by Lily Wallis
“I’m going to ask you three questions, and I want you to be honest. Can you do that?”
“Oh boy,” he says, leaned against the wooden fence. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”
“I don’t know,” I reply.
“All right, go ahead,” he says, surprising me completely. “Question one?”
“When I was in the cellar,” I start. “When I first got here. Did your mother cause me or others physical harm?”
“Yes,” he exhales, and it looks as though the answer troubles him. “What’s the next question?”
“Was Caroline’s hand cut off?”
“Damn,” he says, turning around to face the horses. “It was.”
“I knew it,” I say. “Why did she lie?”
“The same reason we all do. To stay in the King’s good graces.”
“She almost died, and now she acts like everything is so normal.”
“She was near death. She pleaded for her life and Malvado knew she could be useful in the future.”
“Just like that? That’s why she got to live?”
“Yes, well, and with the understanding that she is to never fall out of line again. Believe me, being near death…you’ll sell your soul to the devil.”
“I feel that I already have.”
“I think we all have,” Theroux agrees.
“I just can’t see Malvado doing that. Overall, he’s been kind, gentle, and loving.”
“Of course. You are his companion, that’s why. What is number three?”
“Huh?” I ask.
“You said you had three questions,” he replies, and it is one I need to know the answer to, yet, am afraid of what I may hear.
“Ok,” I say taking a deep breath. “There is a room next to mine. At night I’m awoken by horrible screams, all women. I’ve heard the voice of a man, though I don’t know who it is. Do you know?”
“Yes,” Theroux replies.
“Who?”
“Malvado.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Good evening, ma chérie,” Malvado says as he walks into my room.
Looking at the man I have come to love pains me. Knowing it is him on the other side of this wall doing unspeakable things…I can’t even find the words to describe the disgust I am feeling.
“Good evening,” I reply, holding a book in my hands.
“Ah,” he smiles as he sits down beside me. “You’ve chosen a book for me to read to you.”
“I was just flipping through the pages,” I say, placing it on my lap.
“I have missed you,” he says as his hand finds my neck. “Very much, my love.”
I stay quiet, and just smile instead. A part of me still doesn’t want to believe that he is capable of such torment, but I can’t imagine Theroux making it up. When I first got here, it seemed I was stuck in a puzzle with the pieces disappearing. Now, it seems that they are starting to resurface, and the picture is becoming clearer. Maybe I should ask Malvado myself since I’ve seen nothing but kindness from him. Maybe carrying his heir gives me some kind of leverage.
“I have something that is bothering me,” I say, and his eyes are full of concern.
“What is it, ma chérie?”
“Why are you hurting those women?”
“Pardon?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.
“All of the screams at night, what is happening?”
“That does not concern you,” he says, looking straight ahead.
“I am ripped out of my sleep every single night. Who are they? What is going on in there?”
“They are my concubines,” he replies, looking at me with cold eyes.
“Concubines? As in mistresses?”
“Yes,” he replies as if it were the norm.
“Why? Why would you have mistresses?”
“In your condition, I can’t satisfy my urges. It could be dangerous and not a risk that is acceptable to take.”
“So, you sleep with other women right next door to me,” I say, sitting back on the sofa.
“It is not the same, Violet. It is only to satisfy a need, that is all. There is no love,” he explains, grabbing my hand. “No love at all. What goes on in that room is not comparable to what we share.”
My head begins to spin. Why am I even having a discussion with this man? I just found out that just about everyone has been lying to me, and here I am having a fit about Malvado sleeping with other women. I don’t know what to think anymore.
“Why are they screaming?” I ask. “Those aren’t cries of pleasure.”
“I am not there to pleasure them. They are there to please me, to please their King,” he says, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. “As are you, Violet.”
“I don’t like this,” I say looking him dead in the eye, and with that he leans in close to kiss my lips.
“If you are agreeable or not isn’t any concern of mine,” he says, kissing my lips once more. “My love, obedience suits you well. Don’t think too much, otherwise we have methods to calm your nerves.”
With my mouth agape, he takes the book from my lap and begins to read. This is a different side to Malvado, one I have never seen before. I am left shocked, feeling even more alone that before. It was all a show, his kindness, his feelings…everything. It was just to get what he wanted, and now I am stuck in the middle of it, with no way out. When I have this child, I can’t very well pack us up and leave. I’ve seen the magic; I’ve seen what he is capable of.
“Let’s get you into bed, ma chérie. It is much more comfortable,” he smiles, getting up from the sofa and reaching his hand towards me. “I will put you to sleep just as I do every night.”
***
Days pass and the screams continue. The other night I couldn’t get back to sleep so I stepped out of my room and began walking down the hall, passing Lazare and Thibodeux on the way. When I got to the end of the hallway, I sat at a window and looked outside. Suddenly, the door opened and my glance went in that direction. A nude woman was lying on the ground, blood covering her arms. Her screams turned to sobs, and within seconds, I heard Malvado’s voice from inside, telling the men to kill her. My body immediately began to shake, but I sat there completely quiet, hoping that Malvado wouldn’t come out of the room, and luckily, he didn’t. Once Lazare and Thibodeux dragged the woman down the stairs, I rushed back to my room, my heart pounding in fear. What I saw still weighs on me, and even though I try to pull myself together while I’m in Malvado’s presence, I feel that he smells the fear I give off.
“Are you ok?” Theroux asks, sitting on a bench next to me.
“I saw what goes on next to my room,” I say. “He used her, and then wanted her killed.”
“Damn,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah, that’s the only thing I can really say.”
“A little less than a week ago I approached him about the whole thing.”
“You didn’t,” he says, looking at me in a shocked expression.
“I did.”
“What did he say?”
“He pretty much told me to shut up and get in line.”
“You are safe,” Theroux says, pointing to my stomach. “He won’t do anything to jeopardize that.”
“How many were there before me?”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“How many ma chérie’s did he have? How many have been in my position?”
“Several,” he replies.
“What happened to them?” I ask, knowing there aren’t any children around.
“They never conceived, so they were either put to death or assigned other duties.”
“Did they all look like me?”
“No, none. You resemble Maman Brigitte, that’s why Malvado was hell bent on having you. Now that you are carrying his child, it’s confirmed that you are the one in his eyes.”
“In his eyes?” I ask. “You don’t believe it, do you?”
“I don’t know,” he replies. “Wh
at I believe doesn’t matter though.”
“I care,” I say, placing my hand on his arm.
“You really want to know?” he asks, his eyes making me feel that there are no others around us.
“Yes,” I reply, removing my hand.
“I can’t believe that you are the one,” he pauses.
“Why?”
“Because you are the one that I want.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
I hated Theroux. Hated him with a passion. If it weren’t for him…well, I suppose it would have been someone else that would have lured me. It’s like that Voodoo Queen predicted, a new beginning. Had I known just what this beginning would entail, I would have taken the next flight home that night. Now I sit here, pregnant, and stuck. Lately, Theroux is the only one that can put a smile on my face, and as ridiculous as it sounds, I feel as if he is my safe haven. Our walks let me escape for a short time, and sometimes I find myself daydreaming about him when I’m all alone. Immediately, I scold myself for these thoughts, blaming it on the hormonal changes my body is going through.
“My darling,” Malvado says as he enters my room.
“Malvado,” I say, trying to fake a smile.
“Lazare said that you were in the hallway last night,” he begins. “I must apologize for what you saw.”
“Oh,” I reply.
“That woman was the devil. She tried to kill me.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologize, since I don’t know what else to say.
“It may be best that you don’t roam the hall’s at night,” he explains. “If for some reason she would have escaped…I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I understand,” I say. “It won’t happen again.”
“Very good,” he says, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “You are learning, my dear. Soon, the two of us will become one again.”
Had I heard these words before, I would have looked at him with love in my eyes. Now I don’t want him near me. I don’t want him to touch me, and don’t ever want to be intimate with him again. Unfortunately, I won’t have a say. I’m here for a purpose, and if I don’t want to end up like that poor woman last night, I better play by the rules. Maybe death wouldn’t be so bad, it would all be over then. I have never had suicidal thoughts before, even as screwed up as my life has been.
“Ma chérie. The physician has told me that your sickness has passed,” he smiles. “That makes me happy.”
“Yes, it has.”
“I will be leaving the plantation for business tomorrow morning and will return the next day. It makes me feel much better that you will be comfortable.”
Placing his hand on my stomach, I flinch, but I don’t think he noticed it. Moving his hand up and down, he begins to chant something in French, before looking up at me.
“I love you, Violet,” he confesses, and I am disgusted.
“I love you, too,” I say, even though the words feel like poison on my tongue.
“Oh, how I wish I could have you. You have no idea how much I desire to consume your body, to make it mine again. Every inch of you,” he grins, unzipping his pants. “Even though I must wait, your mouth can give me the pleasure I seek.”
I don’t say a word, what the hell could I say? Can I get out of this? As my thoughts run rapid through my mind, he places his hand on the back of my head, slowly bringing it down. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, and endure.
***
I sit at my window and watch as Malvado rides away, along with several others. I have no idea where he is going, and I could care less. It felt so degrading having to pleasure him in that way, but I did as I was told. Malvado is the definition of evil, and I hate myself for ever having thought I loved this man…this monster. Maybe it was survival, but if this is surviving, I’m not sure I want to live. Getting up from my seat, my hand finds my lower back, trying to soothe a sharp pain. After Malvado left last night, I started getting stomach cramps and attributed them to what he made me do. I was fine when I woke this morning, except for the backpain.
“Good morning, my sweet,” Elodie smiles as she walks in to the room. “Are you ready for breakfast?”
After arriving in the dining room, I am joined by several others as usual. As I pick up my fork, my stomach begins to feel as if it is in knots, and I drop the fork, hunched over just a bit.
“Violet, dear,” Madame Benoit says. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” I say, as I continue to cramp, closing my eyes.
Taking a few deep breaths, I now have a group of people around me, their faces riddled with concern. Taking a few deep breaths, the pain radiates to my back, and I let out a painful moan. With my head on the table, I feel someone rub my back, but it does nothing to alleviate the pain. A few minutes later, I hear Theroux’s voice.
“Let me through,” he says. “Violet, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” I say, with my head still on the table.
“Get the King!” a woman cries.
“If he’s gone past the border, we can’t,” a man replies. “Send someone out to check.”
“Let’s get her back up to bed,” Madame Benoit suggests, and the thought of standing is one I don’t welcome at this moment.
Before I can protest, I feel someone pick me up, and as my hands find a grip, I realize that I am in Theroux’s arms. With my arms around his neck, I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.
“You’ll be all right,” he says as he carries me out of the dining room.
“I don’t know, Theroux,” I whisper, pain shooting through me.
Arriving back at my room, Elodie is surprised to see me and immediately turns out the bed. As Theroux puts me down, another cramp shoots through me, and I begin to scream. Moments later I hear someone say that they cannot reach Malvado, and the sound of disbelief and worry rings through the room.
“All right,” Madame Benoit begins. “Everyone out, now! Someone fetch the physician.”
Kneeling next to my bed, she holds my hand, and this is the first time I don’t mind being near her. Elodie places a wet rag on my forehead as I squeeze Madame Benoit’s hand.
“Dear girl, positive thoughts,” she says. “You can’t lose this child.”
“What do you mean? What’s going on?”
She continues to talk, telling me to relax and calm. About thirty minutes later, the pain has reached a peak, and I feel as if I want to die. Madame Benoit lifts the covers and shock is written all over her face.
“Where is the God damn physician?” she screams.
Minutes later, he comes running into the room, asking what is happening. Suddenly, Madame Benoit switches to French, and by the look on the physician’s face, he looks worried. Moving the covers away completely, Elodie and Madame Benoit lift my dress and remove my bloomers. As they slide down my legs, a wetness coats them and as I try to sit up a little, I see my bloomers covered in blood.
“Oh my God, what is happening?” I ask, completely terrified.
“Can you save the baby?” Madame Benoit asks the physician who is attempting to clean me with a towel.
“I’m not sure,” he says as I feel him examine me. “Malvado can, where is he?”
“Beyond the border.”
“Argh,” I say, feeling another cramp, gripping the sheets.
“Oh dear,” he says under his breath, and Madame Benoit comes over to him.
“No!” she says, her hand covering her mouth in disbelief.
“What?” I ask. “What’s going on?”
“What will we do?” Elodie asks.
“What is it?” I say again, as I watch a small towel being handed to Madame Benoit.
“Violet,” she says, looking at something on the towel. “I’m afraid you’ve lost the child.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
The room has become eerily quiet, and I am still trying to grasp what just happened. I’m still having pains, though they are not as strong. Madame Benoit kneels down beside me again, r
eaching for my hand. She closes her eyes, and bows her head, speaking in French. When she finishes, she gets up and walks away.
“Madame Benoit,” I say, and she keeps walking. “What did you say?”
“She prayed for you,” I hear Theroux’s voice from the other side of the room.
“What?” I say, as he walks toward me.
Sitting down beside me, he takes my hand in his, looking into my eyes. His eyes have become glassy, and a tear runs down his face.
“I will do all I can to protect you, Violet,” he says, kissing the top of my hand before disappearing from my sight.
Protect me? What is he talking about? And why did his mother pray for me? Then suddenly, it hits me. I lost the heir, the very reason I was put into this position. What will Malvado say when he returns and learns that I lost everything he wanted. Fear begins to consume me, and I can feel myself hyperventilate.
“My dear,” Elodie says. “Breathe. “
“He’s going to kill me, isn’t he?” I ask, tears running down my face.
“I do not know,” she replies, and I believe this is the first moment of honesty shared between us.
Earlier today I thought about death, and that maybe it was the answer. Now, that it is a possibility, I want nothing to do with it. There is nothing I can do to make it better, nothing at all. I can’t go back in time; I can’t impregnate myself again. Maybe he will give me another chance. I am the only one who has ever conceived, maybe that will be my saving grace.
The rest of the day passes, though I know I won’t find sleep tonight. Malvado will be back in the morning, and that is when I will await my fate. All of a sudden, there is a soft knock at my door, and as it creeps open, my eyes fixate on it.
“Violet,” Theroux says, entering my room and slowly closing the door behind him.
“Theroux!” I say, slowly getting up.
“No, don’t get up,” he says, coming toward me. “How do you feel?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “The pain has gotten better but I’m afraid, Theroux. He’s going to kill me, isn’t he?”
“Nothing like this has ever happened,” he says. “I don’t know. As I said, I will do whatever I can.”
