Her Four-Year Baby Secret

by Alison Roberts

‘And you told him what you thought?’

  ‘More than that. I told him he didn’t deserve you.’

  The idea of Nick defending her like that gave Fiona that strange melting sensation inside, like remembering his kiss had.

  ‘And?’

  ‘And we had a fight. That black eye wasn’t from a patient in Emergency that day, Fi. It had been the punch that finished that fight. The winning blow. Al knocked me out.’

  ‘You were actually fighting? For me?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Can’t you guess?’

  Fiona searched Nick’s face. He looked so serious. So sincere. So…She couldn’t identify the emotional glue holding everything else together but it made her want to cry.

  ‘I was in love with you, Fi,’ Nick said softly. ‘Al guessed. He laughed at me.’

  ‘Oh, my God,’ Fiona breathed. ‘Why?’

  ‘He said it was a joke. That my only claim to fame was being his brother—the way it had always been. That someone like you would never look at someone like me.’

  Fiona touched Nick’s face. The tiny scar at the corner of his eyebrow that must be the only physical evidence left of that black eye. ‘Your brother was capable of being so charming, Nick,’ she said. ‘He could also be incredibly cruel.’ She traced her finger gently over his cheekbone and down the hollow of his cheek. ‘How could I not look at someone as amazing as you, Nick Stewart?’ She was touching the corner of his mouth now. And smiling. ‘Ironic that It’s the other way round now, isn’t it? I’m so much older. A single mum. Why would someone like you want someone like me?’

  ‘I would.’

  Fiona’s finger stilled. Her word was just a whisper. ‘Why?’

  ‘Can’t you guess?’ She could feel the crooked smile beneath that fingertip. ‘I’m still in love with you, Fi. I’ve done my best to get past it in the last ten years but I guess I failed.’

  Fiona was touching more of Nick’s lips now, as though feeling them move might convince her the words were really being uttered.

  ‘Oh-h…I’m glad you failed.’ She was still whispering.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because…’ Her voice became stronger. Surer. ‘I’m in love with you, too.’

  Nick caught her hand in his. He pressed it against his lips but his eyes never left Fiona’s face. She could see a dawning hope but it was mixed with sheer incredulity. Belief in what she was saying had to be the biggest gift she had ever given anybody but it was also the simplest because it was also a gift to herself.

  Fiona stood up with her hand still in Nick’s and he moved with her. Then Fiona reached up to put her arms around his neck.

  ‘I want you so much,’ she said softly. She didn’t have to apply any pressure to bring his face close to hers. Close enough to kiss. Her touch was feather soft. Just the briefest taste.

  ‘Make love to me, Nick…’

  Had she said the words out loud? She must have. Why else would Nick be sweeping her into his arms like this? Carrying her away from the warmth of the kitchen…

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  IT SHOULD have been cold down the other end of the house but Fiona felt as if she had flames dancing over her skin.

  Nick set her down gently so that she was standing on the floor beside his bed. Big picture windows gave them a background of moonlight reflecting on a lake as black as sin, but the world outside this room may as well have been on a separate planet as far as Fiona was concerned. She focussed instead on the black pools of Nick’s eyes, cut off from her line of vision momentarily as she raised her arms to help him pull off the woollen jersey that was part of her winter uniform.

  He dropped the garment to the floor and cupped Fiona’s neck with one hand as he tilted his head to find her lips. She could have happily lost herself in the gathering intensity of that kiss—the changing pressure of his lips and the incredible excitement the glide of his tongue against hers created—but Fiona was also aware of Nick’s other hand moving. The fingers trailed down her neck towards the first button of her shirt and every tiny contact of his skin against hers created such heat the flames kept dancing higher.

  Her breasts caught alight at the first touch, seeming to swell into Nick’s hand, the nipples chafing against the lace of her bra. Nick’s head dropped to place a lingering kiss on the side of her neck and Fiona shivered at the intensity of her pleasure.

  ‘You’re not cold, are you?’

  ‘No.’ Fiona pressed herself further into Nick’s hands. ‘Don’t stop…’

  She could feel his lips curving into a smile against her skin in the hollow between her neck and her shoulder. ‘I wasn’t planning to,’ he murmured, tugging her shirt free from her trousers.

  Then Fiona felt the slide of his hands against the bare skin of her back, pausing for just a heartbeat to flick the catch of her bra open. She needed those hands to steady her as Nick kissed her mouth again. No gentle questions were being asked now. Fiona could taste a need as strong as her own. The tie had fallen from her braid and her hair came loose in Nick’s fingers, falling around her face. Wild and free—exactly the way Fiona was feeling right now.

  She was unaware of moving backwards until she felt the edge of the bed behind her legs and then she was falling, cradled in Nick’s arms, still locked into that passionate kiss as they rolled together on the soft surface of the bed covers.

  It was taking too long for Nick to undo the buckle of her belt and Fiona’s fingers tangled with his as she tried to help. Soft laughter joined the quickened sound of their breathing as she lifted her hips to ease the removal of her last pieces of clothing. Nick leaned over her to open the drawer of the beside cabinet, and the sight of the small package made Fiona catch her breath.

  They were really going to do this. To make love. And she had never wanted anything this much in her entire life.

  Nick was kneeling on the bed as he leaned over her but then he sat back on his haunches. His shirt was unbut-toned—had she done that? It was still caught in the waist-band of his trousers but it was open enough for her to see the skin of his chest, glistening in the moonlight. A smudged V of fine dark hair and nipples that were hard enough to look like pebbles standing on end. Fiona wetted her lips in anticipation and heard Nick catch his breath.

  But he didn’t move and Fiona suddenly realised she was lying there completely naked while Nick was still mostly clothed. She held her breath, drowning in the gaze she was being subjected to.

  ‘You are so beautiful.’ His voice was raw with desire. ‘I love you, Fi.’

  ‘I love you.’ Fiona reached out. She had to touch him. To convince herself that this was really happening. And the new touch of her hands on his bare chest kicked desire to a totally new level.

  Her hands dropped to fumble with his belt buckle and the soft sound that came from her throat was one of frustration and unbearable need.

  Nick’s hands covered hers. Taking over. Managing what she couldn’t manage with calm, deft action. And then he was naked, kneeling over her, and it was Fiona’s turn to catch her breath again and revel in the beauty of his body. When he moved, it was to draw back the duvet and cover them, but Fiona didn’t need the warmth and she couldn’t wait.

  ‘Now, Nick,’ she whispered. ‘Please…’

  And then he was over her. Inside her. The movement so fluid and sure Fiona could only gasp, close her eyes and surrender herself to the power of a passion that built until she knew her world had stopped turning. The spasms of her climax took her somewhere out of any time or place she had ever known.

  Nick’s cry a few moments later was her name and Fiona held him so hard she was afraid she might be hurting him.

  But she was also too afraid to let him go.

  That very first kiss had wakened Fiona’s senses.

  Making love for the first time had taught them there were things she had never experienced before.

  Magic things.

  The anxiety that had followed that first kiss—waiti
ng to see Nick’s acknowledgement and reaction—was not there when Fiona arrived at work the following day. She knew she would see a reflection of exactly what she was feeling herself.

  The euphoria of a connection that transcended anything simply physical.

  The connection of loving and being loved in return.

  There had never been anything quite like this.

  Fiona’s step didn’t falter but she could feel time slowing down as she entered the emergency department of Lakeview Hospital that morning with an elderly patient who had slipped on an icy footpath and broken her hip.

  The eye contact lasted only for a heartbeat but it was enough to justify her confidence. The bond between herself and Nick was solid.

  Growing stronger with every passing minute.

  It was going to change every aspect of her life, she realised. Even their professional interaction felt different. More meaningful.

  ‘This is Jessie Barnes,’ she told him. ‘She’s eighty-three and slipped when she was going out to get her newspaper this morning.’

  ‘Darned ice,’ Jessie muttered. ‘Winter is just the pits, isn’t it?’

  ‘It can be,’ Nick agreed sympathetically, smiling at his patient.

  ‘Query left neck of femur,’ Fiona continued. She knew why Jessie was beaming back at Nick, her pain forgotten for the moment. ‘External rotation and shortening. Pain on movement but good response to Entonox and Jessie’s been comfortable since we splinted her leg.’

  They had used a pillow splint, tying the elderly woman’s legs together with the cushioning between them.

  ‘Vital signs?’

  Shane rattled off their recordings, which had all been within normal limits.

  ‘Do you keep good health normally, Jessie?’

  ‘Box of birds I am, dear,’ she responded. ‘Never had a sick day in my life.’

  ‘No previous symptoms,’ Fiona added. ‘Straightforward slip. Not knocked out but she did get a bit of a bump on the head.’

  ‘Take more than that to knock me out,’ Jessie said.

  ‘Let’s have a look.’ Nick bent closer and Fiona watched as he gently palpated the skull beneath wispy, white hair and questioned Jessie further. The calm reassurance he used kept his patient smiling and Fiona found herself also smiling as she pushed the stretcher away.

  Had she ever felt this good?

  Even when she had first been in love with Al?

  It was hard to remember. Had it faded so much because it had never been real to begin with? She and Al had come from such different worlds and they had only met because Al had been forced out of his. Threatened by a serious injury and, probably for the first time in his life, feeling vulnerable.

  The man she had fallen in love with had been a part of Alistair Stewart that had had to be buried again as deeply as possible but Fiona had been too blind to see what had been real and what hadn’t been. She knew things had gone terribly wrong but had had no idea why.

  That wasn’t going to happen again.

  Nick was a part of her world. Grounded in the same reality. The vulnerability he had might come from the same need to be loved that Alistair had had but there was a huge difference. Al had needed the adoration of the masses. That kind of love from just one person would be enough for Nick. As it was for her.

  More than enough—if that person was Nick.

  It was just so perfect. Impossible to hide. And the staff of Lakeview guessed very quickly.

  ‘You…and Nick?’ Megan asked on her second visit to the hospital that day. ‘Is there something going on here?’

  Fiona had done nothing more than smile but Megan had sighed enviously and then grinned. ‘You lucky thing. Wow! Wait until I tell Lizzie she was right!’

  Shane also noticed. ‘Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person,’ he said. ‘Good to know that Nick will be hanging around for a while.’

  Would he? Fiona’s smile faltered for an instant. They needed to talk about the future but it was too soon, wasn’t it? Then again, the luxury of time was something they didn’t have. Hugh and Maggie were due back next week. Nick still had to return that call to Doug. They had to talk about the future. Their future. Before it was too late.

  Even Sam noticed the change in the atmosphere around him that evening when Nick was visiting, although he had no idea what was causing it.

  ‘You look different, Mummy,’ he said as he received his goodnight kiss.

  ‘Do I, sweetheart? I’m just the same me.’

  ‘No.’ Sam’s eyes were drifting shut already. ‘You look all…shiny.’

  ‘Shiny, huh? I like that.’ The length and passion of Nick’s kiss was more than satisfactory. ‘I think I’m feeling shiny, too.’

  Fiona snuggled closer on the couch near the glow of the fire. ‘Mmm.’ She wanted another kiss but she knew where that would lead and making love to Nick in her own house—with Sam asleep in the next room—didn’t feel quite right. Yet. Besides, there was no telling how early her mother would get home from the restaurant Bernie had taken her to for dinner. ‘Shiny’s good,’ she added.

  ‘Let’s keep it like this,’ Nick said quietly. ‘For ever.’

  Fiona’s heart skipped a beat. For ever was the biggest commitment. One that she couldn’t make until she was sure it was safe. For Sam as much as for herself.

  ‘You and me and Sam,’ Nick continued. ‘Here…’

  Fiona felt her heart thump again. Did that make all this just a fantasy? Nick was no stranger to the lure of magic but if being here was an escape from reality, it was not a world she could share.

  ‘Would you be happy here?’ she asked. ‘What about your job?’

  ‘I think it’s time for a change of direction. I’ll have to go away for some training, I guess, but I want to come back. This feels like home. If I had a place like Hugh’s—where I could see the lake and the mountains—maybe with a bit of land, I would never want to live anywhere else.’

  Fiona ignored the tiny doubts trying to edge into her mind. She went even further and stamped on them firmly. Took another step towards commitment.

  ‘I have a bit of land,’ Fiona told Nick. ‘Quite a lot, actually. It’s on the other side of the lake towards Glenorchy. You know, where we went to that forest?’

  ‘How could I forget? That was the day I knew magic really existed. The day I knew how much in love with you I still was. Always will be…’

  Another kiss. A long snatch of time being held in each other’s arms. Touching. Loving. Ignoring the fact that Nick had used the word ‘magic’ yet again.

  ‘I bought the farm years ago with the idea of building a house there one day,’ Fiona said eventually. ‘But we’ve been so happy here with Mum that it’s just been left on the back burner.’

  ‘Your mum was looking pretty happy herself tonight. Do you think there’s something going on with her and this Bernie?’

  ‘I hope so.’ Fiona smiled. ‘I want everybody I love to be as happy as I am.’

  ‘It all sounds perfect,’ Nick decided after another kiss.

  ‘Doesn’t it? With a new ambulance station and upgraded surgical facilities, Lakeview will take off. We’ll both be able to do exactly what we want with the rest of our lives.’

  ‘Sounds like a lot of fundraising coming up.’

  ‘Not necessarily.’ Fiona chewed her bottom lip. ‘I’ve kept it really quiet for obvious reasons but you must realise I’ve got far more money than I could ever use, thanks to my inheritance from Al. There’s a trust fund for Sam but that barely dented it. Hugh’s one of the trustees for another trust I set up so he’s one of the few people that know it was me that paid for most of our new helicopter last year. We could still do a lot with the rest and there would be enough community support to disguise where the extra money was coming from.’

  They were still talking—between kisses—exploring the possibilities their futures could hold, when Elsie finally got home, well after midnight. Fiona and Nick scrambled up from the couch but still ne
eded to stand close enough to be touching.

  ‘Look at the time!’ Fiona exclaimed. ‘You’re very late, Mum.’ Then she stared at her mother and her lips curved into a smile. ‘I know exactly what Sam meant now.’

  Elsie peeled off her coat and gloves. ‘I am old enough to stay out as late as I feel like, you know.’ She was looking from Fiona to Nick and back again.

  ‘You look shiny, Mum.’

  ‘I…um…’ Elsie was looking bemused. ‘What’s going on, Fi? You…and Nick?’

  ‘Yeah…’ Fiona couldn’t stop smiling. ‘I was about to ask you the same thing. You…and Bernie?’

  ‘Yeah…’ Elsie was smiling back at her daughter and Nick was smiling at both of them.

  ‘Wonderful, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘Being shiny?’

  Fiona and Elsie answered in unison. ‘Yeah…’

  On Saturday, despite the freezing weather with the first flurries of winter snow, Fiona took Nick to see the stretch of land she owned.

  ‘It’s not a small farm. There’s a line of trees on that hill over there that marks one boundary and it goes as far as the river on the other side and all the way down to the lake here.’

  ‘How on earth do you manage it?’

  ‘I don’t. I’ve got a farm manager who lives in a house up near those trees.’

  ‘I hope he appreciates the view.’

  ‘Do you like it, Nick?’

  ‘I love it. I think I prefer this side of the lake. I like seeing the Remarkables from a distance instead of having them glowering over my shoulder.’

  ‘There’s any number of great building sites. We’ve got some small patches of forest as well. We love it, don’t we, Sam?’

  ‘We can go bear hunting, Uncle Nick.’

  ‘Absolutely. Would you like to live here, Sam?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why not?”

  ‘It would be too cold,’ Sam said patiently. ‘It’s snowing and there’s no house for us.’

  Fiona laughed as she stood there with Nick’s arms and body shielding her from the icy wind, watching her little boy running around with his mouth open and tongue out, trying to catch snowflakes.

  Was it too soon to feel this happy? This secure?