Crashing In On Love

by Taylor Love

  “Honesty is what I always want from anyone in my life and in particular the woman in it. It’s okay, that’s why I wanted to talk this through.”

  Ben did allow himself to run his hand over his head in silent frustration. She was right, it wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it wasn’t altogether unexpected either.

  “I feel like this is moving fast. We’ve known each other barely over a month.”

  “That’s valid. But I’m not asking you to buy a puppy and move in with me, just for us both to recognize we’re in a relationship with the other.”

  “You want a dog?”

  “Actually, yeah. One day I do.” Ben grinned.

  Tamara shook her head and mumbled under her breath. “With our schedules how would we manage a dog?”

  “Ah! So you’ve thought about it! I’m sure we’d work something out.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it! And you’d work something out. You’re the one who wants the dog.” Tamara actually laughed. Damn him, she was trying to be serious.

  “Look we’re old enough to know when we have a real connection with someone or not. Like I told you before, I’ve mostly had short term flings in the last several years and even those have been far in-between.”

  “Because of your work.” She interjected.

  “Not completely. Don’t you know a man makes time for what he wants.”

  Tamara had to swallow hard at the direct and intense look he gave her.

  “I haven’t wanted more with someone in a very long time. I want more with you Tamara.”

  “I’m flattered but-”

  “You should be. I don’t take entering a relationship lightly. As you inferred it takes time and commitment. I don’t give either without giving it serious thought. We’ve been together long enough that I know I want to take the next step. I need to know if you feel the same. A connection strong enough with me to make it worth your time.”

  “I...” Tamara voice was suddenly dry. “I do feel a connection, a strong one, otherwise we wouldn't be together at all. But Ben, I wasn’t looking for a relationship.”

  “I wasn’t either. I was there on business, to maybe get a few hours of laying on the beach. But it looks like a relationship found us.”

  Tamara cracked a wry smile. “You have an answer for everything, huh?”

  “We’ll see. What other objections you got?” He said cockily.

  “Assuming I did want to take a chance on a smart aleck like you, there would still be this whole long distance thing.”

  “We’ve had this discussion before. We’ve been doing well so far. You’re busy, I’m busy. I didn’t take you for one of those women who wanted to be up under their man all day.”

  “I’m not!” Tamara was offended by the very thought. She let out a big huff, glancing at the TV for a moment before looking back at the bulldogged man next to her.

  “So you really want to do this?”

  “Yes, but not if you don’t. I want us on the same page. If you’re not ready...yet. Say so.”

  “I just want to warn you. I don’t think I’m particularly good at relationships.”

  At the look of vulnerability on her face, Ben wanted to pull her in close but stopped himself. He knew he could only push so far before she pushed back. Besides, he really did want her to be sure about this, so instead he encouraged her to talk.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Full disclosure?”

  “Always.” He smoothed his hand down her shoulder.

  “I’ve always been driven.”

  “You don’t say.” He cracked.

  “Hush and listen. I haven’t had a lot of full-fledged boyfriends.”

  “I can’t say I’m sad to hear that.” Ben’s grin grew wider.

  “The reason why, might concern you. I’ve been focused on school for so long. First college, then succeeding in law school. Next was passing the bar, then getting the practice up and running. I didn’t have time for men, and I’ll be frank I never felt compelled to make time.”

  “I feel like you’ve made time for us.” Ben pointed out.

  Tamara waved that comment away, trying to figure out the best way to explain.

  “I did date a little, but I’ve never been able to give enough focus for a real relationship to last or develop.”

  “I can understand that. I’m basically in the same boat. As I was getting my associates in business, I was also taking the pre-licensing courses. Then I had to pass the exam for my state. After that, I went right to work under a broker at twenty. I get it. Look, I’ve only brought one woman around my family ever...and I’m older than you.”

  “We’ll my number is zero for family meetings. So I still got you beat.” Tamara slipped her hand in his and squeezed. “Since we’re being honest I should probably add I didn’t feel for them what I feel for you though.”

  “So I’m ahead of the curve. I like that.”

  “Be serious Ben.”

  “I am serious. I like that I’m different for you. You’re definitely different for me.”

  “I just never seemed to be what those men wanted me to be. Like you said I’m not the doting female that is eager to be at her man’s beck and call. Those men never seemed to truly understand that I needed to study, or work.”

  “With all that was going on your focus seems warranted to me. There’re times in life where you have to grind hard. But from what you’ve told me, the practice is on solid footing now. Every relationship takes two Tamara. I hear you talking about their needs but what about yours? Were they giving you what you needed? What do you need in a relationship in your life right now?”

  Tamara had never really thought of it from that angle. Part of societal brainwashing she supposed. Women, even educated independent women, are taught to put a man's needs ahead of their own.

  “I guess now...I need a man for support and companionship. Not financially of course, but emotionally. You’re right. I’m in a comfortable place in life. I’ve had time to “breathe” this last year. I want someone I can relax with, have fun with and enjoy life. I think I’m ready to live life a little more. I do feel like I’ve spent the last fifteen years following one goal only. So, I want a man that understands I have work and long hours. But also gets that I’m...”

  Tamara hesitated before sharing the deeply personal thought. She glanced at his earnest face patiently waiting for her to continue. No one had ever asked these questions before, and while it made her uncomfortable she owed it to herself and him to be honest.

  “A man who also understands that I’m still a woman. That even though I can, and will if need be do it all. I appreciate when I don’t have to. Someone to talk to after I've had a rough day, and treats my issues, my dreams as important as their own.”

  Tamara’s face hardened. She didn't know how many times a date had been dismissive of her goals. Some dates outright told her she was taking on too much, trying to open a practice. Instead they said she should just stay with a firm. As long as she was making good money why add the stress of running a startup?

  Even when she explained that she wanted to be able to help those who looked like her, by giving legal access to those who had the most issues—they still thought she was doing too much. Money had never been her driving goal for what she did and never would be. There was a balance to being successful and doing good for the masses.

  “I want someone I feel good around when I’m with them. Outside of sex. I also don’t want anyone expecting me to be their mother. I don’t have time to baby a grown adult. I’m at a point where I want something deeper.”

  Ben could see that she wasn’t really used to talking about her feelings. His own past opportunities to do so had been limited also. He wanted to be more open with her, than he had been with women in his past. At this stage of life he was ready for more, ready for something real.

  “That all sounds normal to me.” Ben spoke up palming her face. “Some boys need babying. I’m a man. I’m looking for a full
grown woman with her own life, drive and goals. A person who’s smart, intelligent, funny and makes me feel good in and out of bed. Someone who when we do make time for each other, is in the moment with me. I’m looking for a partner not a parent. That’s what I’m looking for in my woman.”

  “That’s direct and promising to hear.”

  “Always.” He leaned forward and gave her a light kiss.

  Tamara bit his bottom lip. “I got to admit that list turned me on. I think I fit all the job qualifications listed.”

  “Does that mean you want the job?”

  “I do actually. Look at that, I got a new job and I wasn’t even looking.”

  Ben laughed, squeezing her tight. “Welcome aboard baby.”

  Chapter Eleven

  IT WAS THE FIRST FRIDAY in February and Tamara was running late, they all were. It had been a hectic week and a crazy Friday to top it off. She was supposed to meet Ben at her house by six-thirty, and it was already a quarter to six. Rushing out ahead of the girls, with taunts of “run off to meet your man” in her ear, she hightailed it to the car. Only to discover it wouldn’t start when she tried to leave. Tamara texted Ben so he would know what was keeping her, then ran back inside to see everyone else just putting on their coats.

  “What’s wrong?” Jessica asked concerned.

  “You won’t believe it, but my damn car won’t start.” Tamara was opening her contacts to the triple A number.

  “Crap, that does suck. I can drop you off, I’m closest to you.” Monique offered.

  “No.” She waved the suggestion away. “I’m calling a tow company now. I’d prefer not to leave it overnight.”

  Jessica plopped her purse down on Tia’s desk. “We’ll wait with you until they come.”

  “Ugh, I hate the automated system.” Tamara complained while pressing buttons trying to get to a live person. “You guys go home. You know this will probably take an hour or more.”

  “I said we’ll wait. We’re not leaving you alone here.” Jessica narrowed her eyes at everyone in the office.

  “No problem Mama Bear. I only had a bottle of wine and a bubble bath waiting for me at home.” Monique dropped down into one of the waiting area chairs.

  “Count me in.” Tia sighed sitting down at her desk. “I don’t even have that. I’m out of wine at the moment.”

  Tamara ignored them as a person finally picked up. She started giving them the address and the issue with her car. After a few more minutes she hung up before taking a seat herself.

  “It’s winter...a lot of cars have issues and it’s going to be an hour to an hour and a half.” She was looking at her phone texting the same info to Ben. “The rep said they’d try to get someone out sooner but no promises. Go home and have dinner and enjoy your weekend.”

  “No.” Jessica stood up and grabbed her purse. “But what I will do is go up the street to the Little Caesars and grab us a Hot-N-Ready so we can all eat. Come on Tia, ride with me. We can stop at that little grocery store nearby and solve your wine problem too.”

  “Free wine, I’m in.”

  Once the two left Monique took off her coat and Tamara unzipped hers.

  “Sorry this is messing up your weekend. Did you call Ben and let him know?”

  “Yeah, I texted him.” Tamara frowned. “Haven’t heard back, he may be driving. I feel bad he’s going to have to wait outside for so long.”

  “Get out! You haven’t given that man a key yet?”

  “No...I hadn’t thought about it.”

  “Well, start thinking about it. He’s officially been your man for over a month now. If he had his own key he wouldn’t have to be in the cold.”

  Monique stood up and stretched. “I’ll go grab us some cups and plates. I hope they get more than one bottle. Otherwise poor Tia still won’t have any wine at home.”

  Tamara sighed and let her head fall back with her eyes closed. Monique was right. Ben was coming from out of town and had been basically staying with her since they’d first slept together again. The man needed a key. But giving a key implied things, things that made her head hurt. Shaking it off she decided to tackle one problem at a time and right now that was her car. She had bought her Lexus as her graduation gift to herself. It was old but still ran great, and rarely gave her any problems. Plus, a new car note versus a paid off car was a waste of money, even though she had it to spend.

  When Tia and Jessica arrived back in under twenty minutes, the four ate and polished off the extra bottle of wine Jessica had been wise enough to bring. Which meant they got about one glass each, all they needed to wash down their impromptu dinner. Less than an hour after she’d walked back into the office, they were sitting around laughing and got the scare of their lives. Ben was suddenly standing outside the glass door.

  “Ben!” Tamara jumped up to let him in.

  Stepping inside he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Hey sorry it took me so long to get here, rush hour traffic.”

  “What are you doing here? I told you I called triple A.”

  “I know, but I wasn’t going to leave you waiting by yourself.” He finally let his attention wonder to the avid onlookers standing behind her. Giving them an easy smile.

  “Though I see I needn’t have worried on that score.”

  “No, they insisted on staying.”

  Ben walked forward. “I appreciate you ladies looking out for my lady. I’m Benjamin Thompson.”

  “No problem. We look out for our own and she was ours before she was yours. I’m Jessica Johnson.”

  Ben wasn’t fazed by the pointed response. “Duly noted. Nice to meet you.”

  “She is right here.” Tamara tried to interject, feeling her irritation skyrocket.

  They all ignored her.

  Ben turned his attention to the next woman. “And you must be Monique.”

  “Yes, Monique Jones. How did you know? Has Tamara been talking about me behind my back?”

  “I can’t recall.” Ben hedged. “But it was process of elimination seeing as I met the lovely Tia before.”

  He aimed a charming smile the younger woman's way.

  “Nice to see you again.” Tia greeted him.

  He nodded before turning back to Tamara. “I’m no expert but let me take a quick look at the car.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I know.” He said plainly and just waited.

  Tamara shook her head and grabbed her coat and bag. “Okay come on, maybe you’ve got some magic I don’t have.”

  “Mmm hmm, he probably does.” Monique mumbled looking him up and down, until Jessica elbowed her.

  THE THREE WOMEN FOLLOWED the couple downstairs. They all stood to the side shivering as Ben tried to start the car to no avail. Popping the hood, he got out and opened it, shining the glow of his keychain penlight over the engine. Testing wires and hoses here and there. He even squatted down to look under the car to see if she was noticeably losing fluids. Finally, he stood up wiping off his gloves with a napkin Tamara passed him.

  “I’m going to try giving it a boost. Maybe you left a light on or something and it drained the battery.”

  “I don’t think I did, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” Tamara said, and Ben walked over to his car to get his cables out the trunk and pop his hood.

  “Ohhh, I like him Tamara. A man that takes action and tries to problem solve!” Monique gushed as soon as he was out of hearing range.

  “Give it a rest, this isn’t funny.”

  “Who's laughing? Remember that date I had last year? When the guy got a flat tire and acted like he was about to have a panic attack.”

  The others chuckled, but Tamara was still trying to wrap her head around Ben showing up. As he came back she pushed her blowing hair back inside her hood.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think to try with one of the girls.”

  “No worries, this might not be the answer anyway.” Ben soothed.

  “Yeah, but I should have been think
ing better. So you wouldn’t have to come out just to do something so basic.”

  Hearing the self-reproach in her voice he squeezed her shoulders and looked at her directly.

  “Baby it’s okay. It’s no problem for me to help you.” He handed the keys back. “Here, give it a good ten seconds before you try to start it after I turn my car on. It’s been sitting out here all day.”

  Ben pretended not to notice the sighs all the ladies issued as he turned and hooked up her battery, before going and doing the same to his car. Starting his car he hoped the fix would be this simple. She waited like he’d told her, giving his car plenty of time to transfer juice to hers before trying the engine.

  Nothing.

  Ben turned off his car and disconnected the cables then took the few steps to do the same at hers.

  “Damn, I was hoping for a simple fix. Your battery is most likely dead. I didn’t hear any clicks like it was your starter.”

  “It’s the battery.” Jessica spoke up. “I just remembered. Tamara before you went on vacation, you said your mechanic warned you it wasn’t going to last another winter.”

  Tamara hit her forehead “Oh my god, he did and I told him I’d get it replaced when I got back. Damnit! Then I totally forgot since it was running fine.”

  “It’s not a big deal.” Ben quickly reassured her. “We can run by AutoZone tomorrow when it’s light and pick one up. Your battery is accessible so I should be able to replace it easily. Why don’t you lock up and we can all get out of here.”

  “But the tow truck might be here any minute.” Tamara protested.

  “Or it could be another half an hour. I’m sure everyone is tired of waiting, in this cold. Just call them back and cancel it.” Ben countered, before turning to the other women still waiting. “Can I offer you ladies some dinner on me, as a thank you?”

  “No.” Tamara snapped out as she was dialing up the customer service number. When she turned and saw all the women looking at her like she was crazy, with Ben looking at her in confusion, she tried to tone it down and barely succeeded.