Love You Gone: A gripping psychological crime novel with an incredible twist

by Rona Halsall

  Luke’s pulse quickened, his mind searching for an answer that might calm her down. ‘What? Are you sure?’

  ‘Well, it was Ceri who opened the door. The woman asked for you and Ceri realised that nobody knew you were here. So, she denied any knowledge and shut the door.’

  Christ! How did they track me down so quickly? A flush of heat surged through his body, sweat gathering on his brow. ‘And they were definitely police?’ He pulled into a layby, wanting to focus on the conversation. This was the worst news. The very worst.

  ‘Well, she didn’t give them time to say. They weren’t in uniform or anything and not Irish. But who else would be asking for you here?’

  Luke had to admit that the logic was sound. He couldn’t think of anyone else who’d be knocking on their door. The police. Already? He closed his eyes, telling himself not to panic as adrenaline coursed round his body. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought. Maybe Ceri had got it wrong. Misheard or something, her worry about them being found making her hear things that hadn’t been said. That was possible, wasn’t it?

  ‘Mum, I’m almost at Cork. I’ll be there as fast as I can.’ He gathered his breath, a whole herd of thoughts galloping through his mind as he tried to decide what he should do to keep his family safe. ‘Don’t worry, just keep an eye out and don’t open the door to anyone.’

  ‘Okay, Luke. You take care now.’ There was a tremor in her voice and he knew he’d done little to ease her panic. ‘Don’t go driving too fast. I couldn’t cope if you had an accident.’

  Luke thought the possibility of an accident was probably the least of his worries. ‘I’m sure it’s all okay, Mum. See you soon.’

  He ended the call and screeched away from the kerb.

  They found me. How the hell did that happen?

  His heart was racing, panic searing through his body as he ran through everything in his head, trying to work it out. His plan was in pieces, the risks he’d taken all for nothing. How has it all gone wrong?

  Ted. That was the obvious answer. He was always the weakest link and his mother’s insistence that he should be involved, that the timings wouldn’t work without him, had proved to be their undoing. He was pretty sure Ted would have had an uncomfortable encounter with the police by now after the call to Crimestoppers. Maybe Ted had told the police that they’d escaped, told them about their new identities. He’d do that, wouldn’t he? And once the police knew they were alive, well, it was simple to check through family connections and that would lead them to the house.

  Luke clenched his teeth and snarled at the naivety of them all. Ted had known too much. And now he’d put them all in danger. Or did I do that myself? It had been Luke’s decision to get the drug squad involved. Had that been his downfall? What goes around comes around, he reminded himself, and he knew that none of them were blameless. All of them had made decisions that had led them down this dead-end. There had never been an easy solution, no miracle cure to ease their desperation.

  As he approached the suburbs of Cork, he knew what he had to do. There was only one way to keep his family safe and he had to be brave and just do it. He stopped the car, checked the map on his phone, and found the place he was looking for. Easy enough to get there, he realised, memorising the directions. With his jaw set, he ticked off the left turns and the right turns in his head until the building he was looking for was there, in front of him. He parked in a visitor’s space, took a deep breath and walked through the doors.

  The person at the desk looked up, his Garda uniform crisp and tidy, an enquiring expression on his face.

  ‘I’m Luke Roberts. I’m visiting relatives and I’ve just been told that the police in Cumbria are looking for me.’

  Forty-Nine

  Ten months later

  Nine months and twenty-three days after he’d been taken into police custody, Luke walked free from Wrexham Prison. There was a car waiting for him, his children standing beside it, along with Ceri, who’d been looking after them while he was inside. He’d admitted to everything relating to the drugs business, told the police everything he knew and was rewarded for his cooperation with a more lenient sentence. He’d never known time go so slowly, each day inching to its conclusion, but he’d made sure that he was a model prisoner and now he was out on parole.

  ‘Dad! Dad!’ The children jumped up and down and ran to greet him, throwing their arms around him as he crouched down. He held them to him and savoured the precious moment, the feel of his children, his flesh and blood. The people he would do anything for to ensure their safety.

  ‘I’ve missed you both so much.’ He buried his head in Tessa’s hair, Callum clasped to his chest, unable to say more for the lump in his throat.

  He’d had a lot of time to think in prison. Time to understand his priorities and come to terms with the decisions that he’d made. As luck would have it, he was put on the same wing as Ted and with the help of a mediator, over the space of several months, they’d managed to talk through what had happened, and why the family had needed to get away from him. How his over-protectiveness had become oppressive and abusive.

  Counselling had helped Ted’s view of the world to become more balanced and he and Luke had come to an understanding. Ted would be inside for at least another year, having admitted to being the mastermind behind the cannabis operation, and Luke had promised to visit him on a regular basis, hoping that, over time, they could work out how he could become part of the family again.

  The children pulled Luke towards the car, where Ceri was standing waiting, a wide grin on her face. He’d never seen her looking so happy and he wrapped her in a big hug.

  ‘Thank you so much for looking after these two.’ He let out a shuddering sigh as the realisation hit him that he was really free. ‘My God, it was…’ He could feel the emotions swelling up in his chest and he turned to look back at the place that had been his home for almost ten months, clear in his mind that he would never do anything that might risk a return visit.

  ‘No problem,’ Ceri said. ‘They’ve been great. No problem at all. We’ve all settled in to that big house of yours just fine.’

  ‘I can go for sleepovers with Sion still, can’t I, Dad? It’s only round the corner.’

  ‘’Course you can, Cal. When you’re invited.’

  ‘And Tessa comes swimming with me on Thursdays,’ Ceri said, throwing an arm round her niece’s shoulder. ‘It’s okay if we keep that up, isn’t it?’

  ‘We have to go,’ Tessa piped up, ‘’cos Auntie Ceri fancies the lifeguard.’ She giggled as Ceri pulled a horrified face.

  Luke laughed and nodded. ‘Of course it is.’ Swimming. He was glad Tessa had found something she enjoyed and if it was allowing his sister to have a more normal life again, then all the better. ‘Swimming sounds great.’

  ‘It’s such fun, Dad. We do life-saving and dive for bricks and I can swim a mile now.’

  Luke looked at Ceri, who was hiding a smile. ‘A mile. Well, that’s pretty impressive.’

  ‘And I want to go on Tuesdays as well, Dad. Then I can train to be in the team.’

  Luke blinked harder. ‘Yep, yep, I’m sure that’ll be fine.’

  ‘Hey, let’s give your dad a bit of space,’ Ceri said with a laugh, bundling the children into the car, while Luke got into the passenger seat.

  Luke watched the prison fade into the distance as the car moved away from the kerb and they started on their way home to Bangor, where his parents would be waiting for him, having sold the farm and bought a bungalow on the same estate as Luke’s house.

  It’s over. It’s really over.

  Ceri had been given a suspended sentence for her part in the drugs business. Luke had testified that she had nothing to do with it and the court believed him for the most part, because it corroborated what Ted had said. His parents had also been exonerated of any blame, all their children having testified that they’d had nothing to do with the business.

  ‘Sion’s dog has just had puppies, Dad.’ T
essa’s voice was wheedling.

  ‘They’re so cool,’ Callum chipped in. ‘Just little balls of white fluff. And there’s two left that nobody wants.’ Luke looked over his shoulder and caught Tessa giving Callum the thumbs up.

  ‘Yes,’ Luke said, not having to be asked. ‘Yes, we can. It would be mean not to give them a home, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘Really?’ He turned and looked at the joy on his children’s faces, his heart swelling with love for the two people he cared most about in the world.

  He nodded. ‘Yes, really.’

  A couple of puppies would be a great focus for them all, and he didn’t even need to know what breed they were. What did it matter? It would get them out on walks and they could all get involved in training them.

  It was going to be tricky to find work now with his criminal record, but he’d got a volunteer placement working at a home in Llandudno for blind ex-servicemen. Selling the cannabis had been wrong, and he accepted that, but he still wanted to help his former colleagues. This placement sounded perfect and he’d been told that if it worked out, then come the summer, there would be seasonal work. And who knew what might happen after that.

  They turned onto the A55 and headed home, and the chatter faded for a while. Left with his own thoughts, Luke nodded to himself. He’d done the right thing, he was sure of that now. It had been a hard choice to make and a big risk, but looking at his children and his sister, seeing how they’d blossomed, he knew that he’d make the same choice again because it had been the only way to set them all free. Free to be themselves and escape their life of fear and abuse.

  Luke smiled and let out a whoop of joy that set the children off laughing; a sound that was music to his ears. It was the sound of his future.

  Epilogue

  It was almost nine in the evening and dark by the time he got to the Lake District and the house. He parked down the road a little way, in an entrance to a field where his car wouldn’t be seen, then walked, glad to see that the lights were on, the cars were in the drive and Mel was home.

  He tried the door, but it was locked. He knocked, his heart pounding in his chest, no idea how his arrival was going to be received.

  She stood in the doorway, swaying slightly, and stared at him, her mouth hanging open, before throwing her glass of wine into his face. He didn’t flinch, but instead moulded his expression into a mask of regret and apology, letting the wine drip from his chin, stifling his instinct to wipe it off, smothering the curses that ran up his throat, threatening to burst from his mouth. He had to take care. Baby steps, he told himself. Little baby steps until I’ve got this done.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Mel. We need to talk.’ He put his hands together as if in prayer. ‘Please let me explain. Then you’ll know I’ve got your best interests at heart. Please?’

  Her eyes were wild, fury twisting her mouth from side to side. ‘Damn right you need to explain!’ she yelled. He kept his distance, letting the anger work through her system.

  ‘Will you let me in, Mel. Please?’ He kept his voice soft. ‘Let’s talk this through, then you’ll understand.’

  She stood on the doorstep, her breath puffing out of her mouth, making white clouds in the icy air as her hand reached for the door handle as if to slam it shut. She frowned at him for a long moment. He could almost see her thinking. Then she went back inside, throwing a look over her shoulder. ‘You better come in.’

  The tension tightened in his shoulders. That was the first obstacle dealt with. Now he had to focus on the next. Be nice, he told himself. Persuasive.

  He followed her to the lounge, where she stood in front of the fire, glaring at him.

  ‘So, go on then, tell me why you’re here.’ She looked him up and down as if he was the most repulsive thing she’d ever seen and he reminded himself that it didn’t matter.

  Grovel, he told himself, his fists clenching with the desire to smack that derisive expression off her face

  ‘Look, Mel. I’m pretty shaken up myself.’ He put a hand to his forehead. ‘Let’s be civil about this.’

  ‘Civil?’ She spat the word at him, fury reddening her cheeks. ‘You are going to pay for this. You and your shitty kids. You think you can do something like this to someone? Do you?’ She shook her head, advancing towards him, her empty wine glass stabbing at his face. ‘I told you what would happen if you tried to leave me, didn’t I? I’ll have those kids off you in the blink of an eye.’ She nodded. ‘And then they’ll know what proper discipline is.’ A sneer twisted her face. ‘The police think you’ve been abusing them. Oh yes, and the teacher at school rang in to say she thought you were hitting them and I showed the police these bruises on my wrists.’ She laughed then. ‘So who’s going to believe you, eh?’

  Luke staggered backwards, shaken to the core by her words, and knew then what he had to do, what he had to say. He’d hoped with all his heart that it wouldn’t come to this, but her words had narrowed it down to one option and one option only.

  ‘No, no, you’ve got it wrong. I’m not leaving you. There was an emergency. Let me explain.’ He grabbed her glass, keen to neutralise the only lethal weapon he had spotted in the room. ‘I’ll fill this up, shall I? I could do with a drink, my nerves are shattered after what’s happened.’

  His heart was hammering so fast he thought it was going to burst out of his chest. Will she go for it? Will she? He held his breath, watching her, getting ready to take evasive action if needed. The tic jumped by his eyebrow as he waited for his wife to strike. Her mouth screwed into a scowl, bringing back memories of all those times she’d hit and scratched and thumped and thrown things at him. All the words of derision, the constant chipping away at his self-esteem. The fear they’d all felt in her presence.

  That’s when any doubts evaporated.

  Later, he watched her, lying there in the bathwater, looking so peaceful, and he wished with all his heart that things had been different. But he’d tried, hadn’t he? He’d tried until he himself was on the point of suicide. His children deserved to be free of her. As did his family. Imagine if she’d got custody of his kids. Imagine what torture that would have been for all of them.

  Bubbles of air floated to the surface.

  Then they stopped.

  If you were gripped by Love You Gone, then don't miss Keep You Safe. You will be on the edge of your seat. Available now!

  Keep You Safe

  A gripping psychological thriller with a twist you won’t see coming

  Get it here!

  I have to get my little boy back…

  I’ll never forget the feeling of holding him in my arms. The softness of his skin. The sweetness of his smile.

  But my husband took our son away. He said it was for the best.

  He said he’d keep him safe.

  And he was always a good father… even if he failed me when I needed him most.

  I know I should trust him to protect our little boy… so why can’t I?

  A totally gripping psychological thriller about the power of a mother’s love, and the lengths she will go to to protect her child – perfect for fans of Big Little Lies, The Girl on the Train and C.L. Taylor.

  Available now.

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  Also by Rona Halsall

  Love You Gone

  Keep You Safe

  A Letter from Rona

  I want to say a huge thank you for choosing to read Love You Gone. If you did enjoy it, and want to keep up to date with all my latest releases, just sign up at the following link. Your email address will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time.

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  The inspiration for this story came from a discussion with my husband during one of our long dog walks, when I was throwing story ideas about. It struck me – when do we ever hea
r news stories about men as the victims of domestic abuse? Clearly, it happens, but seems to be one of society’s taboo subjects, something that isn’t acknowledged and therefore makes it so hard for victims to find any sort of support or even recognition that it is happening to them.

  In writing this novel, I wanted to look at impossible situations and explore what lengths someone might go to in order to free themselves, especially if the safety of their children was involved – this element is told through both Luke and his mother’s perspectives. Abuse comes in many different forms, and possessiveness can be just as damaging to a person, especially when they become a virtual prisoner in their own home.

  I hope you loved Love You Gone and if you did I would be very grateful if you could write a review. I’d really like to hear what you think, and it makes such a difference helping new readers to discover one of my books for the first time.

  I love hearing from my readers – you can get in touch on my Facebook page, through Twitter or Goodreads.

  Thanks,

  Rona Halsall

  Acknowledgements

  Firstly, I would like to thank you, the reader, for choosing my book, and I hope you have enjoyed the reading experience as much as I enjoyed the writing.

  As always, I have to thank my agent, Hayley Steed of Madeleine Milburn Literary, TV and Film Agency for her enthusiasm, and Bookouture for giving me such a warm welcome to their family of authors and amazing support team.