Supernova

by Kate Stacy

  No one is saying anything.

  Suddenly, Holden is out of his chair again, keys in hand.

  “Let’s go, Jax.”

  The look he shoots me. The gleam in his eyes. Oh, fuck yeah.

  “Holden…where are you going?” Cami asks.

  “To protect my family.”

  Presley inserts herself between him and the door.

  “Don’t let your emotions rule you, Holden. You can’t just storm in there and start throwing punches…”

  “The hell I can’t! That’s my baby sister, Presley. That’s your sister. You want me to just stand by and let this shit happen? Fuck that!”

  His body is visibly vibrating with anger. Hands shaking. Jaw clenched. He’s barely holding it together and I’m not faring much better.

  Cami reaches out to touch his arm. “You’re only going to make it worse. This is exactly what Madalyn didn’t want. Storming over there isn’t the way to handle this.”

  He shoots her a glare. “And what? Would you rather me sit by and do nothing? Go about my day while some asshole is beating my baby sister? Promise her I won’t tell anyone like you did? What the fuck do you want me to do, Camille? Tell me.”

  She flinches, his words cutting deep.

  Presley comes to her defense. “Don’t be an asshole or we’re leaving. Sit down and listen before you go off half-cocked and make Mads push us all away again.”

  Sitting down is the last thing he wants to do. I get it. I was right behind him on the way out that door, but the girls are probably right.

  “Let’s hear them out, man.”

  He looks at me, takes a deep breath, and nods his head. “Okay.”

  Presley is the calmest of any of us, so Camille nods for her to start.

  “We don’t like this any more than you do, trust me. What you were about to do? That’s why Madalyn won’t tell you. Why she made us promise not to tell you. In her mind...she’s protecting you.”

  “How the—”

  “Let me finish.” She waits for him to settle, then continues. “Madalyn’s worried you’ll end up hurt, or in jail. She doesn’t want that. But all that aside...her head is all screwed up. For whatever reason...she thinks she deserves what he’s doing. We didn’t get much out of her because like you, Camille got pissed and started yelling. Madalyn pulled into herself when that happened. She insisted she can handle things and that it’s not that bad. Obviously, she’s full of shit, but it’s a fucked-up situation and has to be handled delicately. You can’t just rush in and pull her out of there.”

  Holden interrupts again. “I sure as hell can. I will. I won’t leave her there with that motherfucker. Over my dead body.”

  “I hate it, Holden. I hate it, but she has to want to leave him. There’s no other way. I don’t know what he’s doing to her. I don’t know how deep the abuse is, but the fact that she thinks she deserves it says enough. It’s a decision only she can make because if she’s not ready...she’ll keep going back to him.”

  “My take on the little she did tell us...she’s using his abuse as a punishment for something.” Cami adds. “I can’t see Madalyn ever doing anything that would make her think she deserves this type of punishment, but it’s not something for us to understand. As much as it sucks, all we can do is be there for her. Give her unconditional love and support. Make her see that she doesn’t have to take this shit. That she deserves better. Hope and pray that she sees the truth and decides to leave him. If not...she’ll pull away and we might lose her for good this time.”

  Her eyes turn to me when she speaks those last words. We’re all thinking about when Madalyn left town. I wasn’t the only one who lost her for those two years.

  “I fucking hate what you’re saying, but deep down I know you’re right. This is an impossible situation. It hurts like hell to know she’s dealing with this shit on her own. I’m supposed to protect y’all from shit like this.”

  Knowing that Madalyn is being abused and there’s absolutely nothing we can do fucking hurts. It’s a soul-deep pain that will eat away at all of us the more time goes by. Unlike her siblings, I’m useless. I can’t be there for her the way they can. She won’t let me near her. It kills me to know that the woman I love is being hurt by the man she chose over me.

  “Maybe we should just go to the police,” I suggest.

  “I thought about that, too. But it wouldn’t do any good. Unless she’s ready to admit the truth and leave him, going to the police may do more harm than good. Why do you think we didn’t?”

  “There’s got to be something more we can do.”

  Solemnly, she shakes her head. “We wait.”

  I’ve never hated two words more.

  I may not be able to do anything about it right now without endangering Madalyn, but one day...one day David will get what’s coming to him. I’ll make sure of it.

  (Seven months later)

  Sitting alone in the bathroom, staring down at the little white stick in my hand, I have a hard time catching my breath.

  No, no, no….no. This cannot be happening.

  Those two pink lines mock me.

  Hastily swiping the tears from my cheeks, I grab the other box from the counter and rip open the box. This first one has to be wrong. It has to be.

  False positives happen, right?

  Through a mess of tears, I pee on the second stick. The digital test I bought just in case. The instructions say to wait for at least two minutes, but I don’t have to. It’s right there in unmistakable lettering.

  Pregnant.

  People always say that life won’t give you anything more than you can handle. My life has been one big series of hurdles, but this...this I can’t handle. This is practically a death sentence.

  My relationship with David is already volatile. He’s angry, violent, and unpredictable. And that’s on a good day. Other days, he’s the worst kind of nightmare. I’ve wanted to leave—so many times—but I can’t. Not only has he threatened my life, he’s threatened to hurt the ones that I love. I could never forgive myself if that happened.

  Avoiding his anger is impossible and this new development will only make things worse. If he finds out I’m pregnant it will send him careening over the edge. There’s no coming back from this.

  Over the course of our marriage he’s made one thing explicitly clear.

  Absolutely no children. Ever.

  He’ll kill me if he finds out.

  The thought instantly sobers me.

  I have to get the fuck out of here.

  I’ve spent too much time on the receiving end of his abuse. I could never chance subjecting a child to it, to him. Though I fear it would never get that far. If I know my husband at all, the baby wouldn’t survive the pregnancy. David would make sure of it.

  I can’t let that happen. I’ve lost one baby already and it almost broke me. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I’m not sure I could survive another loss.

  I need to leave, but I can’t just walk out the door. It’s not that simple.

  It’s going to take a little time and planning, but somehow, I’ll find a way to get free of him.

  I have no choice.

  Our lives depend on it.

  Today is the day.

  It’s been two weeks since I found out I’m pregnant. Two extremely long weeks of walking on eggshells, of trying to avoid David’s fists and anger. Two weeks of secrets and lies while I devised a plan to get me and my baby to safety.

  Today...we’re free.

  I’ve got a bag packed with only necessities. Money isn’t an issue thanks to Grams insisting I keep a separate bank account for the bakery. My saving grace is the file tucked safely in the bottom of my bag. The file containing photographs and written statements of every incident with David. Every fight. Every time he raised his hands to me. Every single fucking time he’s touched me when I’ve told him no. It’s my insurance policy. My guarantee that he’ll have no choice but to grant me a divorce. I’ve
been compiling evidence against him for the last six months.

  It may have seemed hopeless that I would ever get out, but it wasn’t.

  Somehow, I held onto the hope that one day I’d be free of him.

  Today is that day.

  Taking advantage of his early shift at the restaurant, I quickly gather my things and head for the door. I don’t look back as I leave. There are no happy memories here. I’m leaving my pain and suffering behind.

  I drive to The Sweet Spot like it’s another normal day.

  When I arrive, Hailee is waiting for me with a smile on her face. She helps me transfer my meager belongings from my car to hers. Handing me her keys, she nods as I slide into the driver’s seat.

  “Thank you,” I tell her, my voice cracking with emotion.

  She throws me a wink. “See ya in a bit.”

  Hailee has been a godsend. When she suspected the abuse, she offered me a safe haven with no questions asked. I guess she knew that one day I would come to my senses and finally leave David. She was right. I only wish I hadn’t waited so long. Better late than never.

  I can’t leave town without any explanation, and aside from my sisters my family remains unaware. The plan is to hide in plain sight. Blackwood is a small town, so it’s not like I don’t expect David to find me, but I’m hoping to have some time to collect myself and go through the proper channels before he can make a move. It’s the only way I can protect myself, and the baby growing inside of me that still no one knows about.

  I drive straight to Hailee’s apartment and let myself in using her key. She promised to meet me here in a couple hours. I have the difficult task of calling my brother. It’s time to let him know what’s going on. Hailee promised to be my strength and moral support, to hold my hand while I tell my brother the horrendous details of my marriage.

  I’m a coward, doing it over the phone, but I can’t look my brother in the eyes while I tell him my husband has been beating me our entire marriage, and raping me almost as long. I can’t bear to see his disgust and disappointment when he realizes what I’ve become.

  Standing in front of the mirror in Hailee’s bathroom, I can finally breathe.

  Taking in my reflection, I don’t recognize the woman staring back at me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t understand how I could let him abuse me for so long. I feel dirty, damaged...pathetic.

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  With a force I didn’t know I possessed, I slap my hand against the mirror and the glass shatters, raining down in glittering shards all over the bathroom.

  “Shit!” I yell, looking at all the broken pieces.

  It takes me a minute to even realize that I’m bleeding. I’ve got nicks and cuts all over my palm. Turning on the tap, I run my hand under the water to rinse away the blood. I don’t see any glass stuck in my hand, so there’s that. I wrap a towel around my hand, grab the trash can and start cleaning up the glass.

  “Mads? Please tell me you’re here?” Hailee calls out, her voice muffled by the closed door.

  “In the bathroom!” I holler back.

  I finish cleaning the mess I made and head out to talk to Hailee.

  “Hey Hails. I owe you a new hand towel for your bathroom.” She quirks a brow and looks down at my hand. “I’ll also pay to replace your mirror. I...um...had a moment.”

  The confusion clears from her expression as she puts two and two together.

  “No worries, Mads. I’m just glad you’re here and finally safe. I know the apartment is small, but you can stay as long as you need.”

  She’s sweet to offer, but I can’t accept it.

  She just had a baby a few months ago. My being here puts both of them in danger if David finds out. He’s not going to be happy when he realizes I’ve left. I know that without a doubt. What I don’t know is what he’s going to do about it. I love her for her generosity, but I won’t put her in that position. I won’t endanger her and the baby.

  “I appreciate that, Hails. You’ve done so much to help me and I’m grateful to have you in my life, but I can’t stay here. I’m scared of what would happen if David found out and showed up here. I don’t want him to hurt you, or worse, Elijah. As much as I don’t want to, it’s time to call my brother and tell him what’s going on.”

  Biting her lip, she nods. “He can protect you better than I can. Just remember that I’m always here for you...for anything you need.”

  I wrap her in a hug. “You’re the best, Hails. Thank you for everything.”

  I met her less than a year ago, but Hailee has become a big part of my life. I dubbed her my best friend less than a month after she came to Blackwood and our friendship has only gotten stronger. I may already have two, but she’s my sister in every way that counts. I don’t know what I’d do without her love, understanding, and support.

  Hailee offering me a safe place for the in between means everything, but it’s time to pull my big girl panties up and call my brother.

  This isn’t going to be an easy conversation to have, but I need him.

  More than I’ve ever needed him before.

  Owning a bar is awesome, but inventory fucking sucks.

  Unfortunately, it’s a necessary evil and we do it monthly. At least I’m not suffering alone. Holden always makes sure he’s here to help me. Couldn’t have picked a better guy as my business partner.

  I’m finishing up the counts on the last few cases of tequila when Holden’s phone rings. He pulls it from his pocket, silences the call, and puts it back.

  “Nobody important?” I ask.

  Shaking his head, he continues counting. “Don’t recognize the number.”

  It rings again and I look over at him.

  “Same number. The fuck?” he murmurs. Sliding his thumb across the screen, he puts the phone to his ear, “Hello?”

  Being the nosy fuck that I am, I keep an eye on him as I finish my counts. All I hear is one side of the conversation.

  “Oh, hey sis. Whose phone are you calling from?”

  “Why do you have a different number?”

  “Mads...you know you can talk to me about anything. Baby girl, please don’t cry.”

  My curiosity is officially piqued.

  “Where are you? I’ll come to you.”

  “Okay...okay...I’m listening. No, I won’t say a word until you’re done. I promise.”

  “Mads, please tell me what’s going on. I’ve never heard you like this before.”

  Holden goes silent, listening intently to whatever Madalyn is telling him.

  Inventory is all but forgotten when Holden’s brows draw down. His hands ball into fists and he’s biting his lip so hard it’s bleeding. He’s keeping his promise not to say a word, but whatever she’s telling him...he’s about to lose his shit.

  I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m on edge as I watch Holden’s physical reactions. When tears start streaming down his face, I know it’s fucking serious. My spine stiffens and I move closer to him, trying to hear even the slightest bit of what she’s saying. Holden’s eyes dart to mine and they’re fucking black. Holy shit. It’s bad. It’s really fucking bad.

  Holden doesn't talk about Madalyn much to me anymore. He knows that she's still a sore subject for me, especially when we found out that her husband abuses her. Knowing that she chose him over me and continued choosing him even after he physically hurt her...it was a major blow that I still haven't recovered from.

  He knows that. He has told me though, that she's pulled away from everyone again. The last six months or so, she's barely talked to her family at all. They only see her when they drop in the bakery and that's only because she can't avoid them there.

  This phone call is out of the blue. She hasn't willingly talked to him in months. I can only hope that she's finally being honest with him. From the looks of him—his entire body coiled with tension—and the rage I can feel radiating from him...that's exactly what's happening.

  At this point, after ev
erything I've dealt with, I shouldn't give a fuck about Madalyn. But for some godforsaken reason...I can't let go. I can't put her out of my head, or out of my heart. I love her today every bit as much as I loved her years ago.

  I focus my attention back on Holden. He's still listening intently, his eyes blazing with fury. She talks for a few more minutes and finally, he speaks.

  "Don't move a fucking muscle. I'll be right there."

  He ends the call, slides the phone in his pocket, and grabs my keys off the desk.

  He looks me dead in the eyes.

  "Let's go. I'll explain on the way."

  He doesn't have to fucking tell me twice.

  Whatever Madalyn said to him, he's shaking with rage. We take my truck, because he's in no condition to drive after talking to his sister. He tells me where Hailee lives, and we pull out of the bar parking lot.

  Holden doesn't waste time; he tells me everything.

  "It's worse than we thought, man. So much fucking worse."

  I suck in a breath, knowing I won't like whatever he says next.

  "We knew he's been hitting her. She admitted that to the girls. But it's not a slap here or there, like I thought. He's been beating her unconscious. Breaking bones. He's been ra—" He chokes out a sob. "Raping her. He fucking rapes my baby sister, Jax."

  I slam my fist down on the steering wheel, pure unadulterated rage taking over. My jaw clenches, teeth grinding with the force. "I'm gonna kill this motherfucker, Hold." I grit out. "I'm gonna tear him to pieces and they'll never find his fucking body."

  "I'm supposed to protect her. Why wouldn't she come to me? Why did she keep this shit hidden for so long? My fucking baby sister…"

  Holden is losing it, completely falling apart. I've never seen him like this, but he shouldn't be blaming himself.

  "It's not your fault, bro. I love Madalyn, you know I do, but she's a grown ass woman. She made the choice to stay with him, to lie and keep secrets. That's not on you. You can't protect her from everything, especially when you don't know she needs protection."