by Kailin Gow
“I’m really sorry about ruining your night,” I said as I gently pulled away. Suddenly dizzy I felt the need to sit down. “How awful it must have been for you.”
He led me to the armchair by the window and knelt before me.
“You’d been waiting for that evening for so long… only to have to cut it short because of me.”
“You’re overestimating the importance of the formal. The only thing important about that evening was being with you… and whether that was holding you in my arms as we danced or escorting you home when you didn’t feel well, that’s where I wanted to be.”
He held my hand in his and brought each fingertip to his lips. “What happened that night? One minute you were kissing me like you never wanted to stop, and the next you were completely out.”
“That’s what I was going to ask you. What happened?”
He paused a long moment, a wave of pain sweeping across his eyes for a second before he brought a concerned smile to wipe it away. “You went limp… all of a sudden… for no apparent reason. I thought you would come to after a moment or two, but when you didn’t I knew I had to bring you home. I thought maybe you’d been slipped something… a drug, or something in your drink.”
“I’ve never had anything like that happen to me before; to be so totally knocked out. I think it was something bigger than just a drug.”
“What do you think could have caused you to go out so quickly? You must have some idea.”
I turned to look out the window and watched the birds fluttering around, skittering from one tree branch to another. Suddenly envious, I wanted a moment of knowing what it could be to have a life so easy and carefree; to not have to worry what people might think… to wonder what a boy would say if he learned I was a demon fighter.
Braxton’s squeeze of my hand brought my gaze back to him. I looked him straight in the eye, gauging his ability to understand what was truly going on in my life.
“Even if I told you, you’d never believe me,” I finally said.
“I’m a lot more open-minded then I might let on.” He smiled that gentle and understanding smile that I’ve gotten to love. “I’ve seen a lot more in my life than you might imagine. I lost my parents not so long ago, and for what reason, but a freak accident, and I’ve seen quite a bit of strange things before then. It takes quite a bit to leave me shocked or in disbelief.”
“I’m sorry Brax, you never told me about your parents. What happened?” I reached out my hand to touch his shoulder.
Brax cleared his throat. “They disappeared, just vanished. Couldn’t even find a trace of them, after months of searching…”
I lifted my eyebrow and squeezed his hand.
“Finally they gave up, and I was told to move on. That’s when my uncle appeared and moved me here.”
“That’s very harsh. I’m sorry. I’ve always had my parents with me, and I can’t imagine losing any of them.” I leaned in to kiss his cheek.
Brax went on. “You know the most bizarre thing is…it didn’t surprise me as much as it should.”
My eyes widened, as I asked, “Why?”
“Because Lux, my parents had always been involved in similar incidents like theirs – they were investigators, paranormal ones.”
“Oh,” I said.
“Trust me, Lux. Just give it a try and trust me. Growing up with parents like mine could make anyone believe there was something beyond what everyone sees every day.” He rose to his knees and pulled me closer. His fingers raked through my sleep-tousled hair and he pulled me closer still, bringing our lips just a whisper away. “I’m here for you.”
His lips covered mine, bringing with them sensuality wrapped up in such love and security. In my heart I knew I could trust him, knew he’d always be strong for me. I wanted to open up to him, to let him in on my secret. I was so tired of keeping it to myself.
My lips parted, welcoming him, hungering for more of his touch. He kissed me more passionately and my head reeled, at first from the monumental sense of pleasure he brought me, but it was quickly dashed by a vision of Moore.
I concentrated and pushed the vision from my mind, but it was persistent, insistent in its quest to ruin this precious moment with Brax.
“No,” I finally said, panting from the disturbance. “I can’t.”
His eyes wide with surprise and dismay, Brax sat back on his heels. “What’s going on?”
I struggled to my feet and walked away from his questioning gaze.
“Lux,” he called after me, his voice soft and confused. He got to his feet.
Though I stared out the window, I could see him, standing there in the pain of my rejection.
“I don’t want to push myself on you, Lux. I thought you felt something for me, but every time I get close to you, you back away.”
“It’s not you, Brax. I like you, really I do.”
“Then, what?”
“It’s Moore.”
“Again? Damn it, Lux. What’s really going on between you two?”
“Nothing.”
“You obviously have feelings for him if you push me away every time I kiss you because he’s the one you’re thinking of.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Do you like him?”
I leaned into the window, letting the cool glass soothe my heated brow. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I don’t know what I feel.”
The sound of his breath, labored and pained, reached my ears and broke my heart.
“You’re attracted to him.”
“He has an unearthly beauty, just like Shayne.”
“And that’s what you're drawn to?
I glimpsed his reflection in the window, the tensing of his jaw, the quick lick of his lips and the unmistakable anger that reached his fingertips as he pulled them fiercely through his hair.
Just when I thought he would walk up to me, shake Moore out of my head, he turned and stepped away. Feeling the floor drop out from under me, I turned to him.
As he reached the door, he glanced at me. “You know, I really do like you, Lux. I even think I may feel a lot more for you than that…I’m not even sure I know what it is about you, but from the first moment I saw you…” He stopped, and looked away, swallowed then continued. “If your heart is with someone else, I’m not going to press you to feel something for me. I won’t put you through that.”
“Braxton, don’t go.”
His hand on the doorknob, he stared at the floor.
“I don’t know what I feel for Moore. He has a hold on me, drawing me in and pulling me into our own exclusive and private universe. I don’t understand this pull he has on me. Give me a chance to get this all cleared in my head.”
Turning away in exasperation, I called out. “Where is Lothario when I need him?”
“Lothario? Who is that?”
“My guardian.” The moment I’d spoken, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back as I realized I’d actually said it aloud.
“What do you mean? Like your parents? Like my uncle?”
“Oh, you know. Everyone has a guardian angel.” I turned to him and smiled playfully. “I call mine Lothario.”
“This isn’t something to joke about, Lux.” Suddenly serious, he left the door and came to me. “Angels aren’t a laughing matter. An angel named Lothario… magnificent with wings that reach from his shoulders to his toes.”
Frowning with uncertainty, I stared at him. “What... What are you saying?”
He walked around me and stood before Grandmother’s steamer trunk. “I saw one once.”
“Saw what?” I dared asked.
“I was little, maybe three or four. I didn’t really understand what I was seeing; I just remember being mesmerized by it. Then I didn’t see anything for years. Actually I didn’t see anything like that until I saw you. Right away, I saw the glow that emanated from you. And it really has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I mean, I sensed it before I even spoke to you.”
He turned away and pressed his fingers to his brow before turning to me again. “When I went inside the house, that first day after I saw you pass by, he was there.”
My heart pounded in my ears as I waited for him to go on.
“An angel, not the delicate little flying things so many people imagine, but this huge, gladiator-like warrior, easily reaching two feet above me… and his wings… I was completely awestruck.”
“What did he say?” I sat on the edge of my bed, reached for my comforter and fingered the edge as I listened to him, riveted to his every word.
“That I was to meet a girl, a girl who’d change my life.” He came and sat beside me, his strong shoulder leaning into mine as he looked sheepishly at me. “I think that girl might be you, or at least, I want it to be you.” He reached over to hold my hands in his. “I act like I have everything under control at school, and everyone thinks I’m this perfect guy, but inside, I’m going through a lot. All that changed when I saw you, met you. You don’t know how much you being here in my life means to me, Lux.”
The desire to kiss him filled me. It felt so good being with him, so natural, yet the fear of the hold Moore had on me kept me from getting closer to Brax. Until I knew more about Moore, I couldn’t allow myself to become more involved with Brax. I had to find out who Moore was. What he was.
Averting Braxton’s gaze, I leaned into him and prepared to beg him to be patient with me, but a loud crash from downstairs made us both start.
Suddenly infused with adrenaline, I rushed to the door and hurried down the tight staircase, Braxton close at my heels. “Mom,” I called from the second floor. “Mom, are you okay?”
My heart was about to pound its way up my throat as I raced down the steps to reach the living room.
“Don’t get all panicked, honey,” Mom said, her voice in a controlled calm. She knelt before the television picking up the pieces of the teapot that had shattered on the hardwood floor. “I just stumbled over that new area rug you father insisted on laying here and dropped my tray.”
While her explanation made sense, it was the familiar figure stooped beside her that didn’t.
“Asher?” I said. “What are you doing here?”
Holding a few shards of ceramic, he seemed just as surprised to see me as I was to see him.
“I, um…” He set the shattered pieces on the coffee table and came to me. “I thought you needed help… needed me.”
“What would make you think that?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around with uncertainty before meeting my gaze again. “You disappeared so suddenly from the formal and a few rumors were out that you were carried out.” His gaze shifted uncomfortably to Brax. “But I see that Braxton is here with you, so I guess…”
“You really have nothing to be worried about. I’m fine.”
Mom finished with her clean up. Her hands filled with the remnants of her favorite teapot, she turned to us. “Would you kids like a soda or something.”
We all muttered our no thanks and she headed to the kitchen.
Asher stepped closer. “Can I talk to you for a second… outside?”
I looked at the remaining mess on the floor and back to Brax. “Do you mind helping my mom with the rest of this? I’ll be right back.”
“Sure.” Brax didn’t look too please at seeing Asher, but he walked over and starting picking up the pieces from the floor.
I led Asher out the front door, but the front porch didn’t satisfy him. He took my hand and guided me down to the sidewalk.
“This isn’t just about me leaving the formal early, is it?”
“No,” Asher said, his eyes wide with alarm. “It’s those dreams again. I saw a girl with a glowing light around her, the girl I believe to be you. She was calling me for help. A mist of dark clouds surrounded her, blocking out the light. I just had to come and see if you were all right.” He gripped my shoulders. “What happened to make you leave the formal?”
I didn’t know how much I should tell him, about Moore, about the way I’ve been feeling since. “I’ve been feeling faint lately… weak. It’s unlike me. I’m usually so strong. I never get sick and I’ve never had fainting spells before.”
“When did it start?”
I hesitated a moment before divulging the entire story. “Since I went to Shayne’s to try on dresses.”
He frowned. “That’s interesting. I’ve always had strange sensations when I’m around Shayne. She’s tried to get close to me in the past, hinted at a possible relationship, but something always held me back.”
“I’m guessing that something isn’t her unbelievable beauty.”
His lopsided grin told me just how attractive he found her. “Naw, it was more like this sense of being preyed upon. I always feel as though she’d devour me if she got her hands on me.”
Reaching out, he traced his finger along my jaw. “Besides, her beauty never captivated me the way yours did. There’s something cold and planned in her beauty, something that just doesn’t sit right. While you, you are the epitome of warmth, love and caring.”
“Asher…”
“Lux,” he whispered as he stepped closer. “I keep dreaming about you. It’s like my life is intertwined with yours. Each dream leaves me feeling closer to you. I know it’s crazy, I know it’s just dreams, but… If only you knew just how selfish I’ve always been. I’ve never cared for anyone other than myself. Then you showed up, in my dreams and in my life. I swear I’ve never cared for another living soul the way I care about you. I’ve tried to deny it and tried to shake it off, but I think of you all the time, worry about you and wonder what you’re up to, if you're all right. I feel the need to protect you, to guard you from what harm, I don’t even know...”
I jerked my head up to look at him, for the first time seeing him as he truly was. Tall, strong and with a soul that radiated something his gruff demeanor and leather duds couldn’t hide… he was my guardian, the very guardian Lothario had mentioned.
“You’re…” I started to say, but caught my breath. If I was wrong he’d think I was a lunatic. Yet he matched perfectly with what Lothario had said; my age, someone I could befriend, grow up with. “You were drawing the statue of the angel the other day.”
“Yeah,” he said, trying to follow my angle.
“Why? What drew you to draw that statue in particular?”
His eyes bore through mine, his guard slightly up. “I don’t know really. There’s something strong about them, even if mortals do depict them rather cartoonish at times. They care about mortals and they do what they can to guard them from evil. But a few of them are fallen angels, angels who are no longer loyal to the Creator. For some reason I’ve become fascinated with them lately.”
“What brought the fascination on?”
“I told you… strange things have been happening lately… things I can’t explain… things that would make me seem crazy to anyone if I dared tell them.”
“Things like what, Asher?” I whispered gently, hoping to coax him out of his secret.
He looked away, gazed down the street then up to the sky. I understood his reluctance. Mortals, for all their talk of God, heaven, angels and demons, seemed forever reluctant to believe when faced with a true angel. I’d had my share of taunts and teasing the few times I’d let slip my encounter with Lothario when younger and too naïve to know better.
I reached out to cover his hands with mine. “Someone has visited you, haven’t they?”
A heavy sigh, almost a sob, escaped him. He nodded, his gaze still held to the sky above.
“A man? Tall? Bright? So large…”
Bringing his gaze to me, I saw that he was finally ready to open up. “So large he barely fit in my bedroom. I’ve tried to tell myself it was a dream, but it was so real, so clear. He said my destiny was entwined with a girl I would soon meet… you.”
“He didn’t happen to mention his name, did he?”
“Yeah.” He bit his lip in concen
tration. “It was a weird name, Lot something.”
I closed my eyes, smiled and squeezed his hands. “Lothario.”
“Yeah, that’s it. How did you know?”
“You’re the one Lothario sent to me.”
He chuckled softly, the sound full of skepticism and doubt. “I don’t get it. Sent me for what?”
“To be my guardian angel, to protect me.” I cocked my head, looking at the undeniable mortal before me. “But you're not an angel. You're a mortal just like me. How are you going to be my guardian angel when you're not even an angel?”
At this he gave an indignant huff. “What, you think I can’t protect you if I’m not an angel?”
“Well, it does put you at a disadvantage. I mean the spiritual forces of evil aren’t all that easy to deal with.” I stopped for a moment, trying to gauge just how much I could trust him with. “Look, I think it’s great that Lothario appointed you to be my guardian, but the truth is that I’m not some damsel in distress, not some Bella Swan who is constantly crying out for help. We’re not just talking about minor little demons here.”
“Okay,” he prompted.
“Asher, I’m a demon hunter. I go after the big game, the demons who attempt to invade this world, and they’re not too delicate about it. These demons are serious about stealing souls. I’ve the senses to pick them out, to spot them from yards away, and once I do I’m all over them. I’m quick, with reflexes that have never failed me and I can…”
He pulled me into his arms, a loving little laugh burrowing to my ear as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck. “And you’ve a soul of pure fire, of sheer delight, with lips so full and luscious, no man can resist the temptation, a fact I’m painfully aware of every time I get close to you.”
His lips pressed against mine, tenderly stoking the flame of tender love to a roaring blaze of passion and longing. I felt his desire, the same intense and unbearable love that riddled my dreams so many times. Could he be the one? The dark shadow that came to me so often only to leave me drained and heartbroken?
