Jaded (Music City Moguls Book 5)

by Cheryl Douglas

“There are just some things I need to deal with here. I’m sorry about dinner. I’ll try to make it up to you when I get back.”

  There was something wrong. She could hear it in his voice. “Honey, what is it? What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

  “There’s nothin’ wrong,” he said, sounding exasperated. “This is what you signed on for. I’m a musician. I’m not some goddamn office worker who does his nine to five and is home for dinner by six every night.”

  She tried not to be hurt by his tone, assuming the stress of the demands being placed upon him were wearing him down. “I never said you were. I’m sorry, but I think I have a right to know what’s going on. We’re supposed to be in a relationship.”

  “Yeah, well maybe you’re lookin’ for more than I can give right now.”

  Her heart sank. She thought things were going well. When they talked yesterday afternoon he told her he loved her and couldn’t wait to see her again. What happened between then and now to change his mind? Only one thing she could think of. “You met someone else last night, didn’t you?”

  “What?” he shouted.

  “You slept with her, didn’t you? That’s why you’re giving me the brush off, isn’t it?”

  “You’re out of your mind, woman.”

  “You can deny it all you want,” she said, thinking back to a time when Bryan had done the same. He made it seem like she was the one with the problem. She was being paranoid. She was the reason their relationship was breaking down. “I can hear it in your voice. You’re lying to me. You’re keeping secrets and that can only mean one thing.”

  “I can’t do this right now. If you want to believe the worst about me, I’m not going to waste my time defendin’ myself.”

  It took her a minute to realize he’d actually hung up on her! She threw the phone against the wall, muttering a stream of obscenities that would have made her mother blush.

  “Hey,” Connor said, tapping on her bedroom door. “Are you okay? I was up getting a drink of water and I heard—” He looked at the broken cell phone lying on the floor. “I guess I don’t have to ask what that noise was. You wanna talk about it?”

  She threaded her hand through her tangled hair as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She refused to cry. At least not in front of Connor. “You were right about him. He cheated on me.”

  He stepped into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. “He told you that?”

  “He didn’t have to tell me. I could hear it in his voice.” She swallowed repeatedly, cursing the burn at the back of her throat. “He called to tell me he wouldn’t be coming home for a few more days. No reason. He just wouldn’t be home, and when I questioned him about it, he got all defensive. What does that tell you?”

  Connor shrugged. “It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating on you.”

  Josie narrowed her eyes at her friend. “Why are you defending him? You hate him.”

  Smirking, he said, “I don’t hate him. I just hate that he’s with you and I’m not.”

  His honesty earned him a half-smile. At least someone was being honest with her today. “Why didn’t I listen to my gut? I knew this would happen if I let my guard down with a guy like D.J.”

  “Hey,” Connor said, reaching for her hand. “Don’t beat yourself up for taking a chance. At least you had the courage to find out for yourself instead of running the other way and living with regret.”

  “Yeah, and what did I get as a reward? A broken heart, that’s what.” At the mention of her fragile heart, the floodgates opened and she couldn’t hold the tears back any longer.

  Connor inched closer, pulling her into his arms and resting her head on his shoulder. “Don’t cry. He’s not worth it.”

  She knew he was right, but that didn’t stop the flood of tears from falling. Instead of trying to defend D.J. or apologize for her outpouring of emotion, she sobbed softly on Connor’s shoulder, grateful for the support of a strong shoulder to lean on. She told herself he was just returning the favor, being there for her because she’d been there for him. But a part of her knew he was the last person she should be turning to for comfort.

  “I’m okay,” she said, easing out of his arms. “I just need a minute to pull myself together.”

  He ran a hand over her damp cheek, wiping away her tears. “Take it from someone who knows, it takes a hell of a lot longer than a minute to recover from a loss like that.”

  Josie knew he was talking about them, but she didn’t have the strength to acknowledge it. “I’ll be fine,” she said sniffling as she reached for a tissue on her bedside table. “I won’t let this break me. If I can survive the breakdown of my marriage and walk away from a guy I’d been with almost half my life, I can survive this. I barely know D.J. By this time next week, I’ll have forgotten all about him.”

  “If you say so, hon.” He got up, pausing at the door as he cast a glance over his shoulder. “Just remember, I’m here if you need me.”

  She didn’t need Connor. She didn’t need anyone.

  ***

  D.J. cursed when he tried calling Josie back and it went straight to her voice mail. What had he been thinking, hanging up on her like that? Of course she would have questions about why he had to stay in Macon. He would have had questions too, if he were in her shoes. But he couldn’t tell her yet. Especially not over the phone. When he got home, after he’d had time to process this and figure out where he and his son would go from here, then he would tell Josie. And pray for the best possible outcome for all of them.

  “I’m sorry you had to stop by so early,” Carol said, coming around the corner with two steaming cups of coffee in her hand. “But since Dustin’s leaving town for a few days, I knew this would be the only chance you’d have to see him.”

  “It’s not a problem.” He was hoping after he met Dustin, his son would agree to spend a few days with him instead of going on the trip, but he didn’t think it was a good idea to fill Carol in on his plans in case she objected. “It’s not like I got much sleep last night. Had a lot on my mind.”

  “So did I,” she said, sitting down across from him. Carol sat back, staring at him as she held the mug between her hands. “Have you thought about how you want to handle this?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you want to come right out and tell him you’re his father or would you rather get to know him first? We could tell him that you’re an old friend of mine from high school and we reconnected while you were in town promoting your next album.”

  “We’ve kept this secret from him long enough, don’t you think?”

  “What secret?” Dustin stood in the doorway, looking from his mother to the stranger across from her and back again. “Answer me,” he said to his mother.

  It was like looking in a mirror for D.J. He definitely wouldn’t need to ask Carol for a D.N.A. test. There was no way this boy could be anyone else’s son.

  D.J. stood, extending his hand. “You must be Dustin. I’m D.J. Stevens.”

  He narrowed his dark eyes as recognition dawned. “Shit, you’re the country singer, aren’t you?”

  “Dustin, language,” Carol admonished.

  “I am,” D.J. said, ignoring Carol’s warning. Like his son, he’d been no stranger to profanity at that age. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Yeah, you too,” he said, shaking D.J.’s hand. “But I still don’t get why you’re here.” He glanced at the digital readout on the cell phone lying on the table. “It’s not even eight o’clock. Oh man, did you and my mom hook up last night? Is that the big secret?”

  D.J. couldn’t help but smile at his deduction. “Uh no, that’s not it. Your mama and I do go way back though. If you can spare me a few minutes I’d like to tell you about it.”

  “Oh man, I’d like to but I gotta head out,” he said, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. “We got a big football tournament in—”

  “This is important, Dustin.” It was the same tone he used when a member of h
is crew was giving him a hard time about something. It let them know there was no room for argument and he hoped his son got the same message, loud and clear.

  Dustin sat down on the sofa with a heavy sigh, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “Okay, but like I said, I only got a minute.”

  D.J. tried to rein in his frustration. He couldn’t blame the kid. When he was his age, he had little time for adults, even the ones living under his own roof. “I grew up here in Macon before I went to Nashville to pursue a music career.”

  Dustin shrugged. “So, what does that have to do with me?”

  D.J. remembered what Carol said about his insolent attitude and he was seeing evidence of it, but if he had his way, it would be nothing more than a brief phase in his son’s life. He didn’t have any experience parenting, but he did know a thing or two about commanding respect from people.

  “I’m about to tell you.” He took his cowboy hat off, giving Dustin a better look at his face. He half-expected the kid to see the same similarities he saw, but evidently, he didn’t. He watched Dustin pull his cell phone out of his pocket and begin scanning his messages. “Do you mind?” he asked, gesturing to the phone.

  Dustin sighed, staring at D.J. “Yeah, okay, I get it, buddy. You and my mom knew each other back in the day. Nice. Can I go now?”

  “I’m not your buddy,” D.J. said, through clenched teeth. Deciding the direct approach was the only way to get this kid’s attention, he said, “I’m your father.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Dustin gaped at D.J. like he’d just announced he was an alien visiting from another planet. “You’re my old man?” He looked to his mother for confirmation, his jaw dropping when she nodded. “No way. No. I don’t believe it. You’re just saying this shit so I’ll quit askin’ about the dead-beat bastard who ran out on us.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” Carol said quietly, leaning forward. “Dustin, I told you, your father and I were never married. I was a kid when I had you.”

  “Dustin,” D.J. said, softening at the look of disbelief and denial in his son’s eyes. He imagined he must have looked the same way when Carol broke the news to him. “I just found out you were my son last night. If I’d known before—”

  “You just told him about me last night?” Dustin shouted at his mother. “He didn’t know he had a son? You didn’t tell him?”

  “Honey, please try to understand,” she said, jumping to her feet when Dustin did. “I was living in Oklahoma. D.J. wasn’t a part of my life anymore. By the time we’d moved back here—”

  “I don’t wanna hear any more of your goddamn excuses!” he shouted. “You’re a lying bitch!”

  “Watch your mouth, son,” D.J. warned.

  “Don’t call me that!” Dustin shouted. “I’m not your son. You were just a sperm donor! I don’t have a father and I don’t need one! I hate both of you!” He ran out the door, slamming it so hard the pane of glass shattered.

  D.J. covered his face with his hands, thinking that couldn’t have gone much worse. He’d been a fool to think Dustin would welcome him into his life with open arms. He was a teenager with a chip on his shoulder because he’d grown up believing his father had abandoned him. Of course it would take him some time to process the truth.

  “I’m so sorry about that,” Carol said, moving to the window.

  D.J. heard the screech of tires pulling away. Dustin may not drive yet, but he evidently had older friends who did. “He just needs some time. I probably would’ve reacted the same way in his position. It’s a hell of a shock, Carol. For both of us.”

  She let the curtain fall back into place as she turned to face him. “You blame me for all of this, don’t you? You think Dustin has reason to hate me, and you do too.”

  “No, I could never hate you.” Carol would always have a soft spot in D.J.’s heart, not just because she was the mother of his child. He knew she was a good person, someone who always saw the best in people. If his travels around the world taught him one thing, it’s that people like her were rare.

  “Are you sure about that?” She sat on the edge of an ottoman, wringing her hands. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I had no idea Dustin would start pressing so hard, or that meeting his father would mean so much to him.”

  “Would you have done anything different, given the chance?” He believed he may be able to forgive and forget if she expressed remorse about keeping him in the dark. While he knew he and Carol would never be more, he wanted to believe they could be friends again, for Dustin’s sake.

  “Of course I would have.” She looked startled by the question. “I had no right to make these choices on your behalf. I get that now. You had the right to decide for yourself whether you wanted to be a dad.”

  “I appreciate you saying that.” While it didn’t change anything, it was still nice to hear.

  “Can I ask you something?” she asked, running her hands down the length of her jeans. “How would you have reacted if I told you I was pregnant back in high school?”

  D.J. remembered the story Josie had told him about her ex-husband abandoning her when he learned they were having a baby. He wanted to believe his parents had raised him to be a better man than that. “I don’t know for sure, but I do know I would have found a way to be a part of his life.”

  “Would you have wanted to be a full-time parent?” When D.J. didn’t respond, she said, “I guess I’m asking whether you would have wanted to marry me.”

  D.J. propped his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands. “Honestly, I’m still not ready to get married. So would I have been back then? No. Definitely not. That doesn’t mean my parents wouldn’t have tried to convince me it was the best thing for Dustin. Would I have caved, given in under the pressure? Maybe.”

  “So you can see why I felt I couldn’t tell you,” she said, gently. “I didn’t want you to feel trapped. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of us. When I had Dustin, I realized I was ready to be a mother. I know I was young, but I learned a lot about myself along the way.”

  “You never married?”

  “I did.” She nodded. “Harry and I divorced four years ago. That’s when I moved back to Macon. My mama was sick and I wanted to be here for her.”

  “She’s doin’ better now, I hope?”

  “I’m afraid we had to put her in a nursing home,” she said, frowning. “Dementia and Parkinson’s.”

  “She’s too damn young to be dealin’ with that,” D.J. said, thinking how unfair it was those diseases often targeted people with so much life left to live. He remembered Carol’s mom had also been a teen bride. She couldn’t have been more than fifty-five now.

  “At least Dustin got to know her before her condition deteriorated,” she said, folding her hands. “I’m grateful for that.”

  “He likes it here?”

  “He loves it,” she said, smiling. “Now that he’s growing up, he reminds me so much of you at that age, D.J.”

  “Yeah, I could definitely see the similarities.” He had mixed feelings about that. He’d always wanted children, but he assumed when that day came he would have the privilege of watching them grow up. With Dustin, it was a little like looking back in time and seeing the boy he used to be.

  “You’re still single?”

  “There’s someone special in my life,” he said, thinking about how Josie would react to the news he was someone’s dad. Assuming she was still speaking to him when he returned to Nashville.

  “Is that who you were talking to on the phone?” She lowered her head at the quizzical look in his eye. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was just in the laundry room, right outside the living room and couldn’t help but overhear. Y’all argued.”

  “Yeah, I shot my mouth off before thinkin’ about the consequences. I have a bad habit of doin’ that.”

  Her lips twitched. “I remember.” They shared a smile before she said, “You didn’t tell her about Dustin. Why?”

  “Didn’
t seem the kind of thing I should tell her over the phone. I thought we should be face-to-face to have that conversation.”

  “Is it serious?”

  “I sure would like it to be, but we’re still feelin’ our way.”

  “And this is going to throw a serious wrench in your plans.” She sighed. “How do you think she’ll react to the news?”

  “Honestly? I don’t know.” He was afraid to tell her, which gave him some idea of how much courage it took for Carol to be honest with him last night. “I want to believe she’ll stand by me because she loves me.”

  “And you love her?”

  “Yeah, I do.” That was just about the only thing D.J. was still sure about. He didn’t want to lose Josie over this. “I can really see a future with her, Carol. I mean, I don’t see us takin’ a walk down the aisle anytime soon. She’s been there and isn’t anxious to do it again, but she’s the only woman who’s made me think about settlin’ down.”

  “It may take her some time to get used to the idea that you have a teenage son now. You’ll have to be patient with her. Give her all the time she needs to adjust, and don’t be surprised if she needs to take a little break from you to process all this.”

  He didn’t want to take a break from her. He needed her to help him figure this thing out. “I guess there’s no reason for me to stick around now that Dustin’s not here.”

  “Then you’re leaving?”

  “I think that would be for the best,” he said, placing his hat back on his head. “We all need a little time to figure out where we go from here.” He pulled a card out of his pocket, asking her, “Do you have a pen?”

  “Sure.” She reached into a drawer in the end table and handed him a pen. “Here you go.”

  He noted the name of a hotel printed on the pen. “I don’t remember that bein’ here when I lived here. Is it nice?” He suspected he’d need to find semi-permanent accommodations in Georgia. It’s not like he could expect his son to skip school to spend time with him in Nashville.

  “I think so, but I have to say that.” She smiled. “I manage the place.”