The Three-Minute Universe

by Barbara Paul

  Misterma'am twitched at Kirk's blast. "I'll compute it now, Captain."

  "You do that."

  Babe yielded the command chair to Kirk. "Captain, you just now referred to your own ship as an enemy vessel."

  And it hurt. "On this bridge, the Enterprise is the enemy."

  "You do not expect me to believe you have changed allegiance, do you?"

  "Of course not. What I want right now is to get that baryon reverter back to what used to be the Beta Castelli system, and if the only way to accomplish that is to teach you to fly this ship—then I'll teach you to fly this ship. But I'm not on your side, Babe, and I never will be. You people are murderers."

  The word fell like a bomb on the bridge. All talk ceased, and the Sackers stared at Kirk. Then Babe chanted in a singsong, "Killing will sometimes be necessary. It must be done neatly and quickly, remembering always that we are merely removing obstacles from our path."

  Kirk turned his head and looked at her. "That sounded memorized, Babe."

  "It is part of the Plan."

  "What plan?"

  But Babe would say no more. Kirk hesitated but then dropped it; this wasn't the time.

  "Kepten."

  "Yes, Chekov."

  "Permission to go to the head."

  "Granted." Kirk watched Chekov leave his seat and walk along the upper level toward the head. As he passed the damage control console, the young navigator took a look at the escape chute underneath—a large circular opening with a grab bar above it. Chekov was a little too obvious about it; Kirk would have td warn him to be more circumspect.

  A black Sacker was now seated in the navigator's chair. "You, there!" Kirk said. "Navigator!"

  The black Sacker turned. "Sir?"

  "Have you been named?"

  "Yes, sir!" the Sacker said proudly. "Ivan is my name."

  As in Ivan the Terrible? Kirk thought. "That's a well-known name on Earth," he said, and coughed. He looked at the other black Sacker standing beside Ivan. "And you?"

  "I, sir, am named Rasputin!"

  Well, I've been warned, Kirk thought wryly. There was only one other navigation trainee, an orange Sacker who hung back from the other two. "And you?" he asked.

  The orange Sacker's head drooped forward. She did not answer.

  "The Chekov has not yet seen fit to give that one a name," Ivan explained.

  Kirk noticed the other Sackers turned their heads away, as if embarrassed. He made no comment but turned his attention back to the seated Sacker. "Well, Ivan, you're the one in the navigator's seat. What are you doing?"

  "Sir, I am instructed to keep this seat warm until the Chekov returns."

  "I see. Carry on." Kirk decided it would seem logical to continue questioning the Sacker apprentices. "You three—communications. Report."

  "Sir," the one that must have been named Rose said, "we are learning the—"

  "Report here," Kirk interrupted, pointing to the side of his command chair. "Babe, here's a chance to check up on your crew. Question them, find out how much they know."

  The three Sackers made their way to the command chair, leaving Uhura alone at the communications station. Babe stood on the other side of Kirk and started her questioning. She showed a knowledge of communications that surprised him, and Kirk warned himself not to take her lightly simply because she was a youngster. It didn't take Babe long to find out that Iris was lagging far behind the other two, and she gave him a dressing-down that made even Kirk's ears curl. She sounds just like me, he thought wonderingly.

  Kirk peered between Jon and Rose and saw Uhura nod at him. The interior visuals shield was down! He waited until Babe finished chewing out Iris, and then ordered the three trainees to return to their stations.

  Spock was watching; Spock was listening.

  Kirk sat quietly for a few minutes, getting his thoughts in order.

  Everyone on the bridge of the Enterprise except Mr. Spock was making a face. About half of them were saying "Ugh!"—or some slight variation thereof. A couple of the more sensitive souls among them had lowered their eyes; the sight of Sackers even on a screen wasn't easy to take.

  The main viewscreen showed Captain James T. Kirk firmly ensconced in the Sacker command chair. To his left stood a flaming red Sacker, while a duller brown one was on his right. The captain was wearing a shaded helmet of some sort and rather strange-looking clothing, while the two Sackers were garbed in cloaks that failed to conceal their bodies completely. Their heads were bare, and repulsive; both Sackers were wearing something over the bottom halves of their faces.

  "Wide view, Mr. Wittering," Spock said.

  The three figures on the screen shrank as the picture widened to show more of the bridge. "There's Uhura!" someone cried. As they watched, the black Sacker seated in the navigator's chair got up to let Ensign Chekov take his place.

  "That's three of them," said Dr. McCoy.

  Kirk-on-the-screen stood up.

  "In close," Spock ordered.

  Captain Kirk's head and shoulders filled the screen. "Commander Babe—I think we're going to have to get Chief Engineer Scott up here on the bridge."

  "And that's four!" McCoy cried happily.

  There was a brief outbreak of cheering. Sulu said, "What did he call the commander? It sounded like 'Babe'."

  "Babe, Sweetie Pie, Sugar Plum—what's the difference!" McCoy laughed. "They're alive!"

  "The captain definitely said 'Babe'," Spock remarked. "A feminine nickname, I believe."

  "Doesn't that beat all!" McCoy said. "We should have known he'd end up sitting in the command chair! Their command chair!"

  "Doctor, please be quiet," Spock said quickly.

  Captain Kirk was speaking. "Babe, we'll need to try some more complicated maneuvers later. You're almost ready for them, but not yet. We mustn't attempt anything too soon. If we rush it, you'll end up looking like a bunch of kids. You're all learning very quickly, but wait for my signal before you try too much. Everything in its time. The tricky stuff will come later." He took a deep breath—and lifted off his helmet just long enough to rub his first two fingers against his cheek, the other two held together but apart from the first. The only time in history the Vulcan peace sign had been used to scratch an itch.

  "Return to wide view, Mr. Wittering," Spock ordered.

  Helmet back in place, Kirk said, "So for that reason we're going to put off battle maneuvers until we learn how to prepare for battle first. Babe, I saw this ship go from cruise mode to battle mode once, when you moved to put the planet Holox between yourselves and the Enterprise. The transition was impressive to watch, but it seemed to take forever. I think you can do better than that."

  The red Sacker on the screen spoke. "Much of the transition is automated, Captain."

  "Understood. Let's work on the parts that aren't. Take the conn, Babe. Blue—look sharp!"

  The Enterprise bridge crew watched as the red Sacker sat in the command chair and started giving orders. Captain Kirk stood next to her, ready to make suggestions when needed.

  "How can he stand being so close to them?" Sulu shuddered. "And that red one—that's 'Babe'?"

  "Evidently," Spock said. "They do accept names given to them by outsiders."

  The communications officer said, "Do I call Lieutenant Berengaria, Mr. Spock?"

  "There is no need for security, Mr. Wittering."

  The young man looked puzzled. "But … but didn't you say if we knew where on the ship Captain Kirk was, we could probe for a weak spot in their shielding and—"

  "Relax, Lieutenant," McCoy smiled. "Even I got that message. Captain Kirk just told us to wait."

  "He did?"

  "Play the tape back," Spock ordered. They all listened to Kirk's speech again, with its emphasis on later and not yet. "He has told us something else as well," Spock remarked. "The Sacker ship is being operated by young people who do not know their jobs. Something has happened to the Sackers, something disastrous."

  "Good," Sulu muttered.
r />   "This means Captain Kirk's command of their ship is only temporary, until the Sacker commander is ready to take over—Commander Babe, that is. When the captain signals, we must be ready to move immediately."

  "Spock, how about sending a new message to the Sackers?" McCoy suggested. "One that would let Jim know we got his message. You could address this Babe by name—that would let him know he got through."

  "Unfortunately, it would also inform the Sackers that their visuals shield is down," Spock answered. "Obviously the captain—or more likely Lieutenant Uhura—has lowered the shield without the Sackers' knowing. The minute they find out, we will lose visual contact."

  "Mm, that's right," McCoy conceded. "Dammit! There must be some way we can let him know."

  "There just might be a way," Spock replied thoughtfully. "In the early days of aviation, there was a maneuver known as the Immelmann turn. It involved, as I recall, making a half-roll in the middle of a loop. Such a maneuver is of no use to a starship, naturally, but—"

  "But if the Enterprise did one, Jim would understand we were receiving him!" McCoy interrupted elatedly. "What a great idea, Spock!" Then doubt appeared on his face. "He would understand, wouldn't he?"

  "I have every faith in the captain's ability to interpret the significance of the Enterprise's performing such an unquestionably useless maneuver. Have you been listening, Mr. Sulu?"

  "With both ears, Mr. Spock," Sulu grinned. "I've always wanted to try an Immelmann."

  "Then here is your chance. As Captain Kirk would say, let 'er rip."

  Mr. Sulu let 'er rip.

  * * *

  They were enemy engines, but Scotty had to respect good engineering wherever he met it. It wasn't a Sacker design anyway; a group of now-dead Zirgosian geniuses had built these engines, and Scotty gave them a silent salute as he prepared to leave for the bridge.

  Yesterday Captain Kirk had said he wanted Scotty to be able to control the power feed to the thrusters from the bridge. That way the helm would respond quickly when the captain wanted it to, and sluggishly all other times. Scotty could see the advantage; they were involved in a game of cat and mouse with the Sackers, and the response time of the helm was one of the captain's best weapons. So Scotty had spent eleven hours sabotaging his own sabotage, redirecting control of the feed to an auxiliary board on the bridge.

  One more quick tour to make sure everything was in order. Scotty was confident that Mr. Green could handle the day-to-day operation of the engines without too much trouble, but any serious emergency would be beyond him; he was green in more than just his sac fluid. When Captain Kirk had told him these Sackers were just kids, Scotty had been shocked. Bairns canna fly starships! he'd protested.

  But they were flying this starship, and they were doing a fairly good job of it, considering. Scotty began to feel a new respect for Mr. Green. He's a boy, he kept reminding himself, only a boy. A boy doing a man's job. And a boy who looked to Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott of the U.S.S. Enterprise for guidance in his rite of passage. Scotty stopped and looked at the "plasmicophic ferangulator", still clicking and whirring away. He felt a stab of guilt.

  He shook off the feeling and headed down the companionway to the lower deck of the engine room. Mr. Green was waiting for him. "Ah, laddie, it's all yours now," Scotty said. "Today is graduation day. It's a great responsibility ye'll be takin' on."

  "No one is more aware of that than I, sir. My greatest hope is that I will not disappoint you."

  Scotty paused a moment and then said: "Y'won't disappoint me. An' y'won't disappoint yourself, either. Y'are a good lad, Mr. Green. Bright an' industrious an' eager to learn. I have complete confidence in your ability to do the job."

  The Sacker's body shook a couple of times and his head drooped forward. "Oh, thank you, sir—thank you! I was so worried you were not pleased! I cannot tell you how grateful I am for those gracious words."

  "Here, now, none o' that," Scotty said gruffly. "Y'are in charge here now. Hold yourself proud!"

  Mr. Green's body stopped shaking and he raised his head; Scotty thought he did indeed look proud. "I have something I want the Scott to hear before you go," the Sacker said. "Please attend."

  "Go ahead."

  The Sacker switched off his translator and said something in his own language.

  Scotty shrugged. "I canna understand."

  "Can ye understand me now, laddie?"

  Scotty's eyes bulged. "Was that you? You, an' not the translator?"

  "Aye! I am learnin' by listenin' you. I dinna have no another teacher."

  "Why, Mr. Green!" Scotty threw back his head and let out a roar of laughter. "'Tis wonderful, that's what 'tis! English! Y'are speakin' English!"

  "Are ye pleased?"

  "Oh, laddie, I'm more than pleased! I am delighted! Y'couldna have given me a nicer goin'-away present. I do thank ye."

  "No, sir, 'tis me who owes the thankin'. Ye'll always be me teacher."

  They parted on better terms than ever before enjoyed in the troubled history of Sacker-human relationships.

  Captain Kirk had a reason for wanting Scotty on the bridge other than to fiddle with the power feed to the helm. Kirk had not much liked the idea of his chief engineer being alone in the engine room with the Sackers. True, Scotty did seem comfortable enough with his Mr. Green; but Kirk felt better having all his people where he could keep an eye on them. Now Scotty was seated at a console off to one side of him, Uhura was to the other, and Chekov in front of him. Besides, he didn't want Scotty anywhere near the engine room if he could bring off what he was planning.

  "Run it again," he ordered.

  For the past two days he'd been forcing the bridge crew to watch the tape of the Immelmann turn the Enterprise had surprisingly executed. Kirk had had to swallow a laugh when he saw the starship indulging in a loop designed for the early monoplane. But he got the message. Thanks for letting me know, Mr. Spock.

  "This Immelmann," Toots said, "is it a frequently used maneuver?"

  "Oh yes," Kirk said. "It's the best way of evading enemy fire and returning to your original position quickly. Unfortunately, it's rather tricky to execute. But see how smoothly the Enterprise makes that half-roll? That takes experience. I don't know another helmsman in the fleet who can do the Immelmann as well as Mr. Sulu."

  Blue twitched.

  "But … but no one was firing on them," Babe said, clearly puzzled. "Why did they do it at all?"

  "Practice maneuver," Kirk said shortly. "We need to do a few of those ourselves. Battle mode, please." He lifted the forefinger of his left hand, his signal to Scotty that the helm was to receive full power.

  The ship made the transition from its rectangular cruising shape to the multibranched ovoid shape that was its battle mode, and it made the change swiftly and smoothly. The helmsman's primary job during the transition was to hold the ship steady—and steady it was, like a rock.

  "Good, Blue, good!" Kirk said with fake enthusiasm. "You may develop a touch for the helm yet."

  The Sacker jiggled with pleasure. "Thank you, sir!"

  "Babe, come here. You too, Brownie." When they were both in close, Kirk said, "This ship has the capability of assuming more than these two shapes, rectangular and ovoid. The schematics show its best battle mode would be a starburst, with the various sections radiating out from a central point—the ship would be hardest to fire upon in that mode. It would be like trying to hit one spine on a cactus. Have you ever taken the ship into starburst mode?"

  "No, Captain, no one ever has," Babe said. "Starburst puts the biggest drain on the engines of all the ship's modes, so it was decided not to use it unless absolutely necessary."

  "So the prior commander didn't execute shakedown maneuvers?"

  "No, sir. Even before the accident that killed our command personnel, there'd been no need."

  Kirk raised his voice. "Misterma'am!"

  "Sir?" answered the science officer.

  "Status of the Enterprise."

  "
Still tracking, and within firing range of us."

  Kirk looked at the Sacker commander. "Do you think there is no need now?"

  "I take your point, Captain. You wish shakedown maneuvers for starburst mode?"

  "With your permission."

  "Granted."

  Kirk called for the ship's schematics to be projected on the main screen, trying to still the flutter of excitement in his stomach. He would be the first man in history to execute this maneuver. "Electromagnetic shields down," he ordered, giving Scotty the signal for full power.

  Step by step he took his kid Sackers through the complicated procedure of converting to starburst mode. Kirk half wished he could have been on the Enterprise to see it; it must have been an impressive sight. Well, he could watch the tape later. If there was a later.

  He answered all of Babe's questions, and Brownie even asked one or two. When the procedure was complete, Kirk made a point of congratulating everyone who had participated—except Blue. He didn't criticize the helmsman's performance; he simply didn't mention him. Blue twitched.

  "Captain, incoming message," Uhura said. "Visual only."

  "On the screen."

  A message in the Sacker language appeared on the viewscreen, and the minute the Sackers had had time to read it, a buzz of excitement ran through the bridge. A few of the Sackers were jiggling with pleasure.

  "What is it?" Kirk asked. "What does it say?"

  No one answered him. Babe and Brownie were consulting, their heads waggling in agreement. Among the jiggling Sackers were Ivan and Rasputin, one of whom carelessly waved a hand … and hit Chekov on the shoulder.

  Chekov's scream put an end to the Sackers' excitement. He fell to the deck, his shoulder smoking. Kirk, Uhura, and Scotty rushed to him, only to find he'd passed out from the pain.

  "Medteam to the bridge," Rose said at the communications station. "Human burn—emergency."

  Scotty said, "Canna we do something 'til they get here? Are there nae first aid supplies on this bridge?"

  "Not for humans," Babe said. "The medteam will be here shortly."

  The medteam when it arrived consisted of two Sackers wearing heavy mitts and pulling an antigrav gurney. One of them sprayed something on Chekov's shoulder.