I move to the edge of the concrete wall, laying my head directly to the beveled stone wall. The coolness helps to clear my head so I can brush the last of the tears from my eyes. At first, I was concerned he was going to let my dad die. However, when he started ascending the stair himself... when he climbed out instead of closing the door... I'm scared for a completely different reason.
Please... Please, don't get caught. I repeat over and over, staring at the wall in front of me. My eyes play tricks on me as they stare at the same place on the wall, merging the little flecks of concrete balls and paint into a giant mash together. Why does time always seem to move so slow when we are stuck in this stupid bunker?
"What are you doing?"
My head pops up at this question. Kye is climbing the stair and Jamie is standing with her arms crossed at the base looking positively vexed.
"I want to see what's going on," Kye responds. "Now keep quiet." I'm back to my feet again as I stand next to Jamie, bouncing nervously on my tip toes. Kye pushes the lid open a smidge of the way, peering cautiously out. He must not see anything because he lifts it a bit more.
We hear it, in the distance. The sound of footsteps, lots of them.
"Search the trailer!" someone shouts.
"Sir, yes, sir." A resounding return.
The footsteps strike the ground as Kye keeps watching tentatively out the small crack.
The sound of something large thuds into the ground above and slides across the grass a few more inches.
"Whoa!" he croaks, flinging a hand up to cover his eyes, turning his head to the side. Grass and dirt float down the opening, settling on the floor.
"Come on, go. Let me in!"
The sound of Jake's voice sends a shiver of relief down my spine. Kye climbs down and out of the way as Jake slides into the bunker, rotating the wheel to seal us back in.
"I got it," He smiles, stepping down in front of me. He pulls the paper from his pocket and places it on the thin hanging table. His hands slip back into his pocket again, this time retrieving my necklace. He dangles it in front of me, expecting me to be happy with him.
I am. I throw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, thankful. Thankful that he's okay, thankful that my dad's going to be okay, and thankful that my necklace is not lost. Jake folds his arms around my waist, tucking his head near my ear.
But now that I know he's okay, a new bout of annoyance takes over. As quickly as I flung my arms around him, I yank myself off. To both of our surprise, I slap him across his hard-jawed face, anger flooding my thought process.
"Why-in-the-hell, would you do that?!" I seethe, enunciating every single syllable. His face turning an angry bumpy red where my hand made contact and I can tell he is shifting between confusion and annoyance, himself. He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, "What is wrong with you? You don’t get to go around trying to play hero all the time. Why are treating me like I'm the same weak girl that I was when I first came here?"
His eyes flash in understanding. "Emma, I–"
"No. What gives you the right to have me held back while you go off trying to fix my problems?"
"I–"
"I could have managed it myself. But, of course, instead you had to go on with your... your – God complex and do it for me."
"Emma, will you–"
"No! I don't need you putting yourself in harm's way for me. This was my problem to handle. Mine. Which means it was my life to risk, not yours!"
"Please, stop talking and listen to me!" Jake yells back at me, catching me off-guard and, silencing me instantly. "I don't think you're the same person you were before, Emma. In fact, I know you aren't."
"You know what else I know," he says, holding my gaze intently, bringing himself into me so he's only a few inches away. "I know that you are better than me; You're going to do better things than me. You are making the decision to risk your life for all of ours. And I have no say in that. So, until then, I'm going to do whatever I can to protect you. That way, when you leave, it's going to be on your terms. Not mine, not Thomas' – yours."
My heart is breaking as I look into his eyes, watching the lines of his face move and flash with emotion. I drop my head, looking to the ground, ashamed of myself for carrying on the way I did.
"Emma," he calls my name softly through our silence. I feel his warm hand under my chin as he gently tilts my face up to his. He kisses me. His smooth, soft lips push fervently to mine, hauntingly making me hunger for more. My stomach swoops with butterflies as every inch of me feels completely exhilarated and alive in this moment.
For a brief time, everything else melts away. The bunker, Jamie and Kye, Thomas' betrayal... my resolve. I let myself sink into this feeling. Wanting nothing more than to capture it, locking it in forever.
Jake's arm somehow squeezes me in closer, sending my stomach into backflips.
My heart is screaming at me – Don't leave! Don't let him go. Love doesn't happen every day. Especially now.
"Do they not realize we're still in the room?" Kye says, bringing us back to reality. "Are we this bad in front of them?"
"Yes. You are. And you’re kissing my sister, so it's worse."
I laugh lightly, dropping my head to his warm chest, not ready to let him go yet.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, clinging to him. Part of me thinks I'm apologizing for more than the argument. It seems almost cruel to keep holding on when we both know what I have to do next.
"Me too,” he returns, and I know he’s apologizing for the same reasons as me.
Chapter 33
The counter creaks under us, as we all hover around its laminate top, listening to the speaker Jake and Kye set up moments ago. A long, thin black cord stems out from it, turning around the corner and reaching up the stairs out the cellar door.
Attached to its other end is a sound amplifier. Keeping us in tune with what is happening outside our shelter.
"Keep looking!" Thomas says, his footsteps coming closer, along with a pitter patter of others. "They've got to be here... Go on! Search those woods too."
My heart drops at the sound of his voice. Maybe I was still holding out hope that he was good. That he wasn’t lying to me. I was wrong.
"Ass." I breathe, leaning against the small wall table, my hands crossed in front of my chest. Jake’s eyes come up from the speaker, reaching his hand to mine and uncrossing them. He wraps my hand a tender squeeze, giving me an encouraging half smile.
The guys hover at the counter, staring intently at the speaker on the kitchen laminate top while Jamie leans into Kye's side. It's quiet, with the exception of the occasional footsteps, fast currents of wind and a lot of white noise.
I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad sign.
"Sir. There's no sign of recent activity in the trailer. We searched everything." Someone says a few minutes later.
"No. They should be here. I saw them. She should be here!" His voice is haughty and tense, knocking a little hole in me.
A shiver runs up my spine and prickles creep up my arms at his words. The sadness, the regret in his voice. I didn't see it coming. He really came here just for me. Why? Why does he want to find me that badly?
All three sets of eyes have turned away from the speaker and onto me at Thomas’ words.
My stomach tightens. Do they blame me for this? Do they regret taking me in? I am the reason the soldiers have come to their home. I'm fairly certain I would if the roles were reversed, I’d hate me too.
Jake gives me a puzzled look that hurts my stomach even more but turns back to the speaker none-the-less. Jamie, however, keeps her gaze locked in on what I am doing. Even with the guys refocused on the audio, she zaps into me. Her eyebrows drawn tight together and a slight frown across her narrowed face.
My throat felt incredibly dry under her damning eyes. I keep gulping desperately trying to get rid of the sudden pain there. I can’t handle it anymore. Water, I need water.
The kitchen becomes my solac
e. I want nothing more than to melt into the cabinets and disappear. I turn my back to everyone to avoid their gaze, filling a large cup from above my head and throwing it back as soon as the water reaches the rim. The cool relief of the clear liquid helps to ease my burning lungs better than I could have imagined. In less than two minutes time, I have slopped three glasses down, some spilling down the corners of my lips in my haste to satiate my thirst.
"Sir," a voice comes through the box again sometime later, "There's a garden in the woods, getting close to the river–"
"They were here!" Thomas replies triumphantly.
"Maybe at one point, sir; but the garden looks like it was abandoned a while ago. Animals have been in it, there's no plants, just grass growing through. It hasn’t been cultivated for at least a few months."
A deep sigh of relief fills my lungs.
"Hey, impressive job with that, Ems," Jake comforts.
A little lighter. The pressure eases a bit on me as a shaky giggle escapes my anxious lips. I touch my head to the cool cabinet, trying to ease the throbbing of my brain.
Whatever small bubble of relief that enveloped me momentarily though, seems to pop in an instant, without any words being said. My body twinges in sudden pain, lifting me off the cabinet, stifling my nerves. I can feel him somehow. Thomas' chagrin rips through me like paper being torn to shreds.
His voice cracks over the speaker. Something indistinguishable. It may as well be the most petrifying thing he's said yet. Though he muttered, there was no mistaking the cold callousness in his tone that prickled at my scalp.
"What was that, sir?"
"I said burn it! BURN THE DAMNED HOUSE DOWN!" his voice explodes in unbridled anger.
I have to get to him, to stop him. I need to turn myself in to spare the house. I can sense how close he is. Doing his best to draw me out. Without being able to control myself, I take off to towards the door.
"No, Thomas!" I yell. I wished he could sense me the way I felt him. That he would drop this because he knows I’m coming.
"Emma!" Jakes arms collide around my waist. My body keeps moving forward though and we both fall to the ground.
The earth is shaking beneath me, quaking. Shattering everything around me.
"Emma, stop! It's okay, it's going to be okay." His soothing hands are around my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. His breathing is fast as his eyes try to convey something I don't want to pick up at the moment. Still, he forces me to stay locked in on him.
"Leave it!" A much older, commanding voice booms out of the speaker. "We don't have time for you to be petty, Thomas."
"But, sir–"
"The hurricane just made landfall. We need to get back to base so we don't get stuck in the storm. Do it quickly if you must. Let's go, round up! Time to head back!" the authoritative voice shouts to the group.
I drop my head into Jake's hand as the footsteps start moving away, feeling hot tears catching in my eyes. Jake pulls me into his lap, laying my head on his shoulder. I never thought a hurricane could possibly be my savior. Mother nature, angry and brutal as she can be, could be my redemption.
Thomas' whispered voice breaks through the thundering footsteps, carrying softly. "The winning side," he grumbles, slapping his hands against something as he kicks the ground. He walks away in near silence, but his words echo in my brain.
What did he mean: the winning side? He sounded bitter, bruised, and unsure. Could he be as confused and angry as his voice portrayed? Maybe under that conniving, lying, backstabbing exterior... Maybe there's just a kid who wants to survive.
Jerk.
As soon as the footsteps fade away, I run past the others, climbing out of the bunker too quick for the others to stop me. I don’t even register the weight of the door as it thumps above my head. My brain is screaming one thing and one thing only to me.
DON’T LET HIM BURN IT DOWN.
I hover on the ground for only a brief moment longer, wanting to make sure no one turned around, but I can smell the burning wood from across the field. A flame licks across the top of my vision and I leap to my feet, running towards the burning trailer.
Jake, Kye and Jamie are just behind me, coming out to take in the mess I’ve made of things.
The wind blows as clouds swirl in the sky over-head. It grabs hold of an ember from the front of the trailer and carries it to the mid-section.
“NO!” I scream, watching as the front door lights up in flames. “Get the bucket, the bucket!”
“It’s too late. The damn things a goner!” Kye shouts.
“I’ll do it myself then!” I run back past them, shoving Kye out of the way and dive down the stairs, retrieving the bucket and flying back out again. They’re all shouting at me, but I can’t hear them. I can’t bring myself to stop, to listen to what they are saying, to see their faces.
Instead, I leap for the rope hanging empty above the well and wrap its coarse, frayed cord around the bucket’s handle, securing a tight knot in place.
The bucket drops down into the well, filling its basin with water. I crank up the pully, lifting a full bucket that spills wildly over the brown busted edges.
I reach frantically for the gardening bucket, using it to transfer and carry the well water to the burning house. It’s covered in flames from head to toe.
“Please, stop. There’s no point.”
“No! It can’t burn down. It can’t!”
I heave the bucket of water towards the flames less than a foot in front of me. The hot heavy heat itches at my skin from my close proximity.
The water covers the flames and extinguishes it momentarily. The wind curls around it, reigniting it and sending it reaching for my skin.
“Emma, stop!” Jake yanks me backwards to the ground before the fire has a chance to touch me.
Soreness smashes into my back as the wind is knocked out of me.
“Ow,” I say dully. It’s all I can muster in this moment. My body aches beneath me while the heat from flames burn through my nostrils.
“We can’t save it. It’s a trailer, it catches on fire and it’s doomed. Now come on, before we get burnt or die of smoke inhalation.”
Jake pulls me back to the grass. Back to where Kye and Jamie stand, her tucked neatly under his shoulders, staring into the flames.
It’s all gone. Everything. The cure, the house, Thomas knows where we are. How can we keep going? We can’t stay here. He knows all of our usual routes. We’ve lost.
The sky grumbles from the thunderous storm just out of view. The wind picks up more speed, clouds blow dizzyingly across the sky as the tree branches sway ever harder.
Through the tall blazing flame, through the licks of purples, oranges and reds; I hear it. A quiet whisper, a lull to my heart. It dances across the infernos.
With each second the flames burn higher and cackle louder, the whisper becomes louder too. It reaches out to me. Catching, igniting in my chest.
It’s time. I have to go. I have to reach him. The maddening, deafness that shakes across the skies can stand no longer.
Even as the clouds spill over, plummeting ginormous chilly rain drops across the field. Even as the rain soaks into the earth, into my clothing and hair, sending a freezing coldness into my spine. Even as it pelts down at the fire, lowering the flicking flames; the whisper does not stop.
It does not slow, or quiet, or hesitate. It keeps growing, filling every inch of my body. It streaks through me like the bolt of lightning illuminating the dark sky.
The whisper in the flame is me. It always has been. I was just too afraid to hear it. I’m not afraid anymore. I’ll never be afraid to listen to myself again.
“Emma!” Jake shouts through the thunder. “Come on, we need to take cover.” He wraps his warm hand through mine, giving a gentle but firm tug.
When I turn to see him through the soaking rain, his hair drips water droplets down his cheeks. His eyes catch mine, and in that moment, he can feel it too. He knows that something has change
d.
He knows I have to go.
Chapter 34
As the storm continues to rage outside, Jake is worrying here on the inside. The rain has been slamming down upon the earth above our heads while the thunder reverberates almost non-ceasing for over twenty-four hours. The ground shakes from the quaking and the wind is howling as it blows furiously across the field.
We've heard and felt at least one big tree crash down, but honestly, I think we'd be lucky to find only one after this is all said and done. Jake paces back and forth, glancing at the ceiling and shaking his head. My stomach turns in knots as I watch him stiffen his body more as the clock on the wall ticks forward.
Kye and Jamie's whispered voices drift in and out of clarity from their huddled spot on the bed. They have the shaggy beige curtains pulled closed around them, intending on getting some sleep. Kye, however, is as anxious as Jake. He whispers to Jamie but the only part I manage to catch from my warm spot on the couch is something about "flooding."
Great, yet another disaster we have to deal with. It keeps getting better and better.
My head pounds, coursing with an unimaginable pain. It feels like it might explode with the amount of crap running through it. I can't seem to shake this feeling that I need to go. Sooner rather than later. I don't want to leave them with a mess to try and clean up, but at the same time, the longer I stay here the more danger I put them in.
Thomas seems to be dead set on getting to me. I'm the reason we are stuck in this bunker, fearing the hurricane outside. I'm the reason our home is destroyed, burned into fragmented ash and soot.
God, I can’t believe I was such an idiot for trusting him.
It's more than that, though. This whole time - these last seven months - I've known that my mission was to get onto the base. But in the beginning, it was more about finding Lauren and Dad, making sure they’re alive and doing the best I can to help them. Mom was the one who wanted me to do more. She's been driving me ever since her last day to find a way to make a difference; save as many people as I can.
My heart has been so heavy with this charge. I didn't know what to do, where to go, how in the world one girl was going to save people when the opposing team is a giant group of trained soldiers and military officials who are supposed to be the good guys.
A Whisper in the Flame (The Ragers Series Book 1) Page 24
