Touch Me When We're Dancing

by Suzanne Jenkins

  “Sit down,” he said, leading her back into the porch.

  They got comfortable in the porch, watching Brent play quietly with a stack of Legos that was worth a couple of hundred dollars.

  “Let me ask you a question. If you didn’t have to work, what would you want to do?”

  “Me? I’ll always have to work.”

  “Maybe not, but how about hypothetically? If you could do anything you wanted to do, what would you do?”

  “Well, if you mean for a job? Besides being a nanny, which I love, I’d do something with math. I love numbers. I’d go to school to be an accountant.”

  Tim yelped and slapped his leg. “No way!”

  She was embarrassed by his laughter. “Oh, yes,” she said seriously, putting her nose in the air. “You laugh, but I scored high on the SATs in math. I love spreadsheets and ledgers. I balance the checking accounts of all my family’s checkbooks. As a matter of fact, I’m going home tonight to do it.”

  He’d hurt her, but his next comment clarified his real reason for laughing. Maybe he wasn’t laughing at her after all.

  “Yikes, I hate math. I’m almost a dunce. People who like math have to be geniuses.”

  “I doubt that, Tim,” she said, smiling.

  “Don’t go home, Valarie. I’ll miss you too much. But what I think you should do is get back to school ASAP. There are colleges all over Long Island, and if you don’t want to leave the house, you can do it online.”

  “And who is going to pay for it?” she asked, her hurt feelings healed, and a little excitement building for what he was implying. Could it be real?

  “I will. I hereby declare you a free woman. Well, not free like free to date, because you’re my woman if you’ll have me. Between you and me, we can work out a schedule to get our work done and take care of the kid. He’s in school all day anyway. I can write; you can study. We’ll clean this tiny place together and get takeout if you don’t like to cook.”

  “I always want to cook, you know that.”

  Footsteps on the staircase and then a knock on the door stopped their conversation.

  “I’ll get it,” Valarie said, getting up.

  She went to the door and, through the window, saw a knitted cap with blond hair. Fingers crossed that it was Lisa, Valarie saw a baby in a snowsuit.

  “It’s Elizabeth.”

  Tim left the porch and stood behind Valarie with his hands on her shoulders. “This is a nightmare,” he said. “I’m going to have to tell her.”

  “Don’t be mean to her,” Valarie said, reaching for the doorknob. “Come in, Elizabeth.”

  “Jesus, I was wondering how long you were going to make us stay out there.”

  “You should have called first,” Tim snapped. “What happened to the book fair?”

  “That was last weekend,” she said, frowning at him. “Your new book is going to be a smash! There was so much interest I ended up spending most of my time just promoting it.”

  “That’s great, but you still should have called.”

  “Um, I’m going to step out here on the porch with Brent,” Valarie said.

  “Tim, what’s going on?” Elizabeth asked after Valarie left. “I feel like you owe me an explanation. We had wild sex the other day, and then I don’t hear from you again.”

  “Elizabeth, I explained everything to you. I can’t give you what you want because I don’t want a serious relationship with you.”

  “Oh, now you don’t want one with me. Is it because you’re having one with someone else, like your nanny?”

  “What do you want me to say? I already confessed that getting involved was a mistake. I’ll repeat myself. If you want to hang out, you’re welcome.” It was on the tip of his tongue to say he didn’t love her, but he stopped himself. “I want to be your friend. You’re my agent. That means something to me. I wrote over forty thousand words this week. I’ve never written so fast or so well, in my opinion. Valarie read it and said she couldn’t put it down and can’t wait for the rest of the story.”

  “I’m surprised she can read.”

  Stunned, Tim flushed, praying Valarie hadn’t heard the slur. He waited, counting to ten in his head, hoping she’d take it back so he didn’t have to throw her out. One, two, three, four, five…

  “I’m dying for a cup of coffee,” she said. “Can I make it, or should I ask Valarie to?”

  “I want you to leave,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t want you to make a scene or to mention Valarie’s name again.”

  Elizabeth’s face turned bright red. She’d finally realized what she had said and how offensive it was, but she didn’t take it back. “And what will you do?”

  “I’ll take my next bestseller to your competition. Cheryl Wright is begging to read my book. I’ll forward her emails to you if you don’t believe me. They are also offering me twice the advance.”

  “I can’t believe that bitch talked to you!”

  “Be nice and leave. If you want to be a shit and hurt Valarie’s feelings, go for it, but tell my publisher I’m moving on. It’s up to you.”

  She quickly stuffed what she’d removed from the diaper bag back into it and got Christopher back into his snowsuit.

  “Sorry,” she said. “If you send me your synopsis, I’ll work on that advance.”

  “Great! Valarie,” Tim called, “Elizabeth is leaving. She just wanted to see how the book is coming.”

  Valarie came back into the living room. “You need to send what you have down to her right away, Tim. It’s amazing. It’s a thriller with just the right amount of suspense, but not so much that you’ll have trouble believing it. You’ll love it.”

  Pausing, Elizabeth looked from Tim to Valarie. “Thank you for that description, Valarie. I might have to use it in marketing.”

  Tim looked down at Valarie and smiled at her, resisting the impulse to put his arm around her. But Elizabeth picked up on the tenderness, and her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry about everything. I really enjoyed being with you both these last few months.”

  “Well, don’t leave, then,” Valarie said. “I’m making tortillas tonight. I’m just about to put a pork shoulder in the pressure cooker. Hopefully it won’t blow up the house. I’ll open a bottle of wine, too.”

  “No, thank you so much anyway. I need to get back home and do some work.”

  “I’ll help you get down the stairs,” Tim said.

  “No, really, I’m fine. They’re clear of snow. Enjoy your Saturday,” she said, smiling, but tearful.

  “Aw, I feel bad now,” Valarie said after she left. “I shouldn’t have been so cool to her.”

  “Val, you were lovely to her. I’m so relieved she’s gone, I could crap. You’re not really going to the Bronx tonight in the snow, are you?”

  “No, but you’d better take me there tomorrow, then. I’m not kidding. If I don’t do the checkbooks, the checks will bounce.”

  “I didn’t know people still wrote checks,” he said.

  “In the Bronx they do.”

  “Now what do we do? It’s like a bad wind left the house.”

  “I think we should invite all our friends for dinner.”

  “We don’t have any friends,” Tim said, frowning. “I hate parties.”

  “Well, you’ll love this one. Trust me?”

  “Sure, I trust you.”

  “We’ll just ask Lisa and her new buddy. He’s easy on the eyes.”

  “He sure has a head of hair,” Tim said, smoothing his few strands over his head.

  “Your hair is fine. Get back to work so I can prepare this meat. I’m serious about the pressure cooker. I don’t want you or the baby in the kitchen while it’s on.”

  Chapter 11

  Lisa and Steve skied down to Alison’s house, laughing, with Steve grabbing onto Lisa’s coat when she started to go down on her rear end.

  “I’m afraid I’ll stab you with a pole,” he said.

  They skied to Dave’s snow-covered terrace. />
  “Mommy’s on skis!” Megan screamed, standing at the door.

  “Are you ready to come home?” Lisa asked.

  “I’ll bring her up later,” Alison said, eyeing Dr. Lafferty with brazen interest. “We’re just having lunch.”

  “Okay, thank you,” Lisa said, distracted as she attempted to turn around.

  “See you later!” they called out, sliding away.

  “How are you holding up?” Steve asked.

  “I’m getting tired, but so what. Are you hungry?”

  “Starving,” he said. “What kind of takeout will your mother have?”

  “She’s unimaginative, so probably Shore Pizza.”

  “I like their meatball subs,” he said. “Let’s head back to your mother’s house.”

  Pam was inviting Marian to lunch at the same time. Marian had just confessed what had happened next door, and rather than faint with shock, Pam did what Pam does best—she invited her for a meal. The way it happened, Marian told Pam about seeing her and Randy dancing in the moonlight.

  “You looked so happy together, and I could tell from all the way across the dunes that he was in love with you. I was so depressed about what was going on at my house, and watching you and Randy dance confirmed my decision. I had to end it with Will.”

  “But you just moved here,” Pam said. “Does that mean you’re going to leave already?”

  “No. Will never intended to live here. He’s still working, and he has his own place. And we never did really live together. No, this was my hideaway. I looked forward to him being here last night, and then he sprang it on me that he’d invited another couple.”

  “For the entire weekend? That might be a bit much if it’s not his house.”

  “It wasn’t just that it was a couple. You see, Pam, we’re swingers. I mean he is. I just went along with it because it’s what he wanted to do. I never really cared for it. I’m modest, and having to be nude in front of more than one person at a time was bad enough. The rest of it, having sex with people who didn’t care about me, was horrible. I refused to participate at parties the other members have had. Before, he’d be at his own place or go out. We never had a group at my apartment. My co-op would never stand for that.

  “Last night was the last straw. This morning, I ended it with him. I felt bad because I brought up the money thing. I generously shared with him, and now that will stop. I told him I hoped it was great sex to give up the money. I didn’t even realize that I’d said it. I never mentioned him giving up me.”

  Marian stopped and put her face in her hands and had a good cry.

  Pam patted her back, embarrassed for Marian.

  “I’m so sorry! I’m not normally a crier, but this has just thrown me. I really cared about him. The swinging was a big flaw, but I was able to separate it from the rest of his personality. He’s so handsome and so kind and so much fun.”

  “Did you ask him to consider giving it up?” Pam asked. She thought of her marriage. If she’d known what Jack was doing, would she have had the courage to ask him to leave if he wouldn’t give it up? Maybe. But he wouldn’t have been able to do it.

  “I did, and he said he couldn’t. He enjoys it. I think it’s a selfish obsession.”

  “What does psychiatry think about swinging?” Pam asked, thinking again of Jack.

  “Swingers don’t value sex in the same way monogamous couples do. Plus there’s the judgment factor. Monogamous couples tend to judge swingers, whereas swingers have a more do-your-own-thing attitude. The key in a happy relationship is compromise. Hopefully, needs are met, so in my practice, as long as the couple is in agreement about whatever lifestyle they’re living, it’s great. But if a couple’s values are clashing, or worse, if one of them is cheating, that’s where the problem comes in.”

  They walked in silence, watching the dogs run from the freezing water.

  “You know about Jack, right?” Pam asked in a small voice.

  “Yes. I read about it after his death. I had no idea, except I knew he was with Ashton, too. I thought you might have known and agreed to let him have that relationship.”

  “No. I knew nothing about it. Ashton came here to the beach shortly after Jack died.”

  “I’m sorry, Pam.”

  “That’s okay,” she replied. “I’m over it. It’s nice talking to you about it, like we’re friends already.”

  “I have very few friends. None, as a matter of fact. I have hundreds of acquaintances, but none with whom I could share the story I just told you. Isn’t that odd? I feel more comfortable talking about something so intimate with a stranger.”

  “Maybe I feel less of a stranger because I was married to Jack. The only people I have who knew him are his mother, my daughter and his business partner. The rest of the people are all afraid of me, at least that’s what I’ve heard. They’re afraid because of what they believe Jack represented.”

  “Pam, I didn’t know anything about the weird stuff except what I read after his death. I grew up with the child Jack. He was the sweetest kid, kind and generous. The teen years change everyone. I didn’t exactly hang in his crowd, but the truth is Jack was in everyone’s crowd. He wasn’t exclusive. There are a few things that I knew, nothing big, but nothing like what you’re suggesting. I don’t think Jack’s real friends knew. He had many faces, that’s for sure.”

  “Well, Randy only has one as far as I can tell. And it’s true blue.”

  “Yes! I’ve never read a bad thing about the man, and I read all the gossip magazines.”

  “That’s good to know. Have you ever read anything about a daughter?”

  Marian thought for a moment. “I don’t think so. Truly, I’ve never seen anything about his personal life until he married you.” She got closer and crouched down to Pam’s height, and whispered confidentially, “By the way, congratulations.”

  Pam knew she was referring to a horrible photo of them in the Post, naked in the hot tub at his house out west. The photo included a blurred-out erection that made Randy’s penis look like it was a foot long. Pam giggled.

  “Thank you.”

  But that was all she said about it.

  “Come in for lunch. You can meet Randy if you’re not too embarrassed now, and my daughter might come back. I’m interested to know more about that young man she was with. He’s a gynecologist.”

  “Oh! Well, maybe I need a doctor here in Babylon now,” Marian said, laughing.

  They went inside, and Marian looked around again, impressed, while Pam took the dogs’ coats off.

  “Wow, this place is sure deceiving on the outside. I never expected the high ceilings.”

  Pam smiled. “I’m going to order our lunch now. Do you want to look at their menu?”

  “No, I’ll have what everyone else is having.”

  “We normally have a lot of people here on Saturday, but the snow might keep them away. I’m ready for an intimate lunch.”

  While they waited for the food to be delivered, Pam and Marian made more small talk until Randy came out of his office. After Pam introduced them, she went to get Randy a cup of coffee, but kept one ear open. Marian didn’t waste any time letting him know how much she admired his show. No mention was made this time of the boyfriend, Will.

  “If you ever need an apartment to work on, I live in a co-op building that is dying for a restoration. We had an assessment last year and raised enough to upgrade the mechanicals. But the decorative aspects that need restoration should be done before it’s too late to save them. That will take more money than anyone is willing to pay.”

  “Interesting,” Randy said, getting a paper and pen. “What’s the address?”

  They talked more about the building, and Pam was annoyed. Why would Marian assume that Randy would be interested in her building? The public story was still that the program would work on the Dutch house on First Avenue. She brought the coffee back to the table and watched Randy, trying to gauge how serious his interest was.

  Lisa
and her friend arrived in time to end the conversation about the show. Wondering what could possibly happen next, Pam felt like she’d already crossed a line making demands on him to get rid of Sandra. Could she do the same thing because she felt uncertain of Marian’s motive?

  “Well, I just made a fool of myself in front of a prospective date,” Lisa said, evoking laughter from Steve.

  “No, you did not. You were fine.”

  It was at that moment she realized she’d never warned Steve about not saying anything about her being pregnant to Pam. She needn’t have worried, however; he was his usual professional self.

  The food arrived, and just as they sat down to eat, Lisa received a text message from Valarie, inviting everyone down to Tim’s for pork and homemade tortillas later that evening.

  “Valarie’s cooking at Tim’s,” Lisa said. “She’s just invited all of you over for dinner. Marian, you come, too. She’s an amazing cook. Dominican.”

  “I’ll definitely go,” she said.

  “We’ll probably have to come downstairs to my place. His apartment is barely large enough for two people.”

  Then Pam’s phone went off, and she frowned when she saw it was from Ryan, asking if he could come over. She didn’t want to wait too long to answer him because he’d show up unannounced if she did so.

  “I hate to do this. Lisa, can I have a word with you?”

  “What’s going on?” Randy asked.

  “Family drama,” Pam said, hoping he’d drop it.

  Lisa followed Pam into the pantry. “Mother, what is it? Sandra again?”

  “No, Ryan wants to come for the rest of the weekend.”

  “Why are you asking me?” Lisa asked, slightly annoyed.

  “Well, do you want him around your new friend?”

  “What do you think? No!” Shaking her head, Lisa took a deep breath. She wasn’t ready to tell Pam about the baby. But she had to get through to her mother that the time had come for her to take sides. “Mother, I’m sorry I’m being vague. I have my reasons right now. Please trust me. But make excuses to Ryan. I can’t understand why he’d think he was welcome to come here every weekend.”