Fated Memories

by Judith Ann McDowell

  “I wanted you here with me so much, Eathen.” She leaned into his arms. “I was so frightened, and it hurt so bad.”

  “I know, baby. I shouldn’t have left, knowin’ you could give birth any day.” He pulled her body in closer. “Do you forgive me?”

  “Eathen,” she drew back, cradling his broad face in both her hands, “I love you with all my heart. I doubt if there’s anything you could ever do that I couldn’t forgive you for.”

  Dropping his eyes, he pulled her face against his chest, struggling to rise above the guilty feelings threatening to overpower him. Telling himself the loose women with whom he had spent his nights while in Miles City or Helena had nothing to do with his life here.

  “I know it’s hard our bein’ apart, but it won’t be for much longer,” she murmured, breaking into his thoughts.

  “Some things are worth makin’ a few sacrifices for, darlin’. We have a beautiful, healthy little daughter. Maybe by this time next year we’ll be able to give her a strong healthy brother.” Eathen held her at arms-length, smiling into her upturned face. When his wife’s gaze did not meet his, the smile left his face to be replaced with one of worry. “What is it, darlin’? Did somethin’ go wrong with the birth?”

  Pushing away from him, Charlotte turned onto her side. Trying to think how to tell him she wouldn’t be giving him anymore children. For a moment, Eathen stared at her stiff back, trying to understand what had gone wrong between them. Then, unable to stand not knowing, he pulled her back to him.

  “I asked you a question, Charlotte. Did somethin’ go wrong with the birth?”

  “Yes. The baby was turned wrong. But that’s not why I don’t want to have any more children. I’ve made up my mind I’ll never go through that much pain again. I can’t,” she cried.

  “Is that all?” Eathen laughed, relieved as he peered into her damp, red-rimmed eyes. “Honey, you just gave birth. It’s gonna take time to forget the pain. I’m sure in a few months everythin’s gonna be all right.”

  “No, Eathen, it won’t.” Her voice rose to add strength to her decision. “I’ve made up my mind. It ain’t open for discussion.”

  “Do you mind tellin’ me how you intend to keep from gettin’ pregnant again?” His voice took on a steely edge.

  “I haven’t thought that far yet.”

  “No, Charlotte, I guess you haven’t!” He pushed himself off the bed to stand staring down at her. The guilt he had been feeling earlier dissolved.

  “I intend to speak to Doc Nebinger about how to keep myself safe,” she said, not looking at him.

  “Don’t bother. If you don’t want me to touch you anymore, it won’t be a problem. There are plenty of females willin’ to share my bed.”

  With real fear in her swollen eyes, she turned, unable to believe he could have said such terrible words to her. Then her pride took over and she screamed at him. “If that’s all you care about, Eathen Thornton, then go back to your Miles City whores. See if I care!”

  “Thanks for your permission, Charlotte. Now every time I get laid elsewhere, I won’t have to feel so goddamn guilty!” Eathen snatched up his hat and suit coat before slamming out of the room.

  In shock, Charlotte remained lying in the bed alone, the truth of his words making her tremble. For years she had wondered if Eathen had cheated on her while he was gone from her side. Now she knew, but the knowing didn’t make it any easier to accept.

  The slight creaking of the bedroom door drew her attention, and she looked up to see Hattie watching her.

  “Yes, Hattie, what is it?”

  “Ah guess Mist’ Eathen done changed his mine bout sleepin’ in hyrah wid you an’ Miss Jessie. He jes’ tole me ter git a room ready fer him.” She eyed Charlotte.

  “Things have changed, Hattie.” Charlotte busied her shaking hands with a stray wisp of hair falling into her face. “We thought he’d be more comfortable in another room.”

  After closing the door with a firm click, Hattie walked over to seat her large bulk on the side of the bed. “You tole him you ain’ plannin’ on havin’ any mo’ youngin’s, din’ you, Miz Charlotte?”

  Unable to lie, she nodded.

  “Why’d you go an do dat? You doan even know effin dat’s whut you really wants right now. Could be, you’s jes’ sufferin’ from all de changes takin’ place inside yo’ body.” Hattie rubbed a large hand up and down Charlotte’s arm. “Womens awways mizable affer da gives birth.”

  “It ain’t important now, Hattie. He’s been sleepin’ with other women. I can’t overlook that.” She threw back one side of the heavy covers, pulling at the bulky gown that had bunched itself around her waist. Finally she gave up, lifting her hips to allow Hattie to pull the gown down for her. As she flipped the coverlets back across the bed, she declared, “I always wondered if he cheated. Now I know.”

  “W’en a woman specs her man a bein’ wid other womens, da awready knows in da’s heart it be de truth. Ah sho twouln’t lets it breaks up mah fam’ly though, effin Ah’s you.”

  “Are you sayin’ I should take him back after he just admitted sleepin’ with those filthy women in Miles City?” Charlotte screeched, sitting straight up in bed.

  “Doan go gitten’ yo’seff all upset, Miz Charlotte.” Hattie tried to push her down in the bed. “Yo’s gwing ter spoils yo’ milk acken’ lak dis. Now lays back down in dat bed lak a good gal, an quiets yo’seff.”

  “I refuse to let him back in this bed when he’s been screwin’ God knows what!” Charlotte squealed wiggling her shoulders out of the way each time Hattie grabbed for her. “I got my pride, Hattie! As far as I’m concerned, that’s the end of it!”

  “Good Gawdlmighty!” Hattie lifted herself off the bed. “Ah swears you two’s gwing ter driv me ter mah grabe.” She shook her head in disbelief. “You’s filled ter de brim wid pride, til kain nuthin or nobody git thoo ter you. Doan you knows dat men awways think wid da’s peckers fust, an da’s brains las’? Ah ain’ gwing stan’ by an bes quiet til you gots Miss Jessie’s life ruint needer!” she told her, her large shoulders squared with determination as she made her way towards the door.

  “Where are you goin’? You are not to talk to Eathen about this! I forbid it! Do you hear me, Hattie?” She beat her small fists against the coverlets. “I forbid it!”

  “Yas’m, Miz Charlotte. Ah heerd you, but ah ain’ lis’n. Effen yo’s gwing ack lak a chile, den dat’s jes’ how Ah’s gwing treat you.” Hattie closed the door on any further argument.

  ***

  Seated before a crackling fire, Eathen had just lifted a snifter of brandy to his lips when he felt the presence of someone else nearby. Turning toward the doorway he saw Hattie watching him. “Come on in and have a drink with me, Hattie.” He waved her forward.

  “Ah ain’ in de mood fer no drink, Mist’ Eathen. Whut Ah is in de mood fer is talkin’. An’ talkin’ we’s gwing do!”

  “You got somethin’ on your mind, Hattie? Eathen asked, all laughter gone now from his voice.

  “Yassuh, Mist’ Eathen, Ah sho does.” She walked over to stand before him.

  “Then let’s hear it.” He threw his head back, swallowing the last of his drink.

  Placing her hands on her ample hips, she looked the big man square in his eyes. “Mist’ Eathen, I knows all bout dem womens you been cahyin’ on wid w’en you’s gone frum here.” She shook her finger at him. “An’ doan you trys ter denys it needer!”

  Sputtering and coughing, Eathen tried to draw a deep breath to no avail, until Hattie handed him a glass of water from off the small portable bar standing nearby. Slamming the empty glass down on the table he bellowed. “Now just you wait a goddamn minute!”

  “Doan you be takin’ de Lawd’s name in vain!” Hattie warned him, her eyes wide with the importance of the moment. “Ah gots sumpin’ ter says, an yo’s gwing heers it.”

  “If you wanna keep your job,” Eathen warned, “you’ll drop this subject right now!”

  “You ain’ gwi
ng fiah me, Mist’ Eathen, an’ we both knows it.” Her dark brows lifted as she stared him down. “Der ain’ nobody ‘lse who’d put up w’id yo’ bad seff.”

  “Don’t get too cocky,” he nodded, “or there just might be.”

  “Mist’ Eathen, you really hu’t Miz Charlotte by tellin’ her bout dem other womens,” she told him, the anger gone now from her deep voice. “An’ Ah knows whut she tole you bout not havin’ anymore youngin’s.”

  “Well, if she told you that,” Eathen leaned forward in his chair, “did she also tell you why?”

  Hattie spread her hands wide. “She kin’t very well tells me sumpin she doan knows de answer ter herseff.”

  “What the hell’s that suppose to mean?” Eathen demanded his patience at an end.

  “Mist’ Eathen,” Hattie seated herself in the chair next to his, took his hand into her own, “she jes’ had a baby. She had a hard time of it too.” Her eyes widened. “Lil Miss Jessie wuz tuhned wrong. Affer gwing throo all dat, you kain spects her ter think bout havin’ mo’.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Side’s dat, it gwing tek w’ile fore she be able ter think straight. Jes’ gives her time, Mist’ Eathen.” Hattie patted the hand she held in hers. “Eve’ything’s gwing bes awright.”

  “I hope so, Hattie. And you’re right.” He gave the hand holding his a quick squeeze before pulling away. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. But when she told me she didn’t want any more of my children, I just let fly with the first thought that popped into my head. I’ll go up now and talk to her.” He started to rise from his chair.

  “Mist’ Eathen,” Hattie placed a firm, yet gentle hand on his arm. “I doan think ah’d go up jes’ yit. Miz Charlotte bes mouty upset still. Why doan you gives her a chance ter cools off a lil? Den later on dis evenin’ you can trys tellin’ her whut’s on yo’ mine.”

  “All right, Hattie. I’ll try it your way.” Eathen slumped back in his chair. “But only if you have that drink with me.”

  “Affer whut Ah jes’ went throo, Ah’ll have two or three wid you.” She took the glass Eathen handed to her.

  “To Jessie Victoria Thornton.” Eathen held his glass high. “May she always make me as proud of her in the days to come, as I am right at this moment.

  Chapter Six

  The next day was Sunday and also Jessie’s birthday. She would be a whole three-months-old. In honor of the momentous occasion, Eathen planned a large barbecue with the entire county in attendance. The rift between him and Charlotte still had not been breached, but Eathen made up his mind not to let it destroy his marriage. The love in his heart for his only child helped cement the decision.

  “Hattie, make sure there’s plenty of liquor set out on the tables tomorrow. I want this to be a party everyone enjoys.” Eathen gave her a jovial wink.

  “In dat case, ah sho hopes Mist’ Frank bes de las’ ter arrives. Effen he ain’, den we’s in fer a heap a tawment.”

  “I’ll make sure he behaves himself. Frank’s big, but he ain’t too big I can’t handle him.” He laced his thumbs through the belt loops of his jeans as he rocked his large body from heel to toe. “Naw. You ain’t got nothin’ to worry about, Hattie.”

  “Ah doan unnerstan’ why der has ter be liquor in de fust place. Dis spos ter be a burfday pahty fer lil Miss Jessie. Effen you ast me, disyere’s jes’ a excuse fer all yo’ wuthless friends to gobble up ever’ything on de place.”

  “Now, Hattie,” Eathen turned a keen eye on her generous girth, “I could invite half the population of Montana and we still wouldn’t need to worry about goin’ hungry. I appreciate all the work you’ve done gettin’ ready for this shin-dig. This is gonna be a big day for this family. A man gets but one chance to show off his firstborn.”

  “Well, awright,” she conceded. “I guess one day kain hu’t nuthin. It’ll bes hard, but Ah guess Ah kin git thoo it.”

  “I wasn’t plannin’ on lettin’ you take care of all them people by yourself, Hattie.” He placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Mrs. Sanchez is gonna allow her daughter, Anna, to help out.”

  “Mist’ Eathen,” she stared at him, her eyes wide with puzzlement, “how you spects me ter unnerstan’ her?”

  “You’ll figure it out, Hattie.” His wide shoulders shook with amusement as he walked out across the neatly trimmed lawn. “I got faith in you.”

  They had finished setting the large platters of fried chicken, oversized bowls of baked beans, corn, and steaming boiled potatoes on the wooden tables set up in a row beneath the large oaks, when much to her dismay, Hattie spied the McKennahs walking across the yard towards her.

  “Ah jes’ knowed dey’d be de fust ter git hyrah.” Hattie lifted a towel from around the first pan of cornbread. “Dat Mist’ Frank’s gwing ter gits drunk an’ ruin eve’ything.”

  “Hush, Hattie, they’ll hear you,” Charlotte murmured.

  “Ah knows, Ah should bes ‘tendin’ to mah own bizness.” She swatted a curious bee away from the cornbread. “Ah jes’ hates ter sees Miss Jessie’s pahty ruint.”

  “Eathen’ll keep him in line,” Charlotte told her, running a damp towel around the rim of a jar of dill pickles before pulling the next jar forward. “I don’t care for him any more than you do, but Sarah’s my best friend and I won’t have her feelin’s hurt by not invitin’ them.” She took the jars of sweet pickles Hattie held out to her. “Now, hush. Here they come.”

  “I sure hope Eathen had the good sense to put more’n one hog on the spit. If he didn’t,” the beefy man guffawed, running a freckled hand through his dark red hair, “he’s gonna have a lotta hungry people here.”

  “There’ll be plenty to go around, Frank. Just like always.” Charlotte looked beyond him to where a tall gaunt woman stood watching them. “I’m glad you could come, Sarah.” She continued wiping the rims of the jars. “Can you tell how much Jessie’s grown since you saw her last?”

  “I sure can,” she dropped a kiss on her fingers then tapped them atop the head of the laughing baby lying on the blanketed ground beneath a shade tree. Turning, Sarah picked up a nearby towel and pulled a jar of pickles forward.

  “Just what the hell do you think you’re doin’?” Frank roared.

  In an instant the smile vanished and the dull brown eyes darted to meet Charlotte’s, before Sarah turned to face her husband. “I was just helpin’ Charlotte get the food ready, Frank.”

  “No, hell you ain’t.” Frank shook his head, his already ruddy complexion deepening as he glared at her. “Do you see a drink or a plate of food in my hand, woman?”

  “I’m sorry, Frank.” Sarah pushed a straying wisp of mousy brown hair back behind her ear.

  “You’re damn right you are.” Frank jabbed a meaty thumb in the direction of the over-laden tables. “Now, get your scrawny butt over there and get me some food!”

  “Yes, Frank. I’ll bring you a plate right away.” Sarah bobbed her head, dragging sweaty palms down the front of her dark brown gingham dress as she hastened to get her husband a plate of food.

  “You know, Frank,” Charlotte eyed him with open distain, “it wouldn’t hurt you to wait on yourself once in a while. With that gut hangin’ over your belt,” she poked a finger into the soft bulge, “it’s plain to see you could use the exercise.”

  Slapping the protruding belly beneath his new white-linen shirt, Frank’s wide mouth curled into an open grin. “‘Fore I leave here today it’s gonna be a lot bigger. Providin’ that is,” he wiggled his bushy brows, “Eathen stocked enough liquor.”

  Aiming a warning look at Hattie as she started around the table, Charlotte cut loose her anger. “This party’s for Jessie, Frank. If you’re plannin’ on gettin’ drunk and makin’ an ass of yourself, you can leave Sarah here and be on your way.”

  “I ain’t plannin’ on makin’ no trouble.” The devilish gleam left his hooded eyes. “Sarah and me and Little Frank just come to pay our respects and admire that new youngin’s all.”

  A quick glance to
the nearby tables where a red-haired, freckled-face boy clung to Sarah’s arm had Charlotte softening her voice. “All right, but I mean what I say, Frank. Eathen’s givin’ this barbecue to introduce everyone to our new daughter. We won’t stand for any trouble.”

  “Consider me told, Charlotte.” Frank smiled, hiking his jeans higher on his hips before reaching out to accept the plate of food his wife held out to him.

  “I apologize for my husband’s rudeness, Charlotte,” Sarah said, taking Jessie from Charlotte as they walked down the slight knoll leading to the house.

  “No need. Frank’ll be all right.” She stooped, righting Little Frank’s string tie beneath the collar of his light blue shirt, being careful not to spill the plate of food he held in his hands.

  As soon as the women were gone, Frank set the untouched plate of food down on the table. Spying the well-stocked liquor table, he started walking in that direction when his hazel eyes fell on a young Mexican girl talking with Hattie. Running a moist tongue over lips gone dry, his dark gaze slid over her ripe body, lingering on the high full breasts and rounded hips.

  “This could turn out to be a pleasurable day after all.” He curled both sides of his shaggy red mustache into place.

  “Well now, little señorita,” he said, leering at the beautiful girl standing beside Hattie and moving his white straw hat in a jaunty sweep before him, “why don’t you join me in some of this good whiskey while we get acquainted?”

  Shaking her dark head in refusal, Anna, the young Mexican girl Eathen had hired to help Hattie, started to turn away, but McKennah reached out taking hold of her arm. “Now you don’t wanna be that way,” Frank told her, lifting a full bottle of whiskey off the table. Without loosening his hold on the girl’s arm, he poured the whiskey into a nearby glass. “We’re just gonna have a nice little drink.”

  “Mist’ Frank, you better git yo’ han’s off dat youngin,” Hattie told him, holding a heavy kettle poised and ready, “befo’ Ah lays one of dese pots up side yo’ haid.”