Aryn's Desire: A BOLD Security Novel (Finding Submission Book 1)

by Derrick, Zoey

I shrug. “I’m not sure yet. I like her. She’s the first woman, outside of a work contact, that I’ve ever given my real number too.”

  He snickers, “That’s a step.”

  “Is there something I should know about Ashley?” I ask him again.

  He puts his silverware down and looks at me. “Even if I knew anything, which I don’t, I wouldn’t tell you. One of the biggest steps to a D/s relationship is honesty and communication. I think whatever her history is, she should be the one to tell you. I will tell you that she’s been a member of the club for about two years now, while she is a very good submissive, well-trained by her club guardian, she’s never had a full time Top. But she’s not afraid to play either.” His face is sincere as he tells me these things and I can’t help but nod my understanding.

  “I’m already having anxiety about entering that kind of relationship with her,” I tell him candidly.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Uh, because up until your play party, I was vanilla.”

  He looks at me. “That doesn’t mean anything. If you’re confident in what you want, there are more than enough ways for you to learn.”

  “True, but is having an experienced sub the right way to go about that? What if I take too long to learn, what if I can’t-”

  “I’m going to stop you right there,” Dex chimes in.

  I deflate a little bit, giving him silent permission to continue. “A D/s relationship is full of learning and learning curves. Anytime anyone hooks up with someone else, there is always a learning period. You can’t just jump right into a scene, whether you’re an experienced Top or not. You need to take some time to learn your partner, understand what’s right and what’s wrong, their limits and their dos and don’ts. It wouldn’t be any different.” Dex’s voice is calm and confident as he finishes his speech.

  “He’s right,” Derek says. “There are a lot of things you have to learn, but so much of it involves what it is that you want from the relationship and of course what she wants. The bottom line is if it’s something you both really want, you will both figure it out.” Derek sighs, “It’s not just about what happens in the club, or even at home. The dynamic that you want outside of ‘playtime’ is something you need to figure out first. Then you go from there. Floggers, cuffs, whips, those are all part of the package. But there are thousands of relationships that are D/s without ever using an instrument.”

  I nod, understanding what Derek is saying.

  “You can have a strictly vanilla sex life but have a D/s relationship. The toys, the club, playrooms, dungeons, those are all perks.” Dex smiles a mischievous smile.

  “I don’t want a relationship without that kind of stuff,” I tell them both.

  “Then you figure it out. Whether with Ashley or someone else. It doesn’t matter. But the point is you can’t Top someone without first learning about them. You don’t know what she’s into; you don’t know what any of her limits are. For many submissive types, it’s not about sex. It’s about the release, the letting go of life, putting the decisions into their partner’s hands, whether it is their pleasure, their pain or their life,” Derek says and I lower my head.

  “I had no idea there was so much to all this,” I mumble.

  “That’s why you’re here. This lifestyle isn’t for everyone, Beck,” Dex says. “And it might not be the right one for you, but this is your chance to figure it out. Ash might be the person that will help you better understand what it is that you want in this lifestyle, or whether or not you want this lifestyle at all.”

  I don’t respond and after a few minutes they pick up their conversations.

  I’d been so blinded by what it is that I thought I wanted, I never bothered to step back and think about what it is that I need. Derek and Dex’s words are what I needed to hear. Sure, I could take Ashley to bed, but for the first time in my life, I’m not entirely convinced that I could walk away from her.

  That thought drives me through the rest of the meal and I rejoin the conversation as we finish up lunch.

  When we’re done, we head back to the hotel to relax and change before we leave for the club.

  TWENTY~FIVE

  WALKING INTO THE club tonight is way different than it was last night. While there is still similar attire on many of the submissives, the Tops’ attire has changed dramatically. Last night there were suits or jeans and t-shirts, tonight there are a lot of leather pants, shit kicker boots. Frankly, many of them look like I do on a regular basis. The submissives in the lobby of The Box are more scantily dressed, many of them wearing corsets that expose their breasts with capes. If there is a top, it’s thin and see-through. I swallow hard. I’ve never seen so many half-naked, naked or nearly naked women in one room. Not even the night of the private party compares to this. So many of them are absolutely gorgeous and the breasts range in size from tiny to huge, and their bodies are the same. Some skinny and many pleasantly plump ones. I’m surprised by the comfort level of the “less than perfect” bodies in the room. Cotah is a good example of this. Though she’s not a big girl, she and Raine definitely don’t shop in the same stores. But Cotah has one of those perfectly squishy bodies. Big chested and nice wide hips to grab hold of and that is attractive to me.

  I’d always assumed that I wanted stick girls, but after seeing Cotah and some of these other women, I find myself drawn to them via their courage and confidence. Until I come face to face with Ash once again.

  She’s manning the podium again tonight, only this time there is a big Top standing behind her with his arms crossed, looking positively pissed off. Except when Ash says something to him, then his facial features soften and a smile spreads across his lips, changing his demeanor a thousand percent.

  “Aryn, this is Teddy.” Derek introduces me to the burly man standing watch.

  He offers me his hand and I take it. “Pleasure to meet you, Aryn.” He smiles, it’s warm and oddly inviting.

  “Likewise.” I smile in return.

  He pulls me toward the corner. “Ash is in my charge and I understand you’ve been talking with her.”

  A slice of fear rockets through me. “We have. We met last night, I didn’t mean to intrude or talk to her without-”

  He shakes his head, effectively cutting me off. “No, she is perfectly capable of talking to whomever she pleases. I, however, have a say in private affairs, such as behind closed door conversations and I’d like to get to know you a little more.”

  I’m confused by his request and Teddy has no problem pegging my confusion.

  “What I mean is I don’t mind talking, in fact I think that is a great idea, but she is in my charge, which means she is my responsibility. So if you wish to take things beyond talking, like playing together, please clear that with me first and before I allow it, I’d like to get to know you a little more.”

  It makes sense now. “Of course. I hope I haven’t crossed a line.”

  “No, you haven’t. But she has been honest with me, telling me about your conversation. She sees you as someone she’d like to get to know better and possibly even play with, but she won’t unless I grant her permission to do so.”

  “Is she yours?”

  “No, she’s simply my charge, though I’ve been the one who’s trained her. Single submissives, when they join the club, are given a charge. Someone they know or get to know, someone who is their third party contact. It’s a safety measure to ensure they’re being treated properly and that they safely seek what it is that they are after or whom. In the case of Ash, she came into the club, much like you have, green and willing. I took her under my wing. I’ve trained her, and now I take charge in helping her find her person.”

  “But have you guys been together?”

  He barks a laugh. “You see that, sitting in the corner?” He points to the opposite corner, and kneeling on the floor, facing the wall, is a boy, a scrawny one, opposite the one I’m talking to and a thrill runs through me. “That is mine,” Teddy declares and it’s mad
e clear. Teddy is gay and while he’s taken Ash under his wing, there is no sexual attraction there. I smile.

  “Well, okay then,” I say with a smile and Teddy grabs my shoulder. “Sometime tonight, if you would, give me your number. I’d like to get together with you to discuss your goals with Ash.”

  Though I haven’t decided what it is that I want to do with Ashley, if anything, I hand Teddy my card.

  He doesn’t take it. “We’re an anonymous club.”

  I smile. “I know that. I’ve got nothing to hide and no one to hide it from. The closest person in my life just walked into the club with his sub.”

  “Fair enough.” He takes my card and pockets it.

  “I don’t live here. I live in Los Angeles,” I tell him.

  He leans in a little closer. “I know,” he whispers. I give him a puzzled look. “I’m part of the approval committee.” He winks at me and sends me on my way.

  I approach Ash, but seek confirmation from Teddy before kissing her on the cheek. “See you inside,” I whisper and her breath hitches and her cheeks turn a rosy pink. I smile to myself and walk past her into the club.

  Tonight looks empty compared to last night. All the apparatuses are lit up and there are sessions already in progress, but the room is definitely less crowded. I find Dex and Derek, sans Cotah and Raine. “You alright?” Dex asks me.

  “Yup, I’m good. Ash is Teddy’s charge. She apparently told him about me.”

  Derek turns toward us. “As she should. That’s the point of being a charge. There will be little that transpires between you and her that Teddy will not know. She wears his training collar and until he releases her, she will continue to report to him.”

  “I’m beginning to gather all that.”

  “What did he want?” Dex asks.

  “Just that he’d like to have a chance to talk to me, discuss my intentions with her and he’d like me to discuss any private, alone time that I want with Ashley with him before doing so.”

  “Again, as it should be,” Derek says with a smile. “Again, relationship dynamics are different, but when under training, the Top has the right to punish the bottom for disobeying orders or for doing something she shouldn’t. For example, Ash is probably free to do as she wishes outside of the walls of this club. That includes anyone that she meets, however Teddy likely wants to know where she is going, with whom and a check-in. He cannot stop her from sleeping with anyone, but he can punish her for sleeping with someone from the club.”

  “Whoa.” I don’t know what else to say besides, “So had I not turned her down last night, she might have gotten in trouble with Teddy?”

  Derek smiles reassuringly. “Teddy was here last night. I have no doubt that at some point in the night she’d already asked him, or she would have before you left.”

  At some point tonight, I will ask her. Though I didn’t tell Teddy about that and he didn’t seem too surprised by what she’d whispered to him, he may have already known.

  “Where are the girls?” I ask, changing the subject.

  Both men smile and look at each other. “Getting ready,” Dex says with an excited grin on his face.

  “We’re gonna be using these two stations. You are more than welcome to watch us, wander around the club, do whatever you want, except Ash.” He smirks.

  I laugh and I roll my eyes as they set up their tables next to two St. Andrew’s Crosses. When they are done and ready, Dex grabs me. “One of the things I know Raine enjoyed most the first time we were here was when Derek brought her back to collect Cotah, giving her a chance to see what it’s like from beginning to end. Would you like to watch?”

  I hesitate. I don’t want to be a part of something that is private and personal. “The girls know you’re coming in,” Derek adds, countering my conclusion. “You have to remember, this is about communication and I would never bring anyone into the room that Cotah isn’t aware of. She may be my slave, but she is also my most precious treasure and I would never violate her that way. I know that Dex wouldn’t either. While they both know when we are in the dungeon there is nothing we can do about the onlookers, in my private room here or at home, it’s within my control and I would never do anything to make Cotah feel unsafe.” He winks and heads for the dark entryway near the bar and Dex follows behind him. I can’t help my curiosity, so I follow them both down the hallway.

  *~* CADEN *~*

  Looks like I got here just in time. Just in time to see Aryn following Dex and Orion back to Orion’s private room. Just in time to catch a glimpse of Aryn’s gorgeous backside.

  A shiver of anticipation and excitement slides up my spine as I walk deeper into the club.

  TWENTY~SIX

  ** ARYN **

  I DUTIFULLY follow Dex and Derek toward the room. When they get to the door, Derek unlocks it. I take some strange comfort in the fact that the door is locked and I can’t quite understand why that is. It’s a rather unassuming door, and there are several doors down the hallway beyond where we are. I follow the men inside and it’s not a huge room, but there is a good size bed along the right wall, a book shelf across from it and there are a couple of cuffs hanging from the ceiling. Beyond the bookshelf is a rack of various things, a flogger, and a couple of paddles. The room is big enough that you could play privately inside versus out in the dungeon.

  The girls are on opposite sides of the room. Cotah is near the foot of the bed, along one wall, and Raine is near a doorway that looks like it leads to a bathroom and their Tops join them. Derek and Dex both thank their subs for being ready for them, caressing their heads and giving them praise for what they’ve done to get ready. My chest tightens and the girls blossom under the soft touches of their Tops and I realize that I’m envious. Not of Dex and Derek, no, my envy is directed at the girls.

  “Are you ready, pet?” Derek asks Cotah and then Dex asks the same question to Raine.

  Both the girls answer, “Yes, Master.”

  “Then rise up and turn around,” Derek says to Cotah.

  “Come here, pet. Turn around for me,” Dex says and Raine rises, turning to face Dex. Her eyes are downcast and Dex caresses her cheek. “Your wrists.” His voice has a soft command and Raine produces her wrists, palms up. Dex wraps first one, then the other, leather cuff around her wrists and secures them. The cuffs are black with a purple lining in them and there are two different sized closed loops on them.

  I slowly pull my eyes away from Raine and turn my head to see that Derek has done the same with Cotah and is now securing ankle cuffs to her that have the same look as the ones around her wrist. When he’s done, I watch as he gently caresses his hand up her leg, giving her his silent appreciation for what she is giving him now. Her submission.

  The girls are dressed only in underwear. Their breasts are exposed and Dex tugs on one of Raine’s nipples and her eyes slowly close.

  He releases her nipples and I notice that she does not have any piercings in. It puzzles me, but not enough to dwell on it. My eyes wander down and she too has cuffs around her ankles. Dex grabs the ring on her black collar. The same one I’ve seen before. The one that she wore in their private playroom back in California. He leads her toward me and I sidestep the door, giving them room to move past me. I look at Cotah and Derek as he clips a D-clip to the rings on her cuffs, forcing her hands together and then he leads her from the room. They each have their own way of leading their women out. Cotah needs to be lead because of the blindfold she’s wearing.

  “You good?” Derek whispers to me and I nod. He smiles and walks past me, leading Cotah from the room. I follow behind them, pulling the door shut. The door locks automatically and I follow them into the dungeon.

  I cannot take my eyes off Cotah and while there is nothing sexual about my staring at her, I want to look away when that envious feeling returns. She has given herself over to Derek. Given him her trust by allowing him to lead her from the room. Lead her in a direction she cannot see. Allowing him to guide her to where they’ve set
up in the dungeon.

  The trust she has to have in him is awe-inspiring. Making me realize that a submissive truly puts her life in her Top’s hands.

  It also makes me realize that I should be jealous of Derek and Dex, but I find myself envious of the girls, of the bottoms, the subs.

  *~* CADEN *~*

  Dex and his pet emerge from the hallway, followed shortly after by a blindfolded Cotah with Derek. Following right behind them is Aryn and my heart skips a beat when I see him. Something is bothering him and I’m not entirely sure what it is, but something about his posture tells me that he’s stewing on something. In the times that I’ve seen him until now, he’s carried himself like a Top. The little things he says and even some of the reactions he has are more submissive, but if you think about it long and hard, that submissive could be misunderstood easily. His submissive appearance could be nothing more than being confused about what’s going on around him or unsure of how he’s supposed to act. However, his posture has never been so broken. Aryn appears deflated, defeated even, and my cock hardens wondering if it’s not confusion, but really what it seems. Submission.

  *~* ARYN *~*

  I stand back from where Dex and Derek are attaching Cotah and Raine to the crosses and I now understand the cuffs. Derek removed the D-clip that was holding Cotah’s hands together, but he hasn’t removed the blindfold as he secures her wrists to the cross. After each click of the hooks he caresses Cotah’s back to comfort her. While I can’t hear his words, he is speaking to her. She shivers and he moves over to the other cuff.

  My earlier jealousy rises higher, sending me into a spiral of confusion.

  It’s like watching a car wreck, you don’t want to look away, you want to watch and be a part of what they have going on. But I’m no longer sure that I want to be on the Top anymore and that realization hits me hard.