“Uh oh. That sounds like a discussion that needs to happen later over a drink.”
More than one drink, Paige thought, grateful for Tiffany’s support but too tied in knots to talk about her and Justin’s discussion. Besides that one of her patients needed her. “Who’s in labor?”
“Margie Vickers. Dilated to five. She’s on her way to the hospital now.”
“I’ll be there shortly.” Paige stood and went inside. “Thanks for calling. I’ll let the maternity nurses know I’m on my way.” She clicked off and hurried to her bedroom, thankful Tiffany had called and she now had something to take her mind off of how Justin would handle what she’d shared with him this weekend.
* * *
Justin grabbed his keys and headed out to the car, not knowing where he was going, just that he had to get out of this house. He should call Paige—he knew it was the right thing to do—but for some reason he wasn’t ready to talk with her. It wouldn’t surprise him if she needed her space as much as he did. He’d told her they would work this out, and he’d meant it. Exactly how he’d get his mind around this he wasn’t sure, but somehow he would.
He pulled out of his drive and headed toward Jillian’s, wanting to be with family and also see Jaxon. Maybe that would help clear his head. Or muddy the waters even more, if the kid was being cute. Who’d have thought blowing spit bubbles through a big, toothless grin would be cute?
Justin reached for his phone and tapped Jillian’s number.
“Don’t you know you should never call a mother with a baby early in the morning? For all you know, I could finally be catching a bit of shut-eye after a horrendously long and draining night.”
“Well, good morning to you, too, sis. Should I turn the car around and go back home?”
“Don’t you dare. Please stop at the doughnut shop on the way here and get me some maple bars. I’ll pay you a hundred dollars.”
“Deal.” He laughed at the expletives she tossed back at him. “Take a deep breath, Jillian. It can’t be that bad.”
“If you were here, I’d have to hit you.”
He winced. Okay, so maybe it could be that bad. The last time he’d gone to Jillian’s, she was in this same frame of mind. Sleep deprivation and coping with a fussy infant didn’t make for a good morning. If he and Paige stayed together, at least he’d never have to go through that.
The thought should have brightened his mood, but to his surprise, it made him feel even more sour.
He swung into the doughnut shop, bought half a dozen doughnuts, heavy on the maple bars, and two coffees. Taking his loot, he headed south and thought about Paige. He should call her. Let her know…something. But what? That he loved her. Wanted her. But he wanted babies, too, and was having a hard time getting his mind wrapped around that last part.
He rolled his shoulders and tried to relax and enjoy the view. He’d always liked the drive south out of Nashville. Jillian’s subdivision wasn’t but about five miles out of town, but it was enough of a drive to see some pretty scenery. Today the rolling hills and horses spotting the green grassy slopes, reminded him of Paige. He topped a hill and saw a small herd of horses gathered under a grove of trees, tails swishing to keep the flies off while their babies raced in tight circles, their tails held high. He knew they weren’t called babies, but right now he couldn’t remember the right terminology. Guess he had babies on his mind, mainly the babies he would never father if he and Paige got married.
Pain squeezed his heart. He loved Paige in a way he hadn’t felt possible. She brought him joy and comfort and a sense of rightness. Yet he wanted more. He wanted children—Coleman children—filling his home and heart.
He muttered a few choice words as he turned onto the exit for Jillian’s house. A few minutes later, he pulled into her drive, gathered the box of doughnuts, and walked to her front door. She opened it before he could ring the doorbell.
Her eyes lit up at the site of the box of doughnuts, and she shoved Jaxon at him and swiped the box out of his hands. “So glad you called and saved the day. How is it you always seem to do that?” she asked, turning toward the kitchen.
If only that were true. Guess it was easier to save the day when it wasn’t you who was drowning. Carrying Jaxon, he shut the front door and followed Jillian down the hall. “I heard you’ve been crying, Jaxon. Has your mom been pinching you again?”
He heard Jillian give a shout of glee. “Thank you, thank you. Can I eat them all?” she asked, laughter in her voice.
He sauntered into the kitchen. “Your mother is just a kid herself, Jax. You must learn tolerance with her.” The baby blew bubbles out his lips and grinned, kicking his feet. Smiling, Justin turned to his sister and plunked a doughnut out of the box. “The sugar ones are my favorite.”
Jillian licked some maple icing off her finger. “I know. You and Logan practically killed one another for sugar doughnuts when we were kids. She rolled her eyes. “Such a happy family memory,” she said, bending down and making goo-goo eyes at Jaxon who blew more spit from his silly grin and cooed even more. Jillian made a face and he kicked his feet and gurgled. “I love you, too,” Jillian said. “But we can’t deprive your uncle Justin of his time with you, now can we?”
Jaxon’s feet churned like he thought he might be able to walk through air. Justin laughed. “He’s pretty darn cute, Jil.”
“It’s a good thing. Dad says he reminds him of you.”
Justin arched his brows, his heart doing a happy dance. “How so?”
“Always begging for attention.” Jillian snorted with laughter. “Seriously, something about the way he wants to snuggle into your neck all time.”
“That’s what babies do,” Justin said, feeling a bit deflated.
“Not according to Dad. According to him, I didn’t do it. I was too busy getting into everything.” She scowled, then punched Justin in the arm. “I think maybe he has his babies mixed up.” She studied him a minute. “You don’t look so good.”
“Gee thanks. I could say the same about you.”
She took Jaxon and snuggled him close. “I have an excuse. What’s yours?”
Justin leaned against the marbled black and tan granite counter top and crossed his arms in front of his stomach. “I’m fine.” He grabbed another doughnut, stuffed half of it in his mouth.
She narrowed her gaze at him. “Let’s get some coffee and go sit.”
“Damn. I have coffee in the car. Be right back.”
“I know for sure something’s wrong when you forget the coffee.”
Sometimes he wished his sister wasn’t so observant. Then again, those were the kind of qualities siblings had. It gave them power over you. At least that’s what Logan and he used to say, and he’d figured his big brother was right. Now as an adult, Justin realized it also meant they loved you enough to call you out on your bull.
He unlocked his Suburban and grabbed the two coffees, now lukewarm at best. He shoved the door shut with his foot and headed back inside. He was about to open the front door when a car horn beeped behind him. He turned just as his dad and Dottie pulled up.
They got out of the car. “Are we going to have to fight you for that baby?” his dad asked with a punch to the shoulder, making the coffee slosh out.
“Hopefully not. You’d lose.”
His dad laughed and opened the front door. “I think Dottie could take us both for that baby.”
“You got that right, Jim.” Dottie smiled and breezed right past them.
Justin figured he’d been lucky to get here early enough to beat the stampede for Jaxon. He followed his dad inside. “Jillian’s in the kitchen. I brought doughnuts.”
He could hear the women baby-talking as they approached the kitchen. The minute they stepped into the kitchen, they winked at one another. Dottie had Jaxon cradled in her arms, and the baby was obviously mesmerized.
Justin turned to his dad. “Jillian tells me you said I liked to snuggle into your neck when I was a baby. That true?”
> His dad grinned. “When you were little it sure was, but once you were old enough to start running around like a wild man, you rarely had time for much snuggling.”
His dad leaned down and gave Jaxon a peck on the cheek. “How’s it going, little fella?”
Jaxon’s blue eyes fixed on his dad and his tiny fists waved. When his dad tickled his chest, the baby gurgled with delight. “Watch this,” his dad said as he took Jaxon from Dottie and propped him onto his chest. Jaxon scooted up until his face was against his father’s neck.
“Must be a weird genetic trait,” Jillian said, high-fiving Justin.
“What can I say? I was a lover from the get-go.”
“And a screamer,” his dad added with a pretend shudder.
“Really? I cried a lot?”
“If you weren’t being held.”
Jillian poked him in the chest with a finger. “Guess that means you and Jaxon should get along famously.”
Justin watched his nephew, still snuggled into his dad’s neck. Walking over to his dad, he took one of Jaxon’s tiny fists. “This little guy and I should get along famously. We understand each other, don’t we buddy?” He grabbed another doughnut then gave Jaxon a kiss on his cheek. “You’re a lot like Uncle Justin, aren’t you?”
“Don’t get a big head about it.” Jillian kissed her baby’s foot. “He has some of my traits, too. And Stan’s,” she tacked on. “He definitely inherited Stan’s stubbornness.”
“Stan’s stubbornness?” Justin asked with a hearty laugh. “I think he got that from both of you, sis.”
Jillian shrugged. “It’s possible you might be right.”
His dad laughed. “No ‘might be’ about it, Jil. We have strong genes in our family. This little guy is Coleman through and through.”
“Oh, you men,” Dottie said. “Jaxon’s environment is what will truly mold him into his own little person. As far as I’m concerned, Hank Richardson is my son and I didn’t birth him. But, oh, how I love him. He’s a part of my family and always will be. Now if I can just get Ashley and him to tie the knot and give me grandkids,” she muttered, touching Jaxon’s cheek with the tip of a finger.
Dottie’s words silenced the room. “You’re right,” Jillian finally said. “Just don’t tell Stan,” she added with a frown.
“Probably a good idea,” Justin said. His family definitely had strong genes, but he supposed Dottie was right. Environment played a big part of what we became.
He wondered if Paige felt the same way and might want to adopt a child. She had so much love to give a baby. Suddenly anxious to get away, he kissed Jaxon’s downy-soft cheek, and headed out of the kitchen. “See ya Friday night,” he said over his shoulder.
“You’re bringing Paige aren’t you?” Jillian hollered after him. “Not that I don’t trust you, but she knows her way around babies.”
Justin turned around and plopped his hands on his hips. “I can handle a baby perfectly fine.” When Jillian opened her mouth to respond he held up a hand. “But I invited Paige, so don’t get yourself all worked up.”
Shaking his head, he went out the front door and breathed in the clean country air, suddenly knowing what he wanted to do. Now he just had to plot out his strategy, figure out his next move, and hope it was enough.
Chapter Eleven
Paige woke with a start, not sure what had startled her. The doorbell rang, and she jumped out of bed, her heart pounding. Justin had finally come! She hurried to the bathroom, ran a brush through her unruly hair and rinsed her mouth out. She practically ran down the hall, took a second to compose herself when she reached the door, and then flung it open.
“Hello, Paige,” her mom said.
Paige’s smile faded as her heart sank. “What are you doing here at the crack of dawn?”
“I wanted to leave these pictures of your dad with you before I went to work.”
“Pictures?” Paige asked, trying to shove down the bitter disappointment that her mom was here and not Justin.
“I thought long and hard about what your boyfriend said to me the other day, and I found some pictures of your dad.”
Paige shook her head. “I don’t want them. Justin should have kept his opinion to himself.”
Her mother shook her head. “No. I’ve been wrong. I’ve kept my anger at your dad bottled up so tight, that I haven’t seen what I’ve done to you.”
“He left, Mother. He’s seen me twice since then. Twice.” God, Paige’s head hurt. “I was up most of the night with a delivery. I’m going back to bed.” She turned to go, but her mother caught her arm. Paige glanced back at her. “Just leave, Mom. I hate my father for what he did, and I have no desire to remember what he looked like.”
Sadness filled her mother’s eyes. “He was wrong to leave and especially wrong to rarely get in touch with you.” She swallowed hard. “He had his good points, though, and I think you deserve to know that.”
Weary to the bone, Paige sank down onto the couch and pulled her legs up in front of her chest, then wrapped her arms around them. “Obviously, you thought he had some good qualities at one time, but he proved you wrong. I’ve watched you grieve all these years. And you know what I saw, Mama? I saw a woman who’d lost all hope. A woman who didn’t have much spark left to her. Who was afraid to even try to date again. My father did that to you, so don’t tell me he had his good qualities.”
“No,” her mom said, shaking her head. “I did all that to myself. And I was wrong to keep these from you.” She handed the envelope to Paige. “There are a few notes from him in this envelope along with the pictures. I kept them to protect you.” She squeezed her eyes shut before continuing. “I didn’t want you to read his notes and get your hopes up that he might become a part of your life again.”
Paige felt as if she’d been socked in the stomach. “You had no right to do that,” she finally managed to say.
“I know that now. I could tell you how sorry I am a million times, but it wouldn’t erase what I did, and it won’t help you. I was too wounded to be there for you, to help you move on. Justin was right to ask about pictures. He’s wise for his age. I’d say he’s a keeper.” She handed the envelope to Paige, but she looked away. “Take it. Someday you might want to look at what’s inside.”
Paige took the envelope, then set it down and dropped her head to her knees. “I wish Justin would have kept his opinion to himself.”
“No, honey,” her mom said. “He was right.”
Paige felt tears welling in her eyes. “Maybe,” Paige whispered. “The man might be a keeper, but I’m not sure I am,” she finished weakly.
“Oh, honey, why would you say that?” Her mother sat beside her and rested a hand on her arm. Paige fought the urge to move away from her touch. “You are a caring and beautiful young lady, Paige. I’m so proud of you, especially since you practically had to raise yourself. I’m sorry I failed you so badly.”
Hot tears fell from Paige’s eyes. She lifted her head and wiped her tears away, then buried her head in her hands. “You didn’t fail me. But you have disappointed me. How could you keep my father’s letters from me?” she asked, lifting her head and glaring at her mom. “All these years, I’ve felt so deserted. So unloved and unimportant.” She tried to get control of herself, but her tears wouldn’t stop. Finally, she picked up the envelope and opened it, pulled out the pictures, but left his letters. She would read those when she was alone.
She held up the first snap shot. A good looking young man in jeans and a white t-shirt smiled back at her. The vision swayed with her tears. She blinked a few times and the image cleared. “How old was he in this?”
“Twenty. We’d just come from a dance. Your father really had the moves on a dance floor.”
“Yeah. He obviously had the moves in more ways than dancing,” Paige responded bitterly. She shoved the picture back in the envelope. “I’ll look at them more later.”
Her mom nodded as if she understood, but Paige knew she didn’t have a clu
e. “Well,” her mother said, forced lightness in her voice. “I need to go or I’ll be late. Try and remember when you look through that envelope that your father had a rough childhood. In his own way, he loved you.”
Paige snorted. “A lot of good that does me. Did my father ever even ask you if I could come visit him?”
Her mother’s face fell. “No,” she said. “He wasn’t at all ready to be a father. I hope knowing how lacking he was will lessen your pain. Nothing your father ever did was your fault, honey.”
Paige’s throat ached with tension. She wished her mom would leave, as in right this second. She shoved to her feet, at a loss for words. How did you thank someone for letting you know how much they’d deceived you? For bringing pictures and information you didn’t want to think about let alone see.
Her mother gave her a quick hug, and when she stepped away, Paige felt a huge wave of relief that she was leaving.
She followed her mom to the door but couldn’t think of a word to say.
“I’m sorry,” her mom repeated as she opened the front door, obviously ready to make her escape. “I was wrong. I meant to protect you, not hurt you.”
Paige’s throat tightened with unshed tears. She tried to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, she nodded then shut the door and leaned against it, bracing herself for what she was about to discover about a father she could barely remember, and what she did remember through stories from her mom was probably skewered.
She walked back to the couch on heavy legs. Sassy scampered down the hall and climbed up the arm of the couch, twitching her tail as Paige sat. She picked up the kitten and held her close. “Be glad you’re a cat,” she said bitterly. “And in case you ever forget it, you’re damn lucky to have me.”
She opened the envelope, pulling out everything in it. After looking at the three pictures of her father, she set them aside and opened a letter with shaky hands.
Paige, I’m thinking about buying a house. When I do, maybe you can come visit your old man. I will let you know. Dad
Since I Found You (Crystal Springs Romances: The Wedding Chapel Book 2) Page 15
