by Tenaya Jayne
"Vincent!" I screamed. "Vincent!"
The man grabbed my face roughly, forcing me look at him. He leaned his face down so that it was only two inches from mine, his hellish breath spilling over my skin.
"Vincent doesn’t exist," he hissed.
I felt my eyes bulge. "What?"
He stood upright, grabbed the front of my shirt, and ripped it open, pointing the massive needle at my chest, poised and ready.
"You’re c-a-r-a-z-y!" he laughed manically, his eyes spinning and thrust the needle into my heart.
I sat bolt upright in bed, my heart slamming against my ribs. It was like having an asthma attack, though I didn’t have asthma. The air was too thin, my lungs were constricting in pain. Loud gasping sobs burst forth from my mouth. I felt dizzy and confused.
It was just a dream, I told myself. Calm down. Breathe.
Then Vincent was there. He put his arms about me. It was the first time I felt anger toward him. How could he have let me dream that?! Why didn’t he stop it? Hot indignation scorched my insides and I stiffened in his arms. His body responded in kind and he pulled away.
"I’m sorry," he said quietly. "I wasn’t close enough to stop it. I thought you needed some space. I shouldn’t have stayed away that long. Forgive me."
The anger began to ebb away. Now I was curious. "Where did you go?"
"To the forest. That’s where I go when I’m not with you."
I plunged myself into his chest, desperate for the comfort of his arms. He rocked me slowly. It was hard to stop crying. I suspected Vincent had seen what I dreamed, but he didn’t say a word about it. We lay down together and he comforted me.
I didn’t sleep anymore that night and was relieved when I could see dawn approaching. We never spoke of my nightmare, and it became the first burden I bore alone in his company, all my other burdens he had taken away. The nightmare haunted me. I couldn’t talk to him about it, but I couldn't forget it either.
Later that morning, after I got up and showered, my uncle called. I had been waiting for the phone to ring ever since I opened my eyes. Vincent seemed oblivious, sitting at the table sipping his tea. I picked up the phone at the second ring, feeling numb.
"Hello."
"Hi there!" Uncle Jack boomed into the phone. "How are you this morning?"
"Not so good," I said honestly. "I didn’t sleep well."
"Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Are you ready for the good news?"
"Lay it on me," I said, ready for the axe to fall.
"I will be home very late tonight!" he exclaimed. "I’ll get in around three in the morning."
"Well, then I guess I won’t see you until tomorrow," I said miserably.
"Yeah, I guess. Well, I’ve got to get moving so I can catch my flight. See you soon!"
"Have a safe flight," I said politely.
I hung up, feeling worse than ever. This was the day after I had become the future Mrs. Vincent Sands. I should have been happier than I ever had been, I was miserable. I should have been happy to see my uncle, but all I wanted was his time at home to go by as quickly as possible. My tension was building in my stomach like a huge knot forever pulling tighter.
"Dulcee? What did he say?"
"Tonight. He’ll be home late tonight." Misery coursed through my voice.
I turned around to face Vincent and he was right in my face, smiling broadly.
"Will you go on a date with me?" He asked with such an immature demeanor I couldn’t help laughing out loud. Vincent chuckled with me, obviously meaning to be funny.
"Well, I’m not sure," I teased. "I think you might be one of those guys who try to take advantage of innocent girls. But I might reconsider. What did you have in mind?"
"I want to take you to the movies."
"Oh really? Do you mean to take me to the theater downstairs?"
"Yes," he said. "Our showing starts at noon. What do you say, Cutie? Go out with me?"
"Oh, all right. You talked me into it, just don’t try and put any cheap moves on me." I warned him. He held his fingers up in a "scout’s honor" salute. His playfulness made me feel worlds better.
"See you down there," he said.
"Okay. I’ll be there at noon."
He kissed me softly in parting. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
I decided to straighten up the house while Vincent was getting the movie ready. There wasn’t too much to do, just some laundry. When noon rolled around, I went downstairs to the theater. All my stress was forgotten. The theater was lots of fun. It looked just like a real movie theater. There were regular movie house seats, a small concession stand with a popcorn machine and soda fountain, and running lights along the floor.
Vincent was standing by the door when I came down.
"And I thought you were going to stand me up," he said, smiling.
"That would be stupid of me; you’re the best catch in the house."
"That’s funny. I was just thinking the same thing about you." he retorted, drilling his finger into my ribs.
We both laughed and went into the theater. We had a wonderful time watching an old black and white film. My heart felt lighter with the distraction. Everything Vincent did was so extraordinary, it was refreshing to just sit and do something normal for a change.
When the movie was over, we walked outside along the edge of the lake. The late afternoon air was exceptionally cold and hard to breathe. I somehow managed to babble at him. I talked about the kind of wedding I wanted us to have, and where I wanted to live. I did most of the talking, jabbering on happily. It took me a while to notice that Vincent had grown quiet and introverted. He was listening to me, but I could see he was troubled.
"What’s wrong?" I had never seen him looking so disjointed.
He sighed heavily. "I was just thinking about how much I’m going to miss you this week."
"Oh…" He popped my happy balloon. Looking around I saw that the evening was coming swiftly and all my elation seemed to evaporate. Vincent would have to leave me in a few short hours.
"I’m going to miss you, too," I said quietly. "More than I can express."
I didn’t want to talk about separating. I knew if I kept thinking about it, the last few hours would be an ache. He held both my hands and looked unflinchingly into my eyes. My cold fingers burned in his hands. His eyes were so intense, it made my pulse hammer. A strange concentration filled his face.
"Look into me," he whispered. "Don’t close your eyes."
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I thought he meant to look inside me, like he had the first time we kissed. I was wrong. Just as I had been amazed at Vincent’s power over the solarium, I was yet again filled with awe with what he did to me. And just as it had been with our first contact, the sound of our hearts filled my ears. First, beating in opposition and then in harmonious agreement. I didn’t know this was possible outside of my dreams.
The beautiful watery blue of his irises and the black depths of his pupils vanished, and the inner orb of his eyes filled with dancing blue flames. The freezing fire inside me exploded throughout my body. Every inch of me was burning cold. It hurt. It hurt so bad I was screaming inside. Then his spirit was inside me, somehow. And his spirit began tearing mine from my body, pulling me out of myself. Along with the screaming in my head, I could hear the vicious sound of ripping. My body gave a momentary struggle, and then gave in. I was flying. All the pain was gone, there was nothing but pleasure. My spirit left my body and intertwined with his. My flesh fell away. We danced and passed through one another like a breeze through a ghost. We were one being for a split second, maybe less, then it was over. I was falling fast, crashing into palpable again, my spirit poured back into my body like dust from a shattered glass. My knees gave. Our connection was broken, and he caught me about the waist as I fell.
I was gasping for air, my mind reeling. It was like trying to breathe water. Panic rose in me as I asphyxiated.
"Shh," Vincent whispered, placi
ng his hand on my chest. My panic quieted as I felt relaxation come to my lungs.
"Dulcee? Dulcee! I'm sorry!" he cried. "I’m so sorry! I was selfish to bind you that long. You can only withstand a second of being pulled from your flesh. I was overcome by you. I held on too long. Please, Dulcee, forgive me."
I couldn’t answer. Too spent to speak. I wasn’t angry. Though I was suffering some aftermath, it was utterly worth it. If I had died in the act, it would have been worth it, an unequivocal moment. If anyone could claim they’d had an out-of-body experience, it was me. And if I wasn't mistaken, the experience almost killed me.
Vincent swung me up into his arms. I felt like a rag doll. My limbs hung lifelessly and my head fell back over his arm. I looked at the sky, not having much of a choice to look anywhere else, as he carried me to the house. I could feel my insides trying to put themselves back together, like Velcro. And even though I could tell it was working and I was glued back together again, there was a new weakness there. The breath of a fissure, a hairline fracture. I could feel it when I breathed in and out. I hoped I would always feel it. It would remind me of this moment forever.
Once inside the house, Vincent laid me down on the couch and went to get me a glass of water. My eyes were dry and everything was blurry. Vincent returned with my water and sat down next to me. He held my head up and gently put the rim of the glass to my lips. The cold water running down my throat felt like a spring of life, and I began to feel some strength returning to me. When the glass was empty, Vincent put it down and turned from me. He slumped over and put his head in his hands, trembling. It took me a few seconds to realize he was crying. I was horrified.
"Why are you crying?" I hissed, which was all I could manage.
"I hurt you, didn't I?" he asked in a whisper.
"No. I don’t think so…That was the most amazing experience of my whole life. Whatever small physical price it has had on me, I would have you do it again, in a heartbeat." But as I said it, I wondered if it was a small price or a rather large one instead.
"Do you want something to eat?"
I hadn’t been thinking of food, but now that it was mentioned, I felt like I hadn’t eaten in days. I nodded my head and began to sit up. Vincent put his hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me back down.
"I’ll bring it to you. You just rest."
He handed me the remote and went to the kitchen. I lay there quietly waiting for Vincent to return, flipping channels on the TV. It was the first time I had watched TV since Vincent had come into my life. It was more boring to me than it ever had been before. My life was so full, I didn’t feel the desire to sit and watch fake people having fake lives. All that did was take away my time to live my own life. The only channel I stopped on was the weather channel. Snow, snow, and more snow.
I sighed, annoyed. I hoped when my uncle arrived home he would not be stranded and would be able to fly back to California in a week’s time and no longer. Vincent returned with a plate of food for me. I handed him the remote and turned my attention to the sandwich. I ate slowly and Vincent watched the TV absentmindedly. The food worked like the water had, I felt more like myself, but I was exhausted.
It was nighttime now. The sky outside was dark. I was so weary, but the last thing I wanted to do was go to sleep. I wanted to spend every minute I could with Vincent before Uncle Jack came home.
"You look like you’re ready to go to bed," Vincent said, looking down at me.
"No! I want to be with you as long as I can." I started to cry without realizing it. "And I don’t want to be together just when I’m asleep. I want to be awake."
Vincent smiled and wiped my tears away. "Okay, Sweet Love, we’ll stay up."
I was feeling strong enough to walk now, or stagger. Vincent pulled me up off the couch and wrapped his arm around my waist. I glued myself to his side and we slowly lumbered down to the solarium. It was almost as it had been when he proposed, except the moon was not full. We sat down together on the edge of the fountain.
"During this next week, when you miss me, come in here, and if it is safe, I will meet you."
"What if Uncle Jack comes in here? How can I explain all the plants and flowers?" I was panicked by the thought of it. Vincent just smiled.
"Don’t worry, if he comes here, it will look just like it did when he left. He won't be able to see what I've done."
I didn’t question him. I didn’t have the energy. I just shrugged and laid my head on his shoulder. We sat for a while enjoying the atmosphere. It was so peaceful I almost dozed off. Vincent looked at the sky through the glass ceiling and decided it was time to leave. He hefted me to my feet and pulled me along to the library.
I hadn't been in there for a while, I had missed it. Vincent set me down on one of the long benches and walked pointedly across the room. He pulled a book from the masses and brought it over to me.
"This is our book, Dulcee," he said, handing it to me.
It looked like a copy of the Blue Aspen book I had up in my room, but all the pages were blank. I looked at Vincent, quizzically.
"When you miss me, you can come here, too. Just pick up our book and open it." he said, taking the book from my hands and opening it to the center. A small note fell from the pages into his hand. He smiled and handed the little note to me.
"All the love letters you could possibly ever want are here. And you can use its blank pages to write to me."
I was happy to have lines of communication with him. He put the book back. I watched carefully, so I would remember where it was. I grasped the little note tightly in my hand, wanting to save it for later. We left the library and went up stairs to the living room. The huge grandfather clock chimed twice, two in the morning. A wave of anxiety crashed over me. Uncle Jack would be home in one hour. What if he was early? I looked over at Vincent who was looking apprehensive too.
"Time for bed," he said seriously. I nodded and we headed up to our room.
I got ready for bed while Vincent adjusted the control panel in Uncle Jack’s room. He set it back the way Uncle Jack had left it. He came back to our room and we lay down together. Hot tears were raining down my face. I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving me.
"I love you, Dulcee," he whispered. "I will be with you when you sleep."
"I’ll sleep as much as I can," I said, through my tears. "I'll take sleeping pills."
"Don't do that!"
I yawned deeply. "Why not?"
Vincent's head snapped up. "Your Uncle is approaching. Go to sleep, Baby. Have no fear. I will never leave you. Just go to sleep."
Reaching out to him, he kissed me sweetly. I could taste his emotions on his lips and it was bittersweet in my mouth. He was saddened to separate from me. I could taste that, along with a passion that was difficult to comprehend.
He turned out the light and settled next to me as if he was going to be there all night. Against my will, I fell into an uneasy sleep. I awoke a few minutes later. I heard the door slam shut downstairs, and when I sat up in bed, I was the only one in it. Vincent had gone. I whimpered, trying hard not to bawl.
I went quietly to the window and looked out. He was standing by the lake looking up to my room. He smiled when he saw me and held up his hand in a parting gesture. I waved back and he turned and disappeared into the forest.
I shuddered slightly I ached for him already. I released the little note still clutched in my sweating palm and unfolded it. It was the best one he had ever written.
I pulled myself deep inside my soul, and discovered there a gently gaping hole, a hole just the shape of you. Climb inside, My Love. Curl up and sleep.
I put the note in the box on the mantle and crept back to bed. I could hear Uncle Jack coming up the stairs. If nothing had changed in the time he was away, I would have run out to greet him. However, I had no desire to let him know I was awake. I didn’t want to see him a moment before I had to. He tiptoed past my door and down the hall to his room. I felt numb inside. I knew if I let myself fe
el what I was longing to, I would never sleep, and sleep was where I wanted to be. I lay down and pretended Vincent was beside me, and the second I fell asleep it was so.
"Hey Baby," he said quietly, stroking my hair. "I miss you, already."
"And I you. Please make my dreams tonight really special." I pleaded.
He smiled. "I’ll try my best. What would you like to do?"
I thought about it for a second. Vincent was like a shadow of his actual self. It seemed that maybe his power diminished over distance. I wanted to leave the earth and soar above all my cares, with Vincent by my side, forgetting the waking world existed at all. I told him what I wanted.
He looked thoughtful for a moment and then smiled broadly. "I know just the thing. But we really shouldn’t, you know."
