Just One Song

by Lynn, Stacey

  “Has Zack told you what will happen once we arrived?”

  “Yeah, he told me all about the red carpet and how his agent, Aaron Felt, and P.R. Rep will be in the limo with us. Zack will get out of the limo first and the rest of us will follow. We’ll walk the red carpet while he does a few interviews and meets fans and what not.”

  “Are you okay with this?” Her words are muffled since she’s chewing on a couple of bobby pins while she fixes the last few curls in my hair.

  “I’m trying to be. I’m more scared I’m going to get caught on camera looking like I’m about ready to throw up or something else equally stupid. OUCH!”

  “Well, stop fidgeting and I’ll stop stabbing you with the pins. And don’t worry, everything is going to be completely fine. The rest of us will be in the limo just behind you and I’ll catch up as soon as we can.” She sticks the final pin in my hair and turns me around to face the mirror. “And there – you’re done.” My hair falls loose curls down just past my shoulders, but the front and sides had been pulled up into an amazingly beautiful up-do.

  “All right,” she says. “Let’s get downstairs – I’m sure Zack is anxious to see you.”

  I take a deep breath and follow her out the door. By the time I hit the bottom of the stairs, Mia is already covered in Chase’s arms.

  He’s looking down at her, speaking softly in her ear and looking completely enamored with her. It almost makes me laugh, this enormous, rough looking man looking so tenderly at someone. It’s sweet too. I have a feeling things are becoming more serious than either of them have let on.

  I drift my eyes away from the two of them and see Garrett with Chloe. Off to the side, Sammy and Jake are sipping on a glass of champagne. Zack said that when he went to cancel with Sammy, Jake mentioned not having a date, so she’s his pseudo-date of the night.

  I thought it was cute and sweet of Jake to take her. But my eyes only rest on the couples for a fraction of a second before I feel Zack’s eyes on me.

  “Wow.” He takes a few steps toward me with his arms outstretched. I close the space and hold his hands, allowing him to gaze all over me. His eyes drift down my dress to the floor and back up again until they met my eyes. “You look – just – wow. Beautiful, Nic.”

  I return the smile. It’s not what he says to me that suddenly has me feeling warm all over, but how he says them. He conveys every emotion he has for me with the look of pure admiration and love in his eyes; his voice thickened with desire. I check him out the same way he did to me, moving my eyes ever so slowly down the length of his body. A blush heats my cheeks as I take him in and when I speak, I know I’m breathless with lust for him.

  “You clean up rather nice yourself. I don’t think I’ve seen you not wearing jeans and ball cap.”

  He pulls me closer and kisses me and I immediately forget what I was just thinking. “Are you nervous?”

  I nod slightly. “I’ll be okay, I promise. But yeah, slightly terrified.”

  “I can’t wait for everyone to see the woman I love.”

  I can only stare at him. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I can’t wait to see an awards show like this, live. I also just want it to end as soon as possible because I know as soon as cameras start flashing, I’m going to be a complete ball of nerves.

  I turn and hug Chloe, happy to finally see her again and introduce her to Mia.

  Zack claps his hands together loudly. “All right. Let’s go everyone, the limos are outside waiting.” He places his hand on my lower back and ushers me out to the waiting limousines

  The twenty minute car ride seems to take forever. Aaron and Tina, who were waiting for us in the car, are both very pleasant. Tina is dressed in a black suit and has an earpiece. She gives a matching one to Zack to wear so she can direct him where to go, and which TV reporters to meet with, while we walk along the carpet. She’s cordial, but all business.

  I’m not as nervous about the media since this is a huge event. I’m still hoping I can fly by unnoticed, although even in my head the thought sounds doubtful; not when I’m going to be on Zack’s arm.

  Zack keeps one hand on my knee, trying to calm me with just his presence. He looks confident. I know from watching him perform on stage that he was made to be a star. He always carries himself with an air of confidence and self-assuredness that I can only dream of having. And with him, it doesn’t come across as arrogant. It simply fits him. He doesn’t look nervous at all.

  “Just another day at the office for you, huh?” I wink and nudge him slightly with my shoulder. He turns to me with a look of pure love. It melts my heart instantly.

  “Something like that.”

  “Are you nervous at all for tonight?” I ask.

  Zack shrugs his shoulders. “Not really. I don’t mind presenting, and I’m sure I won’t win the awards, so I get to just sit back and enjoy the ride tonight.” I love his modesty. He is the best out there, everyone loves him, and he isn’t being self-deprecating when he doesn’t think he’d win, he just honestly believes the other musicians are better. It’s cute and endearing.

  “You’ll win.” I promise. “Did you at least prepare a speech just in case?”

  “How do you know I’ll win?”

  “Because you’re the best.” I kiss him quickly.

  I feel the car slow to a stop and when I look out Zack’s window, I see a thousand flashing lights. The lights are blinding and the noise of the crowd is deafening even from inside the car. It sounds as if a firework show’s finale is being launched at street level right outside our car, and I gulp with fear, imagining how loud it’s going to be once the door opens.

  Zack sees my body tense up and nuzzles his nose with my ear while whispering to me. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got you.”

  Before I can reply, security opens our door and Zack steps outside. Once exited, he leans back in and offers me his hand. I widen my eyes instantly and look at Tina, then back to him. I suddenly don’t want to get out. I feel the color drain my face as my heart starts beating so quickly I think it might explode. I’m not sure I can do this.

  Screw my own fear of the media; the scene I see outside would terrify me even on a good day.

  He leans in, just a little bit and smiles reassuringly. I put my hand in his, letting him pull me out of the car.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The red carpet is a blur of lights and reporters. Zack talks to Entertainment Tonight, TMZ, and several other shows I have never heard of. My hand clings to him so tightly, at some point I try to loosen up afraid of leaving a bruise. I relax once we pass the first large group of reporters. They must think I am one of his many random dates because no one even bothers to ask who I am. Thank goodness. Besides the occasional glance, we are so busy being ushered along the carpet we don’t even have a chance to really speak. I hope my smile shows excitement – versus the overwhelmingly terrified feeling I have inside. My eyes drift off to the crowd searching for Mia, Chase, or anyone else from Zack’s band, but the attempt is futile. I can barely see Tina behind us and I know the other limo is at least ten minutes behind.

  “And who is your beautiful date tonight, Zack?”

  The question snaps me back to the present. My eyes widen momentarily but I try to recover quickly when I look straight ahead. A camera is facing Zack - and me. The red light is on. The microphone in front of his mouth says ‘Inside Edition’ and is held by a beautiful redhead whose large smile is obviously the result of too many botox injections. I look to Zack trying to keep my smile genuine. He smiles down at me with one hand covering my grip on his arm.

  “This is Nicole, Marie – she’s very special to me.” Zack flashes me the same smile that usually makes me feel warm all over, keeping his hand over mine.

  Her eyes sparkle and her smile grows infinitesimally larger. She knows she has just caught a story to tell. I resist the urge to take a step back and hide behind Zack. Marie looks like a starving predator who just caught a whiff of a long needed me
al.

  “Please tell us, Zack. Has America’s favorite bachelor settled down?” Her voice drips in fake sweetness. I secretly begin to hate her.

  Zack, always confident and perfectly able to work a crowd, simply smiles and laughs lightheartedly. “I don’t know about America’s favorite bachelor, Marie. But I am taken, for as long as she’ll have me.”

  He flashes his megawatt smile that causes girls all over the world to drop their panties at his concerts and before I know it, he leans down and kisses my forehead, just barely brushing his lips across my skin. I can’t remove my eyes from him, and am certain the camera catches me blushing furiously. I can feel the heat on my chest and cheeks.

  “Have a great night, Marie.” Zack nods to the camera with a smug grin and pulls me along.

  “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He whispers to me once we’ve taken a few steps.

  “I’ll let you know when I can breathe again,” I drily reply. Fortunately, I look up and see the entryway of the amphitheater. I have survived my first red carpet walk.

  “I need a drink.”

  “Good. Maybe now you’ll release your death grip on my arm.”

  I remove my hand and swat him, but I don’t mean it. America’s favorite bachelor is all mine, and he has no idea how incredibly sexy he is. That alone is totally hot.

  Zack leads me inside just as Tina appears at my side out of nowhere. “You were great, Nicole!” She exclaims.

  I mutter my thanks, still too nervous to speak much and follow the two of them to the bar. The only thing I’m thankful for right now is wine, and that I didn’t fall outside.

  I finally take a breath once I take my first sip of wine. The smooth texture of Chardonnay instantly warms my throat and calms my nerves. The entryway overflows with musicians and their dates or spouses. Most of whom I couldn’t recognize if you paid me too, but I am able to catch a few I know like Mystical, Coldstone, and a few others. I soak it all in, thinking how much Mark would be in total seventh heaven right now.

  And for me, this time, it’s a happy memory as I picture how large his smile would have been. I feel no sadness, and no guilt.

  I am free. I am free to live again, and to love again.

  I smile to myself and take another sip of wine.

  Zack leans down and kisses me, just a little bit, regardless of the fact that we’re in the lobby or an amphitheater surrounded by hundreds of people. When he pulls away, I turn to the doors where I expect Mia to walk through. I try to look as nonchalant as possible as I watch music icons, actors and actresses filter by. The presence of money and beauty in such a small area is overwhelming. Everyone is dripping in designer gowns and diamonds and jewels larger than I have ever seen in my entire life. Not to mention botox and boob jobs. But critiquing the elite of the ‘rich and famous’ helps me maintain some semblance of confidence while I wait so I continue my silent critiquing of dress choices and fashion faux-pas.

  I am lost in my star-watching when Mia comes up and throws her arms around me, almost pulling me out of Zack’s arm that is firmly clenched on my waist.

  “Oh my gosh, Nic! What did you do out there!?”

  I shrink closer to Zack as I listen to her babble. “Seriously. Every person the guys talked to asked who you were, how long you’ve been together, it was crazy!”

  “You doing okay?” He gently places his lips on my forehead.

  “Perfect.” I’m not. Not really, but he helps.

  “Your girl is causing madness outside, you know.” Chase smiles broadly, clearly enjoying all this attention. I want to beat him. Instead, I scowl.

  “Is that so?” Zack raises an eyebrow. I shrug and sip my wine trying to appear more comfortable with all this than I feel. “I’m not surprised – look at her.”

  “And how do we feel about this?” I know what he is asking. The whole possibility of this exact situation was what caused our distance over the last several weeks. I have an inclination that the tense grip I feel on my waist is not because he loves me, but perhaps trying to keep me from bolting from the amphitheater as soon as I have an opportunity.

  I don’t entirely blame him.

  “I knew this was part of the deal – so we’ll survive just fine.”

  I look at him with love in my eyes, and I realize it’s totally true. I’ve been nervous all night about the paparazzi and the photos. But a lot of healing was done at the cemetery last week. As soon as I realized it wasn’t the fear of their story being told that had me running, but the fear of forgetting them, I was able to let everything else go. I’m not nearly as nervous as I thought I would be.

  And as I look at Zack, I know that I love him. I want to be with him. I remind myself of that, and about what Zack said at Thanksgiving. The only thing that matters is us. And in this moment, it’s one hundred percent true.

  ***

  Halfway through the show, Zack leaves his seat next to me and goes backstage to announce the nominations for Best New Artist of the Year. I have all sorts of nervous energy running through me at the thought of seeing him on stage. I know, having won this award before, that Zack is honored to present it this year. It shows his respect among the music industry and his growth as an artist. I proudly hold Mia’s hand. She sits on my right and grins as large as the Cheshire Cat.

  “Can you believe we’re here?” I squeak at her. We giggle like schoolgirls until the music signaling the end of a television commercial break starts and Zack walks across the stage.

  He is stunningly handsome. And I blush immediately, when right before he opens the envelope to announce the winner, he finds me and winks.

  His sexy smile doesn’t disappear while he’s on stage and just like at his concerts, he exudes full confidence, control, and definite sex appeal. He was born to be on a stage, regardless of the venue. He announces the winner, FunTimes, and the crowd goes wild with applause. Zack’s smile never falters as he congratulates the new band that I know he really does like, and escorts them off the stage.

  Once he clears the stage, a hand from behind grasps my shoulder. Hard. I freeze instantly. I glance over at Mia whose eyes are widened in shock and my eyes fall to the perfectly manicured fingernails clenching my shoulder.

  “Enjoy being his shiny new toy while you can. But Zack always comes back to me.”

  What the hell? Mia stares at me. My eyes widen and my eyebrows arch as if to silently ask her if she heard that. She nods in response. As the woman loosens her grip, I slowly turn around to see the owner of the evil voice. I close my mouth quickly.

  Sitting directly behind me is Rachel McAllister. She’s gorgeous, but her eyes and wicked smile tell me a different story completely. She hates me – and it’s completely obvious in her body language and expression. I feel color begin to drain from my face as I stare at her, remembering the picture of Zack and I leaving the bar in Boston and the caption about her on again off again romance with Zack.

  I turn around and clench the arm rests of my chair to calm myself down. I am still sitting like this, my knuckles white, when Zack finally returns to his seat.

  “You okay?” His eyes are filled with concern. Normally I want to take that look away and replace it, but right now, I’m too upset.

  I shake my head once. There is no point in even trying to hide the anger and humiliation that is rolling off me.

  He leans in to my ear. “What happened?”

  My hands still shaking, I grab a pen from my clutch and scribble on the program in my lap. Rachel happened.

  He curses to himself and scribbles back. What did she say?

  I shake my head.

  As the music begins, signaling another commercial interruption, Zack leans into me and kisses my cheek., “I love you. Only you.”

  His arm slides around the back of my chair squeezing me tightly. I turn slightly in my chair, lean towards him, and kiss him. Given the audience and location it probably borders on inappropriate displays of affection, but my hand goes to the back of his neck to pull him closer and
he does nothing to stop it. I pull away quickly, but the effect is perfect. His eyes hold lust and desire for only me. Our breathing has accelerated, and I know that one act, silently speaks volumes to him. I love him, too.

  I have a feeling if looks could kill, I would be dead by now with the silent arrows I can feel being shot at the back of my head.

  I don’t care anymore. Rachel can take her evil claws and use them on someone else.

  When he wins the award for Best Album of the Year, the one he was sure he’d lose, I don’t remove my smile from him for a second. And when he looks directly at me and thanks me from the stage, I don’t care that he mentions my name, and I definitely don’t care about the woman fuming behind me.

  ***

  “What did she say to you?” Zack asks me once we’re sipping champagne in the limo on the way to the after party.

  “I believe her words were something similar to ‘enjoy being his shiny new toy while you can, but Zack always comes back to me.’” I don’t take my eyes off of him. I want him to know how little her words can hurt me.

  He cups my chin in his hands, lightly brushing my cheeks with his thumbs. I love it when he does this.

  A flash of love flickers through his eyes before they change to something else; something dark. He is pissed. Jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed, and his breaths are deep and slow. “Rachel and I saw each other off and on for almost two years. It was nothing more than a physical connection for me. And she’s right – I went back to her, but only because the only other girls I was with were the ones I told you about. Rising actresses or singers who I could take to a show and be seen in public with. I never led her on, and we never actually dated.”

  He has a sheepish look on his face when he is done almost as if he didn’t want me to know he’s had sex just for fun. “I haven’t been with her since before the tour started and you know this.”

  I let him say what he needs to say so we can just get over this and move on. I don’t need to hear about her. She’s not a threat, and despite how secure I finally am in us, I really don’t want to hear about all the women he had before me.