Since I Found You (Crystal Springs Romances: The Wedding Chapel Book 2)

by Mary Jane Morgan

  Justin hated that he’d upset her and wished he’d kept his mouth shut. “Your mom must be a beauty if you look like her,” he finally said, hoping to ease the tension.

  “Thanks.” Paige glanced up at him, her lips drawn. He squeezed her hand. The woman had no idea how attractive she was, and that saddened him. She was one of the prettiest women he’d ever known, and her physical appearance was only the surface of her beauty. Paige was humble down to her core. And sweet. And way sexy. He pulled her to a stop. Wrapping his arms around her, he snuggled her against him.

  They stood there for a long time, breathing each other in. “Listen to all the birds,” he finally said, resting his chin on the top of her head.

  “It’s peaceful out here,” she whispered on a sigh.

  He tilted her face up and kissed her. “As soon as we’re done with our walk, how about we cook burgers on the outdoor grill? Do our best to attract some bears,” he added with a grin.

  Laughing, Paige stood on tiptoes, and gave him a lingering kiss, that had him forgetting about dinner.

  “Better watch it,” he murmured when they came up for air. “I might haul you off into the deep, dark forest and have my way with you.”

  “I might let you.” She paused. “Except we’d probably both end up with poison ivy.”

  The hoot of an owl had them both looking up. “There it is,” Paige said, pointing to a huge oak tree, where an owl perched on a branch about halfway up. “What kind of owl is that?”

  “Pretty sure it’s a barred owl. They’re very common in this area.”

  “I bet she has a nest somewhere close.” With a sigh, Paige leaned her head against Justin’s shoulder.

  He kissed the top of her head, her hair tickling his nose, and pulled in the clean smell of her. “They usually nest in natural tree cavities. Let’s check the nearby tree trunks, and see if we can find it. She’d be staying close to her nest if she had babies.”

  “She’s watching us,” Paige whispered.

  “Rumor has it, they like redheads.”

  Laughing, Paige punched him in the ribs, and he grabbed her up and swung her around in a circle. The owl took flight. “You scared her away,” Paige complained good-naturedly.

  Justin set her down and they both scoured the trees, but didn’t see the owl. They started to walk again and within minutes heard an owl hoot and another one answer. “You suppose they’re talking about their rude intruders?” Paige asked.

  “Who, who, whoooo knows?”

  Paige rolled her eyes, but couldn’t keep from laughing. “I wish we could find their nest. See if they have babies.”

  “They could just be eggs.”

  Paige’s brow furrowed. “I doubt it. She would have been sitting on the eggs.”

  “Not necessarily. The dad could be taking his turn.”

  “You’re right. I hadn’t thought about that.”

  Of course, she hadn’t, Justin thought sadly. Her father hadn’t been around to offer any help.

  “If that’s the case,” Paige said, “the mother owl must be out hunting. I saw a documentary where an owl fed her babies whole mice. I couldn’t believe that didn’t choke them to death, but they each managed to gulp it down whole,” she added with a shudder.

  “Trying to make me hungry for dinner?” Justin teased.

  Laughing, Paige pulled him toward the sound of the waterfall. As they got closer, they veered off the walking path. A bobcat darted in front of them before disappearing in the thick foliage.

  “Wow. How cool was that?” Paige tugged on Justin’s hand. “Let’s go in farther.”

  Justin held his ground. “It’s a good thing I’m here to keep you in line, or we might run into a bear for real.”

  Paige darted her gaze over the thick foliage. “I want to see the waterfall. It’s not far.”

  He led her farther into the dense foliage. Within minutes, they turned a corner and saw the waterfall cascading down a rocky cliff. It was small as waterfalls go, but still beautiful. They made themselves comfortable on a fallen log and sat in silence for a few minutes. “I could stay here forever,” Paige said.

  “Logan and I never took the time to sit and listen and soak it all up when we were kids.”

  “Most kids don’t take time out to enjoy nature.”

  Justin raised her hand and kissed her palm. “I bet you did. Am I right?”

  She shot him a sideways look. “Yeah, but I was kinda geeky. There are several nature hikes close to Nashville that I used to visit.”

  Justin wondered if Paige had ever had the opportunity to travel as a child. From what he knew about her childhood, he doubted it. “I think we need to plan more trips. This fall, it’s North Carolina. Where would you like to go next?”

  She chewed on her lower lip and shrugged. “I’d have to think about that. I quit daydreaming about places I’d like to see years ago.”

  “Then we have a lot for you to catch up on, don’t we?”

  She stared at the ground and shoved some sticks with her foot. “Traveling would be nice, but it’s not that important to me. I got used to not being able to take trips a long time ago.”

  “Then I guess it’s time you got used to taking them, because you and I are going to have some great vacations.”

  She glanced at him. “I don’t need that, Justin.”

  Justin was taken back. “But you want some vacations, don’t you?

  “I’ve never really thought about it.” Picking up a stick, she tossed it toward the mountain stream that the waterfall cascaded into.

  Justin took her arm and turned her toward him. “Well, it’s time you thought about it. We’ll start our list tonight. Anyplace you’ve thought about visiting is fair game.”

  “Anyplace?” she asked, those green eyes of hers finally brightening.

  “Anyplace,” he said with a smile, knowing something was bothering Paige, but had no idea what. “How about you give me a list of places you’d like to visit. Then I’ll plan a big trip, but not tell you where we’re going until we’re on the plane.”

  Paige’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

  “Yep.” He leaned over and kissed her. “You and I are going to make up for lost time.”

  A slow smile spread across her face, but didn’t quite reach her eyes. He couldn’t imagine why, but something was definitely off, and he was pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with him. “You can trust me to follow through, Paige. I’m not like your dad or ex-husband.”

  “I never said you were,” she said.

  “But have you thought it?” he asked, instinctively knowing he’d made her uncomfortable. “Talk to me Paige.”

  She stared at his chest. “I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t ever entered my mind, but I know you’re different than my dad.”

  Her words stung, but he knew he couldn’t fix anything until she confided in him. He gave her a kiss that was meant to reassure her, but instead had his body roaring to life and his brain shutting down. Aching for more, he set her away from him and got to his feet, pulling her up beside him.

  “Let’s talk about this later,” he said.

  She leaned against him and ran her hands over his back, working her way down to his butt.

  “You like torturing me, don’t you?” And making my brain turn to mush.

  “Yeah. I like it a lot.” She rested her cheek on his chest. “I like you a lot.”

  And just like that, Justin knew he’d fallen hard for this woman and would do whatever it took to break through the barriers she had put up and earn her trust. Paige definitely had something going on that she wasn’t ready to tell him, but he could be both patient and determined, and he would eventually discover what the problem was so they could fix it and move forward.

  * * *

  “It’s been a few years since I rafted,” Paige admitted as she and Justin collected their helmets, life jackets and paddles for their upcoming Pigeon River raft ride.

  “Do I need to confess this t
o our guide?” Justin teased.

  She elbowed him. “I didn’t say I’d never rafted. Just that I’m a little rusty.” More like way rusty, she thought, but she wasn’t telling Justin. She slipped on her life jacket and tightened the straps.

  “You look at bit green,” Justin whispered. She glared at him and he laughed.

  “In case you don’t know, you need to re-tighten those straps every once in a while. Just in case we get tossed,” he added.

  “I know that,” she said, refusing to admit that was about all she knew. If she weren’t so stubborn and proud, she would have told him she should probably take the lower river ride with the kids. But here she was, about to step into a raft with a group of people, including a child who wasn’t much older than five or six, and head down a river without a clue as to how to keep up her end of the collective paddling. But if a young boy could help paddle a raft through white water, then she could too.

  Paige stepped up to the boy. “You look pretty excited. Is this your first time to go rafting?”

  He shook his head. “Third time,” he answered with a huge smile that showed a missing front tooth. “Wait ‘til we hit the waves.”

  “It’s called rapids,” his mother corrected. “My son has always had way more guts than me. He takes after his dad,” she said, smiling up at the man next to her.

  The man ruffled his son’s hair. “That would be true,” he said with obvious pride.

  “I haven’t done this in years, so I’m a little nervous,” Paige admitted, thinking how much the boy looked like his father.

  Justin stepped over to them and grinned at the kid. “I went rafting when I was about your age. Give me a high-five.”

  The boy slapped Justin’s palm and Paige couldn’t help but smile. Justin would be such a great dad. His own father had been a tremendous example, and Justin would follow that example. She fought down unexpected tears.

  “When I was a kid,” Justin said to the parents, “my family did a lot of camping and white water rafting. Some of my best memories are those times. Looks like your boy feels the same way.”

  “It took a lot of persuasion to get him out the first time,” the father responded, putting his hand on top of his son’s head.

  “I know how that boy felt,” Paige confessed. “Promise you won’t let me fall out of the raft,” she said, looking pointedly at Justin.

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “Not the answer I was looking for.” Paige pulled in several deep breaths in an effort to calm her racing heart.

  “Once we get moving, you’ll be fine,” the woman said, and Paige hoped she was right.

  The guide gave a whistle and got everyone’s attention. “Time to go. Grab a handle on the raft and let’s get this thing in the water.” Within seconds they had the raft in the water and had all found a seat. Their guide gave one last shove and jumped into the back where he sat with his paddle.

  “Listen up,” the guide said. “I’m Kenny, and as soon as I’ve given my mandatory spiel, we’ll get this raft out on the water. This is a team effort. If everyone does what I’m about to tell you, you’re a lot more likely to stay out of the river.”

  A ripple of laughter floated through the hot summer air.

  Justin winked at her. “That make you feel safer?”

  “Marginally,” Paige answered.

  After a quick overview from Kenny about where to plant their feet and how important is was to paddle in unison—especially when the water got rough—everyone began rowing. They floated for a few minutes on the gently moving river, and Paige’s nerves began to quiet. It was truly beautiful out here. She’d already seen a pair of Baltimore orioles flit across the water into a bush alongside the river, and they’d barely begun their two-hour trip.

  Paige settled into the soothing rhythmic glide of the raft and enjoyed the view. After a few minutes, she glanced at Justin, who was seated right across from her. He shot her a grin and winked. Her stomach fluttered, and it had nothing to do with nerves and everything to do with her growing feelings for this man.

  Yet no matter how wonderful it felt to be with Justin, the dread she’d felt for weeks whenever she thought about confessing her secret to him, still hung over her like a dark cloud. Her mood dipped, but she forced herself to focus on this adventure and enjoy every minute of it. Justin had planned the weekend for them, and she was determined not to let anything take away from her enjoyment.

  “Hey, Paige. Look over here.”

  She glanced at the shore where Justin pointed. A small herd of elk grazed along the water’s edge, the babies staying close to their moms. She grinned with delight, and he gave her a thumbs up.

  About fifteen minutes later, Kenny hollered, “Rapids ahead.”

  Adrenaline pumped through Paige as she leaned around the person in front of her to see how far ahead the rapids were. Not far. She swallowed past her tight throat as they approached the white water and concentrated on paddling hard and staying in sync with the others.

  The raft hit the rapids and lurched up and down, creating a bumpy ride before finally fighting its way through the white water and settling again in much calmer water. For some reason, riding through the tumultuous rapids reminded her of how hard she fought to navigate a normal relationship with Justin while holding back an important part of herself.

  Justin nudged her arm and arched his brows in question.

  “Pretty exciting,” Paige exclaimed.

  “You glad you came?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  But for how long? Paige wondered, hoping and praying Justin would be different than the other men in her life and love her enough to stand by her. But her hope for a solid relationship with Justin and the reality she had to face were as different as the calm water they now moved across and the rapids they’d just conquered.

  “We’ve got some pretty big rapids coming up,” Kenny hollered from behind her. “Stay in sync and paddle hard.”

  Paige forced her thoughts away from the conversation she knew she couldn’t postpone much longer with Justin and put all her energy and concentration on something she had at least a smidgeon of control over.

  * * *

  Justin poured two glasses of red wine and handed one to Paige. Taking her hand, he led her to the couch. “Let’s celebrate.”

  “What are we celebrating? That we made it through the raft ride all in one piece? It was absolutely exhilarating,” she added with a grin as she sat beside him. “I’m ready to do it again.”

  Justin sat and returned her smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. She took a gulp of wine, her nerves suddenly strung tight as a bow. Justin had obviously sensed that she’d been a little off this weekend. She had to tell him what was eating at her, and she had to tell him now. He deserved that.

  She tried to shove down her dread, but it was useless. He held up his glass of wine. “Here’s to more good trips. And to us,” he added, touching the rim of his glass to hers.

  “To us,” Paige repeated, clicking her glass to his and praying there would still be an ‘us’ after she told him her secret. She took a sip of the wine and set her glass down, feeling an almost panicky need to kiss this man who’d come to mean so much to her. Running a hand up his chest, she pressed against him and captured his lips. The tenderness he poured into their kiss, gave her a glimmer of hope. They were so good together. Maybe, just maybe, Justin would stand by her. Tears clogged her throat. Who was she kidding? Men leave. At least in her experience they certainly had.

  She drew on every bit of courage she had and pulled back, meeting his gaze. “I need to tell you something.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me.” He set his wine glass down on the end table. “You haven’t quite been yourself this weekend. I wondered when you would open up.”

  She covered her mouth with her fingers and closed her eyes, hoping she got through this without falling apart. He tugged her hand away from her mouth and held it in his lap. She gu
lped in a deep breath and took the plunge she’d put off for far too long. “First, I want to tell you that I never knew a relationship with a man could be this good. We weren’t supposed to get serious, but we have. At least I have,” she added, moving her gaze to their joined hands in an attempt to avoid seeing his reaction to what she’d just proclaimed.

  Justin shifted until he faced her and rested an arm on the top of the couch. He tilted her face up. “I have, too, Paige. I’ve thought about telling you several times this weekend how important you’ve become to me, but you’ve seemed distracted. On edge.”

  “I’m scared,” she admitted. “I never knew I could feel like this. Like I’m floating through each day on a cloud of happiness.” She stopped and cleared her throat. “But I need to tell you what happened to me when I lost my baby. I’ve kept this to myself, because there was no need for you to know as long as our relationship remained casual.”

  “Okay,” he said, his brow furrowing.

  She searched for the right words, but her mind had gone blank.

  Justin rubbed her tight neck. “I’m listening.”

  She pulled her hand free from his warm grasp and crossed her arms over her stomach, wishing there was some way she could shield herself from what was about to happen. “I don’t know where to begin.” She chewed on her bottom lip and fought for air. “I guess it’s best to just get it out.” She shot him a quick glance and forced her tears back. “The day I lost my baby…” She pulled much-needed air into her tight lungs. “…they couldn’t stop my bleeding. The doctor had to take my uterus to save my life,” she finished in a rush.

  Justin’s hand stilled. “So, you can’t have babies,” he muttered, removing his hand from the back of her neck.

  Paige cringed when she saw the denial and hurt in his eyes. She shoved to her feet, needing to get away before he said the words she knew were coming.

  He pulled her back down. “Give me a minute, Paige. This is a lot to take in.” He rubbed his forehead with his fingers and blew out a long breath. “I’m glad they did what they needed to save your life, but I’m so sorry it had to come to that.”