My Naughty Little Secret

by Finnegan, Tara

  “I knew it would be a problem for you; why do you think I hid it so long? And another thing, again you’ll need to think about it, but in my opinion, you should take Myra’s job. It was yours anyway. Before you or I knew it. At least think about it. Banbury’s needs you almost as much as I do.”

  I sighed, I really couldn’t dwell on that one tonight, I had more than enough on my plate. I’d mull it over tomorrow when I was at home and maybe discuss it with the girls, get their views on the subject. And maybe Myra. Christ, why was nothing ever easy in life?

  It was my turn to talk. We had walked into this crazy sexual and spanking world without ever discussing it properly. Although I enjoyed the thrill of it, I explained that I thought it was making everything too intense. I was scared that the speed of the relationship and the depth of it were largely due to the sexual excitement. I was afraid that it wasn’t real, that we were being blinded by it. Michael didn’t agree. He felt the eroticism was separate to the emotional connection. Just as intense and passionate, but only a part of the whole picture. We both agreed that there was a huge element of trust required to delve into this world and maybe that made us closer, but still we had to learn to trust enough to actually talk about it instead of rush headlong into it.

  “I’m always too embarrassed to talk about it,” I admitted with a blush. “Jesus, it’s so flipping crazy. I feel like a screw-up for wanting to be spanked and disciplined. And worse, I let you stick things up my bum and I liked it.”

  He was laughing at me again, but I didn’t mind it this time. I knew it was good-natured. It was probably often good-natured in the past too, but I was so sensitive about it, I didn’t see it that way.

  “And I’m not a screw-up to want to do it to you? So we’re two screw-ups together. And I like sticking things up your bum; it’s a real turn-on. And that’s not all I’m going to stick there. When you’re ready, I’m going in. Now who’s the sick one?”

  We talked about the discipline issues more openly than ever before and by the time we finished we had a kind of a game plan on where we wanted it to bring us.

  “So when are you bringing me to Ireland? You met my family, now I want to meet yours,” Michael asked as the conversation finally started to dry up.

  “Let’s give it another little while before we go down that road. I need a few weeks to get my head around all of this, and work. Please.”

  “So who’s hiding who now?” he teased, but I knew he was a little hurt.

  “A few weeks, then we’ll organise something. Anyway, I’m only just back. I‘m not hiding you, they know there is someone “sniffing around” as my dad crudely puts it.”

  Michael laughed at the turn of phrase and seemed happy enough to let the subject drop for now, anyway.

  “I love you, Siobhan Brennan, I’ll wait, as long as I have to.” It still didn’t feel right to say the words back; I had only just met the real Michael Henrii. I needed more time.

  “I know I asked you this before, but will you bring a couple of changes of clothes and things over here? I know you won’t move in yet, after all that’s happened, but it’d make life easier if you had some stuff here.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I agreed, mainly for a quiet life.

  * * *

  Claire was grinning at me as I came home the next day.

  “I take it you sorted yourselves out then. I’m glad; you were a miserable auld cow without him.”

  “Sorry,” I muttered, chagrined.

  “Ach, don’t be silly, I’m just glad you’ve sorted yourselves out. I mightn’t agree with what you do, but any fool can see you’re both mad about each other. So how did you end up meeting him anyway? I thought you were going to see James.”

  She listened open-mouthed as I filled her in on Michael’s identity, the job offer, the offer with Lynham’s and the big dilemma I had to resolve.

  “Shit, never a dull life, Shiv. So have you any idea what you’re gonna do? About any of it? What about Michael for starters, can you move on from there?”

  “I think so; I can understand why he did it. I’m more worried about the future than the past there, fuck it, he’s the future MD of Banbury’s, I’m Siobhan Brennan of Easkey, ne’er the twain shall meet. Our worlds are so different and I’m not sure if I want or can cope with his world.”

  “Why, d’ya not think you’re good enough or something?”

  “I dunno; it’s just something I never wanted. I like a quiet life, being able to do what suits me.”

  “And what makes you think it’d be different with Michael?”

  “Bloody hell, Claire, have you any idea how many people know of James Banbury? Michael will end up just like him; he’s only gotten away with it ‘til now by living in France. Once he takes over it’ll be the same.” I knew I was being a bit irrational, panicking in advance, but still it was a reasonable fear.

  “And what about the job? You gonna do it or go back to Lynham’s?”

  “That’s the biggest pisser of the lot; it’s a dream job, and only for Michael I’d snap it up.”

  “Well, then do, what difference does he really make?”

  “Everyone will think I got it by screwing the future boss.”

  “No, they won’t. You’ll be in the job before he’s MD; you’ve been there long enough for people to know you’re damn good at what you do. If you want it take it. You’d be an eejit to go back to Lynham’s after what happened. They treated you like shit.”

  I knew she was right, but I still didn’t feel good about apparently taking advantage of my position, that’s how I saw it. Tara was of the same opinion as Claire, but she would never let a man stand in her way, so I didn’t take as much comfort from her advice. I really wanted to talk to Mam or Dad, but I was afraid to because there was so much to tell them and Dad’d freak if he thought Michael had taken me for a ride. I had to be careful how I handled that one, as there would be a good chance I might be taking him home at Christmas.

  I passed a very restless night, all the options mulling over in my head. The only thing I was sure of was that I preferred Michael in my life than out of it. He made me feel complete and I didn’t want to contemplate a life without him. Work was a different story; I loved Banbury’s, but I was afraid that if I stayed, it would put too much pressure on our relationship. What if Michael did the dominating man act at work and overruled me on something important? That would do untold damage, especially if it meant he undermined me in the eyes of others. I’d find it very hard to forgive that, yet it could easily happen just because of the dynamics of our relationship. I realised we were far from through talking about all this stuff. We had only just started. No matter how embarrassing I found it, we were going to have to start communicating if we were going to make this work. Even though it was 3:00 a.m., I shot off an email from my phone asking him for a meeting first thing. I felt justified doing it on work time because I couldn’t make up my mind about the job until we figured ourselves out a bit.

  * * *

  I had to sleep in, didn’t I? The one damn morning everyone was going to notice. James and Michael both rang as I was rushing for the tube. James was pretty cool once he knew I was on the way. I wish I could say the same for his damn son. Michael blew a fuse. Told me I had to come and see him as soon as I came in. He was always a stickler for punctuality, but the fact that I had requested a meeting at nine and then hadn’t made it really wound him up. Added to that he had been in a panic that I had decided not to come to work. Gah! A good dose of Xanax would do him no harm at all before he landed himself in an early grave with a heart attack.

  I hadn’t even taken my coat off when Myra, James, and Michael were all queuing up. Myra to tell me James and Michael were looking for me, James to see if I’d arrived yet and to ask me to see him when I was ready, and the bold Michael had seen me pass his door and wouldn’t bloody wait for me to put my bag under my desk. At least Myra and James greeted me with a smile and a “Good morning”; Michael was a scowl and a “You�
�re late for our meeting.” I could see James and Myra exchange glances at his rudeness.

  I followed him to his office, only to wish I hadn’t.

  “You can’t treat me like this at work, Michael,” I warned. “Two days ago you said I’d be letting Banbury’s down if I left now that Myra’s leaving, but if I’m going to stay, you’re going to have to treat me like any other employee.”

  “Panties first, then we’ll talk about it. And you’re coming home with me at lunchtime for a spanking.”

  God, he was like a petulant child. But it was hot. The door was shut and I turned the key. As requested, I removed my panties and threw them at him. He caught them deftly and brought them to his face, sniffed and kissed them. I was quite horrified at his actions. As soon as those formalities were over, it was like someone flicked a switch. He came over, kissed me, and told me how relieved he was to see me; that he had been afraid I had decided not to come back to work. Then he unlocked the door, but left it shut.

  “What did you want to talk about, Shiv?” he asked, all sweetness and light.

  I had to laugh. “Exactly that, Michael! About how I wasn’t going to be able to continue working here unless you started treating me the same as everyone else. I trust you’re not going to make every employee who is late hand over their knickers.”

  “Fair comment,” he grinned. “No, I think you’d be pretty busy with harassment claims at that rate. But you’re not the same as every employee.”

  “Maybe not, but you can’t undermine me in front of others like that; personal stuff has to be kept personal. Otherwise I’ll have to leave. I’d like to stay and try it out, but it very much depends on how you’re going to treat me. If I disagree with you or displease you at work, you’ll just have to put up with it or address it through the normal channels.”

  “True, but if you upset me personally, like you did this morning, then I’m also going to address that through the normal channels. But I accept I could have been more polite in public. I apologise for that, I won’t do it again, but I’m still going to spank you at lunchtime.”

  God, I wanted him to shut up. I couldn’t go and meet James when I was sexually charged like that. I’d have to calm down a bit.

  “So, if I act reasonably, you’ll accept the job then, is that what you’re saying?”

  “Nope, what I’m saying is if you act reasonably then I’ll consider accepting the job as opposed to refusing it outright. I need to talk to James, and if he doesn’t mind there are some questions I’d like to ask Myra. Now I’m off to see your father, see you at lunchtime.” I blew him a cheeky kiss. “By the way, does anyone here have a clue who you are?”

  “Dermot Clayton, that’s it for now.”

  “So why the big secret?”

  “A few reasons. I didn’t know if I’d be any good at the job and I didn’t know if I’d stay. But I wanted everyone to treat me as an equal when I started.”

  “They’re going to be pretty pissed off, you know,” I commented from bitter experience.

  “Yeah, Dad said that all along, but this was how I wanted it, now I’ll have to deal with the fallout. I’d imagine the rest will be pussycats compared to you though!”

  I poked my tongue out at him for his dig. I’d had good reason. I skipped off out of the office to see James and discuss the role some more. He greeted me with a smile as always.

  “I’m so glad to see you. I was afraid when you were late that you had decided not to come back.”

  “I wouldn’t have done that, James. I’d have worked out my notice. But I’m considering accepting the position, that is, if you don’t mind me discussing it with Myra first.”

  “Not at all; by the way, here’s your formal offer, and Myra warned me to send you away to read it, she says I try to railroad people into doing things I want. You must learn to ignore me at times and Michael too. We’re both too used to getting our own way.”

  I grinned at that as I thanked him. “Like father, like son; I can see I’ll need to get tough,” I offered as a parting comment.

  In spite of his gruffness, James was a very kind, likeable man. In a way I wasn’t sorry he turned out to be Michael’s father. At least he was the devil I knew. It was only the trappings that worried me.

  I went to Michael’s for lunch as arranged. He gave me his key, and told me he’d be a few minutes late as he was going to pick up some lunch. I was waiting in the kitchen when I got a text from him.

  “Go to the second shelf in my wardrobe, fetch the small anal plug and the lube, insert it and wait for me in the usual position. If not done, spanking doubled. M”

  Crikey, this was a big ask, it really tested my obedience. I debated with myself whether I should comply or disobey, but I figured if I wanted to be able to sit for the afternoon, I’d better do as I was bidden. I went to his bedroom and removed my skirt, lubed up the plug and tried to insert it. I couldn’t. I tried several times and failed each attempt, and with each failure I got more uptight, fearing the recriminations and also fearing the discomfort that it brought as I tried to insert it. When Michael put it in he was able to push past my body’s resistance, but once my brain registered the discomfort my hands refused to push it further. I was almost crying with frustration when the door opened. I thought I was in for it, but the fact that I had tried really hard to submit to his wishes made him so impressed that he didn’t give me any extra punishment. He easily slipped it into place. Then told me put on his robe and come for lunch. He didn’t wait for me to rise from my position so he didn’t get a look at the surprise I had in store for him.

  He had lunch laid out on the table and of course he made me sit through it, wearing the plug, before administering my spanking. He really liked to add to the anticipation. In spite of the plug, I felt a bit smug about the ace I had up my sleeve that would distract him.

  Having cleared the lunch dishes, Michael told me to take off the robe and lean over with my hands and body spread on the table. Without a second request I did exactly as I was asked. He wasn’t looking at me; he was intent on getting the food and dishes cleared away. Better and better; I wanted the element of surprise. I’d been really careful earlier while removing my panties not to let him see. He went off to his bedroom, stroking my awaiting behind as he passed me, but the way I had positioned myself, he couldn’t have known. He came back within seconds and the swishing sound announced his imminent arrival before I could see him. I recognised that sound, I’d heard it only two days ago but under entirely different circumstances. Then I had the whip hand, so to speak. I could feel the raw feelings mount. Nerves, excitement, fear, anticipation, a double-edged sword. And as these feelings mounted, it caused a tension in my muscles, making me clench around the plug. Always in this world, our world, there was a double-edged sword; pain and pleasure on a knife edge, which would it be? And even the pain was pleasure, in the strangest most basal way. I was trembling, but even I couldn’t have said why, arousal or unease. As he positioned himself behind me, he swished the birch menacingly through the air.

  “Widen your legs a bit,” he ordered. I obliged and heard an exclamation.

  “Fuck, you did what I asked. That’s one of the reasons I love you so much: the things you do to please me.”

  There was a thin strip of hair, about one centimetre wide by two centimetres long. The rest was bald. His breathing changed and I smugly thought, that’s it, I’m in for an easy time. Wrong! He was over-excited and the urge to dominate was magnified. He whipped me hard over and over. I lost count, but he kept commenting on the colour of my bottom as a thing of beauty. Every so often he applied more pressure to the plug with his hand. He was totally carried away until I yelled stop at the top of my voice. Jeez, I wasn’t one given to tears, but I was holding them back. Not from remorse—I didn’t feel guilty, anyone could have slept in—but from sheer pain. But the pain brought such a high. I’ve never done heroin, but I can imagine it would have brought that same out-of-body experience. Once he stopped flogging me, I c
ould feel the onslaught and in spite of (or because of) the extremity of the spanking, my body convulsed into a totally unexpected and spontaneous orgasm. Every fibre of my being went into overload. He removed the plug and then he entered me. No requests, consent, soothing, foreplay, or anything else. He just took me. And fuck me, it was incredible. But he wasn’t waiting around; either I could go at his tempo, or forget it. He was master, I was slave. I loved it. And I beat him to it, twice, before he violently deposited his juice as deep in my womanly core as was humanly possible. And we still had to go back to work! I showered as quickly as I could; I couldn’t be late twice in one day. And I had no intention of walking in with him. I kissed him goodbye and scarpered on up the road.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The week of Myra’s departure came around all too soon. I was getting really nervous about taking over. I began to doubt my experience and ability, but Michael was so encouraging. He warned me if I didn’t stop with the self-doubt, he’d have to teach me to believe in myself. I knew only too well what that meant, so I tried to be positive. The problem with Banbury’s was the lack of layers of management. I would have no one to turn to, I was about to become the expert on personnel management in the management team and it was a daunting prospect. We had spent the last couple of weeks recruiting both a new personnel assistant and an administrator. What did I know about managing staff? The odd thing was that James pretty much left it to me. It was so different from when they interviewed me; he had been the dominant force. He seemed to be winding down to retirement, and leaving the next generation of management to get on with creating their own little empires. And Michael was absolutely no help; he wouldn’t even sit in on the interviews as he said it would be impossible for him to explain his presence there.

  Michael was recruiting too, a PA and an assistant head of buying, with a view to taking over his role when he became MD, and I was participating in those interviews. His style was so different from his father’s. Michael didn’t engage as much with the candidate. He was more reserved. And he didn’t really give the impression that he was the soul of Banbury’s the way James had at my interview. I suppose he hadn’t become it yet! It was funny to watch him try to imply that the role of head of buying was soon going to be vacated without saying too much. He really had made life difficult for himself by his self-imposed secrecy. He was adamant he wasn’t going to reveal the truth until the store’s birthday bash, when he would be announced as successor to James. I was very apprehensive about how everyone would react. People just don’t enjoy being deceived, especially in such a calculated manner. I was afraid he might lose the respect he had built up among our colleagues, but there was no talking to him. To add insult to injury, he was really putting pressure on me to be officially his date for the evening, which was another surprise being pulled out of the hat on the same day. I thought it was all too much.