Just One Song

by Lynn, Stacey

  I also remember freezing like a fool the day he played his guitar without a shirt on and staring so hard I almost drooled. I force myself to walk, to move my feet and get into the bed so I don’t make the same mistake again. I’m thankful the only light on is by my bedside table because I’m standing in the dark where he can’t see me blush. A part of me wants him, for more than sleep.

  Zack leans on his side, watching me climb into bed. I feel like a middle schooler full of nerves at their first co-ed party when I get in and lay directly on my back. I turn to face him shyly.

  “Come here.” He practically growls it out with a low voice. I wonder if it’s taking as much self-control for him, as it is for me to not do what I suddenly feel like doing. He slowly, gently pulls me to him so my head is resting on his chest. Our bodies fit perfectly together. I feel his sculpted muscles all along the front of my body and swallow deeply.

  He chuckles softly as one hand plays with my hair. I lift my head so I can see more clearly.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I’m in your bed, Nicole.” I look at him, confused. “I just can’t believe I’m here. I was so worried on the plane here today that you would make me leave. But you told me you love me. I have never been happier.” He leans down and lightly kisses my forehead. “Go to sleep, love.”

  “I love you.” I lay my head back against his chest, feeling it rise and fall with every breath.

  I’m almost a sleep not two seconds later when I hear him whisper the words back to me. “I love you too.”

  ***

  I wake up in my bed alone. I rub my eyes trying to figure out if everything that happened was just a dream. But I smile when I roll over when I see the faint impression on the pillow next to me and the covers are wrinkled where Zack slept. I slept with Zack. I am filled with so much happiness at the thought of being with Zack I want to get up and dance across my room. I want to call Mia and squeal until her ear drums want to burst.

  I want to get out of bed and go find the man who’s missing.

  That is definitely a priority. I grab my robe from my closet and wrap it around my waist when the faint smell of coffee hits me. Wonderful, I think and smile to myself. He’s made me coffee.

  I’m not prepared for the sight in front of me when I see Zack this morning. I don’t know what’s different. When I hit the kitchen, his back is to me, his arms braced against the countertop. His favorite ball cap is on backwards and he’s wearing the same jeans and t-shirt he wore yesterday. Did he even bring luggage with him? I smile when I realize he didn’t. The thought of him being so desperate to see me that he hopped on a plane as soon as he could - just to see me – gives me all sorts of really unexplainable, but wonderful emotions.

  I wrap my arms around him when I reach him and breathe him in. He smells like soap and sleep and, just him. I love it.

  “Good morning,” I whisper as I press my cheek in between his shoulder blades.

  “Good morning to you. How’d you sleep?” He smiles when he turns around and returns my embrace.

  “Hmmm…perfect.” This way is even better. Now I get to press my cheek against his chest which is just how I fell asleep last night. “Better than I have in who knows how long.”

  “Me too.” He playfully tugs a lock of my hair and smiles. “I made you coffee.”

  “You’re the best.” I walk over to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup, black. It’s the only way I can drink it. I don’t need my coffee sweet, I just need the liquid fuel it gives me to wake up. There’s a feeling of peace in the air. A calmness that wasn’t here before, even with Zack. I want to breathe it in and enjoy it for as long as I can.

  We’re changing.

  Well, I’m changing. I didn’t realize how hard yesterday was for me, but now I understand how necessary it was. Forgiving the Linscum’s and spilling my guts to Mark and Zack has given me a sense of peace in my spirit that I haven’t had since the accident. I want to say it was long overdue, but considering Zack is standing in my kitchen, smiling at me like he wants to ravage me for breakfast, perhaps the timing is absolutely perfect.

  “You need to pack,” he says, pulling me from my thoughts - mostly of breakfast…and him.

  “How long should I pack for?” It occurs to me that I wasn’t in the room when he made the tickets last night. He’s invited me for Thanksgiving and the FCMA’s on Saturday. Will I only be there for a few days with him? I have nothing to rush home for since I still haven’t scheduled any new photography appointments.

  “Forever?” He sounds teasingly hopeful.

  My breath catches at the thought. Move to L.A. forever? He has to be joking. Surely he’s joking, right?

  “When is my return flight scheduled?” He says nothing.

  “Zack?” I ask him again. Surely he’s scheduled me to return at some point.

  He shrugs unashamedly with a cocky grin on his face. “It’s a one-way ticket.”

  I don’t know what to say to this, because I still can’t believe he would think moving to L.A. is the right thing to do right now. It’s too soon, obviously. We’ve just been back in the same state for less than twenty-four hours. I’m not sure what to do with this information. “I’ll just pack a bunch of stuff and we can figure it out when I get there. Okay?”

  He makes a face. “Fine.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I’m bouncing between excitement and nervousness as we wind our way through the streets of Santa Monica on our way to Zack’s house. The ocean smacks the cliffs below us as we travel along the coast. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m instantly thrilled I remembered to throw in a swimsuit. I’m sure the water is freezing, but I’ve never been to the Pacific Ocean, and the air is warm. It makes me want to throw on my swimsuit and splash in the ocean just to say I did it once.

  Darren stops at a pair of metal gates and punches in a code. The gates slowly open and I look at Zack. One of his hands holds mine on his lap. He looks relaxed. I am anything but relaxed right now.

  My mouth drops when we finally pull up the winding driveway.

  “This is your house?” This is not a house. It’s a sprawling museum, or mansion, or one story hotel. I can’t describe the monstrous southwestern-style building in front of me; but house, would not be the word I would ever think to use to describe it. That word is too simple, too small to explain what I’m seeing. I see what looks like a six…SIX car garage to the left. And the entire house curves into a moon shape. I didn’t even know they could make houses that curve in such a way. I’m mesmerized by the brick walk that I’m guessing goes towards the front door but I can’t see it past all the beautiful and luscious landscaping. Vibrant colored plants and flowers form one of the most beautiful gardens I’ve ever seen.

  “Yep.” It’s such a simple answer. I’m dumbfounded, completely flabbergasted that I actually know someone who lives in a house like this. I know its Zack. I know he’s a rock star and has, I guess, more millions than most people can ever dream of seeing in a lifetime; but still. This is just too much. I feel the same sense I had when I saw his bus. And that was a tour bus! But it’s so overwhelming when I’m forced to face how completely different our lives are. “I bought it for me and the band. All the bedrooms have their own suites and living areas; Garrett and Chase stay here all the time when we’re recording in L.A.”

  All the rooms? I don’t even want to know how many rooms there are. From the looks of things, a lot more than I have ever seen in a house. My eyes widen even larger. I didn’t even know my eyes could get as large as they are right now.

  Zack smiles and squeezes my hand. “It’s just a house, Nic. Take a deep breath.”

  I laugh while I breathe and end up snorting unattractively. Zack laughs at me and some of the tension I feel slips away. It’s just a house. That’s the most laughable statement I’ve heard in a really long time.

  “Come on. We’ll get settled, I’ll show you around, and then I want to take you to dinner tonight. It’s my tu
rn for you to meet someone.” His eyes are filled with a giddy mischief.

  “Who?” I want to know. I know he grew up close to here, and his mom and Sammy are coming in a few days. Who could it possibly be?

  He just quirks an eyebrow and holds out a hand to help me out of the SUV. “You’ll see.”

  I follow him as he pulls me into the house. I was right about the landscaping, the front door is back behind a secluded patio; completely hidden from all the trees and bushes in front of the house. I almost feel like I’m walking through a small forest just to get inside.

  I walk into the front of the house and am instantly frozen on the spot. I vaguely see furniture. Shadows of couches and tables and artwork on the wall, but I don’t really see it, because all that I can focus on is the view. The entire back of the house is one, enormous, wall of windows. They span the width of the monstrous room and reach from floor to ceiling. Just past the patio is an infinity pool that looks like it drops off a cliff, straight into the ocean. I ignore everything else and walk, feeling like I’m being pulled by the beautiful view, straight towards the windows. I’m so very glad the sun is shining without a cloud in the sky so I can get the full affect. Nothing - there is absolutely nothing I can say to explain the view in front of me. All I see is the brightest blue ocean, melting perfectly into the bright blue sky, speckled here and there with the whitecaps from the waves pushing against the shore that I can’t see.

  I sense Zack’s presence behind me as I stand at the wall of windows, just gawking. “This is just…wow…” I can’t even form a complete thought looking out the windows.

  “I know,” he replies and puts his arms around my waist from behind pulling me gently but firmly into him. “The view totally sold me on the house. I love it here.”

  “I can see why.” I speak in a reverent awe at the beauty before me.

  “Let me show you the rest of the place really quick.”

  I don’t want to leave this view. Zack laughs at me, pulling me along behind him. “You can see it when we’re done. And tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after….” I slide a glance towards him once I’m finally able to pull away from the ocean. I wonder how many ‘day afters’ he was going to say before his voice trails off but think better of it because the last thing I’m ready for right now is to hear the word ‘forever’ again.

  With as mesmerized as I am by this house and that view, I could actually say yes. I shake the crazy thought from my head as he pulls me into what he calls the ‘east wing’ of his house. He lives in a house with ‘wings.’

  He shows me the bedrooms where I learn he has eight of them. Eight! I never would have believed it if I didn’t see it for myself.

  After showing me the kitchen and giving me another look at the living room, he takes me to the other side of the house, the ‘west wing,’ where his fun rooms are located. My mouth drops when I see each room. The first is his media room. It looks like a real-life movie theater room with twelve leather, high back chairs; each separated by an armrest with built-in cup holder. Then I see his music studio where he tells me they practice writing and recording new music, sometimes. Most of it is done at his label’s office in downtown L.A., but on days when the whole band is here, they’ll occasionally lay a track or two. I imagine my favorite picture from the tour; the one with Zack and Chase, their heads bent together writing new music - and envision what they look like in this very room. And what songs were written here.

  Before I can ask him, though, Zack pulls me along to his last play room. Inside the room is a large pool table, and a full-size bar. The back wall is the same as in the living room; a full wall of full-length windows. In the center of the room is a curved, black leather couch that faces the largest television I have ever seen. Football players on this television will probably look life-sized.

  “This is my favorite room in the house.” He says to me as he drags me to the pool table. I laugh when I remember he still hasn’t paid up from when I beat him in Chicago. I decide to let it slide. At least for now.

  “I can see why.” It’s completely like Zack in here with its laid back furniture and darker colors than the rest of the house. It’s comfortable, and has a masculine presence. I can only imagine the nights spent in here with Chase, Jake and Garrett, screwing around, drinking some beer and playing pool. I smile just thinking about it. I miss those guys more than I thought I would.

  ***

  I stop in my tracks when Zack opens the door to his garage, or one of them, when we’re leaving for dinner a few hours later. In front of me is a 2-door black convertible, with the top down. It looks more like a futuristic vehicle I had only seen in movies, or something you would find in the Batcave. “Wow. Is that your car?”

  He grins smugly. “Yeah, I just bought it right before the tour started. It’s a Mercedes Roadster. Kind of fun, huh?”

  “It’s beautiful.” I am not a car person, but this car is too amazing to not be in awe at the sight of it. I climb into the passenger seat and sink into the softest grey leather I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

  Thirty minutes later we pull into what looks like, a dirty old hole in the wall bar. The bricks along the outside of the building are falling off the walls; neon lights flashing in the windows are missing letters. The word ‘PEN’ is completely dark while the sign ‘B-IANS –LACE’ flashes periodically. Where is he taking me?

  “Uh…is your car safe here?” I ask when he parks it on the street and hear the beeping of his door lock. “And are we safe?” I glance up and down the street completely unsure of my surroundings. It doesn’t look like a dangerous part of town, but the street is completely void of any traffic. On foot or otherwise.

  Zack laughs at me. “She’ll be just fine, and so are we. Brian makes my favorite burgers. And the pool is free, so I thought I could try to earn my money back tonight.”

  “Since you never paid up after the first time, I suppose that won’t be too hard.” I bump into his shoulder and take another glance down the street. “And at least this time you won’t have an audience when I embarrass you.”

  “Funny. Let’s go eat, pool shark. I’m starving. And there’s still someone I want you to meet.” I raise my eyebrows in a question, but he just lightly kisses my forehead and leads me through the doors.

  Brian’s Place, or at least I assume that is what the sign out front was trying to spell, looks as bad on the inside as it does on the outside. There are only about ten tables from what I can see. Black Formica table tops with black chairs and the red vinyl peeling off most of the seat cushions are spread throughout the majority of the bar. Near the back are two pool tables. The bar is empty except for the burly looking bartender who jumps over the bar as soon as we walk in.

  “Zack Walters!” He yells as the door shuts behind us. “How you doin’?” The man barrels towards us, crushing Zack into the largest man-hug I have ever witnessed. “Hey Brian.”

  When they pull back from their hug, Zack introduces us. “Brian, this is Nicole. Nicole, Brian.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I say politely.

  “You’re Nicole? Are you the same Nicole he’s been whining about for the last week on the phone?” He lightly punches Zack on the arm. Who is this guy?

  “Yeah, this is her.”

  Brian takes a step back, looking me up and down. “Now I know what all the fuss is about.” He winks at Zack, but throws his arm around my shoulder pulling me towards the bar. Zack’s expression is filled with amusement, although I don’t know if it’s because some guy is pulling me away or if it’s from the look of shock in my eyes.

  “It’s not often Zack here brings women to my place. He must trust you an awful lot, I know all his secrets. Come have a seat at the bar and I’ll feed you and tell you all the stories I know about this loser.”

  While Brian is pouring our drinks, I lean in to Zack and whisper. “How do you know this guy?”

  He chuckles. “That’s Brian. The friend I’ve told you about?”

  �
��That is Brian!?” When Zack told me all the stories about his childhood friend, this was not at all what I pictured him looking like. “But he’s so big….and frightening.”

  “Yeah, he can be rather intimidating I guess. But he’s harmless. And I wanted you to meet him.”

  “Wow…he’s not at all what I pictured.” I take a sip of my beer when Brian slides them across the bar. “Why is it so dead in here?”

  “I asked him to close the place down for the night.” He says this like it’s the most normal thing to do.

  “You did, what? Why?”

  Zack simply raises his shoulders nonchalantly. “I want to be alone with you. And I knew Brian would do it for me. Plus, I wanted you to meet him. You’ve introduced me to all your favorite people, I want you to know mine.”

  I think I melt into a pool of mush.

  “It’s crazy to me that you can just make a call and people do what you want them to.”

  “Brian’s like my brother and we’d do anything for each other. Consider this one of the perks of being a ‘rock god’ or whatever it is you and Mia call me.” He winks playfully. I want to throw my arms around him and never let him go. Sitting next to me on the barstool in the darkened bar that he had closed down just for me, he is irresistible.

  “Thank you. I love your surprises.”

  “This loser isn’t filling your head with any crap is he?” Brian interrupts us at the bar. Before too long, I’m listening to these guys laugh and share stories from their youth. I hear more about how awkward Zack was in high school. He blushes and refutes many of the stories Brian shares. But they’re all true. I can totally tell by his embarrassment and it makes me laugh. Brian tells me all about Zack’s first crush he had all through high school who wouldn’t give him the time of day, and how she called him after his first single was released practically begging for a date. I smile when I hear he turned her down.

  Hearing who he really is makes me love him even more. I want him in this moment, more than I ever have yet. Maybe because I’m here, with someone who knew him before he was famous, and all I see is Zack. Not the rock star, but just the man. There is no pretense of an image when he’s with Brian. I noticed it as soon as we walked in the door, as comfortable as he is out in public, something changed when we walked through the door to Brian’s Place tonight. He’s completely himself and vulnerable here and offering me just a small glimpse of what life would be like with him.