Touch Me When We're Dancing

by Suzanne Jenkins

  “I don’t know how much longer I can wait,” he whispered.

  “Are we waiting?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to rush it,” he explained. “Is that weird?”

  “No, of course not,” she said, kissing him again. “Once we do it, everything changes.”

  “You’re going to laugh.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t have that much experience,” he said. “The last twelve years have been getting through school and a residency. I didn’t have time for a relationship, so the ones I had were pretty superficial. I made a few women angry.”

  “People and their expectations,” she said, twirling a lock of his hair behind his ear.

  “Exactly. So with you, there’s no rush,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck. “I don’t have a test looming ahead for the first time in a long time. We have the rest of our lives. Don’t get me wrong, I want you.” He leaned back and pointed to his groin with an obvious impressive erection. “But I want to take our time.”

  They kissed more, touching each other outside their clothes like guilty teenagers. Lying together, legs intertwined, they fell asleep.

  Sunday morning, she woke up on the couch alone. He’d left sometime in the night, and the sense of sadness overwhelmed her, like a death, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She was ready for a committed relationship, and her body and hormones were more than ready. But it was too soon with Steve. She just had to wait so they didn’t jump into anything.

  Getting up from the couch, Lisa knew she was being unreasonable. Before the children woke up, she would take time to take a shower. The hot water flowing over her felt good. Washing her body, she smiled at the evidence of sexual arousal. How many nights could they mess around on her couch, like kids, and not succumb?

  The sounds of children laughing ended the shower. Diana and Miranda had spent the night with Megan, and between the older girls they would make sure no one set the house on fire. Then she heard a deeper voice and recognized Steve’s. He’d come back.

  Slipping into her white terrycloth robe, she went out into the house just to make sure they weren’t being robbed. He looked at her wet hair curling around her shoulders and her clean scrubbed face, and the same yearning for her that he’d wrestled with the night before surfaced.

  “Loot,” he said, holding up bags of breakfast sandwiches from the kids’ favorite fast-food place.

  The boys were climbing on him, trying to reach the bags, and he walked to the table with a small child hanging on each of his legs.

  “Boys, leave Steve alone.”

  “No, Mom! He has food!”

  “They act like I don’t feed them,” she said, laughing. “Get in your chairs, then.”

  “When you’re done eating, if your mom says it’s okay, we’re going to ski on the beach,” Steve said.

  “Are you sure you want to do it again?” Lisa asked. “It sounds horrible.”

  She needed all her concentration to ski, and he was asking small maniacs to join in.

  “Absolutely. And the girls can come, too, if they want.”

  The girls started screaming yes as he passed out food while Lisa got glasses for milk.

  “Girls, keep it down,” Lisa begged.

  “This is my dream, to have small people to play outside with. In the spring we can skate and bike, and they can run with me if they want.”

  “Wow, time to myself! I won’t know what to do,” Lisa said.

  In her heart, she was comparing him to Ryan. On Sundays, Ryan would grumble if anyone made too much noise, and in a house with three kids, it was impossible to keep it quiet. Lisa had dealt with it by leaving with the children to play at the park. The few times she’d tried having them in their own backyard, when they started to make too much noise, he’d come to the door, squinting in the sun like a rat, and say, “Really?”

  Here was a guy, a doctor no less, who wanted to be outside in the fresh air and play, and who better to do that with than a bunch of kids?

  “I’ll get dressed,” she said, heading to her bedroom.

  That moment, a life-changing decision was forming in her head. If he wanted her, she was going to marry him. She’d put up with anything to have a guy as passionate as Steve was, and who wanted to play with her kids, like a babysitter.

  Warning bells did go off, but she knew it was from getting burned by Ryan and that it was misplaced for Steve. But just in case, she would do a quick internet search after they left.

  Sunday progressed beautifully, with Lisa sitting out on the glassed-in porch, watching the shenanigans on the beach, relieved that everything she witnessed taking place between her children and Steve seemed perfectly natural and loving.

  The internet search turned up nothing except his position at Shore OB/GYN Associates. He hadn’t been in practice long enough to have any lawsuits. His social media was strictly sports related, and she got a glimpse of him in a bathing suit that sent chills down her spine. He was built. Closing her eyes, she imagined seeing him naked and then laughed. She was acting like a horny teenager.

  Around lunchtime, the crowd returned, pink cheeked and exhausted, ready for hot cocoa and a nap. While a fire burned in the fireplace and with their sleeping bags spread on the floor, they got comfortable. Lisa put a movie on for them, and they were snoring within minutes.

  “You’re hired,” she said, and they burst out laughing.

  “There’s nothing like a two-hour ski trip in the freezing weather to knock out a few kids.”

  “You’re really good with them,” she said. “Thank you.”

  “It was fun,” he said, his arms going around her. “I would like to do that every Sunday.”

  Reaching up, her lips brushed across his.

  “They recently started going to Dan Junior’s mother’s house on Sunday.” The words were just out of her mouth when her phone beeped. Cara’s number flashed on the screen. “Speak of the devil.”

  “Hey! I just mentioned your name,” she said, winking at Steve.

  “Is that right? Can I come over and take the boys for a few hours?”

  “Sure. They’re unconscious right now after cross-country skiing all morning, but when you get here, we can wake them up.”

  “That’s too funny,” Cara said. “We want to go to a movie, so it will be relaxing for them. I’ll see you in an hour.”

  After chatting a bit longer, they said goodbye and hung up.

  “You heard, correct? Dan Junior’s mother is on her way. She’ll take the boys to a movie this afternoon.”

  The boys were up and rarin’ to go again by the time Cara and her boyfriend, Paul, arrived. They loved the house and agreed that if they could get away from the farm next summer, the beach was where they’d plant themselves.

  “Any help you need with construction projects, just ask me,” Paul said, looking around the old house. “I’d do it for free just to be here.”

  “I’m renting, but if I find a place to buy, I’ll remember that, Paul, thank you.”

  As they were leaving to get to their movie, Nanny Fredericka came to get Diana, who promptly had a temper tantrum.

  “I want Megan and Miranda to come with us!” she cried.

  “Lisa, I’m so sorry,” Fredericka said. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll call Alison.”

  “It’s okay, but I don’t want Megan to think she’d ever get a thing acting that way,” Lisa said, frowning at the little girl.

  “Mommy, I know I can’t whine,” Megan replied. “No whining allowed! That’s the rule.”

  “Smart kid,” Steve said, ruffling her hair.

  “Alison said to let her stay with us for dinner if you’re okay with it,” Fredericka said.

  Megan turned to Steve and grabbed him around the leg. “Will you be here later?”

  He glanced at Lisa, and she nodded. “If you want to be, that’s fine,” she said.

  “Yes. I’ll be waiting to tuck you into bed.”

  After the girls left, Steve and Lisa stood in
the middle of the living room, holding on to each other.

  “How about a real date? Lunch out and a movie?”

  “I would love it,” she said, not telling him that she hadn’t been to a movie unless it was produced by Disney in years.

  “Let’s go,” he said. “I hope we run into everyone I know in Babylon.”

  “Why?” she asked, frowning. “I hope just the opposite.”

  “I want everyone to see me with you,” he said. “It will improve my image.”

  “Steve, a gorgeous, successful doctor improved to what?”

  “If they see me with you, I won’t look like such a nerd.”

  “Oh, my God, you are insane, you know that? Who thinks you’re a nerd?”

  “Lisa, you have yet to discover my past. Trust me, I’m a nerd.”

  “I love nerds,” she said. “I have a long history with them. I might be a tad nerdy myself. Ask my…oops, I almost said my brother. How sad.” She looked at him, pouting. “He would have loved you. He’d probably tease you. Anyway, ask my mom.”

  “I’ll ask her. I didn’t get to say much to her during lunch or at the tortilla party last night. I felt like she was keeping her distance.”

  “Finally!” Lisa shouted. “Pam backs off! My mother can be overwhelming, trust me.”

  “I think it’s kind of nice. It means she loves you. Wait until you meet my parents. I hope we can delay that as long as possible.”

  “We can delay it as long as you want,” she said.

  “Okay, let’s get on with the show! Movie, here we come!”

  Chapter 14

  After Pam had the apartment ready for Randy’s daughter, name yet unknown, she ordered dinner from a nice restaurant in town, no Shore Pizza for the long-lost daughter. The prospect of having her there permanently was a consideration, but Pam chose to ignore it. What adult child would choose to live with her father who was a relative stranger? She thought of Ryan, who would have moved in at the beach in a heartbeat. Maybe Randy could buy her a place of her own.

  Longing to run on the beach with the dogs, it was too cold to stay out too long. But she could stop in on Lisa.

  The snow was still deep, but enough of the bus route to school had been cleared that the kids didn’t have a snow day, for which Lisa was grateful. She was unpacking book boxes when she saw movement on the beach and got up to see her mother bearing down on the house with the dogs.

  She ran to the side door to let her in. “Hounds,” she yelled. “My house needs some dog hair to really feel like home.”

  “You didn’t have dog hair in Smithtown,” Pam stated, confused. “You didn’t have a dog.”

  “And it never felt like home,” Lisa replied, laughing.

  “You’re too funny. We never had dogs when you were growing up. I think you’re teasing me.”

  She squatted down to help Pam get their coats and boots off. There was a little discomfort Lisa felt obviously coming from her mother.

  Standing up, she offered Pam her hand for a boost, and she laughed, taking it.

  “You’ve got something on your mind. Say it so this weirdness can go away,” Lisa said. “I’ll make coffee while you contemplate.”

  “It’s just that sort of statement that sets me off,” Pam said. “You assume too much, Lisa. On moving day, I was livid with Randy, and you took it personally. It had nothing to do with you at all. I felt betrayed by him and was trying to get my needs met.”

  “Mother, I just succeeded in accomplishing my goal, getting you to tell me what the problem is.”

  “It must be nice to be so self-assured,” Pam said, choking back a sob.

  “What am I doing that is upsetting you?”

  “I feel like you’re criticizing me all the time,” Pam said. “If I have a certain look on my face, you’re vocal trying to decipher it, and most of the time you’re wrong. I feel like you don’t like me.”

  Taken by surprise, that was the last thing Lisa wanted her mother to think. “Mom, I love you. I am critical of you and I’m sorry. You’re critical of me, too. All your cracks about me having a nanny over the years are adding up. Why didn’t you have a nanny? You could have afforded it. You didn’t have one because you had Aunt Marie.”

  Gasping, Pam’s hand flew to her mouth. Lisa was right, and Pam knew it. She hadn’t needed a nanny because she’d had Marie. She grabbed her daughter and apologized. “I want you to have every opportunity. My criticism is wrong! You are a much better parent than I was because you refuse to expose your children like I did. You sacrificed your love for Ryan to protect your kids.”

  “I still don’t know that he had the intent,” Lisa said. “My concerns might be completely misguided. But I wasn’t willing to take the chance. And besides that, Mother, I have kids with three different men. Don’t compare yourself unfavorably with me. You’re a much better human being.”

  In spite of Lisa’s admonition, all of the regret Pam had came to the surface again, and she began to cry. “Why did I think I’d be over it by now? My son is dead. Your opinion of me is not the best. I made a mistake, I know that now. I should never have left Manhattan, but he probably would have left me.”

  “Or you would have divorced him. Don’t be the victim, Mother.”

  “I’m not! I feel powerful, Lisa. You don’t know enough about me to accuse me of being a victim. It’s too late for your father. What I could have done doesn’t have any bearing on the present. All I can do is move on. Will you let me move on?”

  “I didn’t feel like I was holding you back,” Lisa said, wondering.

  “We’ve talked in a circle. You accused me of having something on my mind.”

  “And you did,” Lisa said.

  “But I didn’t want to go through this! I told you this on moving day. All I did was ask you to get pizza and go back to your house.”

  “And did you resolve it?” Lisa asked, accusatory.

  “I did! Sandra is out, she’s not going to host the show, and Randy won’t have to deal with her.”

  “Wow, that’s a feat. Congratulations.” Taking a deep breath, Lisa wanted to move on. “Coffee?”

  “Please. I have something to tell you. The original reason that I’m here, that is.”

  “Mom, I’m sorry.”

  “That’s fine. Anyway, Randy just called, and he’s bringing his daughter home!”

  “His daughter? What the fuck!”

  “Ha! That’s what I thought. I have no idea how it happened, or how long she’s going to be here. I suppose it will all be ironed out when they get home.”

  “When? I’m surprised you’re here. Normally, you’d be running ragged preparing.”

  “Noni is moving Miranda’s things out of the apartment and back into Marie’s room. Noni will stay in your room, and the daughter will have the apartment. Food is coming from Le Sueur.”

  “Ugh, you know that means sweat in French,” Lisa said, laughing. “Oops, I’ve insulted you again though. I’m sorry.”

  Pam laughed. “No problem. She’s from Le Sueur, Idaho, or maybe it’s Iowa. I always get those northwest states confused.”

  “Mom, I think it’s in Minnesota. And it’s the Midwest.”

  They drank coffee for a minute in silence.

  “So what did you think of Steve Lafferty?”

  “My, he’s a handsome one, isn’t he? We need some eye candy.”

  “Mom, you’ve lost your mind,” Lisa said, shocked.

  “Why? Since Ryan’s not around, who do we have to look at? My sister’s husband? Sam reminds me of a turtle. Or Dave? He looks like a cardboard box. How about Tim? Poor guy. I hope if he makes some money, he’ll consider a hair transplant.”

  Lisa, biting her tongue to keep from laughing, noted silently that Pam didn’t mention Randy, who, with a long gray ponytail, was skinny and stooped over and wore the same clothes every day. Even married to Pam, his uniform of choice, a threadbare white shirt and khaki pants, hadn’t changed. By the time Pam listed the men in their life
, including poor Ted, Oscar, and last but not least, Dan, Lisa was holding her side, tears rolling down her face, laughing.

  “Dan’s handsome, Mother. You thought so at one time.”

  “He’s not aging well,” she said. “I wish you’d tell him to stay out of the tanning booth.”

  “I will not!” Lisa retorted. “You’re closer to him than I am now. You tell him!”

  “I couldn’t hurt his feelings. He told me he still loved me on Christmas Eve.”

  “Mother, are you kidding me?” Lisa asked, appalled—Julie would be crushed if she knew.

  “No, Lisa, I’m not. He was drunk, and somehow we ended up in the kitchen alone. I’ll admit I’d had a glass or two too many. Julie was dancing with Ryan, and Dan must have felt left out because he grabbed me and kissed me.”

  Speechless, Lisa suddenly could see where some of her own poor decision making might have come from. “And you pushed him off right away, right?”

  “No, actually, I got into it. I didn’t stop him until he reached under my dress. I slapped him so hard his glasses flew across the room.”

  “So that’s what happened to them,” Lisa said, shaking her head laughing. “We tore the house apart looking for his glasses.”

  “They were in the trash the whole time,” Pam said, snickering.

  Looking at her mother carefully, Lisa wondered if there wasn’t more to the story than Pam was letting on.

  “Dan certainly gets around,” Lisa said, still watching Pam.

  “He’s bored, as usual. I told him if he was unfaithful to Julie, I’d never speak to him again, and he swore he would rather kill himself than disappoint me. Well, I said he was drunk, didn’t I?”

  “You did! So what’s next?”

  “Well, Randy is loaning him the money to buy the house across the street.”

  “What? I told him I’d give him the money and he refused!”

  “That’s because Randy beat you to it. We made him promise he’d let us tell you. Lisa, allow us to do for you. Randy is hell-bent on spending as much of his money as he can on you before he dies.”