by M. S. Parker
“Mom, Dad, this is Ashlee Webb, my girlfriend.”
“It’s wonderful to meet you both,” Ashlee said with a smile.
Mom went in for a hug as Dad and I shuffled our feet and tried to pretend that we weren’t looking each other over. His hair was grayer than it was ginger now, and most of the top was gone. His eyes were still the sharpest sort of blue, missing nothing.
He’d finally started softening a little, I saw. Physically, at least. I’d gotten my broad shoulders and build from him, my height from both he and Mom, but he’d always intimidated me. Not that I’d ever let it show.
“You can call me Tabitha,” Mom said to Ashlee. “And you can call him Lex.”
I was suddenly glad that Mom had put that out there because I hadn’t even thought of what I’d do if Ashlee called my father ‘Mr. Lexington.’
“Nice to meet you.” Dad’s voice was gruff but polite.
“You too.”
Movement from behind my parents caught my attention, and I saw my older brother and his family coming into the living room. They must’ve been waiting in the kitchen, either not wanting to overwhelm Ashlee or because Mom had asked for a minute or two with just her and Dad. The latter made more sense. I could see some of the worry on Mom’s face ease when neither Dad nor I started sniping at each other.
“Ashlee, this is my older brother, David, and his wife, Julia.”
David was even bigger than I remembered. At least two inches taller than me and a good thirty pounds heavier. Next to him, Julia looked even more delicate than usual. She was actually the most like I remembered. She and David had been high school sweethearts, so she’d been around for pretty much all of the drama between my family and me.
“Nice to meet you.” Ashlee stepped forward with her hand out.
To my relief, both David and Julia shook Ashlee’s hand and greeted her politely. Hanging back behind their parents were the niece and nephew I barely knew…and that was being generous.
Catherine hadn’t even been a toddler the last time I’d seen her, and I’d never even met Jacob. I always sent gifts for their birthdays and Christmas, letting Mom give them to the kids to make sure no one threw them out, but I didn’t know if they could connect my face to my name.
“These are our kids,” Julia said softly. “Catherine and Jacob.”
Both kids waved at Ashlee and me, the expressions on their faces saying they could sense the tension but didn’t know why. I appreciated that. I hadn’t known if David had been bad-mouthing me all these years. Maybe, if things got better, I’d be able to thank him for it.
The backdoor closed, and I didn’t need the sudden silence to know who’d just come inside. A moment later, my little brother walked into the living room. L.A. had agreed with him. He’d always been a good-looking kid, but now that he’d lost the last of the baby-face he’d had even through college, he was a handsome man. And a little taller than David, I saw. Not as broad, but Joshua had always been leaner than David and me.
Movement to his left drew my attention to a short woman with jet-black hair and an expression on her face that said she didn’t take shit from anyone. I wondered if she was the reason Joshua had come back to New York after all these years. Between the way she carried herself and the way Joshua looked at her, I had a feeling she was one of the few people who could get my stubborn-ass brother to do anything.
I knew the feeling.
“Ashlee.” Joshua nodded at my girlfriend, who nodded back. “Nate.”
“Hey, Joshua,” I said, hating how unsure I felt. Ashlee squeezed my hand, reminding me that I wasn’t here alone.
“This is Trissa Harring, my girlfriend.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Ashlee said, giving Trissa a warm smile.
“You too.” Trissa came over to give Ashlee one of those small hugs that women sometimes gave to each other but looked weird when men tried to do it. Or maybe that was just the men in my family.
“When are we going to eat?”
Leave it to an eight-year-old boy to say the one thing that could move things along before they could get even more awkward.
We’d made it all the way up to dessert without anyone shouting, throwing things, or mentioning Calah. That alone would’ve made it a win in my book. Granted, the conversation had gotten a bit stilted a few times, but each time, Jacob had inevitably said something that had made us laugh, and things became smooth again for a little while.
Then there was my little toy, and the reactions only I noticed. I’d intentionally picked this specific model of bullet vibrator because it was subtle enough to be used in public without anyone hearing it. Only the slightest changes to Ashlee’s breathing when I pressed the button indicated that it was working.
I’d kept it to only a few seconds every ten or fifteen minutes until this last time when I’d let it go a little longer. She’d grabbed my leg under the table, squeezing until I’d clicked it off, then excused herself to the restroom.
I’d been tempted to follow, if only to see just how wet she was, but my family had been watching me closely all night, and I had no doubt they’d know where I went if I disappeared. Aside from embarrassing Ashlee, it would’ve felt disrespectful, hooking up with my girlfriend in my childhood home. What I was already doing toed the line enough for me.
Now, as I waited for her to come back, Mom and Julia went to the kitchen to get dessert, and I listened to Catherine talking about how excited she was for the new Golden Words release. I made a mental note to get a signed souvenir for her and to thank Mom for making sure my niece and nephew knew at least a little about me, even though I hadn’t been around.
“Gramma says that when I’m older, maybe you can get tickets to a concert for me.” Catherine glanced at her dad as she spoke, and I wondered if David would allow it. I hoped he would, for Catherine’s sake at least.
I hadn’t realized just how much I’d been missing out on until I was sitting right in the middle of it. I’d buried myself in my work long before I’d started Manhattan Records. For as long as I could remember, I’d tried to find something I could do well, something to excel at. I’d wanted to prove that I was worthy of my family’s attention.
I hadn’t been neglected, but I’d always known that I was…out of place. David had been Dad’s little helper since he could walk. Joshua was Mom’s baby. Neither one of them had ever needed to do much to get our parents’ attention. Or so I’d always thought. Now, I couldn’t figure out how much of that had been the truth, and how much had just been the way I’d seen the world.
Even after we’d become estranged, I’d kept pushing myself. I’d told myself it wasn’t because I needed to prove myself anymore. I did it because I liked working hard. I liked earning money. I liked the way people looked at me when they knew how important I was.
Sitting here, talking to Catherine, waiting for Ashlee, seeing my family all together…I couldn’t help but think that maybe I needed to sort out my priorities and decide what I truly wanted out of my life.
Twenty-Eight
Ashlee
I didn’t know if I hated Nate’s new toy or loved it.
He hadn’t used it to the point where it’d hurt or that I’d actually climaxed, but it’d certainly been enough that my new panties had been soaked through before we’d made it to dessert. I’d even had to excuse myself, so I could dry myself off as much as possible before returning to the table. I’d never been so grateful for denim in my life. If I’d been wearing something thin, I would’ve been completely humiliated.
All of that, though, I’d endured willingly, safe in the knowledge that all I’d needed to do was whisper my safe word and Nate would’ve immediately stopped. I’d seen the emotions on his face each time he’d pressed the button, and I hadn’t asked him to stop.
It’d been that one thing that’d kept my safe word locked away. The pride he’d had in me had been part of it, but more than that had been the relief I’d seen underneath every time he’d pressed the button.
I’d given that to him. By allowing him that control, I’d helped him face something difficult in a way that no one else could have. I’d taken care of him the way he’d been taking care of me.
Now, as I followed Nate out to the car, I barely felt the chill of the wind. The warmth curling inside me wasn’t something the weather could touch. I’d felt similar heat before, but it had always been the result of Nate’s attentions on me. Granted, he’d been paying attention to me tonight, but it hadn’t been about me this time. It’d been for him.
Was this how it was for him? The way it felt to take care of someone in a way that a lot of people couldn’t understand. People got things like bringing someone food, cleaning up, fixing something, that sort of thing. Not many people understood that there was another way to care for someone. Hell, I hadn’t understood it before Nate. Not really.
“Thank you,” Nate said as he pulled away from the curb. He glanced at me, something softer in his eyes than usual. “I don’t know if I could’ve gotten through tonight without you.”
I reached over to take his hand, and he threaded his fingers between mine, the gesture feeling almost completely natural. I wondered how long it would take for me to not have a thrill run through me when we touched or if it would ever go away.
I hoped it wouldn’t.
“Thank you for letting me help you tonight.” I ran my thumb back and forth across his skin.
He gave me a sideways look. “And how are you feeling about that help?”
I blushed. “Honestly, I’m feeling a bit…wound up.”
He chuckled at my word choice. “I know the feeling.” He raised our hands and kissed mine, then went back to weaving his way through the New York traffic. “Would you like to come back to my place and…unwind?”
“Yes, Mr. Lexington.” He glanced at me, and I winked at him. “Do you have something special in mind?”
The expression on his face was answer enough.
This was going to be interesting.
Nate had a playroom. The bed was as large as the one in his guestroom, though not as big as the one in his bedroom, and it definitely had some specialty attachments. Attachments that made it easier to restrain me in all sorts of different ways. High posts on each corner. Leather restraints and metal rings at various points on each post.
He had one of those giant Xs too. A St. Andrew’s cross, or something like that. More leather restraints hung from the large piece. The same on the bench against the other wall. There was a chest of drawers over there too. I assumed there were all sorts of toys in it, but at the moment, I was more concerned with the items on the wall above it.
A flogger with what appeared to be soft leather strips. A thin, flexible piece of wood. A whip. A couple different-sized paddles that appeared to be made out of wood. A leather strap about an inch wide.
Nate’s attention was on these things as well, and I waited to see what he’d choose. He was stripped down to his boxer-briefs, and I took the opportunity to admire his firm ass while I waited. It was better than thinking about how I was standing next to one of the bedposts, stark-naked, my hands stretched over my head, wrists tied by either end of a soft cotton strip of cloth that was threaded through the metal ring near the top of the post.
We’d been two blocks from his place when he’d turned on the vibrator again, leaving it on this time until he’d handed his keys off to a valet. Only then had he turned it off, but I’d still needed him to help me make it to the elevator, my legs trembling from the nearly nonstop orgasm I’d had for half a block.
In fact, they still felt a little shaky.
Everything between my legs was throbbing, and we hadn’t even really started yet. I wondered what he’d do if I passed out like this.
“I’m trying to decide,” Nate interrupted my thoughts, “if I want to see what your ass looks like with thin red stripes or if I want to turn both those pretty cheeks into something hot pink.”
I had no idea what to hope he chose.
He reached up and plucked the cane from the wall. My stomach flipped as he swung it, and it whistled as it cut through the air. He wasn’t going to hit me that hard, I knew, but it still made my breathing quicken.
“You were amazing tonight,” Nate said as he turned toward me. “So, we’ll start with five, and if you can handle that like a good girl, it’ll stay with just those five.”
My mind spun for a second before I managed to get a question out. “What do I have to do to be a good girl?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Smart question.”
He came over to stand next to me, reaching out to slide the braid I’d made across his palm. His hand moved to my breast next, fingers teasing my nipple into a tight point as he made me wait for an answer to my smart question. I moaned as he pinched it lightly, sending a shiver through me.
“After each swat, say thank you, Mr. Lexington and nothing else.” He leaned down, putting his mouth next to my ear. “Five times. If you can do that, I’ll fuck you.”
“And if I can’t?”
He bit my earlobe. “Then we’ll try for five more.”
Fuck.
He stepped back, disappearing from my line of sight. I closed my eyes and tried not to tense. This was going to hurt, but Nate would make me feel good. I had absolutely no doubt about that. It’d just hurt worse if I was tense.
The first strike caught me off-guard, and I barely managed to hold back a yelp. I sucked in a breath and then spoke, my voice shaky. “Thank you, Mr. Lexington.”
The sting was sharper than it had been when he’d used his hand, but it wasn’t over as large of an area either. The second strike made me flinch, but it was no worse than the first, just on the other side.
“Thank you, Mr. Lexington.”
I could handle this. It wasn’t too bad.
And then number three landed across the first one, and it was all I could do not to make a sound. The place where the two crossed felt like I’d been stung…except more. Sharp pain mingled with a deeper, hot throbbing.
“Thank you, Mr. Lexington.” My voice wasn’t entirely even, but it didn’t break.
I wasn’t so sure I’d do as well on the last two.
The sound the cane made as it cut through the air made it worse, I decided. Knowing what was coming made my muscles automatically tense up, and when that fourth stroke met the second, my nails dug into my palms in my effort not to yell.
“Thank you, Mr. Lexington.” I forced the words out from between gritted teeth.
One more. I could get through one more.
“Last one,” Nate said. “Let’s make it count, shall we?”
Before I could process what he even meant by that, the cane whistled through the air before connecting with a loud crack. He’d managed to land across three of the four other lines, creating tiny explosions of pain to stand out brightly against the rest. These wouldn’t merely make my skin sensitive. I’d be lucky if I didn’t bruise.
I closed my eyes, biting my lip until I knew I could open my mouth without making sounds other than the single phrase I was permitted. He didn’t speak either, waiting for me to succeed or fail before following through on whatever would come next. Seconds ticked by in silence broken only by my harsh breathing.
“Thank you, Mr. Lexington.”
“Good work, le soleil.”
I let out a sigh of relief but didn’t relax. My body was too alive, too keyed up. Between my previous climax and Nate touching me, I’d been primed for more pleasure. Pain had confused me, putting my nerves on high alert, unsure what the next sensation would hold.
The familiar sound of a condom wrapper being ripped prompted my eyes to open, and a few seconds later, Nate’s hands were on my waist.
“I don’t want you holding anything back now,” he said, sliding his hands up my ribcage to cover my breasts.
His cock pressed against my ass, too much friction and pressure on the marks the cane had left, but I couldn’t bring myself to protest because all I
could think about now was how much I wanted him inside me and how good he always made me feel.
“Make as much noise as you want.” His tongue flicked out against my earlobe, and his fingers pinched my nipples, adding two more conflicting sensations. “My place is sound-proof, so you don’t need to worry about anyone hearing you.”
I appreciated him saying it, but I doubted even the threat of someone hearing would’ve been enough to stop me. The moment he’d told me I didn’t need to hold anything in, I’d began making embarrassing mewing sounds. Or rather, they would’ve been embarrassing if I would’ve been able to muster up the slightest hint of embarrassment. I couldn’t.
He kissed his way down my spine until he reached the small of my back. His lips stayed there as his hands dropped to knead my ass, making me gasp and squirm as he came in contact with the more sensitive spots.
“One day in the near future,” hot air puffed against my skin, “after I take your ass, I’m going to show you how it feels to have my mouth there too.”
Fuck.
“But right now, I just want to bury myself in that sweet little pussy of yours and make both of us come.”
Men who looked like him shouldn’t have been allowed to talk that way. It was definitely an unfair advantage.
Any other thoughts I might’ve had flew right out of my head as he sank his cock inside me with one unrelenting push. Everything became about the slip and slide friction of our bodies with only a thin layer of latex between us. The pain in my ass cheeks when he bottomed out. The ache in my arms from the position I was in. The new pressure on my scalp when he wrapped my braid around his fist to use it for leverage.
He rode me hard, not even pausing when I climaxed, but driving past it, letting it roll over me again, stronger than before. I was still calling out his name when he let out a guttural groan and pushed himself impossibly deep. He kissed my shoulder as he slumped over me, our bodies still joined.
