Touch Me When We're Dancing

by Suzanne Jenkins

  “Ha! I love live music, though,” Lisa said, laughing.

  “I want to dance with you, cheek to cheek,” he said.

  “You’ll have to bend over. You’re ten inches taller than I am.”

  “I’ll bend over to reach your lips.”

  “You are so cute,” she said.

  “Corny, you mean. Anyway, I’ll run home and shower and be there around six.”

  “Great, see you then.”

  A real date, she thought. Dancing cheek to cheek was what he’d said. The guy was a romantic.

  He arrived promptly at six with a bouquet, not from the grocery store, a box of chocolate from the candy store in town, and an extra-large chocolate milkshake from the burger joint. She was wearing skinny jeans, probably for the last time due to her growing belly, and a pink angora sweater with a higher neckline than the white one, just so it didn’t appear that she was trying to move on him too fast.

  “Wow, you look so good! I love your furry sweaters. By the way, here’s another gift,” he said, handing over a grocery bag. Inside was a sticky lint roller. “As you can see, I wore a lighter sweater this time, just in case.”

  “I’m so sorry! Did I ruin your black sweater?”

  “No, but it will never be the same. I’ll think of you whenever I wear it.”

  One of his patients had already asked him if he had a bunny for a pet when he wore the sweater to work, but he didn’t tell Lisa, not wanting to embarrass her.

  “Do you mind eating at the roadhouse? Will it give you indigestion?”

  “Not at all. I love barbeque.”

  They walked out to his car together, his arm around her shoulders, smiling and chatting animatedly.

  From the apartment above, Tim watched, his feelings of sadness that Lisa was no longer free were not diminishing like he’d hoped after making plans with Valarie. Contradictorily, he did care for Valarie. When they were together, he was ready to be with her for the rest of his life, but when he saw Lisa, the doubts came to the surface.

  He quickly walked back to the bedroom and looked out the window just in time to see the new guy bend over and stick his head in the car, probably to kiss Lisa. Heart pounding, Tim remembered the kiss he’d stolen from her the evening she was in her dress-up clothes to go to the kids’ Christmas program. They’d never discussed it afterward, but it was fodder for many of the sexual encounters with Elizabeth.

  Fortunately, he didn’t need fantasy material with Valarie, who was her own technicolored sexual fantasy with audio, video and aromatherapy rolled into one. Sex with her was unlike anything he’d ever had before. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Lisa the rest of the time.

  He decided he had a choice to make—speak with Lisa and see if there was a chance for him, or just forget her altogether and move away with Valarie. There wasn’t a possibility for him to be happy with Valarie if he couldn’t forget Lisa, and living with her wasn’t going to facilitate forgetting about her.

  Right after the boyfriend’s car pulled away, Valarie’s pulled in. She’d gone to investigate taking a spring term class at the local community college. The smile on her face transmitted the excitement she must be feeling across the yard, and Tim knocked on the window to get her attention. She looked up and waved a sheaf of papers.

  Making a split-second verdict, he decided they would move. There was no way he could continue living with Lisa. If he couldn’t afford to stay near the beach for Brent’s sake, it would be sad. But he didn’t want to go on like this with the inability of letting go of the dream of her when Valarie was offering him true, uncomplicated love. She didn’t have any baggage.

  “Hurray,” she called when she came in, waving her college application. “I’m going to start next month.”

  “Congratulations! That’s such great news,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Are you hungry?”

  “I could use a glass of wine. Where’s Brent?”

  “He’s playing in his room. I want to discuss something with you, so sit down and let’s chat.”

  They got out glasses and a bottle of wine and sat down across from each other at the table.

  “I want to get our own place,” he said, pouring. “It’s nice being here on the water, but I want privacy.”

  “It’ll mean taking Brent away from the boys.”

  “They’re gone all weekend now, and he’ll be in school with them during the week. I’m ready for you and me to make a home together. What do you think?”

  “Tim, if that will make you happy, I’m all for it. When were you thinking of moving?”

  “We should do it before you start school. Those executive apartments in town are an option for us. We’d be in the same school district.”

  Valarie went to his side and wrapped her arms around him, not telling him she’d watched Brent there when Sandra was living with Dan. She remembered it as being slightly seedy and mostly transient. But it was a start, and he needed to get away from Lisa to have a fresh one.

  “You’re such a great guy. How did I rate?”

  “Valarie, you’re wonderful. And you deserve your own place. So is it a deal?”

  “Deal,” she said, high-fiving. “The good thing is that we don’t have much to pack. Just our clothes.”

  “And Brent’s race-car bed,” Tim said, getting up. “I’ll get him in the tub.”

  “Did you eat yet?”

  “We had dogs,” he replied. “Chili dogs, so watch out.”

  “Yikes!”

  They kissed again, and Valarie disappeared into her little closet bedroom to call her sister with news of college while Tim bathed Brent.

  Lying in bed together later, the old house creaked in the wind, the sound of waves crashing on the beach the only evidence of where they were. As they talked in hushed voices, making plans for their future, he didn’t think of Lisa again that night.

  ***

  Lisa wasn’t thinking of anyone but Steve Lafferty. The disc jockey didn’t start spinning until nine, so they took their time ordering dinner and eating. The food was messy and amazing, and they laughed about getting barbeque sauce on their faces. Relaxation permeated everything about the evening.

  When Lisa left to go to the ladies’ room, Steve ran up to the disc jockey and requested a song. Right at nine, the Flamingos started to sing “I Only Have Eyes for You.” Steve stood and offered Lisa his hand.

  Then the DJ announced, “Steve wants Lisa to know he only has eyes for her.”

  “Oh, Steve,” Lisa said tearfully, taking his hand.

  He led her out to the floor, and she moved into his arms as the vintage love song played. So completely captivated by him, she didn’t even notice that other couples had joined them on the dance floor. Steve looked right at her as he sang along with the record, so sincere and his eyes so full of feeling for her that she didn’t even notice he was off-key. It was the most romantic evening she’d ever had, with the handsomest man. They danced for an hour, holding each other tightly, his hand at the small of her back, the warmth of it traveling through her body to her belly, and down farther.

  But no matter how romantic it was, by ten, she was beat. “I guess we’ll have to get used to this,” she said. “I’m sorry for being a dud on our special night.”

  “Lisa, we were both up at dawn and on the go all day. We’re not twenty anymore. I can’t wait to get home. I even brought sweatpants.”

  “We’ll match.”

  “I love you,” he said suddenly.

  She looked up at him and could see he was moved by something emotional. He looked around to see if they were being observed in the dark dance hall and placed his hand over her belly. The baby had been moving around, and she didn’t realize that he could feel it against his body while they were dancing.

  “Wow,” he whispered, bending down to kiss her.

  Her arms went up around his neck, their bodies against each other from their knees to their lips.

  “Let’s go home,” she said, filled with desire for him.
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  It didn’t take long for Steve to become part of Lisa’s routine and for her busy family to become his. On Saturday morning they made breakfast together. Fredericka brought Megan and Miranda back to Lisa’s house. Then Pam called to see if it was convenient to bring Nelda down to meet Steve.

  “Should I be nervous?” Steve asked.

  “No, you already know my mother. I’m not sure how you avoided my grandmother, but she’s pretty benign. You’ll see. She might ask you embarrassing questions, but you’ll handle it.”

  “Like doctor questions? I once had a gas station attendant in New Jersey, where you don’t pump your own gas, take a look at my lab coat hanging in the back of the car, and the third degree started. ‘Are you a doctor? Like with scalpels?’ He was fascinated by scalpels.”

  “Ha! Was he a possible murderer?”

  “I don’t think so. He started giggling and asked, ‘Do you cut people up?’”

  “What did you answer?”

  “I said of course! What do you think doctors do?”

  “Well, I rest my case. Nelda Fabian may ask the same sort of questions.”

  Without the boys, the house was quiet for a Saturday morning.

  “I feel lonely,” he announced to the little girls, who were looking at their iPads. “If someone will play a game with me, I’d be so happy.”

  That was all they needed to hear. The unpacked box of games was opened up again and the games were sorted: Chutes and Ladders—too babyish; Scrabble—too hard; and finally, Sequence for Kids—just right.

  They crowded around the kitchen table, and Megan announced how thrilling it was to play a game without her annoying little brothers throwing the pieces around. Lisa watched Steve interact with the girls, and he was so genuine, he was really playing the game with the girls.

  During the game, Miranda somehow pinched her finger on a sliver under the table edge, and a drop of blood ran down her hand.

  “Aunt Lisa! Quick, I’m bleeding,” she cried.

  “It’s okay,” Steve said as Lisa came over to her with a paper towel.

  “No, it’s not,” she said, whimpering. “My blood isn’t safe.”

  Steve frowned and waited for Lisa to explain, but she cleaned up Miranda’s hand and avoided looking at his face.

  “Who’s winning?” Lisa asked. “Write it down somewhere. I think you should end the game for now because Noni and Granny are coming over to meet Dr. Lafferty. You two go clean up for guests.”

  “Are you a doctor?” Miranda asked, picking up on it right away.

  “I am,” he said.

  “Let’s put your game away for now,” Lisa said, trying to get them to move on. “You can play later this afternoon.”

  “Noni will make Mandy leave,” Megan cried, mimicking Diana’s whining to get her way.

  “For heaven’s sake, she will not. And if she does, you can go with her,” Lisa said, ready to let her move in with Alison.

  “Anything to get them out of here! Jeesh!”

  “Lisa, what was all that ruckus about her blood?” Steve asked.

  “Right, I was going to say something, and I completely forgot about it. She has AIDS. Yep. I know, too much AIDS/HIV talk from one family, but it’s not a family secret. I just didn’t get around to telling you yet.

  “My father had it and gave it to my mother and my aunt,” she said, nonchalant, like your father spreading AIDS around was a common thing. “You can imagine how that came about. Miranda is my aunt Marie’s daughter. She died from an AIDS-related brain infection when Miranda was born. So now you know my disgusting family history.”

  Steve had gotten up to put the game away before she started to talk, and he leaned against the kitchen counter now, listening to her, almost disbelieving. Her mother—AIDS?

  “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I don’t know what else to say.”

  “Yes, well, there isn’t much to say.”

  He wondered how the half-brother and his HIV status fit into the family tree, but thought it was better to let it sit for a while because, after all, her mother was coming over soon.

  “Look, I don’t care about all that, okay? Just so there’s no weirdness between you and me.”

  “No weirdness at all,” she said, stepping on her tiptoes to kiss him.

  Once again, she was going to do what she could to keep Steve Lafferty around because he was almost too good to be true.

  She looked at him sidelong. “There has to be a caveat. What are you hiding? Do you have a wife and kids somewhere? Are you an alien? There’s got to be something.”

  “No, I’m pretty transparent.”

  “I guess I have enough drama for both of us,” she said, feeling awful. “Why are you interested in someone like me?”

  He pulled her over to him and kissed her on the mouth. “You know, last night when we were dancing so close together, I could feel the baby moving? I made up my mind that I would raise him as my own if I could. I don’t know why that thought came to me, but it was a little disconcerting. I’ve never thought about raising another man’s kid as my own, and out of the blue, bingo, I want to do it. It’s because it’s you. I want you. I love you.”

  Lisa snorted a little, sobbing; then embarrassed that it came out like that, she started to laugh with tears running down her face.

  “I wish I hadn’t told anyone who the baby’s father is. We could have pretended he was yours. I keep calling him he, but I don’t know what it is because I haven’t been to the doctor.”

  He held her close, wiping her face with a paper towel.

  “You know, I forgot to tell you that all your blood work is fine,” he said. “Sorry. I just forgot. It doesn’t make any difference who his natural father is. If we are together, I’ll raise him as my own.”

  “Wow,” she said, taking the towel from him to wipe her eyes. “And sorry about the snort.”

  “That really came out of you, didn’t it?”

  She playfully slugged him. “See, I’m far from perfect.”

  “I like it,” he said, holding her. “I like it a lot.”

  “God, here they come.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “No, it won’t. I need to tell my mother I’m pregnant. I might as well do it now, too. You’re here and the girls will be excited. Everyone can think what they want about who the father is. I’m five months and we’ve been dating for a week, so let them figure it out.”

  “Hi, come in!” she said, opening the door.

  “Isn’t this nice,” Nelda said, taking her scarf off. “Very beachy. Now this is my idea of a beach house!”

  “Nice try, Noni,” Lisa said, kissing her.

  “There are no children here?” Pam asked, looking around.

  “The girls are all back in the bedroom. Brent’s upstairs, and the boys are with Dan. I need to talk to you before they come out.”

  “Coffee anyone?” Steve asked.

  “Noni, this is Steve, by the way. Dr. Lafferty. My grandmother.”

  They smiled and nodded, and Steve extended his hand.

  “Listen up,” Lisa said. “I’m not going to waste any more time. I’m pregnant!”

  Nelda gasped, but Pam elbowed her, so they smiled and clapped, polite little claps.

  “I was just going to say I don’t think I’ve seen you look better. You’ve filled out. You were getting so skinny,” Nelda said.

  “Congratulations,” Pam replied, smiling. “Noni’s right, you look great.”

  It seemed like her family was exercising manners for a change, and no one asked any questions.

  “Another baby in the family! That’s always so exciting,” Pam said sincerely. “And Alison’s baby will be so close in age.”

  “Yes, that’s a big plus,” Lisa said, not mentioning that they also had the same father. “Every kid will have a pal.”

  “Do you know what it is?” Pam asked.

  “Not yet, but I’ve been calling it he.”

  “That probably means you’re h
aving twin girls,” Nelda said, and they laughed.

  They chatted over coffee, and when enough time had lapsed, Pam excused herself to go upstairs and see Brent.

  “I’ll take the girls,” she said.

  In a quest to be more attentive to her grandchildren, she would do this. The chaos of Randy was expunged from her house, and that was what it ended up being, chaos, especially with the ridiculous inclusion of Sandra into his show, which he then ended up losing to her. Pam knew that eventually there could be a price to be paid in their relationship over her taking a stand, which ultimately had ruined a show he had based his retirement on. Perhaps the price was unfolding now, with him being gone. She’d walked around in a fog for the past few days, playacting to pretend everything was okay when he called her, but it was not. At least not for her.

  Climbing the staircase to Tim’s apartment with the pleasant chatter of the girls around her, Pam made another decision. This was her life, and she wasn’t going to have her happiness dictated any longer by an absent man. She’d take it minute by minute, and right now she was going to relish being in the company of her late son’s child.

  “Go ahead and knock,” she told the girls. “Gently.”

  They did, and Tim came to the door right away, all smiles, with the nanny close behind him.

  “Come in! I heard commotion downstairs, and I was just going to call Lisa and see if it was anyone I needed to see, and it is!”

  Tim ushered Pam in, hugging her as she passed.

  “Brent, quick, Granny’s here!”

  The little guy ran out of his bedroom and flew into Pam’s embrace, chattering, pulling her to the front porch to see his Lego structure.

  “Wow, now this is a fancy playroom! What a view you have while you play!”

  “Not for long,” Tim said. “We just decided to move.”

  “You and Brent?” Pam asked, frowning. “Why? It’s so wonderful having you close by with his cousins right downstairs.”

  Tim gave her the rundown of the boys being gone on the weekend, so they’d continue to see them in school during the week. Then he got to the nitty-gritty.

  “Valarie and I are serious about each other,” he said. “We’d like to have our own home.”