The Knight in Screaming Armor

by R. L. Stine

  “But there are two doors left,” Kip cries. “Which door should I open?”

  “The right one!” you yell back. “Open the right one!”

  If the door on the right is the right one, turn to PAGE 42.

  If the door on the left is the right one, turn to PAGE 59.

  “WELCOME TO MY MUSEUM!” roars the voice of the Evil Knight as you enter the mysterious dark room. “MY VERY OWN MID-EVIL MUSEUM OF EVIL KNIGHT-MARES!” He bursts into laughter at his own joke. His horrifying laughter mocks you. It seems to come from every direction.

  You spin around, peering into the darkness for any sign of the Knight. “Where are you?” you shout over the chorus of evil sounds. “Show your face!”

  “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” An ear-piercing screech. The Knight in Screaming Armor reminds you who’s in charge here. Suddenly, you don’t feel so curious anymore.

  A dim light seems to come from somewhere. Or maybe it’s just that your eyes grow accustomed to the dark. But all around you vertical lines seem to emerge from the blackness. They’re bars. Iron bars. They’re CAGES! But they’re not your cage. At least, not yet.

  It’s a kind of museum exhibit. Or maybe a zoo. A zoo of evil. You shake with terror when you see what’s inside all those cages.

  See what’s in the cages on PAGE 106.

  “Zzzzt! Zzzzt! Zzzt zzzt zzttt!” You try to speak, but the only thing coming out of your mouth are sparks!

  “Zzzzt zzzt!” Abbey adds her two sparks.

  “Zzzzzzzzt! Zzzzzzzt!” Kip sparks loudest of all. He’s holding up the second piece of parchment with the warning about “his deadly charge.”

  If you could talk you would remind Kip — you already saw that piece of the puzzle. You figure that this electrically charged state you’re all in is what the piece of parchment warned about.

  Kip waves the parchment at you. “Zzzzt zt!” he says.

  “Zzt zzzzt!” you agree. Sure you’ll take another look at the piece of parchment. You try to see through all the sparks to what is written there. Here’s the real shocker — new words have appeared! You read to yourself:

  … beware his deadly charge and feel

  That what is NOW is not what’s real.

  Aha! Now you get it!

  If what you get is what you see, turn to PAGE 34.

  If what you get is what you wish you never saw, turn to PAGE 76.

  “Kip! Kip!” Abbey’s voice is so far away now, you can hardly hear her.

  “Wow! She’s really flying!” you say in amazement. “You must be right about the fear thing, Kip.”

  “Come back!” Kip calls up to the night sky.

  But Abbey’s growing smaller and smaller against the night sky. And in another moment, she’s gone. You almost can’t believe it. Just like that. Gone.

  Kip starts to sob.

  You try to be brave. “We’ll find her again. I know we will,” you say. “We’ve come this far together. Through all this craziness.”

  A low growl from the stone stairs lets you know there’s more craziness to come. “Who’s there?” you demand.

  “Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!” The Evil Knight’s scream echoes out across the courtyard.

  The growl on the stairs turns to a howl answering the scream of the Knight! Then, a huge, black catlike creature with yellow eyes appears around the bend in the stairs.

  “Kip. Over there,” you say as quietly as you can.

  Turn to PAGE 61.

  The antique cuckoo clock in the corner is strange. But it’s nothing compared to the clock hanging on the wall next to it! “This clock looks like something from the future,” you say to Kip and Abbey.

  “It’s pretty. Like me,” Abbey declares. “I’m taking it down to get a closer look.” She stands on tiptoe and lifts the square clock down. You all gather around to see. The shimmering, silver, hologram clock face has three smaller clock faces on it. One face is silvery-green with wavy silver hands. One is hot pink with straight black hands. The last one’s fiery orange with no hands at all.

  “They’re set at different times,” you notice. You check your watch. It’s 1:00 A.M. You decide to reset the funny clock faces to the correct time.

  To turn the hands on the green clock face first, go to PAGE 5.

  To turn the hands on the pink clock face first, go to PAGE 109.

  If you’re fascinated by the orange clock face instead, turn to PAGE 68.

  There are hedgehogs squirming all over you. They jabber away: “Chitter … chee chee chitter chirt … chim chitter cheech.”

  “They’re talking to each other!” you mutter through a mouthful of hedgehog spines. Two hedgehogs are holding a meeting right on your face. It doesn’t feel very good. You manage to sit up. Dozens of the balled-up hedgehogs roll off you then pounce on you again.

  “Chirt cheett churnchit cheeeet!” the lead hedgehog squeals. Three hedgehogs nesting in Abbey’s hair look up.

  The ones on Kip’s shoulders curl into balls and roll down his chest. Spiny fur balls roll out of your sleeves, off your head, out of Abbey’s hair, and even out from inside your shoes!

  “Chirt cheett churnchit cheeeet!” the biggest hedgehog says again. In a flash, they scurry back into the hedges behind you.

  What’s going on? You feel a blast of wind. It’s warm, not cold. You raise your eyes up to the hills. A dark mist is rolling down over them.

  “Hey,” you say. “We’d better get out of here. Whatever that mist is, those little animals were scared of it.”

  “Where are we going to go?” Abbey asks.

  If you return to the hedges, turn to PAGE 23.

  If you wait where you are to see what’s coming, turn to PAGE 75.

  You’re falling fast, but not fast enough to escape hot drool dripping from the beast’s mouth. The beast leans over the edge of the bell tower wall. You get a faceful of steaming spit. Before the next big loogie hits you, the giant nighthawk flies under you and Kip. It catches you on its back and swoops upward.

  You don’t know where this black bird of night is taking you. As you look back at the beast you know one thing for sure: Wherever you’re going has got to be better than where you’ve just been!

  If the bird turns left, turn to PAGE 115.

  If the bird turns right, turn to PAGE 53.

  If the rescue mission takes a turn for the worse, turn to PAGE 74.

  “You can just forget that Screaming Armor story!” Abbey snaps before Kip gets a chance to answer you. “It’s totally stupid and it’s not even true.”

  But long after everyone has gone to sleep, you lie awake thinking about the crates in your garage.

  Hours later, you’ve just dozed off when you are awakened by a chilling scream — and it’s coming from the garage.

  “The curse!” you gasp.

  If you try to ignore the scream, turn to PAGE 13.

  If you investigate the chilling shriek, turn to PAGE 19.

  Led by the Evil Knight, the whole herd of sheep stampedes! Terror grips you, as the thundering herd bears down on the three of you. You are about to be trampled!

  The stampede sounds like a sonic boom. You wrap your arms around your head and wait to feel the pain of a hundred little hooves pounding you into the grass. So this is how he plans to destroy us, you think. You open your mouth to scream, but you can’t hear anything over the thundering of sheep feet.

  Then, suddenly, there’s nothing but the sound of screaming. Your own screaming. You peek through your arms.

  The stampeding herd is gone. The hills are gone. All that’s left are prickle bushes. You’re buried in prickle bushes. And they hurt!

  Turn to PAGE 132.

  Leaving the three-faced monster behind, the three of you lunge for the back door of the cottage. “Locked again!” you cry, shaking the handle furiously.

  “The key!” Kip reminds you. “Try the key!”

  You fumble in your pocket, pull out the key, and put it in the lock. Just as you feel the key start to turn, yo
u hear the monster trio chanting a series of mumbo-jumbo words:

  “Sliziwick, whizaslick, haggedly zee.

  Make three into one with the turn of the key!”

  The key turns. The door opens. The three of you push against each other trying to be the first one out.

  You push. Kip pushes harder. Abbey pushes hardest! She pushes too hard.

  The monster’s spell has worked. All that pushing squashes your bodies together into one.

  POP! You fall outside.

  But the turn of the key has made you a three-faced, one-bodied monster just like the old man! All you know is two heads may be better than one, but three heads add up to one big headache!

  THE END

  “The end?” you challenge. “In your dreams, you hunk of junk! You won’t get rid of us so fast.”

  Much to your cousins’ surprise, you spring into action. You reach past the Knight to a shelf on the garage wall. You grab a can of motor oil and flip open the pop-top. You pour it over the armored arms that hold Abbey in a deadly grip.

  “Aahh!” Abbey shrieks as the oily liquid covers her head. But thanks to the oil, she slides right through the circling arms of iron. She’s free!

  Now you can get back to the business of closing up the EVIL KNIGHT crate. The three of you grab hammers, nails, and ropes from the garage work-bench. The Evil Knight’s arms flail about. They’re covered in the thick goopy oil. You hurry to seal up the wooden crate again.

  It feels great to be back in control of things again. But the feeling doesn’t last. Now the crate marked GOOD KNIGHT is rattling. A white light pierces right through the wood slats and zooms in on you, almost blinding you. The door pops open, ripping the leather straps. A vision of a knight, a knight in shining armor, fills your view. You squint and shield your eyes with your hands. The face on the knight is YOUR face!

  The bright light fades away. You’re left staring into the crate at a floating piece of parchment.

  Pick it up on PAGE 70.

  “Let’s go to the right,” Kip says as he pulls prickles from his arms and legs. “I don’t like the looks of that cottage over there. Why would anyone live out here in the middle of nowhere?”

  A pixie giggles and the cottage disappears! “Now it’s over here, not over there!” The pixie laughs. “Do you like it over here?” The cottage magically appears behind you. “Or do you like it over here?” Another pixie giggles as the cottage turns up on your left.

  “Over here. Over there. It doesn’t really matter where,” the two pixies sing together. “Where you are is where you’re not, when a pixie’s spell you’ve got!”

  “You should take the chance to hide,” one sings, pointing to the magic cottage. “The Wicked One won’t look inside,” the other one sings.

  The sudden shrill shriek of the Evil Knight sets your feet running. “If the Evil Knight destroys us before we can break the curse, no Saxton will ever be safe,” you pant as you run. “He’s coming. Hurry! We have to go hide in that cottage over there. Like it or not!”

  Run to the cottage on PAGE 82.

  You lie there among the rocks for a moment. Your head is still spinning from your fall.

  “Are you all right?” Abbey asks.

  “We saw the whole thing!” Kip says with admiration. “I give it a perfect ten. You were fantastic!”

  “I thought you were turning to stone!” you sputter.

  “Ha! That’s a good one.” Abbey laughs. “We were just trying to keep still. We didn’t want to start an avalanche while you were up there.”

  “Yeah,” Kip explains. “It’s just like with snow. The slightest movement or sound might bring everything tumbling down.”

  That’s it. An avalanche. “Kip, you’re a genius!” you exclaim.

  “I am?”

  “He is?” Abbey looks amazed.

  “An avalanche. That’s the way to get that shimmering thing. It will help us. I just know it. And if not, maybe an avalanche can help us get out of this horrible place,” you explain.

  Before they can stop you, you pick up a good-sized rock and throw it as far as you can up the slope.

  Pieces of rock start to cascade down the rock face. You, Kip, and Abbey scramble to the edge of the slope out of the way.

  Scramble over to PAGE 121.

  In a flash, Abbey is back. But she’s not Abbey anymore. At least not most of her. It’s her head — complete with long blond hair — on the body of a gigantic black bird. Nighthawk Abbey swoops down from the black night sky. “Awwk! Awwk!” she squawks. She flaps her wings and dive-bombs you and Kip.

  “Duck!” you shout to Kip.

  “Hawk!” Abbey screeches from above. Then she swoops down on you again.

  You hear the flapping of her giant wings as she flies by your head and digs her sharp claws into your skull. You scream out in pain!

  Without stopping she turns in midair and attacks Kip with the same skull-cracking force.

  “Abbey! Abbey! It’s me!” Kip pleads. “Don’t do this!” Abbey circles, ready for another attack.

  “Ring the bell!” you shout to Kip. “Maybe the noise will scare her away!”

  Kip reaches his hand up for the side of the bell. His fingers just miss it as Abbey the Nighthawk flies between the bell and his hand. She opens her mouth and closes it tightly on the back of his shirt. With Kip dangling from her teeth, she swoops down over you and grips your shirt with her hawk claws.

  Get carried away to PAGE 43.

  Your coin landed on heads, so heads it is. You push the button. The glass wall slides open to a low-ceilinged room. A sign above the door warns you to WATCH YOUR HEAD.

  You duck down slightly as you enter a room with rows and rows of shelves lined with heads from medieval times! There are women’s heads, men’s heads, and even weird heads of beasts.

  “How strange!” Abbey gasps.

  “They look so real,” Kip says. He’s pretty scared.

  “They’re just mannequin heads.” You laugh a little nervously. “Probably the museum uses them in exhibits to model old hats and stuff.”

  “You might be right,” Abbey says as she walks along one of the rows of heads. She stops in front of one of them. She smiles. It looks like the head of a queen. “Now here’s something I could get into. Check out the diamonds on that tiara. I wouldn’t mind modeling that myself!”

  What you see next makes your eyes bulge.

  “Abbey!” you sputter. “What happened?”

  Follow Abbey’s head to PAGE 79.

  “It’s no use,” Abbey complains breathlessly after running first one way and then the other. “The cottage is never where it seems to be. I’m too tired to run anymore.”

  “So am I,” Kip says, collapsing on the ground next to his sister. “We’ll just have to take our chances with the Knight in Screaming Armor. I need some sleep.”

  “No! We can’t sleep!” you say. “I’m tired, too, but if we sleep, the Evil Knight will destroy us.”

  Everything is quiet now. You fight sleep. Abbey and Kip fight it, too, but you can see they are losing. They both fall into a deep sleep.

  Only you are awake to stand guard. A cloud rolls over the moon. It’s impossible to see anything. Behind you a crackling of underbrush signals a footstep.

  “Who goes there?” you shout into the darkness.

  No answer.

  The footsteps crush the brush again. You hear breathing. Closer. Closer. Slowly, you reach a hand out in front of you. In total darkness your fingers touch … metal!

  Go to PAGE 37.

  The loud SLAM of the door startles you. You jump two feet into the air. When you come back down, the floor beneath you opens up.

  “A trapdoooooooor!” you exclaim. The three of you plunge downward. It seems like you’re falling for a while. Then your luck changes. You land on a soft bed covered with brown cloth.

  “Whew!” you sigh, catching your breath. “I don’t know where we are. But am I glad to be away from that old guy. I can’t exp
lain it, but his voice really gave me the creeps!”

  “I keep telling Abbey the same thing,” Kip teases. “I can’t explain it, but her face really gives me the creeps.”

  “Don’t push your luck, Kip,” Abbey warns, and she whacks him with a piece of brown cloth.

  “What are these, anyway?” Kip asks. He lifts up the coarse brown sheet that just hit his face.

  “They’re monks’ robes!” Abbey answers. “See?” She puts one on over her head. She looks just like a monk in a movie.

  “Cool!” You and Kip try them on, too, just for fun. “What are they doing in this old guy’s basement?”

  “Shhhh!” Abbey hushes you. “Listen!”

  The sound of low chanting comes from somewhere above you. “Do you think it’s the Knight in Screaming Armor?” you ask. “It sounds more like singing than moaning.”

  Tiptoe to PAGE 123.

  You gasp. All around you, cages hold hideous mutant faces and monstrous shapes. Something about them looks strangely familiar, too. Then you realize — the Evil Knight has gathered together all of the most terrifying creatures FROM YOUR OWN WORST NIGHTMARES!

  To the right — there behind those bars — looms a hulking purple mound of slime. It has two enormous, watery, yellow eyes and it’s sweating snails! They pop out of its skin and crawl toward you! “Oh, gross!” you hear yourself say.

  Just to your left is the dark and silent outline of an executioner with a broad, flat ax. Without thinking, you grab your neck. Your eyes grow wider.

  There are vampire bats, tarantulas, and a howling werewolf with mucus-slimed fur. Next to the werewolf, cages of scraggly-haired, wart-covered old women reach for you through slime-covered bars.