by M. Tasia
Jesse wanted to believe him, but he knew better. Jerry would never give up now, considering he’d just been humiliated. Jesse didn’t want to have to run again; he wanted to make a stand here but was that fair to Royce and the people of Brighton?
*****
Royce knew something wasn’t right but Jesse refused to share what was on his mind. Jesse’s silence was frustrating. Royce could handle yelling or crying, but silence drove him nuts. He knew Jesse was feeling guilty for Travis being hurt, no matter how many times he was told he wasn’t responsible. Luckily, Travis didn’t have any major injuries, but he did have a minor concussion.
They spent that night wrapped in each other’s arms, both reeling from such an open and vicious attack. Royce was gently stroking Jesse’s hair as Jesse ran his fingers through Royce’s chest hair. The lovers were both quiet as they comforted one another, cocooned in the safety of their bed. Tomorrow would come but for this one moment they found peace together in the silence.
Still, days later, a fear like he’d never felt before after pulling into the parking lot to see Jesse fighting a man with a knife, still remained fresh in his memory. Royce had always been considered the calm one in chaotic situations, which had always helped, considering he was a paramedic. But when he saw Jesse covered in blood, he froze. The fear of having to bury the second man he’d ever loved felt like someone had reached around his throat and squeezed.
His husband, Daniel, and he had been high school sweethearts and after he’d died, Royce simply shut down for years. He never dreamed he’d have a chance to feel that type of all-encompassing love again until the day he’d met Jesse. Now he had the opportunity for a life filled with love and happiness that he refused to give up at any cost.
“So are you going to sit there and stare out the diner window like a lost puppy the entire time they’re gone?” Gabe asked before taking another gulp of his coffee. “They’re safe. Coop’s with them while they shop. You know I would never put Johnny or Jesse in danger.”
“I know, Gabe, but he’s been distant from me since the fight. Jesse blames himself for everything that’s happened no matter what I say. He thinks he brought all of this to Brighton and anything that happens is completely his fault alone,” Royce explained.
“None of this is his fault. Jerry and the men who are following him are solely accountable for all their own actions.” Gabe looked shocked to even hear Jesse was taking complete responsibility for everything that happened. “You mentioned the Sentinels are checking into Jesse’s family to try to uncover what’s going on.”
“Yeah, they’re trying to get as much information on his parents as they can to see if they can approach them for answers. I don’t hold out much hope that they will be any help. For all we know they’re the ones who sent Jerry here in the first place, but why?” Royce asked, still not taking his eyes off the street even though Jesse and Johnny had already gone inside the store.
“Royce…Royce, look at me,” Gabe ordered, his tone sharp. Royce grudgingly complied and Gabe continued. “Tell me what’s really going on.”
Royce buried his face in his hands before answering, “I can’t lose him. I can’t lose another man I love, Gabe. I believe Jesse’s thinking about leaving Brighton to take the danger away from the town.”
“What? He wouldn’t leave you.” Gabe’s voice had taken on a hard edge.
“He would if he thought I was in danger. I need him to stay here with me and make a stand, but I honestly don’t know if he will,” Royce explained.
“Have you talked to him about your fears?” Gabe asked.
“Every time I try to bring it up he changes the subject and the last time he left the room. What am I supposed to think?” Royce asked.
“You need to sit him down and talk. You’re assuming a lot here. You don’t know what he’s thinking for sure,” Gabe advised.
“He won’t talk to me. It’s as if by staying silent he’s still trying to protect me.”
“You never struck me as a man who gave up so easily or allowed anything to get in his way. I guess things have changed,” Gabe suggested.
“Nothing has changed. I don’t give up. Especially when it comes to Jesse. I’ll pin him down tonight and get some straight answers.” Royce knew that would be easier said than done but he had to try.
“Now that’s the man I know.” Gabe flashed him his usually carefree grin and went back to devouring his chicken potpie.
Royce would have to push Jesse into having this discussion. He was avoiding any mention of his cousin or the fight the other night and his family’s involvement. It was as if it never happened. It was a strange way to look at it but still true. He had to get Jesse to let him in one way or another.
Chapter Six
Jesse sat in one of the oversized chairs in the center of the only men’s store in Brighton as Johnny spoke with the owner. He’d asked Jesse to come with him today to look at suits for his upcoming wedding to Gabe. It had been almost a week since the attack in the parking lot and both he and Travis were back to work at the diner. Though Jesse had been avoiding any talk of the fight, he had apologized to Travis, who like everyone else, refused to blame him.
Jesse knew he’d been acting distant from everyone since the incident but he couldn’t let go of the guilt he was carrying. It felt as though he couldn’t stand up straight with the weight of it all sometimes.
“Jesse.”
He looked up to find Johnny standing a few feet away. He looked nervous, which immediately put Jesse on alert. “Johnny, what’s wrong?” Jesse asked as he scanned the area. Nothing seemed out of place but that didn’t mean a thing.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just need to talk to you about something,” Johnny replied softly.
“But you’re okay, right?” Jesse asked. He would do anything to make sure the gentle man was not hurt by any of this. Johnny was kind to everyone and deserved the good stuff out of life, not the shit following Jesse around.
“Yes,” Johnny confirmed with a smile. “I just wanted to ask you something. It’s important to me and I’m a little nervous.”
“You can ask me anything. We’re friends after all. If you need something I’m here to help.” Jesse didn’t know why Johnny was nervous, but he’d do anything to help his friend.
“I wanted to ask you to be my best man, and if you agree I brought you here today to get your measurements for your suit.” Johnny sat down beside Jesse, his eyes fixed on a mannequin a few feet away.
“So you brought me to get a suit before you even asked?” Jesse couldn’t help but tease a little; in all good conscience he wouldn’t make Johnny wait long for an answer. Or it might have been the fact that he couldn’t hide the smile on his face. “Yes, I would be honored to be your best man.”
Johnny turned, eyes bright with tears. “You will?” he asked.
“Of course. We’re good friends, Johnny,” Jesse assured.
“Before I came to Brighton I was never given a chance to build any real friendships. Only families my father deemed to have the right kind of children to associate with. The best money could buy,” Johnny stated sarcastically. “Not one of them knew the real me or even cared.”
“I care about you and I see the real you; you’re a kind and generous man who I’m honored to call a true friend,” Jesse said softly, not wanting others in the store to hear their private conversation. “Now how about we pick out a suit for me because we both know it’s going to take a while for them to tailor it to my body.” To stress his point, Jesse flexed his muscles, making Johnny laugh just as Jesse had planned.
Hours later, Jesse had been measured from top to bottom and way too closely to some personal places in between. They decided on a dark gray single-breasted, three-piece wool suit. Half the time it felt like Johnny and the tailor were speaking in their own special language about cuts, how it hung, vents…Jesse was lost but Johnny was happy, and that was all that mattered.
“You’re going to look great,” Johnny gushed. �
��Has Royce ever seen you in a suit?”
“Well, considering this is my first one…no,” Jesse teased, and smiled at a happy Johnny. The man could light up a room when he smiled.
“He’s going to be blown away. You’ll rock that suit, I promise,” Johnny said, and Jesse found he had a little less weighing him down compared to earlier. He had friends, he was a best man, and he had his first suit. All things he never thought would happen. Then add the man who meant everything to him, and his world was just about perfect. If only Jerry and his men would leave town, then it would be.
“How could I not look amazing with you overseeing everything? Now we need to get back to the diner before the guys send out a search party for us.” Jesse laughed.
“Okay,” Johnny said and the two headed for the door.
As they walked they discussed all the things a best man was responsible for, considering Jesse had no idea what it entailed. Thankfully, both he and Royce were in this together because Jesse had never been close enough to anyone to be considered their best man. Johnny was still talking about flowers and colors when Jesse noticed an older-model van with darkly tinted windows drive by for the second time. Johnny was oblivious to the possible danger. Either that, or Jesse was overly sensitive to changes around him. Jesse scanned the area in search of any one of the Sentinels who should be watching over him, and found Coop on the opposite side of the street, talking on his phone and watching the van like a hawk.
As they approached the diner, Jesse noticed two black SUVs were parked along the side of the road and one police vehicle was in the process of pulling over the van.
“Wow. I wonder what that guy did wrong to get Officer Bo’s attention and why are there Sentinels here?” Johnny asked, watching Jesse closely. “Wait, is something wrong, Jesse? Are those the men who keep following you, your family?”
“I’m not sure. The van’s driven down the street three times since we left the men’s store. They’re just being careful.” Jesse was pretty sure it was Jerry or the last two of his men, but he didn’t want to worry Johnny and ruin their day.
“Let’s get into the diner. I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this,” Johnny said as he sped up into an almost jog.
Jesse went with him and made sure to keep his body in a position to block any view of Johnny from the van. The last thing Jesse wanted was to have another person hurt because of his past.
When they opened the door, Royce and Gabe were already coming their way.
“We just saw the police and were coming to get you two. What’s happened?” Royce asked while scanning the street. “Who’s in the van?”
“Not sure but they’ve driven around the block three times so far. I guess it raised Coop’s suspicions and he called in the troops,” Jesse explained.
The four watched along with everyone else in the diner as two of Jerry’s men were pulled from the van. Jesse hung his head in shame. They’ll never give up, it was only a dream that I could live in peace. Solid arms wrapped around him, giving Jesse the strength to open his eyes and look down into a pair troubled green ones. Royce didn’t say a word, for which Jesse was grateful; he just held him, lending Jesse his strength.
“You don’t be worrying about those evil men, Jesse.” A soft voice came from behind him. Royce released him, allowing Jesse to turn around to be met by two older men. Both had to be in their eighties, one with a cane and the other with a walker. Jesse had seen the pair in the diner every afternoon since he’d started working here. “My husband and I are too old to give those men a run for their money, but we have strappin’ children that want to pitch in.” Children. Jesse had often dreamed of adoption when he was a child, hoping his parents would send him away to be raised by anyone else.
Jesse stood in shock. These men wanted to help protect him, even though they really didn’t know him. It was humbling.
Three middle-aged men stepped forward and shook Jesse’s hand. “We haven’t had the opportunity to introduce ourselves but Royce knows us well.” The tallest of the three spoke: “I’m Bill and these are my brothers James and Chad. We’d be happy to volunteer to help in any way possible. We have a few hands on the ranch as well, who would like to help search for any of those bastards left. Nobody messes with the people in our town.”
“Language, young man,” one of the older men scolded. Jesse laughed, seeing how contrite Bill was.
“Sorry, Pa.”
Before Jesse had a chance to say anything Royce stepped in. “Thank you, guys. We appreciate any help you can offer.”
“Yes, thank you. I’m honored you want to help us,” Jesse said. “Please stay safe though—they have no issue with using weapons and I don’t think they’re worried about anyone getting in their way any longer,” he explained.
“Don’t worry. We live in Texas. I’d say about eighty percent of the people standing in this here diner are armed,” Bill said. To prove the point several people in the diner produced various handguns; even old Ms. Chan, who ran the local knitting club, pulled out a bedazzled .380 caliber gun from her flowered handbag. “And all of ours are legal. I doubt they can say the same.”
“Let’s get going, babe, that’s enough for one day,” Royce suggested, but Jesse could tell there was something bothering his partner. Maybe he’s finally getting sick of all this bullshit going on around him. Jesse’s heart plummeted like lead, and a sick feeling filled his stomach as he searched Royce’s eyes for answers. Royce simply looked as concerned as Jesse imagined he himself was appearing right about now.
First he had to do something he dreaded doing. “I’m sorry, Gabe and Johnny, but I don’t think I can be one of your best men. I don’t want anything to happen at your wedding.” Jesse couldn’t risk anyone getting hurt at his friend’s wedding.
Suddenly his arms were full of a distraught Johnny. “No, you’re my best man, period. The wedding is months off and everything will be cleared up by then.”
“I don’t want to risk you.” Jesse tried again but Johnny wouldn’t hear it. He simply gave him a watery smile and followed Gabe to the door without replying.
“Let’s go home, honey,” Royce said. “The car’s out back.”
“Okay.” Jesse agreed. By now the police were gone, taking Jerry’s men with them. He knew he’d have to go to the police station eventually but would put it off until morning. Royce led him out the back door and into the passenger seat of their car. He felt numb. Have I finally snapped? After all the years of being hunted, the only safe place he’d ever had was no longer safe and the man he loved might be having second thoughts. Numb was the best way to describe it.
“Jesse…Jesse, honey, we’re home.” He looked out the window and was shocked to see they were inside their garage. He’d missed the entire drive from the diner. He got out of the car but stood rooted to the spot.
There, stored in the second half of the garage, sat his Harley. He hadn’t ridden her in weeks. Jesse thought he should take her out for a ride. Her chrome gleamed in the sunlight coming in through the open garage door and her black paint shined. She was a beauty and Jesse had worked for years to buy her. Typically, before that, he went from town to town by bus. She gave him freedom, and right now if he were a decent person he would be hopping on her and taking the danger away from Brighton.
“Jesse?” Royce was at his side while he stood there and stared at his bike. “Tell me what you’re thinking baby, please?”
Jesse thought for a long moment… Hell no, I can’t tell him that. It didn’t seem right to lay that worry on Royce on top of everything else, and still healing from being shot. “I’m okay.” He hated lying to Royce but he had to protect him even if it was only from Jesse’s own thoughts and fears.
“Bullshit,” Royce growled. “If you don’t want to talk about it, say that, but don’t lie to me, never lie to me. Are you leaving me?”
“I should. It’s for the best,” Jesse answered, never once looking Royce in the eyes.
“But I love you. I’ll
protect you,” Royce swore.
“You won’t be enough. They’ll hurt people to get to me.” Jesse realized too late what he’d said, but before he could explain Royce took over.
“My love and protection isn’t enough. If you’re going to run every time life gets tough, then go, I won’t stop you.” Royce stormed into the house, leaving Jesse alone with his thoughts. He took a single step to follow Royce and explain, but stopped himself and with a deep sigh, turned around and walked toward his bike.
*****
Royce heard the deep rumbling and knew his hopes that they could work this out had disappeared. The roar of Jesse’s bike as it pulled out of the driveway and away from their house felt like a stab to his chest. Was it still “their” house? Was he coming back? Was he safe? Royce didn’t have the answers and a sick feeling began to spread through his body. Jesse had left him. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on him. But Jesse was keeping things from him and Royce was frustrated. He’d spent the last few weeks afraid Jesse would be hurt or leave. Well, he left.
The pain was starting to set in. Jesse left. The realization hit home like a sledgehammer. He left me. Royce couldn’t understand why Jesse hadn’t taken his things with him. Maybe he’s coming back? Royce didn’t know what to think. He never thought Jesse would just take off like this because they’d always found it easy to talk things out up until now.
Royce wandered through his empty house room by room…rooms he’d hoped and prayed would be filled with children someday. He’d always dreamt of giving children with special needs a good home and viewed adoption as the option for him. But when Daniel had died, so had that dream, until Jesse came along. Now his pain was becoming intense, and Royce knew unless you’d suffered through the loss of the person you love, there was no way of properly describing it. But the closest he could imagine was paralyzing, painful emptiness creeping into his heart and soul.
Should he go look for him or wait here? What would he do if Jesse didn’t come back? That one thought alone kept him pacing the floors. He stopped by the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer before continuing on with his silent vigil. The more he thought about everything that had happened, the more worked up he got. Hell, he’d already lost one man he’d loved. Royce couldn’t help but wonder how he’d pissed off fate so badly that this was happening to him again.
