Hide: Part One (The Black Letters Series Book 1)

by Brooke Page

  “He’s very handsome, but you’d never be able to come to this bar again.”

  Nathan bobbed his head as though I had a point. My lip twitched in satisfaction. I loved when he let on that I was right.

  ***

  My lips were tingling as I tried to hold a conversation with the woman sitting next to me. “See, I can’t get close to a man. It’s just not worth it,” I slurred, holding my shot of tequila in the air.

  The older woman sighed as she clanked my glass. “Amen.” We downed our shots, and I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of all control beginning to fade from my body.

  Nathan was leaning comfortably back in his chair at a table close by, his tie loosened and his dress sleeves rolled to his elbows. Miguel was sitting next to him, batting his long eyelashes, hopeful for Nathan’s attention. Every now and then Nathan would lean over and whisper something in Miguel’s ear, causing him to blush. His apron was set on the table, so I assumed he was either taking his break or done for the night. I had no idea what time it was.

  “So money bags isn’t your man?” the older woman asked in her raspy voice. She sounded like she’d smoked her entire life. “Thought for sure he was straight with your cute little tush on his arm.”

  “Ha!” I laughed loudly, waving my hand in the air for the new bartender to bring me another drink. “Been there, tried that. He wouldn’t ‘even fuck my ass—’, those were his exact words.”

  The woman laughed. “Hard to find bi-guys. Seems only the ladies like to swing both ways.”

  “Hmm, maybe for you darlin’, but not this woman. I love me some nice, thick co-”

  “Jay!” Nathan said way too loudly as he flung his arm around my shoulders. I grasped his wrist with both hands to steady myself. “What are you going on and on about to the lovely Beatrice?” He was very smooth and collected, and I hated that he had the ability to drink half the tequila at the bar and not be affected. Miguel was standing next to him, looking like a puppy wanting to be picked to take home.

  “What? You worried Beatrice is going to be my new best friend?”

  Nathan howled, squeezing me to his side. “Oh please, no one will ever replace me.”

  “Ah, you’re forgetting Becca,” I tisked.

  Nathan rolled his eyes, his Conklin grin forming on his plush lips, lips that looked extremely kissable to me at the moment. I bit my lip in contemplation, wondering if I should give them another taste.

  “Oh boy. I think it’s time Jay and I head home.” He turned to Miguel, flashing him a smile. “Sorry, Miguel. See you next time I’m in town.” Miguel’s big brown eyes lost their hope as Nathan began to pull me off the stool.

  “I’m perfectly capable of walking on my own,” I slurred. I tried to elbow him in the side as I stood, but I completely missed, causing my body to lurch forward, nearly falling to the ground. Thankfully, Nathan caught me, laughing hysterically as I tried to find my footing in my too high red heels.

  “And this is why it’s time to call it quits. Have a good night, Beatrice.” Nathan laughed as he wrapped an arm around my waist, coaxing me to walk toward the exit.

  “I can walk!” I slurred, trying to shove him away. “I didn’t drink that much!”

  “Yeah, yeah, tell that to the drag queen you were chattering at all night.”

  “Drag queen?” I said in shock.

  Nathan chuckled, then lifted me, carrying me to his car.

  He gently slid me into the Ferrari, buckling my seat belt and taking off my heels. I felt his hand move stray strands of hair from my face, noticing a slight tremor to his touch as he held in his amusement. The car door closed as I made myself comfortable in the small space.

  Nathan smoothly pulled out of the ramp, his hand turning the music down. “Don’t turn off Elton! This is my favorite song!”

  “Tiny Dancer? Really?” Nathan asked in surprise.

  “Well, duh. I know your favorite is Candle in the Wind, but come on,” I groaned dramatically.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because every time I get in your car that song is blasting. And you’re constantly humming it, everywhere.”

  “Like where?”

  “At your desk, in the elevator, waiting in line for takeout, the shower…Where don’t you hum that song?”

  “Whatever,” Nathan exaggerated. “Why don’t you just count the lights on the highway.”

  “I will if you lay me down in sheets of linen,” I flirted.

  Nathan began to sing. “You had a busy day today…”

  “Hold me closer Tiny Dancer…” Nathan and I sang full out at once, continuing until the chorus was over.

  The smile couldn’t go unnoticed on Nathan’s face as he shook his head. “You’re something else.”

  I giggled, then sighed as I closed my eyes. My heart was beating fast, the alcohol running through my veins, drowning out all my worries and memories.

  My hand wandered, finding the expensive fabric of Nathan’s dress pants, gently stroking his firm thigh.

  I heard Nathan chuckle, then felt his hand grasp mine, holding it in his lap as he continued driving us home. The ride was long enough for Nathan to serenade me with “Candle in the Wind”.

  While he sang I hummed, my mind drifting to other thoughts as I pulled his hand in my lap. The warm skin of his forearm was on my exposed thigh, and I widened my legs, slowly pulling our entwined hands close to my hips. The course hair of his arm brushed against my smooth skin, and I let out a soft moan, wanting to feel his skin all over my body.

  Nathan’s hand was dangerously close to my panties as he shut off the car, and I pouted when he pulled away from me. I couldn’t move my legs, and found myself very comfortable in the plush leather seats. I was almost irritated when he opened my door and hauled me out of the car.

  “Come on Jay, I thought you could handle your liquor,” Nathan teased.

  “Hmm,” I murmured as I wrapped my arms around his waist, not only because I could hardly walk, but because I wanted my hands to roam across his torso, hoping to get a feel of the definition I knew was there. I tilted my head up, taking in the scent of his expensive cologne. I rarely got close enough to smell it because he dabbed it on his neck so little and rarely.

  Nathan grunted as he tried to pull me up the stairs. I licked my lips, my hand finding the front of his belt, slowly tugging at his shirt. “Nathan, are you sure you only like boys?” I murmured into his neck.

  “Positive,” he said quickly as we finally found our way to the front of the condo. He ignored my hand beginning to play with the button on his pants.

  I licked my lips again, then slowly peppered kisses along his neck. He stopped his movements of trying to find his keys while holding me upright. “Jay…”

  “What?” I whispered innocently, my lips finding the shell of his ear as I stood on my tiptoes, my hand wandering. I lost my footing though, and stumbled into him, letting out a giggle as he caught me.

  “My God, you’re wasted.” His arms were holding me upright, pinning me to his chest so I couldn’t move. “I need to get the keys out of my pocket so we can go inside and get you to bed,” he patronized.

  “Hmm, to bed. That sounds wonderful,” I purred.

  “No, no, no… to your own bed.”

  “Nathan…” I pouted, my lips mere inches from his.

  Even though my eyes were closed, I knew he was smiling at me. “Jamie, we both know what’s not going to happen.”

  I pouted my lips even more. “Just kiss me one more time.”

  Nathan laughed even harder, but I stood confident in his arms, my eyes still closed, lips still tingling. “All right, one kiss. But I’m warning you, it’s not going to change me.”

  Just as I parted my lips to protest, his hands found my cheeks, tilting my head upwards to meet his mouth. His movements were gentle, softly plucking my bottom lip between his. As quickly as my arms moved to wrap around his waste, the quicker Nathan moved his lips from mine, tenderly plucking them once
more before he spoke.

  “Got nothing. Sorry, sweetie.”

  My eyes sprung open as a frown spread across my face. Nathan smiled and winked at me, turning to open the door.

  “I don’t believe you,” I challenged.

  “Honey, you were pressed as close to my dick as possible with clothing on. Now tell me, did you ever feel him rise to the occasion?”

  I furrowed my brows as his cocky grin set in place

  “Oh come on!” I whined.

  Nathan laughed out loud as he unlocked the door. His arm locking around my waist as I stood there perplexed. “No, you come on. It’s time to go to bed.”

  With a strong grasp on my hip, Nathan led me inside. I shoved him away, nearly falling into the wall when he let go. Using the wall for support, I tugged my heels off in the most unladylike way possible. Nathan removed his shoes as though it were any other day.

  “You really didn’t feel anything?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Nope, not sexually. I know I got to you, though. I have that effect on men and women.”

  I huffed in annoyance as I sluggishly stood. “You wish!”

  Nathan laughed again, then swiftly picked me up, carrying me to my bedroom.

  I laid my head on his strong chest. “We could be together. It’d be the perfect marriage. We both care more about our work than anything else, so we’d just hang out on the off chance we weren’t working. I don’t think it’d be as complicated as a real marriage.”

  Nathan set me down by the foot of my bed. “Me fucking a man on the side might make things complicated.”

  He gently urged me to sit. “That wouldn’t be a good headline for the business. Nathan Conklin, guru of the business industry, caught cheating on his beloved wife with another man.”

  “Another man in an elevator would be a better headline. But only if it included a photo,” I added.

  We both laughed under our breaths. “You know that even in your wildest dreams a gay man wouldn’t be able to tame you.”

  I looked into his eyes, and he was right. My drunkenness faded slightly as our friendship solidified to an even higher place than it already was.

  “Maybe not, but he could make me feel safe,” I whispered, looking down into my lap. His thumbs caressed my cheeks as he studied me.

  “If you can’t kiss me or fuck me, can you at least hold your drunk best friend until she falls asleep?”

  Maybe the real reason I wanted intimacy with Nathan was because I thought it would take away a fraction of fear. My heart beat faster, wondering what measures Rod would take this time, and wondering how far he’d go to try and control me again.

  Nathan’s hands brushed my hair behind my ears. “Yeah, but don’t get used it.” His words were stern, but I knew he would always have my back just as I’d always have his.

  Chapter Four

  “Jamie, we’ll get there on time. Stop worrying,” Landon assured me as he sped through town in the beat up Toyota Corolla we shared. He had to drop me off at my internship before he had to be at his own job at the Country Club.

  “I can’t be late, Landon.”

  “You worry too much. Not like Dad’s going to fire you from your work study,” he scoffed while taking a left at the stop sign. Our father was the sheriff at the Canal Point Police Station where I’d been doing my work co-op. Dad didn’t like me working during the evening times when the cadets would bring in the low lifes, but money was tight for our large family. The little bit of money he could give me by working at the station made him feel better knowing we could buy the things that he and my mother couldn’t help purchase. Plus, the down time worked well for me to study.

  “That’s not the point. I don’t like to be late. Deputy Garreti likes to take his dinner break right at 5 pm every night.”

  “I’m sure he could wait a few minutes,” Landon teased.

  “I don’t want to disappoint anyone,” I sighed, hugging my bag tighter.

  Landon slapped his hand on my shoulder. “You need to loosen up, little sis.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not that much younger than you.”

  “Every minute counts in my book.”

  “Whatever, thanks for getting me here.” I darted out the door.

  The station was tiny, and only housed a handful of employees. I flew to my normal spot in the corner just in the knick of time. Deputy Garreti greeted me with a smile as I took my seat. “No need to rush, Jamie.”

  I smiled gratefully at him.

  “You still enjoying the experience?” Deputy Garreti asked as he shifted in his seat.

  “It’s been wonderful. I’m really learning a lot,” I lied. The truth was, I’d done this work study so I could sleep in an extra hour every morning by missing a class. I didn’t realize the added benefits of seeing the eye-catching cadets who’d come in to relieve the deputy. They made the job more interesting.

  “Well, the cadet should be in soon,” Deputy Garreti sighed while rubbing his belly. A soft growl came from his stomach. I turned my head so my hair would hide my face as I attempted to hold in my giggle.

  “Sorry I’m late.”

  My eyes darted toward the cadet, but quickly found their way back to the paperwork in front of me. I had to keep my cool. He’d never be interested in me if I acted like a typical whiny, dipshit seventeen-year-old girl.

  “No harm done. Keep Jamie company for me,” Deputy Garreti said as he slowly rose from his seat.

  “Always do.” I looked up from my paperwork and smiled at Rod. He winked at me as Garreti watched our innocent actions. Only if he knew how innocent Rod made me not want to be.

  The door to the back room closed as Rod sat down. We both watched as Garreti left, anxiously waiting to hear the sound of the lock click, leaving the two of us alone in this portion of the building.

  Rod slowly turned in his chair, his hands resting on either side of the armrests. The blond locks of hair fanned across his forehead in a disarrayed swoop, and the blue sparkle in his eyes were all too inviting.

  “We going to talk about what happened last week?” he asked with a devilish grin.

  My cheeks heated as I hid behind the caramel color of my hair. I remembered every second of our closeness the previous week. “What’s there to say?” Taking a deep breath, I purposely bit my lip, raising my eyes to meet Rods. “I don’t regret it.” My hand found the top button of my shirt, slyly releasing it.

  Rod tilted his head to the side. “Wouldn’t your father be disappointed?”

  As I turned in my chair, I purposely slid my thighs so the black skirt I wore hiked up closer to my hips so a good mid-thigh was showing. “I hardly think an innocent kiss would upset him,” I breathed, “but it’d be better if he didn’t know.”

  “I like secrets,” he murmured, as he dipped his head lower, leaning forward in his chair.

  “Who doesn’t?” I said seductively back, or at least I thought I was being seductive.

  “Go lock the door,” he commanded, his arms never budging from his armrests.

  On shaking legs I stood, trying to keep my stance semi wide so my skirt wouldn’t fall back into place as I walked by him. I grinned in triumph, noticing his eyes finding my bare thighs. I’d picked up some heels with my last paycheck and practiced walking in them the entire weekend so I wouldn’t trip and fall.

  Once I reached the door, I switched the lock, pulling on the handle to make sure it wouldn’t open. I stood there for a second, my hand finding my blouse again, undoing another button. Along with the heels, I’d had just enough for a push-up bra and matching sets of panties. Hiding the new bag from my mother was surprisingly easy when I had the beat up Toyota to keep it in.

  “Come here,” Rod demanded after I locked the door, crooking his finger toward me. I thought my insides were going to burst. This was actually happening. An older, hot as hell man wanted me. I was about to become a woman.

  I confidently walked toward him, even though my heart was practically beating out of my chest
. “What exactly do you want from me, Jamie?”

  I went to speak, but words didn’t come out. What if he didn’t want what I wanted? I didn’t know that much about sex, except for the little bit I saw on television and the internet.

  “What do you want?” I asked timidly, failing miserably at sounding sexy.

  He let out a slight laugh while shaking his head. His hands found my thighs, making my insides clench from his touch. “You’re not wearing any stockings. That would complete the ensemble.”

  “Okay.” My voice was soft. “Would you like me to get some?”

  Rod’s strong fingers slid their way up my thighs and under my skirt, hiking it up so the back of my cheeky underwear was exposed. “Stockings. Thursday.” His thumbs hooked in my lacy panties, and the forcefulness he used as he tore them down my legs was disarming.

  “Don’t you want to see how they look?” I asked as he urged for me to lift my legs.

  He smirked at me as he spun them with his finger. “I’ll look at them later. Take off your shirt.”

  I stared at him blankly, then quickly removed each button. His eyes followed my fingers as he twirled my underwear. My shirt dropped to the floor, leaving me in a hiked up skirt, push-up black lacy bra, and heels. According to books and the internet, it was every man’s fantasy.

  A low growl came from Rod. “If you don’t want me to fuck you, I suggest you leave this office.” His tone had no humor. “If you’re here to tease me, I won’t put up with it. I’m a man, Jamie. I don’t play games with teenage girls. Get on your knees.”

  The audible gasp I released didn’t go unnoticed by him. “Last chance, Jamie. Get on your knees, or walk out that door.”

  My eyes fluttered as I set my hands on his thighs, making myself comfortable on my knees before him.

  Rod nodded in approval. “It’s time for you to give me some more innocent kisses.”

  I lurched forward in my bed.

  The nightmares never took long to find me.

  My head pounded as I pressed my shaking hands to my forehead, noting the clammy feeling of my skin. The moment those letters were in my hands, my sleep dwindled. The alcohol from last night didn’t help. And unfortunately, I remembered everything.