Behind the Beginning (Becoming the Wolf Book 1)

by T. S. Joyce

  “You don’t have to worry about Lana.” He hesitated. “You, on the other hand, if Alexis engages you—”

  She snorted. “I can handle Angry Barbie Werewolf.”

  The corner of his mouth turned up in a crooked smile. “I know you can. You ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be,” she murmured, opening the car door. She pulled out Alexis’s stupid dead-bunny gift and hugged it to her chest as Grey pulled Lana from the car seat. He cast the present a questioning glance, but didn’t ask. He led her up the porch stairs and knocked on the door softly. The wolves would hear it. Grey had a downright disturbing auditory range. He stood straighter beside her and cuddled Lana, still sleeping, even closer against his shoulder. The sight of her in his arms brought a clenching, warm sensation to Morgan’s stomach. Though Lana wasn’t hers biologically, she and the little girl were a package deal, and Grey had accepted that immediately. To take on an instant family took a special breed of man and his devotion to Lana was one of his most attractive qualities. He was so damn hot in every way.

  His eyes blazed as the door lock clicked. She hadn’t seen blue in them in over an hour. Wolf was ready.

  Dean answered the door with a pretty woman clad in a casual navy dress right behind him. Morgan waved shyly as Grey introduced them, and tried not to laugh at the open-mouthed stares they gave to him and Lana. Maybe he hadn’t told them about her.

  Grey grabbed Morgan’s hand and pulled her inside behind him. She struggled to hold onto the present in her free hand. The others were watching a game on the television that served as the centerpiece in the sprawling living room, but turned it off and came to meet them. The calm outside was a stark contrast to the noise level in the house. After the pack members introduced themselves, it wasn’t thirty seconds later when Brent, a pleasant looking man with medium chestnut hair swept stylishly to the side, said, “Dean made us take the No Humans Allowed sign off the front stoop for the night.”

  “Brent,” Rachel admonished.

  Morgan snickered. “Well, you can put it right back up when we leave. I don’t want to mess with your den decor. Speaking of, this place is beautiful, Rachel. Did you hire a decorator?”

  “She did it all,” Dean said proudly.

  “Well,” Rachel conceded, “I found pictures in magazines I liked and made each room look similar, so I didn’t do it all.”

  “I decorated my own house too,” Brandon chimed in.

  “Yeah, but the pizza boxes and beer bottles make it less homey,” Logan said.

  “Or,” Brandon countered, “they give it the feel I was going for.”

  “Frat House Chic?”

  “Fuck off, my place is awesome.” He swung his gaze back to Morgan. “It’s the perfect man cave.”

  “Hey, maybe Dean could let you borrow his sign and you can mark out Humans and put Women,” Brent said, and as Brandon sent him a fake jab, ducked out of the way.

  A grin cracked Morgan’s face at their antics and familiarity with each other. Studying the group, not a one looked related, but sometimes family was about more than blood.

  Grey had stayed beside her, but the group had subtly shifted until they stood in front of only her. It was as if Grey made them uncomfortable, though they didn’t give an impression of being scared. It seemed to be the natural way of things, almost as if he repelled the other wolves with something beyond her weaker senses. Something she didn’t understand. She slid him a glance, but he stood stoic and relaxed, just as he had minutes before, Lana still cradled against him.

  He didn’t look all that scary. Sure, he’d adopted a stronger stance than in the truck, but was quiet and subdued enough. His unnerving eyes were the only thing she could think of that would keep them at a distance. The wolves clapped each other on the backs at jokes, and squeezed each other’s shoulders. They brushed each other’s hips with soft caresses as they scooted by, but no one touched Grey. Confusing, but maybe it was because he wasn’t a real member of the pack. She became so curious about pack dynamics now. It was different than she’d imagined. She’d thought they were all like Grey in public. Closed off, quiet, watchful, serious. The pack wasn’t like that here at all. Huh.

  Alexis sat on the couch, glaring at Morgan.

  “I brought your present back,” she addressed her, rage burning through her veins again.

  “That’s pretty brave of you,” Alexis said, standing slowly.

  “Alexis,” Dean warned her.

  “Mmm,” Morgan said, straightening her spine. “Grey doesn’t need this from you. Next time maybe just choke on the bunny.”

  A snort sounded from behind her. She was pretty sure it was Grey.

  “Weak, short, nothing little human coming into my den and throwing attitude?” Alexis purred, approaching slowly.

  “Maybe I’m weak.” Morgan shrugged and dropped the box on the ground. “Maybe not. Maybe my bite is worse than my bark, bitch. Want to test it?”

  Now a few snickers sounded from behind her and someone murmured, “Oh shit.”

  Alexis smiled, but it looked feral and her canines were sharp. “You’re entertaining, I’ll give you that. Keep your guard dog close, little human. Don’t want any accidents.”

  “Alexis, if you even look at her wrong,” Grey said languidly, “This guard dog will give you the same fate as that fuckin’ rabbit. Tread carefully with your threats.”

  Alexis raised a finger and screamed, “Fuck you, Grey. I offered you the world—”

  “Don’t want your world!” Grey was standing right next to Morgan now and he looked a hundred feet tall, and now she felt something heavy. The air was hard to breathe and the other wolves were backing farther away from them. “Never asked for it.”

  Alexis rushed forward but Dean stepped in front of her so fast, he was a blur across the room. Whatever Alexis saw in his face, or heard in his soft words, the change in her demeanor was immediate. She hunched her shoulders and looked at the ground, exposed her neck. Dean said more that Morgan couldn’t hear, and Alexis slunk to the table, sat as far away from where Morgan and Grey stood as possible. Fury flashed in her eyes as she cast a glance to Morgan, and back to the table cloth.

  “Damn, Grey,” Jason said with a chuckle. “Your girl has some balls.”

  Dean turned and lifted his chin higher, studied Morgan. A slow smile curved his lips and he said, “I’m glad you’re human. I think you would’ve been terrifying as a werewolf.”

  Things went back to normal-ish after that. Except for Alexis, who ticked the minutes of her life by with glaring. Morgan didn’t care though. Let her glare. Prissy spoiled brat. Probably never been put in her place in her life. Was it smart to provoke a werewolf? Probably not. Did Morgan regret it? Not even a little bit. Now she could settle the territorial rage Alexis’s gift dredged up inside of her. She’d never gotten so protective of a man before. Honestly, she was kind of shocked by herself. Usually her move was to rise above and ignore haters, but for some reason she couldn’t do that with Alexis.

  She made her way from wolf to wolf, chatting easily and ignoring Alexis’s death stare, and she kept noticing how much space they all gave Grey. No one touched him, or talked to him, or hell, even looked at him.

  “Is affection important to a pack?” she asked curiously.

  “Yes,” Dean answered in a careful tone. He cast a glance at Grey, and then back to her. “Your man is a little different. Notice no one here shook your hand?”

  “It’s not the way we normally do things,” Jason explained. “People here usually get hugs, but the big bad wolf over there might rip our heads off if we get too close to you or the kid.”

  “Big bad wolf?” What a curious nickname. Weren’t they all big bad wolves?

  “She smells different,” Logan said from behind her, sniffing the air around her. “Do you have a dog or something?”

  “Are you saying I smell like a dog?” she teased.

  “No, no,” he backpedaled. “You smell different from other people.”

&nb
sp; “Dumbass,” Alexis offered from the table. “She hangs out with a werewolf all day. She probably smells like one. Stop pretending she’s special. She’s not.”

  Grey squinted thoughtfully at Logan but didn’t say anything. Rachel rubbed Lana’s back gently as the girl slept away in his arms.

  “Would you like to hold her?” Morgan offered.

  Rachel’s eyes grew wide and hopeful. “Absolutely!” She took Lana from Grey and headed for the living room. Rocking gently, she paced with Lana in front of the warm fireplace.

  Grey’s gaze rarely left Morgan as she interacted with the pack, and when he watched her like that, with pride and hunger, she found it hard to look away, and hold conversations.

  “Grey tells us you’re a graphic designer,” Dean said, breaking up her thoughts.

  “Yep, I get to run a small business from home. I have a room full of printers and the equipment I need to fill orders, and mail them directly to the buyers with no middleman to pay. It’s worked out well, so far. What do you guys do for work?”

  “I’m a stripper,” Logan offered.

  Wade shot a look heavenward as if he prayed for patience.

  Brandon groaned. “If you were a stripper, you’d be making zero dollars.”

  “What? I could totally make a living dancing for dollars. Watch this.” He flicked his ankle to the side and grabbed his crotch, thrusted his pelvis a few times, and did a terrible moonwalk across the carpet.

  “Gaah,” Brent gusted. “Just keep going until you disappear into the kitchen. We’ll tell you when to come back out.”

  “That was awesome,” Logan said.

  “That,” Brent replied, “was the least awesome stripper move I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  “I’d give you a dollar,” Morgan offered. “But only one.”

  “And it would be in nickels and pennies she found on the sidewalk.” That from Jason.

  “Haters,” Logan grumbled through the sounds of their laughter.

  As conversation became familiar and easy, Grey seemed to relax. Twice, she heard him chuckle, and oh, she breathed for that deep, humming sound of his happiness.

  The youngest wolf, Marissa, sat on the stairs, huddled into herself, as far away from Grey as possible. The ceiling lights reflected gold off of her long, curly tresses. She had a slight frame. A smattering of freckles graced fair cheeks and her eyes were vivid pale green. She slunk over to stand beside Rachel as Lana woke and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

  The wolves seemed to hover around Morgan like planets around a sun. When she turned her body, they turned. When she shifted her weight, six other bodies did too. It was so strange. She offered to help Rachel finish dinner, and everyone moved into the kitchen with her. Was it like this for all newcomers? Had it been like this when Grey met them for the first time?

  Logan sniffed her hair again while she tossed a Cesar salad with large wooden tongs and she startled at the sniffing noise so close to her ear. She took a step away from him.

  “Mine,” Grey snapped as Logan tried to sniff the back of her neck.

  Logan averted his eyes and moved away. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  Alexis spoke up from the table. “She doesn’t smell like yours. You obviously haven’t fucked her yet. You haven’t even claimed her and everyone can smell it, so she isn’t really yours now, is she? It’s your own damn fault Logan can’t keep his nose out of her hair.”

  Heat blazed up the side of Morgan’s neck. A menacing growl ripped through Grey. She shook her head slightly at him and turned back to Alexis.

  “I’m sorry he didn’t want you,” she said levelly. “I know that’s why you are upset, but he’ll fuck me soon enough.”

  Grey’s face went completely slack, his eyes widening to round golden orbs. The other wolves whistled and cat called, but he just stood there frozen.

  “Has he even kissed you yet?” Alexis asked, leaning back in her chair. “I know from experience that he’s a real good kisser.”

  Morgan stopped cutting and set the knife slowly onto the counter. Such anger over words shouldn’t have been possible. Alexis was just trying to get under her skin, so why was she letting her? Grey had kissed Alexis? And kept that little fact from Morgan? If he thought it wasn’t a big deal, he was horrifically mistaken. And on top of everything, she’d had to learn about it in front of everyone whose opinion mattered to Grey?

  Hers. That beautiful, dangerous, quiet, strong, sometimes shy but always protective, masculine, imposing creature was hers. She would be damned if a jealous woman made her question her place in his life. The room was so quiet, she could almost hear the strum of tension as they waited for her reaction.

  She was pissed. Pissed and surprised and hurt and—Grey grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her in, kissed her hard. He let the kiss last a few seconds and then nipped her bottom lip before he eased away, his eyes on fire as he searched her face. “Don’t ever question your place with me.”

  Okay. She nodded at him dumbly. Okay. He’d just kissed her in front of everyone and shut Alexis right up and how could she be mad or question her place when he’d basically told everyone she was his. She’d never been kissed in public like this before. Okay. She felt drunk, and swayed a little. “I’m good.”

  Grey nodded once and rumbled, “I need a minute with her.”

  Why was everyone smiling at her like that as she held onto Grey’s hand and stumbled behind him toward the front door. Was this what it felt like to be high? She’d never smoked weed, but she imagined it was like this.

  Outside, the stars were out by the trillions, silver glitter against a black paper backdrop twinkling around a half moon. Grey eased her in front of him and slid his arms around her waist. She would never get used to the strength and comfort of his warm embrace. Her insides turned molten at a touch from him. He gripped her shirt and she melted back into the immovable planes of his chest. God, her heart raced when he held her like this.

  His lips brushed her sensitive earlobe. “Did you mean it earlier?” he asked, his deep tenor vibrating deliciously against her. “Did you mean what you said when you told Alexis I’d fuck you soon enough?”

  “That all depends on you, Mr. Big Bad Wolf,” she said as she nuzzled her cheek against his. “Ask me, and I’m yours.”

  He smiled against her skin. “Do you have a preference in rings?”

  Her heart skittered. “Wait, what?”

  “Rings. Do you like big ones, or…?”

  “What kind of ring are you talking about?”

  He turned her in his arms, gripped her shoulder and held her at a small distance as he studied her face. “I thought you meant ask you to marry me.”

  She just stood there like an icicle in winter.

  “Youuuuu didn’t mean that, did you?” he asked.

  “You would marry me?” she squeaked out.

  Grey chuckled. “Yes. Are you asking?”

  “No! I mean…” She cleared her throat and lowered her voice. “No. I think you should do the asking. When you’re ready.”

  He pulled her in for a hug and swayed back and forth under that half-moon. “Slow,” he murmured. “I’m trying to take it slow. Sometimes it’s hard because I already know what I want.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “You,” he said simply.

  Every man she’d ever dated had made her question their feelings for her. Every single one. She’d just grown used to the idea that no one would ever want her in that way, but here was Grey, open with his wants for their future, and it was the best feeling in the world.

  He leaned in and brushed his lips against her neck. Morgan rolled her eyes closed and arched her head back to give him better access. That man knew exactly how to play with her body.

  If his lips touched her neck again, she’d explode into a thousand yearning pieces. “Grey,” she whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “You’re making me so wet.”

  “Mmmmm,” he groaned. “Good.” His teeth
grazed the tender skin at her throat and her knees threatened to buckle. She closed her eyes again and leaned into him, but he was gone. She pitched forward, shocked at the absence of his hands.

  “Slow,” he said from where he stood up on the porch. Holy balls, he was fast.

  That should probably scare her but it didn’t. Nothing about him did. Maybe her instincts were broken.

  His eyes glowed from the shadows of the porch as he murmured, “If I keep touching you, our first time will be in the back seat of my truck, me fucking you like a rutting animal from behind. Call me old-fashioned, but I want better for you.”

  “That truck?” she asked cheekily, pointing to his rig. “That sounds fun.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t tempt me.”

  “You’re right, you’re right. We shouldn’t do that now. I’m noisy when I come, and there’s werewolves in the house. They would definitely hear us.”

  Grey muttered a curse and adjusted his dick, then opened the front door and gestured her inside. “I need a minute.”

  Like one who’d taken three too many dollops of the peach schnapps, she stumbled inside and tried to put the frayed, happy-drunk pieces of her mind back together.

  Everyone was seated around the giant dining table inside, and were chattering happily when she came in. That noise stopped as they looked at her.

  “Where’s Grey?” Rachel asked.

  “Trying to get his boner to go away, I’d guess,” Jason said around a bite of roll.

  “Hey Grey,” Brandon called out. “Think about toenails.”

  “Fuck you, man,” came Grey’s muffled reply through the closed door.

  The boys snickered and Rachel rolled her eyes, pointed to a seat next to her. She was cutting up food on a plate for Lana on her other side.

  Morgan had her and Grey’s plates filled by the time he came back in. He didn’t look embarrassed at all. He looked smug and sexy.

  Dinner was quiet with a weightless, comfortable silence as they filled hungry stomachs. Grey leaned back in his chair and draped his arm around the back of hers. He hadn’t kept his gaze from her for long during the meal, but whether because of their conversation outside or his adopted pack seemingly accepted her and Lana so easily, she couldn’t tell. Even if Wolf was present through the steady color of his eyes, he was happy and more relaxed than she’d imagined she’d see him. How could anything top such a feeling? This complete and utter confidence and comfort with another person. Who cared if they weren’t the same? They would make it work, because even if they hadn’t said those three, all important words out loud, she felt them to the very core of her being. Him already admitting he wanted only her said he felt the same.