by Lily Wallis
“Vaguely.”
“That stuff doesn’t just put you out, it also makes you hallucinate.”
“And that stuff your mother made me drink?”
“It’s to keep you calm,” he says. “Given the situation, most people are frightened, as they should be. The side effect is that it also causes hallucination in some.”
“So, I made it all up?” I ask, looking him dead in the eye.
“I’m afraid so,” he says. “Let’s get you back so you can lie down a bit.”
Chapter Eighteen
I wake up the next day, and immediately feel sick again. This was the first night I spent on my own since Malvado had business to attend to. It was a very lonely night. In a short time, I have become so used to having him next to me, that it feels like a void. Getting out of bed, I walk over to the porcelain basin on the table, and before I can grab the towel, I vomit yet again.
“Good morning, Mademoiselle,” a cheery Elodie says as she walks into the room. “Oh, my dear.”
“I think it’s from the tea I had yesterday,” I say.
“I will inform the King and see if his physician can take a look at you,” Elodie explains, walking me back over to the bed. “I will get you some water to drink.”
As I wait for her to return, Malvado steps through the secret doorway, and I was never happier to see him. Rushing over to me, he kneels next to my bedside, grabbing my hand.
“Ma chérie. I’ve heard you are ill,” he says, kissing the top of my hand.
“I saw Caroline yesterday and had tea. I think it didn’t sit well. Elodie said she was going to ask you to send a doctor, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you will be fine as well, but I would rather have him take a look at you,” he says. “Ma chérie, you are my life.”
“You are so sweet,” I say, giving him a little smile, before the same nauseas feeling hits me yet again.
The doctor arrives twenty minutes later, and Elodie is the only one to stay in the room with me. He starts his exam by asking my symptoms, listening to my heart, and checking my throat and ears.
“All right, everything looks fine,” he says, checking my lymph nodes.
“I’m sure it was the tea.”
“Hmm,” he says, looking at my face through thick glasses. “When was your last period?”
“Umm,” I say, trying to think. “I have no idea. I don’t even know how long I’ve been here.”
“Have you had one since you’ve been here?”
“No,” I say.
“I see,” he says, taking gloves out of this bag. “I’d like to perform a pelvic exam to rule out pregnancy.”
“What?” I say, completely shocked.
“Your symptoms coincide with pregnancy, and with you not having had a period since arriving here, it is very possible.”
“How long have I been here?” I ask, not wanting to know the answer.
“About five months,” he says, and my eyes widen. “Elodie, if you could please help Violet remove any clothing from the waist down and have her lie back it would be a great help.”
Lying back with my legs elevated, I can’t believe what is happening. I have been here for five months? How can this be? Pregnant? No! Taking a deep breath while being examined, I realize it could very well be the case. Malvado and I never used any kind of protection at all. It never even crossed my mind until this very moment. Closing my eyes, I pray that it is food poisoning, and nothing more. Within minutes, the exam is over, and the doctor removes his gloves.
“It is confirmed. You are expecting.”
Those six words stop me in my tracks, and everything else he says sounds muffled. The room begins to spin, and his voice becomes more distant. I see Elodie waving her hand in front of my face, and that is when I snap out of it.
“Violet. Did you hear what I’ve said?” the doctor asks.
“Yes,” I reply, as I begin to sit up. “Yes, I did.”
“Excellent. I will inform the King. In the meantime, Elodie will see after you.”
With that sentence, he packs his bag and walks out of the room. For a moment, there is complete silence. I watch as Elodie pours a glass of water from a pitcher. Handing it over, she gives me a big smile.
“This is wonderful news, Violet.”
“Is it?” I say. “I’m terrified.”
“Bringing a new life into the world is always something wonderful. Especially it being the King’s,” she explains, handing me the glass.
“I,” I begin. “I don’t know if it’s wonderful. Elodie, I’m only twenty-four years old. I never even thought about children.”
“Things happen for a reason, they always do.”
“I’ve been here for five months? It seems like weeks.”
“Time is not of importance, Violet. Not here.”
“Right,” I say, not knowing how else to respond.
While taking a sip of my water, the door pushes open and I see Malvado standing in the doorway, his eyes brighter than ever.
“You are the one!” he says, coming toward me.
Standing beside my bed, he places his hand on my belly, moving it in circles. His eyes stay fixated on the movement of his hand, and right when I am about to speak, he looks up at me.
“Our future.”
Chapter Nineteen
It has been five days since finding out the news, and something feels off. I have been staying in my room instead of Malvado’s, and he never stays the night anymore. He stays with me until I am asleep, but disappears after. I try to tell myself that he is busy dealing with matters that don’t concern me, but it has never happened before. Sitting outside on the bench, I stare at the people passing by on a walkway, lost in my thoughts.
“Is there anything I can get you, my dear?” Madame Benoit asks.
“No,” I say, still staring.
“Is anything troubling you?” she asks, and I think for a moment.
“Why do I no longer sleep in Malvado’s room?”
“Well, you are with child. The King wants you to be very comfortable.”
“I’m comfortable with him,” I say.
“And that is why he stays with you until you’ve fallen asleep.”
“It wasn’t like this before.”
“Violet, you carry the King’s child. Every precaution must be taken that you will deliver a healthy heir.”
“Will we ever room together again?” I ask.
“In time,” she responds. “Once the child is born and you are able to reproduce again.”
That last sentence stops me in my tracks. When I am able to reproduce again? What am I, breeding stock? Giving Madame Benoit a nod and smile, my glance goes back to the people in front of me. Is this why I am here? Was this their plan all along? As my wheels continue to turn, I scold myself for being so stupid. I was so naïve, so trusting. I thought I found something, someone that I loved. Knowing that I am only being used for one purpose makes me feel…disgusted.
“Good afternoon, my love,” I hear Malvado’s voice in front of me.
“Your highness,” Madame Benoit says, quickly getting up and curtsying.
“Malvado,” I say.
“How do you feel,” he asks, taking a seat next to me.
“Fine,” I lie.
“You don’t look fine,” he says, grabbing my hand. “Why so gloomy?”
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“Would you like to take a walk?” he offers, and I nod.
For the first few minutes, we walk in silence. I want to let out all of my frustrations, scream at him, tell him how I really feel, but something keeps me from doing so. As he continues to hold my hand, it begins to warm my heart.
“I did not know that you could look so beautiful, but every single day your beauty multiplies. You are everything I could ever ask for, and more than I ever deserved.”
“I miss you,” I admit.
“I’m here, Violet. I’m right here.”
“Why do I sleep o
n my own now?” I ask, hoping for…I have no idea what I’m hoping for.
“It is so I don’t get tempted.”
“Tempted? What are you talking about?”
“Yes. Tempted. While you are carrying our child, nothing can happen to you. I must protect the both of you at all costs,” he explains. “Violet, you do things to me that awaken the lust in my soul. Just one look, one touch, and I want to devour your body.”
“There is nothing wrong with that,” I say.
“No, I can’t.”
“I guess I’m not understanding. I may be young, but I know it’s perfectly fine for us to have sex while I’m pregnant.”
“I have to abstain, and you must understand this,” he says in a dominant tone. “Once our child is born, you will become my queen, and then we will lie together again. Do you understand.”
“Yes,” I say, feeling defeat.
***
Suddenly I am awoken by a bloodcurdling scream, and I sit up in my bed. Where is this coming from? Getting up, I walk toward my door, opening it. Again, another scream and I turn to the left, seeing Lazare and Thibodeux standing in front of a closed door. Walking toward them, I stop, and they greet me.
“What is going on?” I ask.
“Excuse me, Mademoiselle?” Lazare counters.
“Why are there screams coming from inside of that room?”
“It’s a personal matter,” Thibodeux replies.
“Who is in there?” I ask, and they stay silent. “Who is in there?”
“Oh, Violet. Did you have a bad dream?” Elodie asks, coming toward me.
“No, I was awoken by these screams. What is going on?”
“Come my dear, let me take you back to your room.”
Looking at Lazare and Thibodeux, they remain expressionless and silent. Walking back to my room, I sit down on my bed as Elodie gets me a glass of water.
“Here you are, my dear.”
“I’m not thirsty,” I say. “Who’s in there?”
“I don’t know,” she says, setting the glass on my nightstand. “It isn’t my business.”
Aggravated, I get back into bed. Did I really think I would get anything out of these people? The screams stop after ten more minutes, and Elodie stays in my room until I fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty
These screams. They are occurring just about every single night. I’ve continued to quiz Elodie, but she won’t say a word. All I know is that the screams are coming from women, women that sound terrified for the most part. What is happening just a door down from me? The days of the cellar come back to my head, but I’m not even sure if it really happened. Maybe these screams aren’t really happening either. Since finding out I was pregnant, I’ve been forced to drink this green colored concoction three times a day. I’m told it is necessary for the baby, but for all I know, they could be giving me more of some kind of a sedative. Lying in bed wide awake, the screams begin. Placing the pillow over my head, I close my eyes and try to tune it out, but it’s hopeless. Completely annoyed, I get out of bed with the intention of seeing what is going on behind that door. Before I grab the handle of my door, I stop. Walking to the left side of my room, I place my ear to the wall, and that is when real horror hits me. Not only do I hear the pleas of a woman, but Malvado as well. Everything inside of me is telling me it can’t be him. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on the male voice, and what this voice is saying.
“You are here for my pleasure, do you understand? The louder you scream, the more it arouses me. You will serve your King.”
Covering my mouth to conceal a loud gasp, I step away from the wall. No, it can’t be. That is not the Malvado I’ve come to know and love. No, this has to be a nightmare. This is not him.
The next day I wake, and immediately my thoughts take me to what I heard during the night. Sitting up in bed, my door opens and Malvado comes walking in with my morning drink in hand.
“Good morning, ma chérie. Did you sleep well?” he asks, coming closer.
I don’t say a word, and I can’t even look at him. He says my name again, and I close my eyes. I hear him set the glass on my nightstand and feel his hand on my arm. It is in that moment I have to pull myself together.
“Violet,” he says.
“Good morning. I’m sorry, I didn’t sleep well last night,” I say.
“I’m sorry to hear,” he replies. “You need your rest.”
Giving him a smile, he takes the glass off the table, handing it to me. As I begin to drink it, he sits on my bed, telling me about his plans for the day. Watching his every move, I try to piece together what I’ve heard last night and the gentle man sitting in front of me. No, it couldn’t have been him. You are here for my pleasure, do you understand? The louder you scream, the more it arouses me. You will serve your King. Those are the exact words I heard, and my gut told me it was Malvado, but the more I dissect the sentence, it could have been anyone. You will serve your King, as much as I don’t want to think about it, it could have just been someone that wasn’t following the rules. The male voice on the other side of the wall could have been one of Malvado’s advisors.
***
Time goes by, and I’m happy that the nausea is starting to subside. The doctor comes to check on me weekly and has estimated that I’m somewhere around twelve weeks. I don’t feel any different, and haven’t seen any significant changes in my body. It is still difficult to grasp that I have a life growing inside of me. Will it be a he or a she? What will it look like? Will I be able to do this? I’ve seen less of Malvado, but he still sits with me every single night. This great love affair I dreamed up in my head no longer seems to exist, and it saddens me. Maybe it’s the hormones. Even if I don’t see the changes in my body, they still exist.
While out on my daily walk, I suddenly feel a hand around my wrist, yanking me back.
“Careful, Violet,” Theroux says, and it is then that I realize I’ve come close to the perimeter.
The whispers are so loud, and my jewel is glowing deep purple. My heart begins to beat rapidly, and my hand covers it. Looking at Theroux, he releases my wrist.
“Thank you,” I say.
“They want you even more now,” he responds. “Now that you carry the heir.”
“At least someone does,” I mumble.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” I say. “I can’t talk to anyone and get a straight-forward answer anyway, so I won’t waste my breath.”
We continue to walk for quite some time, and silence remains except for the obligatory greetings from the occasional passersby. As we get to the stables, I lean on the fence, watching the two horses being fed.
“She is carrying a foal,” Theroux says, pointing to the black horse.
“Ironic,” I say.
“You know you can talk to me, Violet. What plagues you?”
“I can’t trust anyone. Especially not you.”
“Why?” he asks as if it isn’t obvious.
“You deceived me once, I won’t make that mistake again.”
“It may have been a deception, but not one that originated with me. Though I will admit, the moment I saw you, I knew I wanted you here.”
Stunned, I turn his way, and he continues.
“The chosen ones. You’ve heard it before, correct?”
“Yes,” I say.
“You were chosen, and I was given my order. Even though I knew better, I guess deep down I hoped you would just have a common role here.”
“A common role?”
“Yes, a common roll. Not royalty.”
“Why?”
“Because I like you,” he replies, looking me in the eye.
Chapter Twenty-One
Theroux’s confession left me…perplexed. Was he genuine or was this just something to say to gain my trust? Sitting at dinner, my glance meets Theroux’s several times, and though I’m trying to figure out if he is trustworthy, I quickly realize that my answer won’t come in the form of eye conta
ct.
“Ma chérie, you’ve been very quiet,” Malvado says, grabbing my hand. “You’ve barely touched your food.”
“I was just lost in thought,” I reply, picking up my fork. “Did you have a good day?”
“No. Though it has much improved now that I’m with you.”
Kissing the top of my hand, he releases it and we continue our meal. In these moments, my connection with Malvado blooms like a rose. Unfortunately, the blooming flower begins to wilt as soon as Malvado leaves me, and I’m left on my own. I don’t count Elodie or Madame Benoit as true companions, they work for the King. Actually, everyone does, but even if it sounds insane, I believe Theroux could be different. Even if he is, where does that leave me? Nothing changes…or does it? It’s possible I could be less on edge with him. When it comes to the others, I have to hold back, knowing I won’t get any answers, knowing they will cover everything up. I need to know if I can trust him. God, these hormones, what am I thinking?
***
“Please, please! I beg you, just let me go.”
“Take off the dress before I rip it off you.”
“Please, don’t hurt me!”
“If you do as you are told, it won’t hurt…too much.”
Then, the screams begin. I can’t even imagine what could be going on. In a way I’ve become desensitized over time. I don’t know who is on the other side and it seems I will never know…or will I?
After waking up the next day, I decide to take my walk immediately after breakfast, asking for Theroux to accompany me. Madame Benoit didn’t seem too thrilled about it and I can’t blame her. In the past I wouldn’t say a word to her son, much less was open to have him anywhere near me unless it was the only option.
“Early today,” Theroux smiles as we head in the direction of the stable.
“Yes,” I reply.
When we reach the fence where the horses are kept, I stop and scan the area to see who is lurking around. Once I make sure that Elodie, Madame Benoit, Lazare, and Thibodeux are nowhere near, I turn to Theroux.
“You say I can trust you.”
“Of course,” he replies, his eyes fixated on me.
