My Naughty Little Secret

by Finnegan, Tara

  My body cried out “more, more” and he was happy to oblige its silent call by hammering in hard and fast. I felt myself convulse into the most amazing climax, unlike any I’d ever had. The shuddering of my muscles caused Michael to lose control and I could feel the hot wet spurt of his semen inside. Then he panicked.

  “Fuck, I forgot a fucking condom, shit. When’s your period due?”

  His face was absolutely horror-struck.

  “No wonder it felt so good. I thought it was different, but I didn’t know why ‘til you came.” I giggled.

  “SIOBHAN,” he shouted. “This is fucking serious.”

  “Oh, take a chill pill, I’m on the pill. You don’t think I was relying on condoms ‘til now. They’re only about ninety-eight percent safe and I reckon we’ve had sex more than ninety-eight times so our luck was going to run out. I had to do something.”

  “Christ, thank God. Wait a minute, why didn’t you tell me?”

  Oh, um, red face time. Why didn’t I tell him? Because I liked the security of the double contraception? Because I was afraid he’d had more women than hot dinners and I was afraid I’d catch something? Because it hadn’t been an issue until now? Or maybe even just because. I don’t know.

  “Um, because I liked using condoms too,” I admitted.

  “Fuck it, I don’t believe it, first time I’ve ever had sex without a condom and I was too carried away to glory in it,” he laughed.

  “Me too. No wonder we both came so quickly,” I agreed.

  Ok, so that was a good start, his first bareback ride, and mine too, I thought. Maybe we could consider ditching them. Another thing we needed to talk about when I got back, if we survived the family thing.

  Needless to say before the night was out, we tried it again, this time both of us savouring the sensation. For me the feeling was indescribable; there was no latex catching against my flesh, or even worse occasionally my pubes. The moisture from his dick really added to the easy entry. Heaven. Definitely the way to go. On the down side, Michael found it harder to keep control and had to fight the urge to come too quickly. He said the soft wetness seemed to suck him in and make him over-excited. I didn’t doubt we would soon find our new bareback rhythm.

  It was late next morning when we woke. Usually when I stayed with Michael, we staggered our departure but we both just stuffed some cereal into our mouths and ran out the door together. As we approached the steps, I realised what we’d done. Balls! I didn’t think anyone had seen us so I tried not to make a big deal of it. I didn’t want to leave on a row. As we got in the lift, we were alone. He kissed me very quickly.

  “Have a safe trip; don’t forget to come home to me.” He brushed my cheek with his fingertips just as the doors opened. Crikey, Michael just called it home. And we were in the corridor so I couldn’t even comment. I just mouthed, “See ya later.”

  I was taking a half day, going to Ruislip to collect my stuff and heading for Heathrow airport. I would be home in Easkey by seven p.m. and I was excited. It was the longest I’d gone without a trip home since I’d arrived in London. I was having withdrawal symptoms. The need for the sea air, the sound of the local accent, fresh fish, and a family fix totally engulfed me.

  Before I left, Michael dialled my extension and asked me to come to his office. I shut the door as I entered. There on his desk was a small little teddy bear with a big bow.

  “For you to cuddle in Ireland, so you don’t miss me too much,” he said, grinning.

  Yet again, he amazed me. I realised I was a fair way to being in love myself, if I could only admit it. But my most immediate concern was how to smuggle the teddy out without it been seen and I allowed that distraction to absorb me.

  Chapter Ten

  Arriving at the small airport in Sligo, I was delighted to be met by both my parents. I hadn’t been home in what seemed like an eternity. Mam kissed me in her usual motherly way, standing on her tiptoes to reach me. She was one of the few people I knew that was smaller than me! Dad, a big hulk of a man, swept me up into a big bear hug.

  “It’s great to see you both,” I enthused.

  “And you, love, you’re looking really well. London’s agreeing with you,” Mam observed.

  “Good to see you,” agreed my more taciturn dad. “When are you going back?”

  “Heck, Dad, every time I come home, that’s the first question you ask. I’m beginning to think I should stay away longer,” I laughed. It’s a good job I wasn’t too sensitive. I knew he didn’t mean it that way, but still…

  “Donal, will you let her get her foot in the door first,” my mother scolded.

  “Sorry, Shiv, I’m turning into my old man. That was always the first question he asked me too,” Dad grinned apologetically.

  “Have you eaten?” my mother asked almost accusingly. Even if I had, I wouldn’t dare say so.

  “No, I’m starved, what’s for dinner?” I knew the answer; it was Friday, that meant fish. To tell the truth, that was really why I hadn’t eaten, that sea-fresh fish. I heard my phone jingle the text sound, but I didn’t want to appear rude so I ignored it for now.

  “Fish, spuds, and whatever veg the girls manage to prepare.” I stifled my giggle at how predictable she was. It was hard at times to remember that she had once lived a life similar to mine in London. Now she was such a …well, such a mammy!

  “So how’s the new man?” she asked in her lovely subtle as a bang from a hammer way. She obviously heard the text too. I hadn’t told them much, just that I was seeing someone from work.

  “Mmm, he’s ok…” I wasn’t ready to share just yet, not until next week was over. I was spared having to elucidate as we were pulling into our drive. The front door was open before I had even gotten out of the car. Dad carried in my weekend bag and in my haste to see everyone, I left my handbag on the floor of the car.

  “Ash, Keeva, great to see you,” I gushed.

  “Like the suit, Shiv, can I borrow it?” Aislinn asked as soon as I got through the door. Aislinn was into clothes, acting, and all things artsy-fartsy. She drove Dad nuts; she had no regard for academics and at eighteen she was in her final year at school with the state exams coming up in June. She spent all her spare time involved in the Sligo Hawks Well Theatre, either acting or as a stage hand. Keeva at sixteen-and-a-half was way more steady and driven. Already she was putting in more study hours than Ash.

  “Is Niall home yet?” I asked. He was studying computer science in Galway University, a couple of hours away.

  “Bus’ll be here in half an hour,” mini-mammy Keeva informed me. “Dinner’s timed for then, hope you can wait.”

  Granny and Granddad arrived, the half-hour passed all too quickly, and Niall was home before I could blink. We sat down to a very noisy family dinner with everyone talking at once. It was great to be home!

  At half past ten, Dad suggested a quick trip to the local, a three-minute drive away. The biting October sea breeze and the salt smell of the ocean hit me as I climbed into the car, all the more vibrant after leaving the lull of the fragrant turf fire. The car hadn’t even had the chance to warm up before we had arrived in the door of the once-thriving little pub. The Celtic Tiger, the name given to the recent economic boom, had lost its roar, and we were back in the middle of a major recession, meaning that most of the young people had moved on, not having found jobs in Ireland. There was a depressed chatter amongst the older generation and the strained sounds of one or two pathetic fiddlers and a tin whistler under the false illusion that they were entertaining people with traditional music. Traditional cat calling more like! I cringed at the scraping of the bows on the strings.

  There were still a few people around my age there, in spite of the most recent brain drain, the mass exodus of qualified and skilled youngsters to rosier climes. I gave up trying to talk to my family and gave into the social occasion. Some of my surfing friends were filling me in on the surf, some of my school friends were telling me who had gotten engaged, gotten married, or had
kids. Other friends were keeping me up to date on the seriously dilapidated social scene. My head was dizzy trying to hold it all together.

  I was delighted when Pauric came and rescued me from the melee. He must have noticed I was getting stressed. We had been friends for years and he knew me almost as well as I knew myself. We had been known to enjoy the occasional romantic moment, but nothing had ever come of it; we knew each other too well and I suppose we didn’t want to lose each other over a silly failed romance. His arm was around my waist and he was dragging me into a quiet corner before I had even said hello to him.

  “Pardon me, ladies,” he excused himself with his infamous charm, “but you have commandeered enough of this delightful lady’s attention and now it’s my turn.” The few single girls still in Easkey were simpering at him; the paired-off ones hid it well, but some of them were almost as bad. Many a dagger was coming my way, but I was used to that where he was concerned. All down the years Pauric’s girlfriends had tried to split our friendship up, but somehow, he never allowed that to happen.

  “My hero as always,” I teased.

  “I aim to please, m’lady,” he said with a bow and an impish grin. “How’re you keepin’?”

  “Great, thanks, but I can’t believe how few of the old crowd are still around. How’re you doing?”

  “Ah, Vonnie, all the better for seeing you. You wouldn’t believe how many have moved on, and too far away to come home; the States, Canada, and Australia all beckon with their promises of work and dollars, so there’s not many of us left. I’m a dying breed. At least the ones like you in England come home often.”

  I could hear the sadness in his voice. His world, hell, what had once been our world was collapsing at his feet and he was there to see it all. I don’t know how long we were catching up, but Dad came over to say it was home time. Pauric offered to drop me off. We were catching up and neither of us was in any hurry to end it, as we didn’t get to see each other that often. I chose to wait with Pauric. I noticed Dad’s smirk as he left us to it. Poor fool, didn’t he realise that ship had sailed (and sunk), as surely as the Irish Rover that was being sung in the background by most of the drinkers, years ago. I think he was hoping a nice stable Irish man would bring me home. No chance.

  We had one million bales of the best Sligo rags

  We had two million barrels of stones

  We had three million sides of old blind horses’ hides,

  We had four million barrels of bones.

  We had five million hogs, we had six million dogs,

  Seven million barrels of porter.

  We had eight million bales of old nanny goats’ tails,

  In the hold of the Irish Rover.

  “God bless the Irish,” I commented to Pauric, just before going to fetch my bag with my house keys from Dad’s car. “We were never given to exaggeration!”

  When I returned, I opened my bag to check that my keys were there. I spotted my phone winking unanswered messages and checked the screen. Michael had sent me ten texts and I missed four calls from him. The panic must have shown on my face as Pauric asked, “What’s wrong, Vonnie?”

  “Emm, not much, just about ten million missed calls and texts,” I said as calmly as I could. I seriously knew there would be hell to pay for this.

  “What was that you were saying about the Irish and exaggeration?” he laughed.

  I quickly fired off a text in reply, “Sorry, forgot phone in the car, landed safely and all well. In the pub.”

  “We’ll discuss this later. I’m in bed,” was the curt reply. Oh, shit, not good…

  Pauric arrived back from the bar with another drink. In the back end of nowhere, normal licensing laws didn’t apply, and to top it off his parents owned the pub, so there was no closing time for us. No harm, I had to forget those words. I knew I was in trouble. Part of me trembled, but the naughty part rebelled as usual. I knew it was going to be a really late night. When he leaned in to kiss me, I didn’t push him off. Hell, the damage was done already and I was full sure that next week was going to see the end of me and Michael. Luckily my common sense soon returned. I wasn’t going down that road. I kissed him one last time briefly, apologised for leading him up the garden path, and walked home.

  At seven a.m. my mobile rang. I’d only had five hours of sleep and I had a heavy day of surfing and visiting planned. I was tempted to hit the reject, but I didn’t dare. It was Michael’s number and I’d already annoyed him enough. The guilt of my very brief interlude with Pauric didn’t help.

  “Hello,” I slurred into the phone.

  “Are you still in bed? If you were home on time last night, you wouldn’t be so groggy now. I thought you were surfing early today?” he barked.

  That made me sit up and take notice, Michael wasn’t usually that crabby, and I didn’t know what had gotten into him. It was a good job he didn’t know exactly what I was at last night.

  “What’s rattled your cage?” I asked, on the defensive. I knew it was the unanswered calls.

  “Why didn’t you let me know you’d arrived safely?” he snapped. I quickly jumped out of bed. I was sharing a room with my sister and she didn’t need to hear this conversation. I had a good idea what was coming. Luckily the bathroom was vacant and I locked myself in.

  “You’re going to have to be punished for your lack of consideration,” he warned. “On Sunday evening you must come here straight after your flight and I’ll deal with you then, but for now, wet your index finger.”

  Already I could feel the fear and anticipation of the spanking, yet it was two days away. I could feel moisture glistening around my pussy. I did as I was told.

  “Rub your clit, then when you’re nice and wet, put your finger into your cunt.”

  I gasped. He knew I hated that word; he was deliberately shocking me. Yet I felt compelled to obey. Anyway, it was quite hot—being controlled in the bathroom of my childhood by a man hundreds of miles away. It felt very naughty and very exciting. I inserted my moistened finger into my vagina.

  “It’s done,” I panted down the phone.

  “Ok, now thrust it in and out until you come,” he ordered.

  I thrust my finger as instructed and circled my clit with my thumb until the increased moisture foretold my impending orgasm. I could feel my knees go like jelly and I leaned against the outdated avocado green bathroom sink. My breathing quickened and just as I came, I could hear Michael barking his instruction down the phone.

  “Now quickly, take your finger out and insert it in your anus.”

  I spluttered and protested, but Michael was having none of it.

  “Just do it, NOW,” he commanded in a voice that I didn’t dare refuse, even if the Irish Sea was separating us. I moved my hand back and with considerable discomfort inserted my finger in my bottom. From my disturbed breathing, Michael knew I had complied.

  “Good girl; we’ll talk about this when you get back. You are to be panty-less when I meet you.” He hung up without another word. I climbed into the shower reluctantly and prepared for the day. My head was fuzzy. I’d had way too much to drink and way too little sleep, and added to that a good dose of embarrassment coupled with guilt. And I still had to face Pauric for surfing. And I couldn’t even think about what, if anything, I was going to tell Michael. I couldn’t even be trusted out of his sight for one weekend.

  * * *

  I dug out my surfing gear and was just about ready to roll as I heard the knock. I opened the front door sheepishly.

  “About last night…” I greeted Pauric.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know, as usual, it didn’t happen,” he answered with a resigned voice.

  I looked at him and had a moment of clarity. Hell! It was always my fault it had never gone any further. I always did this. And he always put up with it. I was totally guilt-ridden; I had spent years playing this game with him, never considering how he felt about it. He was way too nice for someone like me.

  “Why do you put up with me?” I asked g
uiltily.

  “Dunno, I just keep hoping one day you won’t regret it.”

  “Look, there’s someone in London; I shouldn’t have been with you last night. And we both always knew I’d leave here and you’d stay.”

  “Yeah, but you might just come back when you’re done flying free…I want to be here when that happens.”

  “And I might never come back; don’t waste your life waiting.”

  “Come on, let’s go,” he coaxed, changing the subject. I realised he always did that too. The same old pattern over and over. But it was different now; there was Michael.

  Usually when there was someone else on the scene for either of us, the other backed off. This was the first time either of us had cheated together. So one kiss wasn’t exactly cheating, but I still felt bad. I had hated it when Brian had cheated, and now I felt I was no better.

  We hit the beach, suited up, and went out on the waves. The surfing was brilliant, really high rollers. I was flying high and had forgotten my row with Michael and my illicit kiss with Pauric. The adrenaline was pumping. I lost track of time and sense of responsibility. I rode every wave I could and as the stormy waters were rising, Pauric was trying to tell me to get off the water. Of course I didn’t listen and eventually hit a nasty breaker, got thrown off the board, and it snapped back, hitting me. I didn’t care. I was on a high. That was surfing, that was bitchin’. And those waves were the very reason surfers came to Easkey from all over Ireland and indeed Europe. Heaven. I was still high when I got home. Mam met me at the door.

  “Your phone rang four times and I eventually answered it; who’s Michael?”

  Feck, I could feel the high from the surfing drain away from my body. I really didn’t need another lecture. I couldn’t help wondering about the monster I had helped to create. But I also knew that if I wasn’t facing next week’s uncertainty, I would probably see it differently. I was confused as hell. And with all this insecurity hanging over me, I really didn’t want to be explaining his existence at home, as he could be gone within the week. For a moment or two, I really wished I could forget Michael, forget London, and settle for a quiet life in Easkey with Pauric, like my mother did with my dad, but deep down I knew that would never be me. I went into the deserted front room and called Michael with trepidation.