Reflect Me

by K. B. Webb

  I watched her sleep for a few minutes. She looked so peaceful. So beautiful.

  I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to fix myself some coffee. That’s when I heard the rain. Rain meant no work. I breathed a sigh of relief. After fixing my coffee, I walked in the living room and turned on the Weather Channel. It was supposed to rain all day, so I texted my crew and let them know there would be no work today. I knew none of them would be disappointed. We had been working hard and even though the day before we had gotten off a few hours early, it had been at least a month since we had a full day off due to weather. Most of my crew had kids, so I knew they would all jump at the chance to spend some time with them. And the ones who didn’t have kids, partied hard. Those guys would jump at the chance to sleep all day.

  I thought about going back to bed with Molly, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, so I decided to sit under the carport and drink my coffee while listening to the rain.

  I started thinking about everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. All of Lizzy’s drama had brought Molly and me together. It had given us both the balls we needed to admit what was between us. Lizzy had always been one to start drama that was why she showed up at my house in the first place. She would be royally pissed if she knew her drama had made Molly and me stronger.

  Then there was the Colt situation. I knew who Colt Davis was. He was a kickass ballplayer in high school and in college. I also knew he was a party boy. I had seen him at many parties with many different girls, but never once with Molly. I knew she thought I would judge her because of her and Colt’s situation. I couldn’t say that the cheating didn’t disappoint me and surprise me, but it didn’t change my feelings about her. She was right; they were both young, and while that didn’t make their actions okay, it made it more tolerable. That wasn’t the Molly I knew, that Molly was young and selfish. My Molly was a loving mother, an amazing friend, and the kind of girl who would do anything for anyone. That was my Molly. Not the girl she described the night before.

  The only part of the Colt story that actually bothered me was the blame Molly put on herself. It wasn’t her fault that she had lost Colt and her baby. I know my mom had two miscarriages between giving birth to Logan and having me. It unfortunately was part of nature, and there was nothing Molly could have done to change the outcome. But, Molly was stubborn and hardheaded. I was sure that Wynee had spent hours trying to convince her of that, but she wouldn’t believe anyone. Molly had a need to punish herself for things that were out of her control.

  I wished I could get it through Molly’s head that Colt’s death was not her fault. I hated to talk negatively about the dead, but Colt was drunk, he shouldn’t have been driving in the condition he was in. Add on top of that, the fact he was overly emotional and the poor weather conditions, and it was just a set up for disaster. It was a tragedy that Colt lost his life that night. He was too young. He had such a promising future in front of him, and he lost it all due to a bad decision. However, that decision was not Molly’s; it was Colt’s.

  I wondered how Colt’s death affected his brother, Ryan. I couldn’t begin to imagine the pain that he felt. Losing Lucas would break me completely. I wondered if Ryan blamed himself the way Molly blamed herself. I wondered if she had spoken to him any since that night. He seemed like the only person who could really understand Molly’s pain.

  The only good thing that came out of my conversation with Molly last night was when she told me that she loved me. God. I wanted to kiss her and tell her that I loved her too. That I was pretty positive I had been in love with her since the day I had laid eyes on her. But, she hadn’t wanted to hear it last night. She needed to tell her story, and I needed to give her time. I had every intention of telling her I loved her though, because I did. Nothing she had told me last night had changed my mind about her. Nothing she could do would change my mind about her. I loved everything about Molly. I didn’t just want her good times, I wanted her bad times, her hard times. I wanted everything including her past. I had never been perfect and I sure as hell had a past of my own, and Molly never ran from me because of it, so I had no plans of running from her either.

  I had no idea how long I had been sitting outside lost in thought when I heard the screen door swing open. Molly stood there still wearing the work clothes she had fallen asleep in, looking disoriented. She turned her head to the right and saw me sitting in the chair she sat in when she smoked. Relief flooded her features when she saw me.

  “Hey, I … I thought you left.” She spoke with sadness in her voice. Shit. I didn’t even think about how she would feel if she woke up without me in bed with her. She was so certain that I was going to leave her after what she had told me.

  I stood and walked to her and wrapped my arms around her. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere, Cookie. I just didn’t want to wake you. You had a hard night last night.”

  She nodded into my chest and took a few deep breaths before pulling back and looking at me. She looked like she was studying every feature of my face, as if she was memorizing me. “Why don’t you come inside and I’ll cook some breakfast?” She looked around me at the rain steadily coming down. “You’re not working, right?” I shook my head at her and she smiled before taking my hand and pulling me into the house.

  Molly began getting things ready to cook pancakes and fry bacon. We fell into a comfortable silence as she worked in the kitchen and I sat at the table. I offered to help but she declined. As soon as she took the last pancake out of the pan, Lyric cried. She told me to make a plate as she walked towards Lyric’s room.

  There was an awkward tension between us, and I had to think of something to break it. Something to convince her that I meant what I said, I wasn’t going anywhere. All of a sudden, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. My mother! Molly had heard Lucas and I tell many stories about my mom, but she had never actually met her. I wasn’t trying to keep Molly and my mom apart; I was just trying to make sure things were really serious before we took that step. I was looking out for my mother more than Molly. I knew she would fall in love with Molly and Lyric, and I hated that things might not work out between us and she would be let down.

  Molly walked back out into the kitchen holding a smiling Lyric in her arms. I swear that kid was always happy. I took Lyric from Molly’s arms and sat her on my lap while Molly warmed up a bottle.

  “Hey, Cookie, do you and my little buddy have any plans for the day?” She stopped what she was doing and looked at me shaking her head, giving me a look that read confusion.

  “How would y’all like to ride out to my mom’s house and meet her?” I was praying she didn’t say no.

  “You want us to meet your mom?” She was smiling from ear to ear.

  “Of course I do. I’m off work, so why don’t we go meet her. She would love to meet y’all and I’m sure she would fix lunch. She’s an awesome cook.”

  Molly happily agreed and started questioning me about my mom and what she should wear. I told her that my mom would love her no matter what she wore, and that was the truth. While Molly got ready, I texted mom and told her that we were coming over. She was cstatic that she was getting to meet Molly since she had heard me talking about her for months.

  While Molly was in the shower and Lyric was in her swing, I decided to take another look at the box of pictures she had pulled out. There was one in particular that I wanted to find. I stared at it for a while once I located it. It was Molly playing a guitar, and from the look of the way she was holding it and her hand placement, she wasn’t a beginner. I had asked Molly once if she played and she said no. Why would she lie about playing guitar? That just didn’t make sense.

  I heard the water shut off and I quickly put everything back inside the box. The last thing Molly needed right now were visual reminders of the previous night’s emotions.

  She walked in, a towel around her body and another one around her head. God, she was gorgeous. We hadn’t had sex yet, but I think at thi
s point we were both more than ready. It was just finding the time. She worked at night, I worked during the day, and on the weekends we both spent every bit of time we had with Lyric.

  She began to pull different things out of her closet, asking my opinion on different outfit choices before she finally settled on shorts and some frilly shirt. I didn’t know jack shit about girl’s style. I figured as long as she didn’t show up naked, we would be okay.

  She had dressed Lyric in the cutest dress any little girl had ever worn and put a large pink bow on her head. Lyric obviously didn’t agree with the bow, but she was so damn cute in it. Molly was standing in front of her mirror putting makeup on when I decided to bite the bullet and ask the question that I knew would plague my thoughts if I didn’t.

  “Hey, Cookie, why didn’t you tell me you used to play guitar?”

  She stopped moving and stood still for a few seconds holding eye contact with me in the mirror. “I don’t play anymore. Colt’s the one who taught me how to play, and once he was gone, I kind of lost my reason to.” I just nodded and didn’t ask any more questions.

  After another 20 minutes of Molly primping, even though she already looked perfect, we were in the car and headed to my mother’s house. I was filled with nervous excitement. I knew my mom was going to love Molly and I knew Molly was going to love my mom, but it was still nerve wracking bringing a girl home for the first time.

  Logan’s mother, Dolly, was everything I expected her to be. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and quite possibly the sweetest woman I had ever met. She welcomed Lyric and me into her home with open and arms and treated us like we were family.

  Once we arrived at her adorable two-story house, she insisted on cooking us lunch, and after Logan had bragged about her cooking skills, I didn’t argue. He was right; she was a kick ass cook. She made grilled chicken with mashed potatoes, green beans, and corn bread. I thought I had died and gone to heaven when I bit into the delicious food she had prepared.

  She asked me the usual questions, where I worked, what my major was, where I saw myself in five years, but I noticed she stayed away from any family related questions. I assumed Logan had told her about my situation. She held Lyric most of the day and loved on her like she was her own granddaughter. Besides Wynee’s mom, Lyric didn’t really have any grandparents; Brian’s parents lived in Florida and had never even met her, so seeing Dolly shower her with attention warmed my heart. We spent about two hours there before Logan announced that we had another errand to run before he took me home to get ready for work. I wasn’t really sure what the hell he was talking about, but I didn’t say anything about it in front of his mom.

  Dolly sent me home with a Tupperware jar full of cookies and made my promise to come back in a week, even if Logan was working. I of course agreed. There was something about that woman that made me want to spend time with her. I wasn’t sure if it was her sense of humor, her obvious love and devotion for her son, or the strong motherly connection I felt with her, but I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could.

  She gave me a huge hug as we were leaving and whispered in my ear that she was happy her son had found the one. I didn’t really know how to take that. I loved Logan. I knew I loved Logan. And yes, I had thought about having a future with him. But as far as him being the one, that was kind of scary. Marriage wasn’t something that I had ever planned on happening for me. It just wasn’t in my life plan.

  Dolly gave Logan a hug too and told him to tell Lucas to come around more often. She kissed Lyric at least ten times and blew a raspberry on her belly before she handed her to Logan to place in the car.

  All in all, the visit with Dolly was great. She was an amazing woman. I knew from stories Logan had told me that his dad had left when he was young, but Dolly had obviously done a great job raising her sons without a father figure because they were both amazing, respectful men.

  “I heard what she said to you.” Logan was holding my hand and driving. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going. He just kept saying it was a surprise. “How do you feel about marriage, Cookie? Not that I’m asking you or anything, just wondering.” He was nervous. I was nervous too.

  “Well, I think marriage is great, but I’m not sure if it’s something I want. I think that I could spend the rest of my life with someone and be happy without a piece of paper. How do you feel about marriage?”

  “After Lizzy and I broke up, I never really thought I would want to get married but, maybe I could change my mind one day. We’ll just have to wait and see.” I nodded, not sure what to say next.

  I was lost in my own thoughts and not paying attention to where Logan was driving till I felt him put my car in park. The sign read Humane Society Adoption Center. I saw kennels everywhere full of different size dogs. Without thinking, I got out of the car and began walking around. There were big dogs, small dogs, older dogs, puppies, every size, shape, and color you could think of. I heard car doors close and felt Logan standing behind me.

  “What are we doing here, Logan?”

  “Well, if I remember correctly, someone has never had a dog. And, if I also remember correctly, that same someone told me she would want a shelter dog. So Cookie, that’s why we’re here, to finally make you a dog owner.”

  All I could do was smile. My wonderful man. He continued to surprise me in every way possible. He was so thoughtful.

  A short woman walked out of the office and asked us if we were looking for any kind of dog in particular. At first, Logan said we were looking for a puppy, but I disagreed. I told her I wanted a dog that was a little older. A smaller-size dog that would be great with kids and could be an inside dog. She started showing us around and pointing out different kennels with different dogs in them. All of the dogs were adorable, but there was one that stood out from the rest. He was in need of a haircut, but he was so damn adorable. He looked like some kind of terrier and had a white coat with spots of black and tan on him. He was lying on a dog bed but perked up when he heard us coming. I knelt down in front of the cage and he came running. This little dog was the one.

  “This one. I want this one.” Logan was holding Lyric and smiling at me. Logan was the kind of guy who was happy when he made me happy, and he could tell that right now I was ecstatic.

  After we filled out all the paperwork and Logan paid the adoption fee, we had our new little buddy loaded up in the front seat with me. Logan stopped and got him a big bag of dog food, bowls, toys, and a new collar before we made it home. I just kept petting the sweet little dog in my lap and thinking about how lucky I really was.

  The previous night, I was certain that I was going to lose Logan, but I was so very wrong. Instead, he had introduced me to his mother and adopted a dog with me. He was trying to show me that he was committed, and I believed him.

  “So, Cookie, what should we would name him?” I looked at the sweet face that rested on my knee. He was older, about five, but still had tons of energy and was instantly great with Lyric. He just wanted to lick all over her and didn’t seem to mind that she liked to pull his ears.

  “Can we name him Scottie?” I smiled at Logan.

  “Scottie. I like it. It fits him.”

  On our ride home, I texted Wynee and told her about Scottie; she was waiting for us when we pulled up. I laid Lyric down for a nap and spent a few hours loving on my new dog and my sweet boyfriend before I had to start getting ready for work. I also told Wynee that I had finally told Logan about Colt. She seemed relieved and proud all at the same time. I felt like I finally had it all together. Great man, amazing daughter, kick ass best friends, and sweet new dog. The only thing I was really missing was Ryan. My big brother. I got occasional letters from him and two phone calls over the years. He had spent most of the last four years in Iraq. He volunteered to deploy as often as he could. The last letter I had received from him was over three months ago. I prayed every night that he was okay and safe, and that one day, he would come home.

  While Molly was getting ready fo
r work, I played with Lyric and Scottie. He really was a great dog. Calm but still puppy-like in some ways, and he tolerated Lyric’s roughness.

  Molly’s cell phone rang and she yelled from her room for me to get it. The caller ID read unknown. I considered just letting it go to voice mail, but something told me to answer it.

  I said hello as soon as I answered and was met with deep breathing. I sat listening for a few moments before I started to speak again.

  “I said hello.” I had no patience for prank callers today or any day for that matter.

  “Logan. Why am I not surprised!” I knew that voice. It was Brian.

  “Why the fuck are you calling Molly, Brian? I think she was pretty clear that she wanted you to leave her the fuck alone.”

  He actually had the balls to laugh at me.

  “Just tell Molly one thing for me, old buddy.” There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Tell her that this isn’t over. She’s mine. She will always be mine. She may have thought that she got rid of me, but she’s wrong. So wrong. I’ll be seeing both of y’all very soon.” With that last sentence, he hung up. Shit. I knew I would fucking kill him if he tried to get close to Molly or Lyric. He may have thought Molly was his, but he was wrong. Molly was mine, and in many ways, Lyric was mine too. And I protected what was mine.

  “Who was that?” Molly stood at the doorway to the living room putting on earrings. I thought about telling her for a moment. She had a right to know he was calling, but I changed my mind. She would just worry, and she didn’t need anything else to worry about. Brian knew better than to come back around here. He was just trying to scare her, and scare me away from her.

  “Nobody. Just a wrong number.” She didn’t question my answer, just walked over, leaned down and kissed me before placing a kiss to Lyric’s forehead and rubbing Scottie’s belly. I felt like shit for lying. I had always asked Molly to be open and honest with me, but I couldn’t do the same for her. I just kept telling myself that this lie was for her own good.