Forgetting Jane

by C. J. Warrant

  “Elias.” She cradled her face in her hands and cried. “I don’t know—” Jane stood, wiping the tears from her face, trying to stay strong. For him.

  “Don’t. I don’t need your pity tears. You can’t choose your family. I learned that a long time ago.” He wiped away any trace of wetness from his face.

  “Where is he now?” she asked.

  “I don’t know and don’t care.” He lost his voice like strangling fingers around his throat.

  Jane couldn’t resist anymore and went to him. “Look at me,” she said.

  He stood fixed. Eli wouldn’t look at her.

  She turned him so they were face to face. Don’t get close. Her thoughts were a contradiction to what her heart wanted.

  A tear escaped his eye and it ran down his cheek. Seeing him uninhibited, she lost all willpower to restrain herself. She wiped away the evidence of his sadness.

  Without a word, she wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him tight. Her head lay against his chest and she listened to his heart race.

  ***

  Eli kept his arms down at his side. What was he supposed to do, hug her? She was consoling him. He didn’t expect the kindness when he treated her like crap. His knees nearly buckled under him.

  He put his arms around her and held her tight. Her arms cradled him with loving care. The heat from her body warmed him with…need. Admitting his hidden feelings for her gave Eli some sense of release.

  The freshness of her scent filled his senses and calmed his angst. Eli kissed the top of her head. For a moment, she made him forget all the hurt in his life.

  What he wanted to do was kiss her. He needed her. To forget himself and the past that haunted him almost every night.

  She turned her face toward his and whispered, “Sorry.” Her voice was heartfelt and genuine. He couldn’t resist and leaned in and kissed her cheek. Satin soft against his lip—just as he imagined it. Warmth sizzled down his spine. He ached for more.

  Jane hugged tighter. She tilted her head back slightly and kissed his collar bone.

  A surge of longing pushed past his morality. Eli kissed with all the need his heart craved. Soft, smooth and gentle, like rose petals at first—simple and tender. He pulled back but she tightened her arms. She lifted her head and kissed him back, more assertive, which he liked.

  Eli pulled back a bit and looked down at her face, staring at her reddened full lips—slightly parted, wanting him back.

  This wasn’t right. He was there to defend—made an oath to protect—not to taste her sweet mouth or have sex.

  “Elias, please.” Her plea was his undoing.

  He came down hard. His tongue delved deep into the heat of her mouth. Her moan encouraged him as his hands touched, coveting her body. The heat rose fast, from spark to flame.

  The fire raged hot as his kiss left her lips and trailed down her neck, then back to the hunger of her mouth. As his tongue played with hers, Eli attempted to pull off her flannel shirt. Jane helped and yanked it open. Buttons flew.

  “Beautiful,” he said as he appreciated every creamy curve of her body. From her well-defined breasts to her slender hips, his need to be inside her grew impatient, almost incessant from the moment she stepped into his home.

  He gently framed his hands around her silken mounds. His thumbs grazed against her hardened nipples. She took in a sharp inhale. “Don’t stop,” she moaned, tilting her head, eyes on him.

  Without hesitation, Eli dipped his head down to taste her taunting buds. She pulled at his hair, encouraging him while he licked and suckled, savoring her breasts. He pulled away, but only to get rid of her shirt. But Jane surprised him.

  She pulled him to the bed, trailing her hands down his body. First his shoulders, down his arms and then along his chest as though Jane was tracing his body for memory. His skin felt electrified by her touch.

  Jane traced along the ridges of his abs, stopping at the edge of his shorts. A tease.

  Eli hardened even more as the tips of her fingers dipped below his elastic waistband, a hair away from touching his dick.

  She kissed his chest, then using her tongue, circling his nipple in a slow lazy lap, then the other. She grazed her teeth against them. Eli trembled—almost losing his control.

  The heavy ache turned into a desperate need. Eli couldn’t ignore his desires, or hers, any longer.

  His hands worked on her pants quickly. He pulled the sweatpants down and grabbed her around her waist. The only barrier between them was his shorts and her underwear.

  Without pause, Jane pulled his shorts down to his ankles. A twinkle in her eye made her look like a sex nymph. And just like that, she ran her palm against the ridge of his cock. Eli swallowed hard as she touched him in a slow stroke. He couldn’t endure the torture any longer. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

  He seared her with a kiss that meant more pleasures were to come.

  Her thin panties were the only obstacle between them now. His hands palmed her ass and ground her against his hard shaft. He wanted to be sure she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

  Eye level, Jane leaned in and kissed him with such ardent need, Eli had no doubt and turned her back to the bed. Right before he laid her down, he stopped. His conscience slapped him across his face.

  He tore his lips from hers and took in a deep hard breath. His forehead met hers. “I’m sorry. We can’t do this.”

  “What?” Jane’s voice came out like a ragged whisper.

  “We can’t do this. This isn’t right.” He slid her down to the bed and took a step back to pull up his shorts. “I can’t take advantage of you, Jane. No matter how bad I want you. Not like this. Not this way.” He walked out of the room. “I’m sorry.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Eli had to gather his composure before he faced Jane again. He knew he’d cave into his desires if he looked at her. Her vulnerability and compassion were his weakness.

  He could taste her on his tongue. Eli tried to swallow her down but it was hard to erase the sweetness from his mouth. His skin tingled under her touch. Every nerve ending charged.

  Eli yearned for her touch. His cock was rock hard. He got into the tub and turned on the ice-cold water. Leaning over into the icy stream, he hoped the heat coursing through his body would ease, but it didn’t. His skin felt tight to his bones. The image of her naked on his bed intensified his ache.

  As the water draped over him, his right hand gripped his cock and stroked the need away. He remembered how Jane’s legs wrapped perfectly around his hips. Eli’s fingers tightened around his shaft and he let his fantasy unfold.

  Faster he jacked, higher he flew then fell over the edge. Still felt desperate for her touch, releasing himself did nothing. He wanted Jane desperately—she was the only cure for what he had.

  With the final twist and yank of his tip, he slowly descended back down to reality. He leaned against the shower wall for support while his essence slipped down the drain. Eli stood there for a moment before he got out of the shower.

  Draped with only a towel—his second shower of the day, he looked into the mirror with shame. If he didn’t control his needs, it wouldn’t be his last.

  A deep need to be with her unsettled him. How could this happen? He barely stood being in the same room with her. She annoyed the hell out of him. Especially when she called him ass to his face. He admired her for her survival, but he didn’t have to like her—shit! He liked all right. He liked her very much. So much so that he could fall in love with her—No! Eli would not let that happen.

  Instead, he ignored the burn in his groin and stomach and got dressed.

  After Eli loosened his gray t-shirt that clung to his wet body, he made his way down the hall. He peeked into his room and noticed she wasn’t in there. He headed downstairs where he saw Magda heading into the basement.

  “What are you doing?” he asked. He pushed back his bangs.

  “Going downstairs. There’s a lot of your
mother’s clothing still down below. Jane could easily fit into them—You should get a haircut.” Magda reached up to touch his hair but Eli evaded her hand.

  “Uh, no.” He gave her a big grin. “Um, where is she?” His throat tightened up when he spoke. The idea of Jane wearing his mother’s clothes sparked fire in him. Though, what was the use of getting mad? At least they were going to use.

  “In the kitchen.” Magda tilted her head and stared up at him. “You aren’t giving her a hard time are you?”

  “No ma’am.” Almost. He wished.

  “Okay, then please go talk to her.” She took the creaky steps slowly down. “She needs rest.”

  After watching Magda make her way downstairs, Eli walked into the kitchen and found Jane sitting at the table. She was dressed in a purple terry robe—his mother’s favorite robe. She’d worn it all the time.

  He remembered when his mother used to sit at the table right beside him, enjoying breakfast together, waiting for the school bus to come. Eli’s chest hurt from the flash of memory. Those were the moments he cherished. Unmarred by James McAvoy’s brutal hand.

  He took a deep breath, cleared his mind of his past and stepped up to the table.

  The second Eli saw the file he brought home, he knew there was going to be a shit storm of questions. All the pictures were face up and spread across the flat surface.

  He gathered the photos into a pile and reached for the two from Jane’s hands. “You aren’t supposed to look at these.”

  Jane pulled away. “What are these?” Her voice shook.

  “Possible links to your case, but I don’t want you to worry about it.”

  “They’re staring up at me, calling for help.” Tears welled up in her eyes. Jane wiped them away with her sleeve. “Who are they?”

  He wished he could wrap his arms around her and take her away from all the pain. Instead, he gathered all the photos in a neat pile and placed them in the folder.

  “I’m not sure yet, but don’t look at them, Jane.” Eli put the file folder at the far end of counter. “Give me the rest.”

  She ignored him. “How are these women connected to my case?”

  He cleared his throat before he answered. “I’m not sure, yet.”

  Jane’s brows furrowed tight but her eyes filled with sorrow. “You’re holding something back. Tell me, Elias.”

  He had to look away. His strength waned. “Jane, you need your rest. Magda told you to go lay down, I suggest you listen.”

  She shook her head, ignoring his orders. “What about these numbers, are they dates? They go back twenty years.”

  “This has nothing to do with you,” he lied. The stress and worry shadowed under her eyes. He didn’t want to add to it.

  Jane bored into him. “I want to know,” she said, the intensity of her voice giving no quarter.

  Eli sat down across from her. “Actually, the dates go back even further. Almost forty years.”

  Jane dropped the pictures like white-hot pokers. “Forty? So, you’re thinking that I’m not the first victim.” The last sentence came out in a whisper. “Jane could be.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re Jane.”

  “No, the girl I see. Her name is Jane too.”

  Eli remained quiet. He still questioned if Jane was delusional.

  “Do you know what this means?” Jane said, slightly perked up.

  “What?”

  “I’m not going crazy.” But Eli wasn’t too sure about that.

  “I will have the name of these victim by tomorrow. In the meantime, you need rest.”

  The sadness etched in the corner of her eyes. “How can I rest when there’s answers in these photos that might lead to who tried to kill me? And he’s still out there.” Tears slipped down. She looked at him as though he was guilty of something. At that point, he’d do anything to make her smile.

  He came around, took her hand and pulled her to him. “Jane, nothing is going to happen to you. You’re safe here, as long as you stay hidden, he said, wrapping his arms around her.

  She pulled away. “All this time, this bastard has been mutilating and killing all these women and no one has caught him yet? How can I feel safe knowing that?”

  “Jane, you need to rest. I really don’t want you—”

  “Stop! I had enough rest. I know these women. I dream about them every time I close my eyes. They call to me for help,” Jane cried out. “I can’t sleep without seeing them trying to pull me into the ground. I can taste the dirt and wet mold. I can feel their pain.” Her voice seized up. Tears flooded down, she cried harder. “I…need to know…who I am.” She folded her body up in the chair and covered her face with her hands.

  Jane made no sense, but lately, nothing did.

  Eli slipped down on his knees. “Look at me, Jane.”

  She tilted her head to one side. A shower of wetness coated her red cheeks.

  “You’re safe—I promise. Okay?” He leaned in and tried to give her a hug but she pushed him back.

  “Okay? No, it’s not okay. Far from okay. I want to know—why me? What makes me so special that I lived and these women didn’t?” Pain echoed off the words she conveyed.

  “Jane.”

  “That’s not my name! Why can’t I remember my real name?” She pounded the table with her fists while a deluge of tears and sobs choked out.

  Eli couldn’t watch her fall apart. Her breakdown tore his heart to shreds seeing her in such anguish. He needed her to be strong. He stood up, lifted her out of the chair and carried her upstairs.

  Jane didn’t protest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and soaked his shirt with her tears.

  His wall of sensibility crumbled the moment he heard her cry. From the moment Jane was found, his life changed. She challenged him in a way that no woman ever had before. He never met someone like her, who used her strength to push past her fears and keep going.

  Jane was the reason why he didn’t leave Beaver Ridge like he’d planned. The obligations of his job, to Magda and the damned farmhouse weren’t enough to make him stay. But Jane, she gave him purpose and the will to fight for her. The reason to want to.

  With each step he took, his heart pounded faster. The rush of blood through his veins charged his adrenaline. The second he reached his bedroom, there was no going back. He closed the door with his foot and leaned back against it.

  Eli kissed her wet cheek. “It will be all right. I’m here,” he said, touching her forehead to his.

  She tilted up her face and kissed his lips with such gentleness. “Love me,” she said and kissed him again. “Make me forget.”

  Those words nearly knocked the air out of his lungs. The way she pleaded with him, pushed him over that line. He captured her mouth with hungry urgency.

  His tongue and lips danced in a tight tango with hers. The need to have her grew stronger with every second her hands stroked his neck. Jane’s fingers combed, pulled and held his hair tight. He had intended to take their dance slow, but not anymore.

  Cradling her in his arms, he carried Jane to the bed and laid her down gently. The purple robe loosened and untied, spread open exposing her flesh. She wore nothing under that robe.

  Eli took in a sharp breath. His eyes traveled from Jane’s face down to the dark curls nestled between her legs, memorizing every curve of her body.

  The urgency for skin to skin rushed through him. Eli ripped his clothes off and slid himself between her thighs, up her body—chest to chest. He braced his weight so not to crush her, but connect every inch of her flesh to his.

  His rigid shaft pressed against her pelvis, grinding, taunting. Her tight buds rubbed against his chest, teasing back. Eli had to touch them, taste every bit of her skin.

  In a slow, lazy drag of his tongue, Eli savored his way down to her chin, neck and her breasts. He gave them equal measure of attention by tasting, teasing and nipping at her perked nipples.

  He wanted this ecstasy to last forever.

  Jane tr
embled under his gentle assault. Her moans became louder as his fingers massaged her creamy flesh, then trailed down to the triangle of hair.

  She was wet and hot. His fingers tested and teased, dipping deep, deeper. Jane’s hips rocked against his hand. As Eli’s fingers explored, his thumb played havoc with her clit. She bucked faster.

  With her sweet essence coating his fingers, he sped up his thrusts. Releasing her breasts, Eli kissed his way down to her core. Spreading her thighs apart, he feasted.

  First touch was a tease, a kiss. The tip of his tongue traced along the ridge of her. Jane whimpered out his name, which spurred him to move faster, go deeper.

  He ravaged her with his mouth. He stabbed her deep with his tongue repeatedly. He licked and sucked every bit of what she had to offer. His voracious hunger kept up with the need to satisfy her. He pushed her legs farther apart. He then lifted her up to him. She slid out of the robe, exposing her body to him fully.

  Eli stopped, looked at Jane and saw her parted lips swollen, and how her delectable nipples were red and tight from his love play. He smiled and nipped the inner part of her thigh. He’d never felt the need to indulge, but it was easy to get lost in Jane. She made him forget his past, everything.

  ***

  Jane thought she had died and gone to heaven. The ravenous way his mouth touched her body made her crave more. She didn’t want him to stop.

  He took her on a fast ride up, then slowed down. And then did it all again, not quite reaching her high. She had never felt the glorious torture Eli put her through.

  The pressure built and his wicked mouth made her careen over the edge. She called out his name as wave after wave of euphoria took over. She swore she was set ablaze. She bucked up faster to match his delving fingers and mouth.

  Eli withdrew from her, leaving her temporarily empty. He sat up and pulled her with him. He kissed her with fevered frenzy. Jane encouraged him to hurry, which didn’t take much. He groaned as she reached down for his cock.

  “I want you,” Jane begged, stroking him to his balls.

  He let out a growl before he reached over and grabbed a condom from his nightstand. The moment he rolled the rubber back to the hilt, he turned back, grabbed her close and slid his shaft into her slow.