by Dyanne Davis
“Hands off of Sam. I understand,” she’d consented. But she’d wondered why Sam was making himself available if he too wanted her to keep her hands off of him. Why was he ignoring Jamie’s edict not to start up anything with her. It was as if he didn’t care what her brother thought. An involuntary groan came from Rebe and she wanted to stop remembering. .
Even now she could still picture the look on Sam’s face when she’d told him she needed a man who would wow. Sam had swallowed not saying a word. She'd felt badly, but Sam had a way of making her feel vulnerable. He was always there when she needed him, always giving it to her straight. She realized she'd come to depend on him in more ways than one and she couldn't allow that to continue, or develop into more. Despite Jamie’s warning there was something about Sam that Rebe didn’t like. He reminded her too much of her brother, always watching out for her. He gave her a feeling of safety and she wasn't looking for safety.
Knowing she’d hurt Sam’s feelings she’s rushed to explain. “I’m thinking of asking this lawyer at my firm. His name’s Chase and he does look like the heroes I write about. I’m sorry, Sam, but all of the authors bring these model type guys.”
“Of course they do,” he’d said. “It’s perfect. Superficial people seeking out other superficial people.”
With that remark he'd given a bitter chuckle and left the apartment. Despite Kandi and Jamie trying to tell her to go and apologize, she hadn't, she couldn't. It was too late, the damage had been done. She’d ticked him off and he was angry. It was better to allow things to cool down. Besides, she’d invited Chase to go with her. And she'd done her best to ignore the hurt she sensed in Sam.
“Rebe, what’s going on? You’re too quiet, and nothing good happens when you’re quiet,” Chase asked bringing her out of her reverie.
A lump rose in her throat. She’d known she should have never begun comparing Chase and Sam, never thought about how she’d gotten together with Chase in the first place. Like Chase had said, no good would come from that.
Looking across the room at Chase, Rebe winced. She'd never told Sam, ‘thank you’ for all he'd done for her. For being her rock when her brother died. For giving her refuge. The thing of it was she really liked him, in actuality she more than liked Sam.
But there was one huge problem with Sam that had not died with her brother had. Sam still made her vulnerable. He’d torn down her walls and wouldn’t accept pretense from her. He made her raw and she didn’t like it. She’d been reduced to nothing the two weeks she'd lain in his arms, in his bed. She'd not wanted another living soul to see her in that condition, not her parents and not her lifelong best friend.
Sam was her safety net and that frightened her. A perfect 360 was what she'd chosen to do with him when she’d left his bed. She’d decided in order to be around him, she had no choice but to become what he was always calling her. Shallow.
A shallow woman didn't have to worry about doing the right thing. She didn’t have to worry about hurting the feelings of the people who meant the most to her. A shallow woman didn't have to become close enough to anyone to allow herself to become vulnerable. Sam frightened Rebe. Her reactions to him frightened her more.
As for Chase, he didn't make her feel safe and secure. And he definitely didn't make her feel vulnerable. He made her scream out in pleasure. He made her angry. But vulnerable, raw, those weren’t the emotions Chase brought out in her. Would she ever lie in his bed, in his arms, and cry. And not have sex? No way. But Chase was a good fit for the life she'd chosen.
Rebe took in a deep breath and released it. Then she turned her full attention to Chase. “We’re good. I was just thinking about things that will never happen.”
“And you forgive me.”
“I don’t know if forgive is the right word, Chase. I accept you.” And having said that Rebe moved into his arms and plastered her lips against his.
The more sun that streamed through the windows of his apartment, the better Sam was feeling. He didn't want to think his feelings had anything to do with Rebe, but he'd been unable to stop thinking of her. He'd had a perpetual hard on since he’d trailed her home. As crazy as it was he'd dreamt of her, and the dream had been very explicit. They'd done a lot more than share kisses and touches.
As he thought of her taste and her teasing, Sam couldn’t help but smile. As he'd drunk his morning coffee he'd continued to think of her, wondering why on earth he'd agreed to go with her last night. Then he thought of the remark she'd made about him being a frog prince and he laughed out loud.
There were so many things he didn't like about Rebe. Heaven knows she had more than enough faults. So why hadn't he just told her to go to hell? Going to the window, he looked out. He remembered that besides the fragments of her that he'd seen so often through the past two years, there was a different Rebe, the one who showed her kindness and vulnerable side. He'd witnessed many acts of kindness from her. But those acts hadn't provoked him to say yes when every atom in his body was screaming, ‘NO’.
It was the Rebe. Sam remembered when their little group had been unbreakable. It was the Rebe he’d seen when her brother died shortly after being involved in a tragic accident. Sam had held Rebe in his arms as she'd sobbed. It was the only time he'd seen her broken. After the funeral she'd taken a leave of absent from work and from her life, asking him if she could stay with him for a little while. She'd not wanted to be with her parents, or with her best friend, Kandi who lived across the hall. Rebe wanted him.
When he'd taken his pillow to move to the couch Rebe had looked at him, her brown eyes bright with tears and said, “Please don't leave me, Sam. Lie down with me.” If she’d worn one of her many colored contacts perhaps he wouldn’t have been so moved, but she hadn’t and he’d imagined he could see straight through to her soul. She needed him and there was no way in hell he wouldn’t be there for her. So he hadn’t questioned her when she’d asked him to sleep beside her. He’d merely stared at her, then her voice whispered to him soft, and pain filled.
“I need you, Sam. Please lie down in the bed next to me.”
And that was what he'd done. He could have offered her Jamie’s bedroom. Or he could have slept in the room. But neither one of them had wanted to do that. For two weeks Rebe had lain in his bed, in his arms, and grieved. And when the two weeks were over, she’d gotten up from his bed and told him she was ready to return to her life. She hadn’t spoken another word, not a thank you, not a hug. Nothing. Just her getting up and leaving him with an ache in his heart.
When Rebe left, the temperature of the room changed. She’d stolen the warmth from the room, and from him. He worried about her, and each time he'd called to ask if she was okay, her answers became colder. When he'd see her, she'd look through him as though he didn't exist, as though they weren’t friends, had never been friends. And then the day came when she'd turned into the woman he couldn't tolerate being around. It felt good knowing a tiny spark of his old friend still remained.
A sudden urge to actually talk with Kandi about Rebe came over Sam. She'd been bugging him since early this morning, but he’d told her to go away. Now he went across the hall and pounded on her door, when she answered he grinned. "Are you busy?” Sam asked.
"What do you have in mind?"
"I thought we could grab a bite and talk."
"About last night?"
"Yes." Sam grinned and waited for Kandi to throw on a coat. And just like that the two of them walked the block and a half to their favorite neighborhood restaurant. A few moments after they'd been seated and had given their order they were reminiscing over Sam's details of the party. He'd had fun and admitted it.
“Sam, are you catching feelings for Rebe?"
“No, of course not. The idea of the two of us …I'd strangle her within a week. But I am glad I went. She promised to take care of legal work for me.” He started to tell Kandi, Rebe had also promised him a date, but kept quiet on the subject. “I am glad that she's finally dumped Chase. I hope this time it's for
good. She deserves so much better."
"I think she knows that. Did you really have a good time?"
For a moment Sam stared at Kandi. Ignoring Kandi for the moment he allowed his gaze to move over the restaurant décor thinking they could use a few of his painting to liven the place up.
“You’re avoiding the question.”
His hands were moving and his face was doing strange things. Sam could only image that he had a goofy look on his face. He found to his amazement he had to work his throat muscles in order to answer.
"It's been a long time since Rebe and I have had fun. It made me remember the good times the four of us shared. I didn't know until last night how much I've missed those times."
“I’ve missed them too. Rebe hasn't been the same since Jamie died. I don't know if she ever will.”
"I know. That's one of the reasons I haven't cut her out of my life completely.”
"Right. You still didn't say if you had fun last night. Did you?"
"I did. She called me a frog prince. But she was teasing, I think,” he laughed. “And I was teasing her. At the beginning of the evening we took several snipes at each other but as the evening progressed we were bantering and saying things that made the other laugh, nothing mean. I'm glad I went with her. I think there might be hope for her."
No sooner had the words left Sam’s mouth; he was wishing he could take them back. Sam lifted his eyes and swallowed as he stared at the couple coming toward them. Something happened to him deep inside, a remembrance, a ping that summoned up sadness. For a moment he thought he was mistaken, but there was no way in the world he'd ever not know Rebe.
He glanced once more around the restaurant hoping that he’d been thrown off with his critique and his talking with Kandi about Rebe. Perhaps he’d interwoven the two. A sigh escaped him bringing the pain he was feeling to the surface. His mouth opened but he found himself once again unable to speak. He was going to make a snide comment to Kandi, to show her that he didn't care that just after a few hours of being with him; Rebe was right back with Chase. But he suddenly found himself unable to say a single thing, nothing, not one dratted word.
"What's wrong, Sam?" When Sam refused to answer Kandi glanced behind her to see what had affected Sam to the point where he could only stare at her. She couldn't prevent the long groan that escaped. Rebe with Chase. She should have known. She said a quick prayer that the couple would not see them, not move toward them, but knew it wasn't going to happen.
Kandi watched as Chase slid his arm around Rebe and looked down into her face. They both laughed as though he'd told her the funniest joke in the world. When Rebe looked away for a moment her gaze landed on Kandi before blinking. She saw her friend pause when she glanced at Sam. Kandi groaned again and wondered why Rebe had chosen this particular restaurant. Why hadn’t she gone someplace else? It wasn’t as though she didn’t know that she and Sam frequented the place. They all had back when they’d been the merry foursome.
For a moment it felt as though they were in some kind of alternate reality. Rebe was staring at them and Sam was too quiet, staring at Rebe. Kandi didn't want to but she had to ask him. "Sam, are you okay?"
"Of course I am."
"We can leave before they decide to join us?"
Sam glared at Kandi as he tried in vain to tear his eyes from Rebe. Since he couldn't he closed them and began a mental count.
"Sam, seriously, we don't have to stay."
In order to glare at Kandi he had to open his eyes, so he did. But he refused to answer her ridiculous question. What the hell? He wasn't leaving. There was nothing between him and Rebe. So why did he find himself biting his lips as Rebe made her way toward them? For a moment she looked almost apologetic, and then he noticed some kind of a change come over her, something in her eyes that said a transformation had been made, from caring friend to ditz. Damn
"Hi guys, do you mind if we join you?" Rebe asked with a half-smile.
Did they mind? Her? Maybe not so much. Chase─ yes, they minded. Sam couldn't sit there with his eyes closed in order not to look at Rebe and Chase, so he took a drink of his water and refused to answer, to meet Rebe’s gaze. He noticed Kandi had also not answered.
But did that prevent Rebe and Chase from sitting with them? Of course not. Why would they care if their mere presence bothered anyone? They were shallow, beautiful people, who thought nothing of another's feelings. To top it off, Chase was watching him with a stupid smirk on his face, alerting Sam to the fact that as always the man would say something so asinine that Sam would want to leave or deck him. Too bad he was a mature adult, and couldn't just go around decking the men Rebe wanted to date.
"Hey, Sam. How's it going? Rebe told me you went with her to her little shindig last night. I know that's so not your scene. If she hadn't been so darn stubborn, you wouldn't have had to go through that. I wanted to take her. In fact I begged to take her. I even called Kandi to plead my case. I owe you one. Thank you for looking out for my girl."
Should he have been surprised? The answer in his head was a resounding no. But hey, who could help the way their thoughts went. "Your girl? I thought the two of you had broken up.”
“We had. But Rebe can't stay angry with me.”
“Perhaps she should try harder,” Sam said through gritted teeth. “Did you make up after she returned from the dance?”
Sam wanted to stop questioning Chase, but since he didn't mind answering the questions, Sam was going to get the truth. He didn’t think Rebe was capable of giving it.
“I called her. What am I saying? I’ve been calling her constantly for the past week, cell, landline, she’s been refusing to answer. I’ve even gone to her apartment several times and banged on her door. She wouldn’t answer. And you would think working in the same office she’d have no choice but to talk to me right? Wrong. She wouldn’t talk to me at work. It was downright embarrassing. Rebe can be cold when she wants.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Excuse me.”
Sam sighed. “Okay, so if she hasn’t been talking to you, how did you end up here with her now?”
“She answered the phone without checking the caller ID. She said she thought it was you calling. Then she told me you’d taken her to the event. After a few nasty comments on her part and a thousand more apologies from me, she agreed to accept my help on this case we’re working on. There’s a ton of research and Rebe is no fool. Two lawyers working on this is a lot easier than her doing the research alone. So we made plans for this morning. I went over, we worked.”
Chase gave a smirk that had Sam wanting to deck him. His look was meant to indicate they'd done a whole lot more. That was total disrespect. How in the world Rebe put up with the guy was a mystery. “If you had so much work to do, why are you here?” Sam tapped on the table with the tines of his fork, knowing his voice sounded sharp and angry.
“We finished. I told you, the two of us doing the research for the case we’re on made the work go a lot faster.”
“I meant, why are you here, in this particular restaurant, in my neighborhood? There are plenty of restaurants by Rebe. Why didn’t you go there?”
“Are you upset about something, Sam? I knew you lived near hear and I wanted to talk to you about an idea I had, something that I think you might be interested in.”
While Chase’s words hung in the air, Sam had a horrible thought. “Were you planning on coming to my apartment?”
With a smile Chase answered. “Yes, I wanted to see your face when I told you of my idea. I also wanted to thank you for standing in for me, for taking Rebe to the dance. It's a very important event for her.”
“You don't owe me any thanks. I didn't do it for you."
“Of course I owe you my thanks. I'll bet you couldn't wait to get out of there.”
“You'd bet wrong.”
“Really. Then I guess the women kept you so busy that you didn’t have to even dance with Rebe. I know how she annoys the hell out of you.”
Count to three, don't go off on him, Sam thought. "Chase, how would you know that Rebe annoys me? Do you know that you annoy me even more?” Sam glared at Chase angered because Chase didn't even have the decency to be insulted. He just laughed and continued his spiel.
“Seriously, Sam, I know firsthand how crazy those women can get. I'll bet you were thanking God for them keeping you from Rebe.”
Was Chase really serious? Sam brought his eyes upward and glanced in Rebe’s direction, holding her gaze for a long moment. What the heck was Rebe doing with Chase?
“Listen, I’m not sure what your experience was, but I thought the women were great.” Sam stopped for a moment, glared at Chase and shook his head at Rebe before he continued. “As for Rebe, I went as her date. Why on earth would I even think of ditching her? I enjoyed her company. She's a beautiful woman who has a wicked sense of humor and intelligent conversation.”
Chase glanced at Rebe and smiled at her. Sam followed suit, but glared. Shaking his head he firmly closed his eyes and took in several hard breaths. He wanted to rescue Rebe and deck Chase. When he opened his eyes the first thing he noticed was the pleading gaze Rebe was fixing on him. He wanted to ignore her pleas. Rebe deserved to be respected by the man who accompanied her. He found himself unable to not voice his opinion.
“Rebe deserves so much more than she’s received from her boyfriends.”
“Whatever,” Chase said waving away the innuendo, not caring that Sam was talking about him not respecting Rebe. “Our relationship is not one-way. As I said, Rebe and I have been working all morning on one of her cases that she needed my help with. It's a lucky thing for her that she's dating one of the partners.”
The plea in Rebe’s eyes deepened but Sam decided to ignore it. What the heck? Where was his Rebe? Why was she pretending to be this mindless robot? Didn’t she even mind that Chase was being disrespectful to her in front of her friends? Hell he did.
Sam brought his attention back to Chase. “So, did your family buy that partnership for you, Chase?” Sam asked, not even wishing he could take back the words. But Chase’s answer did surprise him
