The Road to Hell

by Jackie Kessler

  The bitch was cleaning her claws on me, wiping residues of me on my own body.

  I snarled, rearing back to buck her off. Lillith pushed me down, then clouted my head against the wall again.

  Wow, look at all the pretty stars.

  "Settle down, Jezebel," she said, "or I'll get you a collar for your neck before I break it."

  This is me, settling down. Maybe I'd just watch the stars and comets dancing along my field of vision…

  Daun said, "Let her go, Lillith. Or should I summon Pan to moderate?"

  If my neck and face hadn't felt like they'd just met the business end of a meat grinder, I would have cheered. No one willingly agrees to a god's intervention, not even a god aligned with one's own Sin. Gods have very, very warped senses of humor, especially by demonic standards. I'd met Pan a handful of times over the years. He's even more twisted than Daun.

  "Oh yes, incubus," Lillith said. I could hear her grin stretching her mouth wide enough to deep-throat an elephant's cock. "Scurry along and get your satyr god. I'm sure he'll give Jezebel to me on a silver platter. That is, after he's done shoving his dick into every orifice on her body and severing her head from her neck so he can come in her skull."

  Erk. She was insane and completely graphic. I was doomed.

  "That's a chance I'm willing to take," Daun said, voice smooth as satin bedsheets. "Are you?"

  A heated pause, and then: "Actually, you can give the satyr god a message from me."

  I felt her shift, then something moved through her—I felt it as she pushed against me, tight as a sex-starved gigolo—a bubble, just beneath the surface, growing obscenely pregnant as it rose up and up, and with a cosmic birth cry, it erupted out. Over the stink of brimstone shot a flash of odor, heat lightning trapped in a forest. Then a BOOM that left my ears ringing.

  And Daun was gone.

  I wasn't sure how I knew this. I wasn't really a demon, so my psychic Seduction sense hadn't kicked back on, and I didn't actually see what had happened to Daun, what with Lillith doing the perp push to me against the wall. But something in the corner of my mind sort of dimmed, and I understood intuitively that Daun wasn't in the room any longer. He was… gone.

  Icy tendrils wrapped around my heart, squeezed, freezing my blood. Daun was gone! The psycho bitch had blown him away, and it had nothing to do with fellatio. Shit!

  Just as I was about to fling myself into full-fledged panic, I realized that however dim, Daun's presence still hovered in my mind, a hint of a kiss, a feeling as slippery as body lotion. At least he still existed. He may have been blasted into malefic confetti, but he hadn't been annihilated. Yay for our team.

  "There now. Just us girls," Lillith said.

  Oh, goodie.

  "I've been waiting for this moment," Lillith whispered in my ear. Then she grabbed my shoulders, hefted me up, and threw me across the room. For about two seconds, I soared gracefully through the air as if I were flying. Then I crash-landed in an unceremonious heap on the ground, like demonic bird droppings.

  Ow. Ow, ow, ow.

  I slowly pulled myself up to my hands and knees, spitting the dirt from my mouth. My head still ringing from my beating and Daun's abrupt departure, I looked up and gazed upon the creature who had been my Queen for thousands of years.

  For a diminutive person, she positively loomed. Her bare flesh gleamed, a metallic sheen of bronze that captured all races—amalgamous, shifting, now the golden tones from Asia, now the deep mocha of Africa, now shifting again. Bordering her broad face, plaits of thick, wiry black hair dangled, the bones woven into its strands flashing like gemstones. Long lashes framed her large eyes, black as leaf rot. Her pug nose displayed her nostrils in full; her bee-stung lips would have driven Angelina Jolie insane with jealousy. The apples of her cheeks flushed like the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. Her body was all curves and swells—large breasts that begged to be sucked, a round stomach and full hips that made her appear soft, powerful thighs that could crush a lover mounting her. Her thick swatch of pubic hair both hid and highlighted her mound, advertised her sex. Delicate hands; tiny feet. A fertility goddess carved of flesh; sexual aggression and dominance hidden in seductive packaging.

  Lillith: the First Woman, original Bridezilla, and utter psycho bitch from Hell.

  "You owe me, Jezebel," she said, her small fists glowing with power. "For what you did to me Above, you owe me."

  Eek. Do the lying stunned thing later—she's about to blow.

  I scrambled to my feet just as Lillith pointed at me. Whoops. I felt the magic blasting its way toward me before I actually saw it, and I summoned up reserves of energy I didn't know I had and leapt to the right. The bolt slammed into the wall with a mighty THOOM, sending dirt showers into the chamber.

  She wound up for another malefic pitch. "For the way you stole my victory, you owe me."

  "Hey, you were the one trying to kill me," I said, scanning the room for anything that could be used as a weapon. Shit. Whoever decided that the minor-level nefarious didn't merit their own interior decorators obviously had never been attacked by rampaging demon queens.

  "There was a contract on your head, Jezebel," she said, taking aim. "There was nothing about that head having to be attached."

  She let loose and I dove, barely avoiding getting singed. Mental note: Acquire sidekick to act as living shield.

  Lillith slowly approached me, energy wafting from her hands, signaling her power. "Do you know how long it took me to heal, after you had that mortal shoot my host body?"

  "Okay, one, I had nothing to do with that. And two, I'd say about thirty days."

  "Bitch!" She blasted, and I rebounded off the wall in my effort to avoid getting zapped. "If I hadn't been healed, I'd still be recuperating, even now!"

  "Good to have friends to help you," I said, wondering who she'd fucked to get to heal her wounds. Demons don't do healing; it's not in their makeup. So who could have, would have, helped her? A god with a grudge?

  "Oh yes, Jezebel," she purred. "I have friends. Powerful friends. Friends who want you humiliated and tortured, even more than I do."

  Who else despised me as much as she did?

  Sneering, she said, "Do you have any idea how much it hurt? That fucking iron tore through me, shredded me. It ripped me apart!"

  "I don't think it did too much for the human host either," I said, eying the door. Good news was that it was wide open. Bad news: Lillith was in the way.

  "Stay still!" She made with the aiming again.

  Crap, I didn't know how much ponging I could do before she wound up hitting home. When all else fails, stall. "What's your beef with me, anyway? You've hated me since the beginning."

  Pointing at me, she said, "You weren't at the Beginning."

  "You know," I said, "technically, neither were you…"

  She snarled, and I threw myself to the right just before a burst of magic slammed into the wall exactly where I'd been crouching.

  "Little slag! How is it that something as low as you could have His eye?"

  Whoa. Time out from the showdown at the demonic OK Corral. Lillith was jealous of me? I racked my brain, but I had no idea who she could have been talking about. "Who? King Asmodai?"

  She snorted with laughter. "Him? He'd fuck anything with legs. No. I mean the One who kissed you so sweetly before He left us."

  It took me a moment, but then I got it. "King Lucifer?"

  "Give the girl a kewpie doll." Her eyes shone—black, bird-like, hungry. "I saw you, the day of the Announcement. I saw Him speak to you, as if you were something worthy of His attention. I saw Him kiss you."

  "It wasn't what it looked like…"

  She took another pot shot that nearly scalped me. Mental note: that line never, ever works.

  "For thousands of years, I've strutted before Him," she said as I pulled myself off the floor, "awaiting His pleasure. I've deposited my best catches at His feet. I dedicated my life to doing His work. But He never acknowledged my advances."<
br />
  Hell hath no fury like a demon scorned. "Maybe you're not His type."

  "I am every Woman ever created!" Her hands alight with blue flame, she raged as her fists smoked like mini-bonfires. If I hadn't been jockeying for my continued existence, I would have fetched some marshmallows. She bellowed, "I am everyone's type!"

  I pictured me and her, getting biblical. Blech. I'm happy to do the sapphic thing, but I'd sooner chew off my left arm than screw my former Queen.

  "But you," she hissed, her eyes glinting with malice, "you with your common looks and your questionable prowess, you've always gotten praise from Him."

  "Would it help if I told you I have no idea what you're talking about?"

  She sniffed, looking down her nose at me. "Of course you wouldn't be able to glean His presence. Only the elite intuitively recognize one another, no matter what form they wear. You? You were just a fifth-level succubus. A bottom feeder. You wouldn't recognize majesty if it bent you backward and raped you."

  As she soliloquized, I inched toward the door, all the while keeping eye contact. Don't mind me, I'm not interrupting your diatribe…

  "He'd come to me, and every time I'd think that yes, now is the moment when I'll feel His lips upon mine, He would ask about you. About your client hit rate. About your status. About you" she said, spitting the word. "And now I understand why. You'd gotten to Him somehow, before me. You were one of His favored."

  I blinked, too stunned to remember to be fearing for my life. Death. Whatever. "You think that King Lucifer and I… bless me, you think we were fucking?"

  With a snarl that would terrify a rabid wolf, she wound up for another blow. I lunged to the right, aiming for the door—

  Over the stink of ozone: rotten eggs. Then a solid THUMP, followed by a grunt.

  I risked a glance over my shoulder. And saw Daun, straddling Lillith, an iron sword raised over his head. "Pan sends his regards, bitch."

  Shrieking to rock the Firmament, Lillith attacked. All the hair on my body shot up as she threw her magic at Daun, sending him flying off of her and slamming into the wall. The sword clattered to the ground. I scrambled for it, but Lillith leveled another blast at me, one that sparked off my hooves as I leapt out of the way. Eep.

  "Maybe you stole Him away from me," she said, her fists glowing with power, "but I already have the ear of our new lord and master."

  "Good for you." Behind her, I saw Daun slowly pick himself up. He shook his head as if to clear it, and while the snarl on his face spoke of his rage, his eyes were unfocused. Whatever magic she'd hit him with, he was having trouble shaking it off. Crap.

  Now my back was to the open door, but I couldn't abandon Daun. Stupid soul bond. Couldn't the loyalty thing have lacked in at a time when my survival wasn't at risk? To keep Lillith's attention away from Daun, I said, "Wonder what King Asmodai would say about your latest project?"

  "Him? If it meant solidifying his own rule as King of Lust, he'd chain me down and send the King of Hell a written invitation to hump me."

  Huh. Okay, she was probably spot on. While creatures of the Pit were all about possessing things (and people) they wanted, they'd also sell out anyone to increase their own power base.

  "Our new dread ruler is all too happy to hear my suggestions," Lillith said, running her hands up her thighs, "to feel my hands upon His body as I work away the tension of ruling Hell."

  "Sounds like you're His new fuckbunny," I said. "Congratulations."

  Her lips pulled into a tight smile. "Not yet. But soon He'll give into temptation. Especially when I deliver to Him the broken form of the one who embarrassed Him in front of all the denizens of the Abyss."

  Hooboy.

  Moving silently, Daun reached for the sword. Go, demon ninja stealth. Grab the weapon and make like a guillotine.

  Without breaking eye contact from me, Lillith said, "If you try it, incubus, it'll be the last thing you ever do."

  He froze. Crap. Demon ninja bested by psycho bitch. Story at eleven.

  Okay, Jesse. Think. You can't beat her with magic. So how can you beat her?

  "You forget yourself, Lillith," Daun said, his voice smug, dripping with venom. "You can't hurt her. Her soul's clean."

  I saw her smile stretch into a feral grin before she pivoted to face him. "I can't hurt the mortal Jesse Harris. But I have no qualms about destroying a human pretending to be a demon."

  This was my chance, while her attention was split between me and Daun. I thought of how Lillith had undermined me for thousands of years, of how she had kept me at fifth level, all due to her petty jealousy. Biting my lip, I took a step forward. Then another.

  I thought of how she took from me the one person I'd ever truly loved. My hands clenched into fists, I took a third step.

  "A human pretending to be a demon?" Daun chuckled. "Takes one to know one, I suppose."

  Another step as Lillith screamed, "I am no pretender! There's only one mortal who descended to demonhood, and that's me! I'll rip her spine out of her throat and feast on her liver!"

  Another step. I cocked my arm way, way back.

  "I'll skin her and use her hide as a pillow! I'll—"

  That's when I tapped her on the shoulder. Interrupted mid-rant, she turned to face me, and I slammed my fist into her jaw.

  She stumbled to one knee, and I was on her like a mongoose on a cobra. I pounced onto her back, wrapping my legs around her waist and tangling the fingers of my left hand into her hair. Howling loud enough to do a werewolf proud, I rammed my fist into Lillith's nose.

  A crunch never sounded so sweet.

  With a roar, Lillith slammed her back—and me—into a wall. No dice, bitch; you're not uprooting me from my perch. I pounded her upside the head, thwocking her good and hard, not giving her a chance to use her magic.

  Snarling, she parried my blows, knocking my hands away from her eyes and ears. "Get the fuck off me!"

  I dug in like a tick on a deer. "Think you can steal my man?" As I spoke, I struck my fists against her head and face, punctuating my words with jackhammer blows. "Think again" (thud) "you" (thud) "skanky" (thud-thud) "ho!" (thump!)

  Lillith slammed me into the wall again. I grunted, feeling the effect of the blow vibrate up my back, my legs loosening around her waist. She reached up and grabbed my shoulders, then pivoted down like a hinge, throwing me off.

  I crashed against the back wall, my rage filling me, fueling me so that I barely felt the impact. Springing to my hooves, I launched myself at her, my arm swinging forward. My fist connected with her nose again, mashing the cartilage and bone. She staggered back, her hands clasped to her face, screaming her pain.

  "This is for fucking my man and taking his soul." My mouth pulling into a winning smile, I landed an uppercut clean on her jaw.

  Lillith sprawled backward, careened into the wall and then slid bonelessly to the ground.

  "Jezzie."

  I darted my gaze to Daun, standing just behind me. Covered in dirt and soot, only hints of his blue flesh peeked out. Beneath the grime, sweat caressed his muscles, gleaming like body oil, and I found myself wanting to wipe him down from head to hoof. Bless me, only Daun could turn filth into eye candy.

  His fangs flashing in a huge grin, he offered me the iron sword. "You want the honor of decapitating the bitch?"

  I beamed. "You always know just what to say."

  "Comes with a millennium of practice." As I took the hilt, our fingers touched, sending a shock of desire up my arm. Yum. He winked at me, then rubbed his pointer finger against his thumb. I felt that touch between my legs, against my clit, stroking me, swelling me bigger than his ego.

  "Do the bitch," he said, his voice a low purr that resonated in my belly. "Then I'll do you."

  Well, when he put it that way…

  Sword in my hands, I marched up to my former Queen. Nudging the blade beneath her chin, I mused aloud, "Wonder what would happen if I sliced off your head with this spiffy iron sword? Think you'll sprout a new one?"r />
  Groaning, Lillith said one word that was pure music to my ears: "Mercy."

  Gloat later. For now, information. "Where's Paul?"

  I sensed Daun's hiss rather than heard it—in my mind, the throbbing presence that I knew was the incubus stiffened, then folded in on itself like a deflating balloon.

  No, don't think about Daun now. Watch Lillith.

  She didn't answer me, but her eyes gleamed, and I could feel her already calculating, judging, plotting. Uh uh. Not this time. Smiling, I pressed the blade up, and the edge sliced into her neck. She let out a strangled cry, blood seeping out of the fresh cut and around the sword's edge, staining her skin.

  Maybe I had a soul, but I was still a demon at heart. Slicing her felt damn good.

  "I don't have to do it clean," I said, shoving the blade further into her neck. "I can saw your head off, one stroke at a time. Bet that would hurt worse than any bullet. A lot worse. Wonder how long you can scream before your voice gives out."

  She said nothing, but her eyes were wide as teacups, and her lower lip quivered, shattering her illusion of stoicism. If I were really a demon instead of a soul wearing a demon's shell, I would have smelled her fear—it would have been tangy and rancid, like spoiled grapefruit.

  Grinning as I imagined that smell in my nostrils, I said, "Where is Paul?"

  "The Caverns." Her voice was raspy, harsh, sandpaper over vocal chords. "He's in the Endless Caverns."

  Oh… crap.

  My face must have given away how my heart had sunk to my knees, because Lillith said, "If you miss him so much, why don't you go find him? Otherwise he'll be wandering around in there forever. Lost," she added like an afterthought.

  Yes, Paul would be lost, stranded in the temptations of the Caverns, a slave to his own desires. Trapped for all time. My vision blurred, doubled, and I blinked away my tears. In my hands, the sword trembled.

  "Jezzie," Daun said from behind me, "now would be a good time to shut her up permanently."