Returned to the Light

by C. M. Radcliff

  Griffin lets out a deep breath, sighing heavily into the phone, but it’s one that sounds relieved. “She’s fine and safe now,” he says quietly. “We got to her just in time.”

  “Who is she to you?” I blurt out, unable to stop the words from coming out. She’s remained such a mystery, one he never even spoke of until recently.

  He’s silent for a moment. “She’s everything,” his voice cracks as he struggles to stay quiet. “Do you remember the girl who helped us get you out of there?”

  Thinking back to that time is always hard for me and always brings back terrible, terrible feelings and thoughts. But not of her; I know exactly who he’s talking about. She was one of the good parts of that god-awful place.

  “The ghost girl,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.

  “I’m sorry I’ve kept you in the dark,” he says solemnly. “There’s so much to tell you, about it all, about her, but now isn’t the time for that.”

  The dots start to connect. “That’s why you were so protective of her, and why she was of me.” It all starts to make sense.

  “I promise, I’ll tell you everything,” he promises, “after we get back.”

  “Wait, you’re leaving?” My voice comes out panicked and in a rush.

  “Yes,” he says, sadly, “we’ll get to that. But first, I have some other things to tell you.”

  Jesus Christ, there’s more?

  “So,” he starts, “Ryder can give you the full story, because he needs to, but he’s being a pussy right now. Jess and him, they were never a thing. When you showed up that night, she came to try and be with him, and he told her to fuck off and that he was with you. Then when you got there, she made it look bad, and it worked; you left.”

  I’m completely lost by everything that he’s said. This whole conversation is almost too much for me to handle right now.

  “Oh God.” I run my hands through my hair and take another large drink of wine. “I ruined it all, didn’t I?” This time, I had no one to blame but myself.

  “I mean, shit got fucked up,” he half laughs. “Trust me, you come back here and see him, and none of that will even matter. You have no idea how he is right now, Lydia. He doesn’t leave his house for anything. He doesn’t talk to anyone at all. And he didn’t even resort to drinking this time. I mean, shit, this is Ryder we’re talking about.”

  “What the hell did I do, Griff? Goddammit.”

  “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is what you do moving forward. And that involves you packing up your shit and moving back home where you and Trent belong. No more bullshit; it’s time to come home,” he says, his voice stern.

  I nod to him, to me, to the universe. Who the fuck knows.

  “Okay,” I nod again, to no one in particular. “We’re coming home.”

  There, I finally said it out loud. It’s decided. It’s been decided.

  “Good,” he concurs. “Don’t worry about your stuff; I will take care of all of that. Just pack essentials for a few days. I’ll look for flights for tomorrow and send you the information, and I’ll send a car to get you, so don’t worry about yours either.”

  “Wait, wait,” I say in a panic. This is fast. “What about Cara’s parents? We can’t just leave the house like that. And you’re going to move all my stuff and car? And we’re coming tomorrow?”

  I hear him sigh. “Lydia, just stop. Everything is taken care of and everything will be okay. I promise.”

  My mind struggles to process everything, but that doesn’t matter anymore. It’s happening, and for once, I’m going to just go with it and let the pieces lay wherever they fall.

  “Wait,” I say as another thought hits me, “but aren’t you leaving?”

  “Yes,” he confirms slowly. “We’ll be back, but I need to get Rowena away from here. It’s too much to explain right now, but I will when we get back, okay? Just trust me. My house is yours now, and you don’t need to worry about anything, okay?”

  “No,” I refuse, urgently, “just no.”

  “Lydia, we’ll talk more tomorrow after you’ve had time to process all of this. It has to happen, so just let it, okay? If you’re 100% against it, I will support that too. I don’t agree, but I don’t have to.”

  A few moments pass as I soak that in. “Okay,” I acquiesce, “tomorrow.”

  “Yes. I’ll email you shortly and will call you in the morning.”

  “Okay,” I nod again to myself.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Lydia,” he says, bringing our phone call to an end.

  “Okay,” I sound like a broken record.

  “Oh, and Lydia?” he pauses. “You have mail here. I think it’s the results from the paternity test.”

  My heart drops to my feet and my brain turns to mush. It takes me by surprise more than I ever thought it would.

  The truth is finally there, trapped inside an envelope.

  “Find me the earliest flight tomorrow,” I tell him, my voice is full of determination. Nothing is stopping me now. We’re coming home, I’m getting that envelope, and I’m getting him back.

  “You got it,” Griffin says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. He ends the call, leaving me alone in the dark with my thoughts for the night.

  chapter thirty-three

  RYDER

  I’VE LEARNED IN THE PAST few years that some things are best left unsaid. After Griffin came by and gave me a swift kick in the ass, I finally pulled myself together and got back to life. My life was nothing short of boring and was almost total isolation, but I was okay with that. I never got a call back from Lydia after I tried calling to tell her the truth about that night. She hadn’t come back either, so all I could do was assume that she was happy to be back in Georgia. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t hurt. Everyday, I thought about her and about Trent, and it all but tore me apart inside. But what could I do about it now? She had her time, and it seems she had made up her mind. All I can do is hope that she’s happy.

  I finish transferring a load of clothes from the washer to the dryer when I hear my doorbell. Slowly walking out of the laundry room, I pull my phone out of my pocket and check to see if I had any missed calls or text messages. No one is ever invited over so I wasn’t expecting anyone to stop by here.

  It’s probably Griffin here to rip me a new one about God knows what this time. Determined to put him in his place, I pick up the pace, marching over to the front door, and tear it open.

  My jaw hits the floor when I see her standing directly in front of me.

  “Hi,” she says timidly. “I’m sorry we showed up unannounced; I should have called.”

  Lydia.

  I drink her in, taken away by her beauty. There’s a renewed brightness in her eyes that makes her face glow. She’s put weight on in all the right places; still looking perfect, only healthier. I’m in total awe, completely struck speechless of how radiant she’s become in the short amount of time she’s been away. My eyes trail down her tanned arm to the small hand clutching hers. I find his face, and his bright blue eyes shine at me with his smile meeting his eyes.

  These two people standing right in front of me, they are my purpose. I don’t just want her happy; I want her happy with me. I’ve been a fucking fool for thinking otherwise.

  She clears her throat and I look back up at her, feeling an unknown heat creep up my neck and into my cheeks. I forgot that I never even said a word to her.

  “You’re welcome here anytime,” the cheesy phrase comes out unnatural. “Come in,” I say opening the door wide and stepping back, letting them enter my space.

  They walk inside and Lydia crouches down, saying something quietly to Trent while I shut the door. I hear the tapping of his tiny feet as he runs into the living room as I turn around. Lydia slowly stands back up, and within a blink of an eye, her chest is against me and she presses her lips to mine. She catches me off guard as she wraps her arms around my neck, pressing closer against me. Blood rushes to my dick and my body reacts without hesita
tion. I grip her hips, moving one hand to the small of her back, and move my lips with hers. I coax them open with my tongue, and she lets me in, kissing her deeper. I stroke her tongue with mine as our mouths fuse together. She lets out a soft moan, and I almost come from the sounds she makes. I walk her backwards until she’s up against the wall, never once breaking apart from one another. She runs her hands through my hair on the back of my head and grips it hard. I growl into her mouth, grinding my throbbing dick against her.

  “Mom!” Trent’s small voice calls from the other room, bringing us back to reality. Lydia quickly breaks away from me, and I step back, giving her space. Her face is flushed and she presses her fingers to her lips, looking up at me for a second.

  “I’ll be right there!” she calls to him and then quietly squeezes out of the space between the wall and I. Her chest heaves up and down, the rhythm matching mine. What the fuck just happened? My mind swims, trying to process what just happened.

  I stare at her in silence, shocked and confused as fuck. And she’s got me so worked up right now, I feel like my balls are going to explode.

  “I need to go check on him,” she says quietly and slips out of the foyer. I roughly run my hands through my hair and remain in the same place she left me.

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  I hear them in the living room and decide to follow the sound of their voices in there. Lydia and Trent are both sitting on the floor talking when I enter. I stand in the doorway, unsure what to do next. She has me all fucked up right now. She looks up at me with a small smile. “Do you have anything to drink? I forgot his water in the car and it’s probably boiling hot out there.”

  “Yes, of course!” I exclaim, sounding like a damn girl. I clear my throat. “I mean, yeah, I do. Bottle or cup?” I ask, running my hand through my hair.

  Her smile grows a little wider at my sudden embarrassment. “A bottle would be great if you have one.”

  I give her a curt nod and wander into the kitchen. I open the fridge and pull out a bottle. When I shut the door, I spin around and almost run over Lydia, she’s standing so close behind me. She takes a step back, smiling apologetically. I never realized how much I missed her smiles.

  “I’m so sorry,” she starts “I didn’t mean to follow you so closely like that. I just wanted to talk real quick, not in front of Trent.”

  I nod. “We have a lot to talk about,” I say quietly.

  “Yes, we do.” She pauses, chewing on the inside of her cheek for a moment. “Do you have time to talk? I could have my mom come get Trent, that way we have no distractions or anything.”

  I consider her offer for a second, as if it’s something I really even need to think about. I would do anything this girl would ask of me, no matter the circumstances. “That would be perfect.” I give her a small smile. “I have nothing but time for you, Lydia.”

  “Thank you,” she says earnestly and grabs her purse from the counter. She reaches in for her phone and an envelope falls out as she pulls her hand back out. I bend down to grab it before she gets the chance. She doesn’t move and her eyes grow wide as the color drains from her face. Confused, I look down at the envelope as I had it towards her. I read the name as she reaches for it and my grip tightens on it, not letting go as she tries to take it. Recognition sets in as I reread the sender’s name. My eyes flicker up to hers, filled with shock, and the look on my face mirrors hers.

  “What is this?” I ask her, but I already know.

  Her wide eyes stare back into mine, full of emotion. “It’s the results,” she says, her voice but a whisper, “from the paternity test.”

  My gaze falls back onto the envelope, and she releases the side she was holding on to. I hold it in both hands, staring at it, knowing what’s inside. And suddenly, I’m terrified of what exactly is inside of there. I told her it didn’t matter. I told myself it didn’t matter. He was mine, blood or not. But now, if I know the truth and he isn’t my blood, will that change things?

  I can’t let it.

  “Ryder,” Lydia says quietly, breaking into my thoughts. “I thought we should open it together.”

  I nod, unable to tear my eyes away from the envelope and look at her. “Please, go call your mom.” My voice wobbles for a beat, sounding unfamiliar and miles away.

  “Okay,” she whispers.

  When I finally look up, she’s gone, having quickly disappeared from the kitchen, forgetting to take the bottle of water with her. The only things left in this room are me and the irrefutable truth about Trent etched on a piece of paper.

  Suddenly, Lydia pops her head back in the room. “My mom’s on her way.”

  “Okay,” I simply agree.

  I glance out into the living room, watching Trent watch us. My eyes meet his, and I’m rewarded with a smile that consumes the entirety of his little face. Looking at him, I realize that what’s inside that envelope doesn’t mean shit to me. It changes nothing.

  Instinctively, I reach out and grab Lydia’s hand and toss the envelope onto the counter. She gives me a surprised look and her eyes are full of questions. “Come on,” I say, pulling her close to me, and I lead her into the living room to wait with Trent, leaving our questions and answers behind.

  chapter thirty-four

  LYDIA

  WE WATCH MY MOM AND TRENT drive away before going back inside the house. He grabs my hand and leads me into the kitchen, and we both take a seat at the breakfast bar.

  “When did you send the test out?” he asks quietly.

  “Before I left,” I pause. “Before the whole mess with that Jess girl.”

  He opens his mouth to speak, but I silence him, pressing a finger to his lips. “Griffin told me that it wasn’t what it looked like. That she made it seem like it was something it wasn’t. I don’t need the details. I was quick to react and didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself. Everything was going so well with us, it seemed too good to be true, and I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when that happened, it gave me a reason to run. Why would I trust you after that? Too much has happened and my brain was messed up. I’m so sorry for the time we’ve lost.”

  He takes both of my hands in his, kissing each one before resting them in his lap. “Lydia, none of that matters anymore. All the time lost, it means nothing, and all we can do is make up for it. What’s important is that you’re here with me now.” His voice cracks with emotion, and his eyes become glossy along with mine. I can tell that he means every last word that he says, and my heart swells. After all this time, after me running from him, he still wants me here. His hand reaches up to brush a tear from my cheek that I hadn’t realized had fallen.

  “Baby,” he says, standing up and pulling me into his arms, “please, don’t cry.”

  I shake my head against his chest, unable to stop the tears that continue to fall. He holds me silently, rubbing my back and kissing the top of my head. Minutes or hours pass, I can’t tell, before I finally get it together. My crying finally ceases, and I wipe the last of my tears from my face as I push away from him. His eyes search mine, filled with worry and uncertainty.

  “I know this is a lot, but please don’t be sad,” he pleads. “We don’t have to open the envelope.”

  I start to laugh, looking like I’m losing my mind, and he stares at me like I have two heads. What a stupid, stupid man. I grab his face in my hands, my laughter subsides, and I stare deeply into his eyes, hoping to ease his worry through my touch.

  “I’m not sad,” I say stroking his cheek. “Quite the opposite, you could say. This is all just so unbelievable, and I’m happy, Ryder. I. Am. Happy.” I reiterate. “And I want to see what is inside the envelope, but only when you’re ready.”

  He pulls me back against him, wrapping his arms around me, and breathes in my neck. “I’ve fucking missed you,” he mutters against my skin.

  “I’ve missed you,” I reassure him. “But I’m back for good this time.”

  He leans back enough to see my fa
ce, and his eyes search mine. “You’re back,” he says slowly. “for good?”

  I nod, and he presses his forehead against mine. “I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him. “I don’t have everything figured out yet, but we’re moving into Griffin’s until I sort everything out.”

  “No,” he immediately says. “Stay with me. Move in with me.”

  He looks down at me with his clear blue eyes, waiting for me to speak. He’s hopeful and happy; it’s written all over his face. He wants Trent and I to move in with him when we just started talking again?

  “Lydia,” he commands, “say something.”

  “You really would want us to move in with you? Things haven’t been the best between us,” I remind him.

  He grabs my face with his large hands, tilting it up so I can see him. His eyes shine as he gives me a small smile. “Wanting you and Trent to move in with me was never a question. Things haven’t been the best between us because we never truly gave it a shot. We’ve had amazing moments, though, and I know that things can be amazing between us. This is what I want. I want you. And Trent. I want us. There’s no turning back for me. You’re all I see and all I will ever see.”

  His words hit me straight in my heart, wrapping themselves around it and clenching down tightly. They steal every breath from my lungs and every beat from the heart in my chest. Love fucking hurts in the most beautiful way possible.

  “Shouldn’t we date or something?” I ask out of nowhere, still utterly dumbfounded. He starts to chuckle, his eyes lighting up. I instantly regret opening my mouth. I should have known something stupid like that would come out. We’ve already dated and then some. What the hell is my problem here?

  “Oh, Lydia. I think it’s safe to say we’re way past dating, wouldn’t you?” He cocks his head to the side with a smirk on his face, questioning me. My stomach flutters and I start to feel flushed—a feeling that I’ve only ever felt from him. I nod slowly, taking everything into consideration and realizing he’s right.