Family

by J. California Cooper

  She did not dislike Always; she did not like her either. Just almost nothin left in her for feelins. But she was glad there was another woman here now to bear some of the burden and strain of her life.

  She was a dark, ashy brown color. Head wrapped in a flour cloth rag, dress many times patched and soiled with many days wearin without a wash. She was barefoot. Body bent … from old pain. Her soul was bent from old pain. But … there was somethin. Her eyes were not broken, only sad. Or was it hate in em? Always did not know, or care. She was too full of her own hate and pain.

  She slowly turned her eyes from Poon, said, “Master, I has to bury my sister, please suh.”

  Doak looked over his shoulder at the body and groaned, “Oh, yea. Well … be quick bout it. Poon will show you where. Then you get on back here to the kitchen. We need a new taste of food in this house. Poon don’t try hard no more.” He had a better thought. “Say, you come in the kitchen now, and bury that body later after your kitchen work is done. Then Poon will show you where she buried her dead-uns.”

  Who can argue with fate? Always whispered hoarsely, “Can I cover her up? From the flies? Master?”

  He was down from the wagon, mind on somethin else. “Can’t nothin hurt her now, get on.”

  She went. And the hate took stronger root in my daughter’s belly and began to grow stronger in her mind. That mind that tried to plot, to scheme, but unused to havin a real goal, it didn’t know how. It lay in wait. Time … it said … time.

  ALWAYS MOVED SLOWLY, painfully, down from the wagon after the chain was loosed. Poon watchin her, knowin what had done happened from the way the girl held her body.

  Poon was thinkin, “She is a pretty one, oh Lord. A new wife and a new pretty nigga woman. This house gonna hold hell. Both probly weak, cain’t work none. Both probly be uppity. This one won’t want to work, not in the fields anyway. She ain’t gonna like it here none. Ain’t no pretty clothes to put on and prance in … and ain’t gonna get ne’er ear-ring for them little pink ears, neither one.”

  Her heart softened at the sight of the young girl struggling to hold herself up, but her heart had too much experience to give in too soon. “I ain’t gonna work for her, no Lord. I rather go on and die.” Then she caught the body of my young Always, remembered the pain and the body of the young sister to be buried. Said, “C’mon in here wit me, chile. What’s your name to be called?”

  “Always.”

  “Always. That a kind of foolishness name. But mayhap you was named right … cause your life always gonna be just what it is now, here, where you is. And I can’t help you none.” She was helpin her then to walk. “Cause I got Masr Jason to watch after. He the cripple one where you can see it, and that mos take up all my time now, and we is soon again to be movin into that big shed when it finish bein fix over. Two rooms and a kitchen. I cooks for him and me only. You have the whole house to yourself to keep up. Now that the new wife is comin, the Master and his new wife is yourn.”

  Always took a deep breath and started up the backstairs. “When the new wife gonna be here?”

  Poon helped her through the door. “A week or somethin close like that. And I’s tired. Don’t need nor want no young white wife-woman runnin me everywhere and doin everythin. And I’m tellin you like I’m done tol Masr Jason, when I can’t do no more, when my body come down sick and cave in on my left side and I can’t move, then you have to do for Masr Jason too.”

  Always looked up at her, then back at the fields and trees, then round the half-kept kitchen, and didn’t say nothin. Just stood up straight as she could and walked on in that house. Poon went back outside to throw somethin over my poor little, dead Plum. And that was Always’s homecomin.

  In a short time Always healed over. She had to. It was the way of her life. In the care of the house which was really still poor, Always became a greater benefit to all everybody. Bringin in wood and kindling fetched from the woods for the fireplaces and cookin stove. With her sewin, soon clothes were mended and clean, all of them. She could cook most anything and with seasonins make a poor meal a good one. She wanted a garden so she gathered manure from any livestock for fertilizer. She fed all the livestock near the house, without bein asked, and milked the few cows. She did these things to keep her mind busy, to keep from thinkin of her family gone.

  She made a cross and planted little flowers round Plum’s grave she had made in a little quiet grove way from round everybody else. Just hers.

  The new wife was due the second week and Doak went to fetch her to her new home. Always cleaned all the bedding, killin the vermin that was there. Things wasn’t rich, but they was clean and neat.

  The crippled man, Jason, had a kind heart and he soon adored her. Poon, who had waited to see just what to do, began to like and help her. Jason grew to feel a little better, and sometime Poon smiled. Always made the house to seem prosperous. She looked over the land, always. But she talked to and confided in no one. She just looked over the land, always.

  Doak just used her on several of the few nights before he left to go get married and bring his wife home to his bed. When she left his bed, she always stopped to look out over the land before she cleaned herself and went to her mat to sleep.

  Once, when she was through with kitchen and cleanin chores, she stood on the backsteps and looked over the land a long, long time. It was poorly tended at the time by a few hired labor. Then, she went to find a hoe and went out to the land to work it, to see and feel it. The sun was hot upon her back, the sweat began to drip from the sides of her face to her breast as she hoed in good rhythm, easily, smoothly, turnin the dark, rich earth over. She stopped now and again, bent to feel and turn the soil in her hands, feeling it was good soil. Ever once in awhile she would look thoughtfully over the land. Finally she braced the hoe on her shoulder and walked slowly back to the house, put the hoe away. Never sayin a word to anybody. Just thinkin of what the land could bear.

  Sometimes, when the Indians round the area pass through from the hills for whatever their own reasons was, she give em some water or some things out the garden and talk awhile to em. You see her stoop down and scoop up some of that dirt, hold it up to em so you know that’s what they talkin bout. One old handsome man specially. Papago, a kind of medicine man, became her friend. He help her a lot tellin bout the land, roots, plants and things. He just only always complain bout the fact it used to be Indian land but was all takin way but the hills. They got to be such friends, it got so when Papago’s wife have a baby, Always would see to send her somethin for herself or the baby. Well, they was all poor, didn’t make no difference what race you was if you needed help them days, for most people. So, her knowledge grew bout the land.

  WASN’T NO HUSTLE and bustle but a little when the wife came. A clean bed had been readied. A good meal was prepared. It was a tired, crippled group who was waitin to receive the bride. No one was goin to the door that always stayed unlocked anyway.

  Masr Jason didn’t want to be wheeled to the front in that ole homemade chair when they heard the wagon pull in. Poon fussed him into goin cause it was a new sister acomin. He was shamed of his body and didn’t never blive, no, he knew he would never bring home a bride. He was stuck with Poon, who, thank God, cared for him well. So when she fussed with him, he allowed hisself to be wheeled to the front yard. They had already moved into their homeshed, a neat country three rooms. They just stayed in the front yard so Poon wouldn’t have to pull them steps.

  Always stood behind the freshly laundered curtains til the bride was steppin up to the porch. Everybody already done said “Welcome.” Masr Jason was bein wheeled back to his shedhouse. The new little bride looked so nervous, innocent and even a little scared, that Always couldn’t decide what kind of Mistress she was goin to be.

  Sue’s dress was not the best, but was a good one. Her bags were adequate, only, and there were few of them. Her hair was dark, long and wound around her head in thick braids. Her eyes were dark, and now large and round, tryin to see eve
rything and be Mistress of it all, as ALL as Mr. Doak had described it.

  Something in her face, bright, freckled, young, made Always narrow her eyes and prepare to hate her. But the hate did not come. Instead, she looked at Doak with that hate. When she looked back at the young Sue, she felt sorry for her.

  She went out then to welcome her just as Doak called her name, “Ally.” He didn’t like the name “Always”, too long, he said.

  “Yes suh. Here.” She came to stand on the porch.

  “This your new Madame.”

  “Yes suh.”

  “Mrs. Sue.”

  “Yes suh. Howdy, Mrs. Sue.”

  Sue sounded glad to see the girl. “Howdy do, Ally.”

  “Name is Always, if you like, Miss Sue.”

  Doak spoke up as he carried the bags in. “Ain’t no Miss Sue, is a Mrs., a Madame. A Mistress of Butlerville.” He came up behind his wife. He looked gently at her. He loved her. She was his pride. And he was faithful to her til her sickness forced him to Always and others. He truly loved her. He was tender, gentle, and kind to his wife all her days. She never once, or more than once, thought he was unfaithful to her tho she worried a bit at first from all she had heard of gentlemen and pretty slaves. But, she was in turn wholesome, and she loved Doak as time went by. She gave herself to him with joy and lived in pleasure and peace til her end, which was not far off, as is almost always when you are happy. Listen at me. The end is almost never far off any time at all!

  Now, even in the happiest house there is what is called shit. But, she was good, he was happy. He was good to her, for her, around her.

  Sue became pregnant in one week really. Always was pregnant from the start. She knew it, but she didn’t tell … yet. So they conceived little more than two weeks apart. Yet … he loved his wife. He didn’t even think of Always.

  Sue was lonely for the first month or so. Lonely for her family and past life, friends and things familiar. She really did not miss them, but she thought she did. Seems then she settled into her new state of Mistress of her own home and slaves. She tried to be busy, even to help Always in the kitchen. Her upbringin had prepared her for cookin and sewin things. But Doak didn’t like his wife actin like no slave, so she finally stopped tryin, cept when he was gone sometimes. She and Always became kind of friends, tho Always spoke little.

  Sue was sure she was goin to have a baby by the second month of her marriage and she was happy. Always was the first person she told.

  Always had just washed Sue’s long dark hair and was combing and preparin to plait and roll the thick braids around her delicate, but sturdy, head. Sue was sittin in her quiet and reserved way, lookin out the kitchen window. She turned her head a little toward Always when she spoke to her.

  “This farm, the land is goin to do well someday, isn’t it?” For by now she knew they were only a little above poor. “I mean, it’s goin to be a good producin, rich farm someday, isn’t it?”

  Always looked at the top of the smooth, dark hair, the color of her own, but Always had small waves in hers and kept it tied up in her rag. She was, even already, jealous of the land tho it was rightfully Sue’s land. Her thoughtfulness made Sue turn even further round to look up at Always.

  “I mean, do they work it right and do things accordin to the seasons?” Always still did not answer right away.

  “Well,” Sue continued, “Ain’t Doak, Master Doak, seein to all that? Oh, he got so much to do! And to have only a cripple brother to help him is almost just like no help at all. Tho I do love Jason, he is so sweet and uncomplainin.”

  Now Always answered, as she drew the brush through the damp hair. “Yes mam. But Masr Doak need more help. Them few mens don’t hardly work none when he gone.”

  “Well!” Indignant. “Does he know that? What can we do about it?”

  Always had already thought about that. “Get Masr Jason on a horse, tie him to it and set him out to overseer things.”

  Sue turned full round, stoppin Always from workin her hair. “Oh, but would he do that? Could he?”

  Always looked down at the truly young face, thinkin all there was in life this woman did not know. All the hard things nobody should have to know. She brushed the thoughts aside. “I blive he could, but I don’t rightly know. I’s just a slave, mam.” Then she looked through the window at the land. “But I blive he might try … if it will help the land to bear better.” She started brushin again.

  Sue waited a moment thinkin she should save this new knowledge for her husband, but her happiness made it impossible to hold in. “Because … because I am going to have a beautiful baby visitor. And I want my baby to have somethin someday. So she won’t have to … Cause she deserves it!”

  Always knew she should be showin excitement and be happy with the new mother-to-be, but she couldn’t gather up the gumption to act excited. She looked down at the small, frail body of Sue, then at her own strong one. “How far long is you, Mistress?”

  Clappin her hands and countin on her fingers, Sue said, “Bout seven weeks, I reckon. Just bout seven weeks!”

  “I’s with a baby myself, Mistress,” Always sighed.

  Sue turned round in the chair again. Many thoughts crossin her mind at the same time; No male slave on the land, cripply Jason, where did Always get her baby? All the tales wives of slaveownin husbands justa runnin through her mind.

  “Who … where is the father of your baby, Always?”

  Always answered truthfully. “I don’t know, Mistress.” She did not know where Doak was at the particular time.

  Sue turned back round, breathin relief. “Well.” She thought, “I didn’t blive Always was like that, but that is what they say bout em, and it must be true. They have many men … that way, even strangers. “How far long are you, Always?”

  “Bout two months, Mistress.”

  Sue raised up and round one more time. “Musta got … that way just fore you came … here.”

  Always knew her place. “Yes’m.” And pinnin the last pin, went to put the things away.

  Sue sat a minute, lookin through the window at the land. “Well … Anyway.” She placed her hand over her stomach, thinkin, “My baby gonna inherit land and money someday. Poor Always’s baby always gonna be poor and a slave.” This she thought with no malice, even had a little pity in her heart. But a mother’s first thought is of her own. She didn’t say, “I will set you and your child free someday and give you a little land.” She just felt a little pity. That’s all.

  Now, when all the chores was done and the workday was endin, Always and Poon had taken to sittin on stumps in front of that shedhouse of Masr Jason’s. They would sit quietly or talk soft and slowly of things, just to have some company, I reckon, where they didn’t have to say Masr or Mistress, could just talk.

  Always spoke of the Mistress’s baby that was comin. All Poon thought of was another mouth to call out for more work and was glad she was not livin in the main house nomore. She didn’t dislike the new Mistress, she just didn’t feel nothin and didn’t like to think of somebody with more power over her, man or woman. “A baby” was all she said.

  Always looked through the darkness into yonder somewhere. “I am gonna have Master a baby too.” Poon just looked from yonder into the darkness. She did not smile, her own memories of her babies stayed too painful and close.

  Always smoothed out her apron, said, “I sho would want you all to help me fix that ole chicken house into a place for me … and my chile. Don’t want to live in this house … with em.”

  With thoughts of amazement, Poon asked, “You loves him? Masr Doak?”

  Always pressed her lips together in a frown. “Loves my own. Wants my own room for me and my chile, that’s all. Got to live here til I die, so wants to live in my own room. Maybe soon they be havin more childrens. I’ll be already done moved and that give the new Mistress time to fix things for her babies.”

  Poon just looked at her. “You somethin, chile.”

  Still lookin through the d
arkness, Always said, “And I wants my own garden to work.”

  Poon mused, “This good land. You get a good garden, good fruit from this land. It’s mos puredee new. Ain’t harly worked none. Grow yo own food to eat.”

  Always, still lookin into the darkness over the land, said, “I’ll eat what food everybody else grows and eats. I want silver money to come out from my garden. I wants silver and gold money from what I grow.”

  Poon just sighed. “You somethin, chile. Don’t you know what you is and where you is?”

  Always got up, smoothin her apron, preparin to leave. “They can’t slave my wishin none. I can try.”

  Another evenin, soon after that one, Always went over to sit awhile with Poon again. Always quietly said, “I blive they gonna ask for Masr Jason to sit a horse and watch the workers on the land. They ain’t workin too good without overseein. Can he sit a horse? If’n he tied to it?”

  Poon was alarmed and protective of Jason. “He don’t need to be puttin to doin all such as that! He a sick man! That Masr Doak.” She lowered her voice. “He goin too far now! Sides, them mens doin alright.”

  Always spoke, still softly. “No, they ain’t. They lazy …”

  Poon said, “They tired.”

  Always smoothed her apron, said, “We got to eat and prosper, are we always gonna be livin like this? You in a shed carin for a cripple. And if he die, you be back out in the fields again this time.”

  Poon was thoughtful.

  Always went on talkin. “Some of them mens sleeps in the shade trees when they left alone. Them the ones eats more’n their share of the food I takes out to em. And then, somethin else more, they steals some of the harvest every day and takes it to they own shacks to cook and they already been given rations.”