One Texas Cowboy Too Many (Burnt Boot, Texas)

by Carolyn Brown

  “I guess it’s a go, then?” Eli asked.

  “Did you poke that dynamite down in the hole like I told you?” Hart asked.

  “I did. You run the wire to the truck, Randy?”

  “I did, but Hart has to hook it up to the battery. Ain’t no way I’m touching that shit. It scares me worse than rattlesnakes. I’ll be sittin’ inside the truck. Soon as it blows, we’ll back out of the shed and be halfway to Dallas by the time Orville gets here,” Randy answered.

  “Y’all get on in the truck. Granny is a genius. Blow up their septic tank and there won’t be no school here next month either. It’ll take weeks for them to clean up the mess and decide what to do. If they can set fire to our school, we can blow up their shit,” Hart laughed.

  “Wait!” Randy yelled from the truck bed. “I’m back here shutting the toolbox, and there’s no dynamite left.”

  The smile left Hart’s face. “What did you say?”

  “I said there was five sticks and now it’s all gone. That shit is hard to get.”

  “Eli, how many sticks were left when you shoved one down the cistern opening?” Hart asked.

  “None. I used all five of them,” Eli said. “I figured as thick as that concrete is down there, it might take more than one to blow it up good enough they couldn’t use it no more.”

  “Holy shit!” Hart said.

  “Nope, just plain shit.”

  “One would have done the job,” Hart said.

  “Then five will be fantastic.” Eli grinned. “Blow the damn thing and let’s go home.”

  * * *

  Rhett turned off the main road onto River Bend land at a few minutes before midnight. Leah’s shoulder and hip were scrunched against his and she was as stiff as a board. Hopefully, it was because Betsy Gallagher’s was smashed against her other side. He wondered if a member of each of the feuding families had ever been that close to each other without involving hair pulling or fists.

  The same moon he and Leah had talked about the night before still hung in the sky, throwing off enough light to silhouette the playground equipment in the school yard. The movement of the swings powered by the night breeze made it look like the children of the past had come to play after the sun had gone down.

  “Never been on River Bend property before. Is that the school over there?” Rhett asked.

  “Yes, it is. Started off as a two-room school and then the Brennans built onto it,” Leah answered.

  “Wouldn’t be more than half a mile as the crow flies to Fiddle Creek, then, would it?”

  Leah shook her head. “It was built on the original ranch. We grew to the west as the family expanded.”

  “And we grew that much to the east,” Betsy said.

  “So Fiddle Creek is the only thing separating y’all? I can’t for the life of me see why either of you would want it, then. If either of you got control of it, that would mean you’d butt right up to each other. You can’t get along with land separating you now. You should be giving Gladys and Jill protection money to never sell that land, so there will always be space between you,” Rhett said.

  Suddenly, the ground rumbled and the truck shook. Rhett held on to the steering wheel and jammed his foot against the brake, throwing gravel and dust every which way. He’d never heard of an earthquake hitting in northern Texas, but they were sure enough experiencing one right then.

  “Sweet Jesus, I promise I won’t ever step foot on River Bend again,” Betsy squealed.

  It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it seemed like eternity. Rhett got control of the truck, stopped it right in the middle of the road beside the school, and threw his arm around Leah, drawing her closer to his side as the truck rocked from side to side.

  Then a shaft of black shot up from the ground and Rhett’s first impression was that the Brennans had been drilling for oil and had hit an old-time gusher. It went straight up in the sky, past the top of the school and the huge old oak trees surrounding it, before it mushroomed and started back down.

  All the windows in the school exploded outward and debris flew through the air as the black cloud fell to earth. Betsy screamed and covered her head when something bounced off the truck’s hood. Then something else hit a truck tire and the explosion sounded like a shotgun blast at close range. In no time, the truck was sitting at an angle, sliding all three of them against the driver’s side and plastering Leah even tighter against Rhett.

  Then another heavy object landed in the truck bed, raising the front end up until the passengers were practically looking at the ceiling before it finally popped back down. It slowly settled back down and what was in the mushroom cloud started raining down on the truck.

  Rhett took a deep breath then grabbed his nose. “That’s not oil.”

  “Hell, no, that’s shit!” Betsy screamed.

  Leah gasped. “I thought it was a tornado.”

  Rhett saw a couple of headlights through the fog of the stuff falling all around them as it blew in the same breeze that made the swings move. He squinted to see if it was help or the culprits, but then they were gone. He took out his cell phone and punched in the number to the bunkhouse, but nothing happened. When he looked down, his phone was registering no service.

  “Looks like we’re stuck, ladies,” he said.

  “Granny is going to kill me,” Betsy said.

  “If my Granny don’t get to you first,” Leah told her. “Y’all Gallaghers just blew up our school.”

  “Not the school, the septic tank. That is not mud covering my truck,” Rhett said.

  They sat there in stunned silence, their noses twitching and eyes so wide that the whites showed all around the edges. Rhett turned on the windshield wipers and hit the button for water to wash the crap away. Long before he had a clean glass, the reservoir ran out of water.

  Leah moaned when she saw what was left of the school. It had no windows, no doors, and what had been painted white was now dripping with brown liquid. The walls still stood upright but the roof had big holes in it. A toilet sat upright on the roof, and one had landed upside down on the lawn.

  “Were there only four toilets?” Betsy asked.

  “I can’t remember,” Leah answered.

  “Lord help us all. They’ll dub this one the shit war,” Betsy said.

  “And it’s your fault, like the pig war was your fault,” Leah said.

  “You started it when you burned down our school.”

  “It might be covered in crap, but this truck is still neutral. What y’all should be worried about is how in the hell we’re getting out of here. We’ve got a flat tire and a toilet blocking our way if we could go forward. Plus, there’s another one in the bed of the truck that could possibly have knocked a hole through the metal and damaged everything underneath it, in which case, even if the tire wasn’t blown, we can’t go backwards,” Rhett said.

  Betsy threw the back of her hand onto her forehead. “We couldn’t drive in this slime even with four wheels that worked perfectly. I’m a dead woman.”

  “You got any cell service, Leah?” Rhett asked.

  She shook her head. “If I had power left in my phone, I would have loaned it to Betsy back at the bar, so I wouldn’t have had to ride with her.”

  Betsy whipped around as much as she could and glared at Rhett. “Why didn’t you think of that?”

  “Because I was tired and trying to get Leah’s truck started. This is not my fault, ladies,” he protested.

  A truck drove up beside them and honked. Betsy rolled the window down and Declan yelled across the distance, “What the hell happened? We heard a… Good Lord, what are you doing here? I thought the smell was from all this crap and now I find out it’s from a Gallagher.”

  Betsy shot him a dirty look. “I was sitting beside your sister when this happened, so don’t go blaming it on me.”

  Declan’s phone rang and he hit a button. “Granny, the Gallaghers have blown up our school. Looks like they did it through the old cistern we use as a septic
tank. Everything is dripping with crap. Stay in the house. The breeze is coming from the north tonight, and you do not want to smell this. We should have posted guards.” There was a long pause as he kept nodding. “Leah is sitting in Rhett O’Donnell’s truck with him on one side and Betsy Gallagher on the other side, so I don’t think it was Rhett that did it.”

  “Give me that phone,” Leah said tersely as she carefully reached through the window to take it from Declan’s outstretched hand.

  “You drop it. You retrieve it,” he said.

  She hung on like a bulldog with a ham bone. “Granny, my truck battery went dead at the bar and Betsy had a flat tire and no spare, so Rhett was taking both of us home when all this rained down on us. His truck is ruined.” There was another long pause, and then she said, “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

  “So?” Betsy asked.

  “Declan, you are supposed to take Betsy to the back side of our property and turn her loose. You can let her use your phone if you want to, so she can call for someone to come get her, or she can follow the river until she’s past Fiddle Creek and to Wild Horse. Rhett, you are to sit right here with me until more help comes,” Leah said. “Granny says we’re not even calling the sheriff because the damn Gallaghers own him. She wants you to deliver a message, Betsy. You are to tell Naomi that hell is going to rain down on the Gallagher family.”

  “Hell won’t be as bad as what’s just rained down on y’all,” Betsy said, smarting off at her.

  “Then you’re admitting that you did it?” Declan asked.

  “I did not admit anything, and I do not know anything, so torturing me won’t do a bit of good,” Betsy said.

  “Oh, I’m going to torture you all right, Betsy Gallagher. You are going to walk through this shit to the bed of my truck, where you will ride in the back of it because I don’t want a Gallagher inside it.”

  She opened the door and set her fancy boots down in two inches of brown matter that made her snarl. “I hate you, Declan. I hope when you come back that you fall in this and it gets all inside your truck.”

  “Feelin’ is mutual,” Declan said.

  Betsy stepped on the running board of the truck, slung a leg over the side of the bed, and settled in with her back propped right under the window. Declan’s tires slipped when he first tried to drive away, but he eased off the gas and finally got enough traction to disappear into the darkness.

  “Now what?” Rhett asked.

  “When Declan gets back, he’ll take you home to Fiddle Creek and then me to the house. We can’t clean this up until morning,” Leah said. “Your truck is probably totaled. I’ll have the guys haul it to a barn and spray it off. You can send your insurance people here to assess the damage.”

  “No good deed goes unpunished.”

  “I’m sorry, Rhett, but it’s the Gallaghers’ fault, not mine.”

  “Who burned down their school?” he asked.

  She raised her right hand. “Probably the Brennans, but honest to God, I did not know anything about it.”

  “Someone is going to get hurt before this is over.”

  She nodded in agreement. “They have in the past. Back when it first started, there were actual killings and hangings. Nowadays, there might be property damage, but no one has been killed since Rayford Brennan died back in 1900.”

  “What was his great sin?”

  “He fell in love with a Gallagher, and when she wound up pregnant, the Gallaghers hanged him and sent her to California. She died giving birth to the baby and it died with her.”

  Rhett draped an arm around her shoulders. “And the Brennans retaliated?”

  “We always do.”

  “That mean this isn’t the end of this?” he asked.

  “That’s what it means. Granny will literally rain down hell upon Naomi Gallagher. And then she’ll do something back and it’ll go on for months. The dust from the last battle has barely settled. Betsy is right—this will be known as the shit war.”

  “Even in polite company?” he asked.

  “Then it will be the toilet war.” She sighed. “I didn’t think anything could be worse than the pig war, but this will top it for sure.”

  He drew her even closer. “Or maybe the Holy Shit War.”

  She chuckled. “It’s not funny.”

  “Got to laugh or you’ll cry.”

  “I can hear the jokes now, and they are going to fuel Granny’s anger.” She sighed.

  “I’m sorry, Leah. You don’t seem to be the feudin’ type to me. Now, Betsy is another story, and so are Honey and Kinsey. But you have an old soul that likes peace and order, not chaos and craziness.”

  She looked up into his eyes. “What makes you say that?”

  “It’s the way I see it.”

  “Don’t know about an old soul, but I do like peace. I don’t want to be the next Brennan queen. I want to teach school and enjoy the kids. I want to settle down sometime in the not-to-distant future with a man who loves me like I am and who doesn’t want to change me. I want to grow a vegetable garden and roses, and read books in the summer while my kids romp around in the yard with a water hose and spray each other. I want peace and order in my life, and as long as this feud is going, I’ll never have it because I’m a Brennan. But I hate this feud.”

  He kissed her on the forehead. “Maybe someday you won’t be a Brennan anymore.”

  “Might as well wish for the moon and all the stars,” she mumbled.

  Their noses twitched less as they grew accustomed to the horrible aroma. With the windows rolled up and the engine turned off, they were in their own little cocoon, even if it wasn’t a pleasant one. Rhett liked the way that Leah fit in his arms, especially when he sunk his nose into her hair and got a whiff of coconut shampoo, barroom smoke, and the faint scent of beer.

  With his fist, he tipped her chin up, and then he lowered his lips until they covered hers in a passionate kiss that fogged the windows of the truck. That lead to another long, lingering kiss with the fingers of his right hand tangling into her hair to hold her head steady for more leverage. His left hand splayed out on her back, and he could feel the strap of her bra. He found himself hoping for a time when they could shed the confinement of clothing and he could feel her bare skin against his.

  Her arms snaked up around his neck, her hand undoing the rubber band holding the ponytail in place.

  “I love your dark hair. Don’t ever cut it off,” she said.

  “I love your blond hair. I won’t get a buzz cut if you leave yours long.” He strung kisses from her forehead to her eyelids, to the tip of her nose, and down the sensitive skin on the side of her neck.

  * * *

  Drawing even closer to him, she shifted her weight until she was sitting in his lap with the steering wheel against her back. She traced the tat on his arm with her forefinger and asked. “Want to tell me about this while we wait?”

  “It’s not a third date yet.” He grinned and then kissed her again.

  It felt oh so right for her to be there in his truck with him—even covered in crap.

  “Dammit!” he said.

  “Where? Is he getting that mess on him?” Leah asked.

  “No, look.” Rhett pointed toward two headlights coming at them. “Not dammit, as in my dog, but dammit, as in I wanted to make out with you some more.”

  The headlights of a truck approached slowly, and she quickly moved to the far side of the seat; it wouldn’t do for her brother to catch them making out like a couple of teenagers. The truck carefully backed up beside Rhett’s poor, crippled vehicle, and Declan honked. Leah took a deep breath and rolled down the window.

  “I want you to open the door and very carefully step from that truck to this one. I swear to God, Leah, if you make a mistake and step wrong, you will ride in the back just like Betsy,” Declan said. “And once you are inside, then Rhett can come across and get in the back. I’ll take him home first. Granny will have a shotgun loaded by now and you sure don’t want to take him
to the house.”

  “Pull up a little more,” Leah said.

  “Why?”

  “Because if Rhett can’t ride in the cab, neither will I,” she said.

  “What in the hell has gotten into you?”

  “I mean it. We are all three going to ride in the front seat, because if any of this splatters up on me in the back, Granny will have your hide, not mine, for bringing the smell in the house.”

  “Then you’d both better be careful. Granny’s anger won’t be nothing compared to mine if you get that crap inside my truck. I can hose off the back where Betsy was, but the inside is a different matter,” Declan said.

  She eased out carefully and slid across the seat and into the other truck. Rhett did the same, going slow so that he didn’t touch anything. Even though Declan was behaving like a jackass, she couldn’t blame him a bit for not wanting that stuff inside the cab of his truck. Thank goodness Rhett hadn’t been driving with the windows down, or the story would have had a whole new ending to it.

  “Thank you for taking me home,” Rhett said after they were both in Declan’s truck.

  “You were trying to help my sister. It’s the least I can do.”

  Leah poked Declan in the ribs with her elbow. “And his truck is ruined because of our feud that he didn’t have a thing to do with.”

  Declan’s truck tires spun, and Leah inhaled deeply, getting a nose full of the horrible smell again. She said a silent prayer that they wouldn’t get stuck and need another truck to come pull them out of the slime. He gunned it, and they were on the way, leaving a four-foot splash of crap in their wake.

  “Dammit,” Declan groaned and slowed down.

  “Just be damn glad I wasn’t back there,” Leah told him.

  “I believe that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you cuss,” Declan said.

  “Well, it might not be the last time after this. You know they’re going to dub it the shit war now,” she said.

  “I’d already thought of that, but if you’re smart, you won’t be using words like that in front of Granny.” Declan drove slowly until they were out on the paved road, and then he floored it, going ninety miles per hour down the winding road toward Fiddle Creek. He barely slowed down to turn onto the gravel road beside the store.