s some loop playing in the vicinity, although nearly all are too faint to hear. Come on, let’s get cracking.’
Max looked about. He and Si were the only ones in the courtroom now.
As they got to the door, the caretaker passed with a big set of keys jangling, the rest following on behind.
‘This way, ladies and gentlemen,’ he said. ‘More ghosts downstairs!’
They stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking down a long corridor with a high ceiling. The cells, running down along one side, were older than the courtroom. Stone with tiny windows that would only allow a peek of the car park. The doors were thick metal, with a small observation hole in each.
Max looked for Aggie, but she was with Jenny and Annabel now, and he stood alone.
‘As you can see,’ the caretaker was saying, ‘there are thirteen cells in all. Unlucky for some. You can shut yourselves in if you like. The door won’t lock, but you might want to give some of them a good push. Light switches are here if you want to scare yourselves silly. Have fun!’
‘Oh my god,’ said Annabel, grabbing hold of Jenny and squeezing her. ‘This is so creepy.’
‘I don’t feel comfortable here at all,’ said Oscar. ‘This is a really bad place.’
It did not feel good to Max. It was cold, and the air was damp and subterranean. A depressing environment, if intentionally so.
‘Right,’ said Rodney, ‘I propose some initial calling-out, and then some vigils in the cells. What do you say?’
‘Sounds good to me,’ said Si, filming the scene with his camera.
‘I don’t know if I want to be down here,’ said Oscar.
‘It’s OK,’ said Jenny, releasing herself from Annabel and giving him a hug. ‘I won’t let anything get you.’
‘Have you managed to isolate any EVPs yet, Si?’ asked Rodney.
‘I think I’ve got a child saying “racket” and a dog barking.’
Si played back what he had found. Max could hear neither, just what sounded like radio interference, and a noise that could have been nearly anything amplified many times.
‘Ah, the spirits think we are too loud!’ said Rodney. ‘The child says we are making a racket and the barking is what we must sound like to them. That is the most reasonable explanation, don’t you think, Max?’
Max felt Rodney’s eyes on him and everyone else’s. Feeling that he was being played with, and perhaps made fun of, he said nothing. Still, they waited for an answer.
Annabel shrieked, and suddenly no one was paying attention to him anymore.
‘Oh my god, what was that?’
‘You saw it too?’ said Jenny. ‘It was…’
‘It was a black shadow, at the end of the corridor. Oh my god, there it is again, it’s moving!’
‘It’s Black Bob!’ cried Jenny.
She and Annabel screamed and jumped up and down. Max was surprised to hear a third scream. Aggie was jumping up and down and screaming with them.
‘Is that you, Black Bob?’ Rodney called out, leading them down the corridor. ‘Can you show yourself again like you did just now?’
‘Yeah, where are you Black Bob, you nasty bastard!’ cried Annabel. ‘It’s OK to be rude to Black Bob, isn’t it, because he’s a demon.’
Oscar, by her side, and clinging on to her arm, nodded.
Si was opening each of the cell doors in turn and leaving an EMF meter in each.
‘We should turn the lights out,’ said Jenny.
‘Good idea,’ said Rodney. ‘Just as soon as Si has finished, we’ll turn our torches on and go to black. Then we’ll check out the cells.’
Si gave Rodney the thumbs up and small torches were located in pockets and backpacks.
Rodney turned the lights off.
* * *
Max watched as the seven lights drifted away from him, to the sound of echoing footsteps and excited whispers. Cell doors opened, and shut.
He stayed in the corridor, not sure what to do, walking to the end and turning back again. The cells seemed to swallow the noise of those who had entered, and now it was deathly quiet save for the sound of his own footsteps. He felt like he was being watched. He thought he might be scared.
‘Max!’
A voice called him from behind a slightly open cell door. He tugged the gap wider, slipped inside, and shone his torch.
‘Max, will you stop looking at my tits?’
It was Jenny. Max found that he was illuminating her chest.
‘Ah, I…’
He hurriedly moved his torch upwards.
‘Now it’s in my eyes, silly. On my tits is fine. Anyway, spill the beans.’
‘About what?’
‘Are you and Aggie… you know? Are you her boyfriend?’
‘Ah, no. We’re just mates. Actually, we’re not even that, probably. We work together. Kind of. We’re not paid for it.’
‘But you fancy her, though, yeah?’
‘I don’t know… I…’
‘Cos I reckon she fancies you. Which is a big deal, cos she ain’t never had a boyfriend.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah. I known her since school, and she just never had time for it back then cos she was looking after her nan. But now her nan’s dead and she still ain’t got one cos she’s got shy what with her not having one before.’
‘Oh. Right. I thought she might sometimes, but a lot of the time it’s like she’s pushing me away…’
‘Yeah, that’s because she’s shy, you plum. So are you going to ask her out then?’
‘I hadn’t really thought…’
‘What, you seeing someone else?’
‘No…’
‘You just don’t fancy her.’
‘I…’
Max realised that Jenny was undoing the bodice of her dress. A large areola was at the centre of his torch’s circle. He instinctively lowered it.
‘No, keep it up. This is the deal, right. If you don’t fancy Aggie, you can come over here right now and give my tits a good squeeze, cos I know you want to. You can stick your head in between them, whatever. But! If you fancy Aggie even just a little bit, you’ve got to ask her out to the pictures or Pizza Hut or something.’
‘Look, it’s a kind offer, but you know, you’re seeing Oscar, and—’
‘Don’t worry about it, mate. It’s fine.’
The man’s voice made Max yell. A torch went on in the corner of the room, underneath Oscar’s face.
‘I didn’t know you were there!’ said Max.
‘Yeah, well, I was trying to keep it dark, wasn’t I, so we could see Black Bob better, should he turn up.’
‘Would that work? You’re the expert, I guess. Um, anyway, like I said, it’s a kind offer, but—’
The door flung open. Rodney and the others piled in.
‘Are you all right?’ he cried. ‘We heard a scream. What’s here?’
‘Oh, that was me,’ said Max. ‘I was just surprised. Not by a ghost, by Oscar, ah…’
‘Aye, aye,’ said Annabel. ‘What’s going on here then?’
Max realised that Jenny still had her breast out.
‘It’s, ah, we got confused, that’s all…’
He turned round to see Aggie, staring at the scene. She looked like she was holding back tears.
There was a beeping.
‘It’s one of the EMF meters,’ said Si. ‘Something’s set it off!’
Si led the way out to the cell where the EMF meter beeped. They piled in behind him, squeezing inside the small space.
‘There’s a big leap,’ he said, looking at the display. ‘I mean, it’s like someone’s turned on a generator right next to it. But there’s nothing there.’
‘There’s something there, all right,’ said Oscar. ‘Something bad.’
‘Black Bob!’ cried Rodney. ‘Show yourself!’
‘Yeah, show yourself, you twat!’ shouted Jenny.
The group shone their torches into the cell.
‘He’s not manifesting,’ said Oscar.
‘But the reading is still really high,’ said Si. ‘So whatever it is, is still around.’
‘He won’t come out,’ said a voice, quietly.
It was Aggie. No one had any memory of her giving a solid opinion about anything on a hunt before, and they all turned to hear what she had to say now.
‘There are too many of us,’ she said. ‘You heard what the EVPs said. We’re too noisy. Like a pack of dogs. He won’t come if we’re all here. He’ll come for one of us.’
‘A solo vigil?’ said Rodney. ‘That could be very dangerous. I should do it.’
‘No,’ said Aggie. ‘I want to do it.’
‘Don’t!’ cried Jenny. ‘He’ll eat your soul!’
‘Very bad idea,’ said Oscar. ‘This place feels full of evil. We should get out of here now.’
‘Oscar,’ said Aggie, looking up at the hulking figure above her. ‘What is the point of us going on these hunts when every time we come close to the thing we’re looking for, we scream and run away? One of us should be in here, and wait for him to turn up, and record it.’
‘It’s a good idea,’ said Max. ‘But I think it should be a two-person job. Just in case. You know, of soul-eating. I’ll stay in here too.’
‘There’s really no need…’ said Aggie.
‘That sounds excellent, Max,’ said Rodney. ‘Very chivalrous of you. But then, you are a man.’
Si handed him the camera.
‘You know how this works, yeah? It’s pretty basic. I’ve already set it to infrared.’
‘I can probably work it out,’ said Max.
‘Right,’ said Rodney. ‘The rest of us must get as far down the corridor as possible or we’ll interfere with your energy. But if there are any problems, just give us a shout.’
Jenny and Annabel hugged Aggie. Si and Oscar shook Max’s hand. Soon, they filed out, wishing good luck. The door closed behind them. Their noise soon evaporated, leaving silence.
Aggie was slumped in a corner, looking up at the tiny window. Max considered joining her, but reconsidered. The familiar thick silence that he found so hard to break had settled already.
‘I wasn’t doing anything with Jenny,’ he said, finally.
‘I really don’t care what you were doing,’ she muttered.
‘It’s just, we were talking and she just got her breast out, and…’
‘Like I said, I don’t care.’
Max shone his torch around the cell, at the bed and toilet and sink, in the corners.
‘Do you think we’d see Black Bob better with the torches on or off? I can’t work it out.’
‘It doesn’t matter. He’s not coming.’
‘What? But you said…’
‘He’s not coming because he’s not real, OK? You’re right, it’s all a load of shit. I went along tonight to give it all one last go to give me something to hold on to. Jumped up and down and screamed to see if that helped. Volunteered to sit in this miserable little room just on the off-chance a demon will pop out and make it all true, or maybe I just wanted some peace and quiet, I dunno. But look, there’s nothing, is there? There’s no Black Bob, no Shadow People, no ghosts, no spirits, everyone you love just goes, there’s nobody there, there’s just death. You win. Happy now?’
Max could feel his heart beating. He shook his head.
‘Not really, no.’
‘Why not? This is what you want, isn’t it? Everyone being rational and clever and telling the truth and not believing in nonsense.’
‘Maybe… that’s what I thought I wanted. But now I see how sad it makes you, and I don’t think I want it anymore. I guess, I see it now, what it all means. No, believing in ghosts and things won’t get us to the Moon and back, or cure typhoid, or any of the other things, but—’
‘It helps you when you’re feeling lonely,’ said Aggie. ‘Picks you up when you stare at death and death stares back at you,
and it’s all just so…’
Aggie cried.
Tentatively, Max bent down and put his arm round her, expecting it to be rejected. It wasn’t. He held her tight and closed his eyes.
‘I really need to explain the whole Jenny thing…’
‘Please don’t.’
‘No, I have to. You see, the thing is, she asked me if I, ah, fancied you, and I wouldn’t say, and so she tested me by getting her boob out and—’
‘Do you?’
‘Do I what?’
‘Fancy me.’
‘Yeah,’ said Max. ‘I mean, yes, I do.’
He kissed her gently, knowing it was possibly her very first kiss.
‘It tickles,’ she laughed.
He kissed again. He could taste her tears on her lips.
The EMF meter started beeping.
Max began to turn. Aggie stopped him.
‘We should see if it’s Black Bob,’ Max said, still feeling her lips on his. ‘Check to see if he’s wearing a hat.’
‘We could do that,’ said Aggie, ‘but he’d probably steal a bit of our souls, so let’s not.’
‘Si says it’s just a tape, playing in a loop until it fades away. Maybe we should check to see if his theory is correct.’
‘Yeah, but nobody uses tapes anymore,’ said Aggie. ‘And maybe… things should be left to fade, when their time comes.’
‘What do you mean?’ said Max.
‘You know what?’ said Aggie. ‘Right now, I’m happy here, with my eyes closed, not knowing what I’d see if I opened them. So you can look if you want, but I’m not budging.’
Max kissed her again, more firmly.
‘Nah,’ he said. ‘Here’s good.’
* * *
Max and Aggie left the cell. The beeping had stopped several minutes ago, and torches formed pools at the end of the corridor. Moments later Oscar was running towards them, Jenny and Si following behind.
‘Aggie, Max. Are you OK?’
‘Yeah, we’re OK,’ said Aggie.
‘Did you see anything? We heard the EMF meter go off.’
Max shook his head.
‘No, nothing manifested. Sorry. Black Bob didn’t want to play tonight.’
‘Did you get anything on camera?’
Max slapped his head.
‘Clean forgot to turn it on, sorry.’
Erotic Nightmares Page 14
